Scorpion's Disciple
by nobody102
Summary: AU. Orochimaru's resignation from Akatsuki is more intense than in canon, resulting in a meeting between young Naruto and Sasori… Slow buildup.
1. Failure

Slowly and carefully, Sasori rose to his feet and inspected the battlefield.

No, that wasn't right. It wasn't a battlefield so much as a monument to his defeat - a plain of broken puppets mocking him with its existence. Oh, there was plenty of dead flesh among the puppets, but these people had never been more than puppets themselves. Their master was still out there, very much alive. Alive and, in all likelihood, laughing at Sasori.

The puppeteer maneuvered throughout the battlefield, inspecting the remains. Most of the puppets were damaged to the point where they weren't worth repairing and, since one of the downsides to using human puppets was that their parts were not interchangeable, he couldn't salvage pieces of them either. He would have to start over.

When he finally reached the remains of Hiruko and found it utterly destroyed his control over his emotions slipped for a moment and he frowned. Hiruko was his favorite puppet, second only to the third Kazekage… and now it was gone, along with the rest of his collection. Just like that. He absentmindedly fingered the storage scroll that held his last surviving human puppet – he didn't know whether it was fortunate or irritating that he didn't have the opportunity to bring out the Kazekage into the fray. Perhaps the battle would have turned out differently if he did, or maybe he would simply end up losing everything.

Orochimaru was going to pay for this.

Not that he could get back at the man in the foreseeable future - it would take years to replenish his collection even under ideal conditions. As much as he wanted to track down Orochimaru immediately, he had no choice but to admit he had no chance against the man right now. And besides, the battle nicely illustrated that Sasori's battle strategy has a major weakness when employed against Orochimaru - an over-reliance on poisons.

Sasori didn't consider it much of a weakness till now. No one had ever survived the poison he coats his weapons with – even Hidan could be effectively neutralized with it – so Sasori's strategy mostly came down to showering the area with as many attacks as possible, since every hit was lethal. It was a strategy that worked flawlessly.

Until now. Orochimaru was immune. As a being made of flesh and blood Orochimaru should have been affected, but Orochimaru clearly wasn't human anymore. To add insult to injury, the demonic-looking fodder that Orochimaru used to distract him was highly resistant to Sasori's poison as well. It took several minutes for the poison to start seriously affecting them, plenty of time to make an utter nuisance of themselves. Fighting Orochimaru one-on-one would have been challenging enough by itself, so this just cemented the snake-sannin's victory. If Orochimaru knew Sasori had turned himself into a puppet, he would have probably died in that battle.

Then again, Orochimaru didn't seem all that interested in making sure Sasori was dead for sure. No matter, the snake summoner would regret his sloppiness eventually, because Sasori _would_ have his revenge, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

The question was, what should he do _now_, in the short term?

He had no intention of going back to Akatsuki. He had allowed his partner, one that Leader specifically instructed him to watch closely for treachery, to defect. Leader was never very understanding of failure so coming before him in this sort of vulnerable state was a big no-no. Before he even thinks of going back he needs to replenish his strength and find some way make up for this debacle. In the meantime, it would best if he 'stays dead' for a while.

He found a suitable looking corpse from among the fodder Orochimaru used, stripped him of anything that might tie him to Orochimaru, and dressed him in clothes from one of the puppets. Hopefully whomever Leader sends won't look too closely. Most of them were kill-and-smash type of people anyway, not investigators. He took the Akatsuki ring off his finger and put it on the corpse. The ring was technically supposed to be impossible to remove, except in death, but Sasori didn't have any flesh for the ring to bind to so he could remove it as he pleased. As far as he knew, no one knew this, so this setup should look pretty convincing.

After a moment's thought he took two other corpses and sealed them away into a storage scroll. If he was going to go after Orochimaru he needed to find out what was the deal with the demonic appearances of his subordinates, and the nature of their strange abilities. It looked almost like a bloodline limit of sorts.

Now all he needed was a place to lie low in. His appearance shouldn't be much of a problem - his blade-wings could be sealed away in the storage seals on his back, and moderately heavy clothing should hide other signs of his puppet nature. He felt vulnerable without his armor puppet, but walking around in one would be far too distinctive if he wanted to stay inconspicuous. His best bet was to leverage his spy network, but this was fraught with perils. While his contacts were trustworthy enough for information gathering purposes, he was loath to rely on them in a sensitive time like this. And, of course, Akatsuki would surely try to salvage whatever they could of his spy network for their own purposes, so he couldn't interact with his contacts as freely as he'd like.

In any case, if he was going to get back on track in a reasonable amount of time he needed access to funds and materials. Funds weren't that much of a deal, since he had plenty stashed away exactly for these kinds of occasions, but there weren't many places where he could get the needed amount of materials without raising some eyebrows.

Konoha sounded just about right. It was a ninja village, and fairly cosmopolitan one at that, so his mannerisms and activities wouldn't look too out of place; it was the most civilian-friendly ninja village, so he probably wouldn't be scrutinized too closely; it's governance was riddled with convoluted bureaucracies, always a boon when you're trying to hide shady activities; the village has an ample supply of cheap and quality wood, so he would have no problems getting sufficient supply of puppet materials; and finally, he had a number of contacts there that could help him settle in without problems and were reasonably loyal.

Yes. Konoha it is

- break -

"You are sure of this?" asked Pein.

"We have retrieved Sasori's ring off one of the corpses," intoned Itachi emotionlessly.

Pein stared on impassively. No one knew what Sasori looked like beneath that armor puppet he always wore, so it _could_ be a trick of some sort. But he doubted it. The puppeteer would have never have willingly trashed his entire collection, no matter what his goal was.

"And Orochimaru?" asked Pein.

"His currently location is unknown. He cut off his finger to foil the pursuit, so we cannot track him through the ring."

Pein continued to watch the rain fall over the city, keeping his back turned to Itachi. It was always a possibility, of course, but he had counted on member's reluctance to maim themselves. Orochimaru is the last person he's considered capable of it. After all, several hand-seals were now impossible to the snake-sannin, and thus a whole range of techniques as well. It was well known that mastering every jutsu in the world was Orochimaru's obsession. If he went this far, it meant…

…it meant that Orochimaru had found a way to render the injury irrelevant.

"Damage?" asked Pein more forcefully.

"Orochimaru took a large corpus of research notes with him when he left," said Itachi, "as well as several important researchers. Many projects will have to start over from scratch."

Fortunately, Pein had already taken precautions against this happening. He had his reservations against Orochimaru since day one, and had already established parallel teams for all crucial projects. No, there was a lot more serious issue a hand…

"What about Sasori's spy network?"

The slight hesitation before Itachi started speaking again told Pein immediately it was just as bad as he suspected.

"I'm afraid it will be difficult to assume control of Sasori's network without his guidance. Whatever means Sasori used to establish and maintain his network were lost along with him. Merely identifying the agents in question is proving to be a difficult and time-consuming process. Additionally, those agents we contacted are almost without fail loyal to Sasori, not Akatsuki as such. Significant efforts will have to be expended into making them accept us as their new employers. We will salvage what we can, but our information gathering effort will be severely restricted in the foreseeable future."

Pein could help but frown. This was a significant set-back. There was very few spymasters of Sasori's caliber that weren't aligned with one of the major villages, and their services were exorbitantly expensive. Somehow, Sasori was able to maintain a spy network as extensive as that of a major ninja village, for a quarter of the cost – a feat that not even Pein could replicate.

"That is all. Leave now."

Pein listened absentmindedly to Itachi's receding footsteps as he thought about his next actions. This changes everything. It wasn't enough to stop him, not by a long shot, but it was aggravating to face such an hurdle nevertheless. Orochimaru would have to be made an example of, of course. Once the new spy network was up and running he would find out everything he could about Orochimaru's bases and research facilities… and destroy them.

Personally.

- break -

"It… it is a pleasure to have you here, Sasori-sama."

Yakushi Kabuto couldn't help but stare at the red-headed teenager sitting in front of him. There was no way, absolutely no way, that the terrifying and merciless Sasori of the Red Sands, before whom Kabuto had trembled in fear as a little boy, could be this… _young_! It went against some basic facts about Sasori that Kabuto knew about. The teenager in front of him was _at most_ 16, and probably younger. Younger than Kabuto, in any case.

Oblivious to Kabuto's doubts, the boy that claimed to be Sasori didn't even bother to look up from the documents he was studying. That at least was Sasori-like. Looking at the boy's face, Kabuto could not see so much as a _hint _of emotion on it, despite being exceptionally skilled at reading people. There was no unconscious ticks, no frowns or lip-pursing, not even his eyes wandered around. The boy's face was as lifeless as… as…

Oh. Oh, wow.

"Is there something wrong?" asked Sasori.

"No, no, everything's fine Sasori-sama," said Kabuto cheerily. "I just realized something, that's all. Is the information I gathered satisfactory?"

"More or less," said Sasori, finally deigning to look Kabuto in the eyes. "Now… can I trust you Kabuto?"

It was in that exact moment that the last doubt that this is really Sasori melted away in Kabuto's mind. That serene expression filled with unflinching confidence… he could never lie to this man, he just didn't have the skill. Sasori's eyes peered into his soul, stripping away any deception he might endeavor to erect and leaving his true nature bare before the puppet master.

"Always, Sasori-sama," said Kabuto seriously.

"Up until recently," began Sasori, "I had been a member of a certain organization called Akatsuki. I worked in a two-man cell with a man called Orochimaru."

"Of the leaf?" asked Kabuto.

"Of the leaf," confirmed Sasori. "Originally, I had sent you here to get medic-nin training so that you could infiltrate Orochimaru's inner circle. He is always looking for medic-nins willing to participate in his experiments. However, I am no longer interested in spying on Orochimaru. I intend to destroy him."

Kabuto could read between the lines – he was a spy, after all – Orochimaru defeated Sasori rather soundly, and now the puppeteer wanted revenge. Not that Kabuto was complaining. While he wasn't the squeamish type, he didn't really know how he would put up with a monster like Orochimaru.

"As far as everyone is concerned, I'm dead," continued Sasori. "And I'd like it to stay that way. I have much in the way of preparations before I can make my move, perhaps years, so I will make Konoha my temporary base of operations till then. You, on the other hand, will have a task of your own to accomplish."

Sasori took out what was probably a storage scroll and placed it in front of Kabuto.

"The scroll contains two corpses of Orochimaru's underlings," said Sasori. "They seemed to have abilities reminiscent of a bloodline limit. I want you to use your medical knowledge and tell me everything you can about them. Do not fail me, Kabuto."

"I won't, Sasori-sama. I won't."

- break -

Uzumaki Naruto walked aimlessly through the streets of Konoha, his orange jumpsuit shining brightly as it reflected the rays of the midday sun. This in itself was nothing unusual - Naruto often walked aimlessly through Konoha. His apartment was really just a place to sleep over and stash what few belongings he had, and he was always outside if he could help it. No, the unusual part was that he was frowning.

He wasn't really unhappy, just bored. It was a beautiful sunny day and he didn't have to go to the academy today, which usually meant a fun day for blonde. But not today. He already performed every prank he could think of and, well, that's as far as his ideas to pass the time went. Oh, he could whip out some lame prank in an eye-blink, but that was below him. No, a master of pranks like him does not go for quantity – if he was going to prank someone it was going to be unique, unexpected, and _absolutely hilarious_. But he currently had nothing that fit that description. He briefly toyed with the idea of searching out for Sakura-chan, but she was particularly vicious yesterday, so he decided to give her some space for a while. At least until tomorrow. Is her considerate or what? Certainly more than Sasuke. So anyway, now he was thinking about what to do with himself. 'The frown' he was wearing was what people who knew him a little better, few as they were, referred to as his 'thinking expression'. Evidently he found the activity painful.

And so, with his face firmly pointed towards her ground, his eyes squinting and his hands in his pockets, Naruto rounded a corner and collided with a red-headed teenager who was carrying a stack of wooden boards and other supplies that obstructed his vision. Both of them collapsed on their backs, and Naruto yelped as one of the boards fell on his leg.

Naruto scrambled up in the blink of an eye, surveying the situation. The red-head was already up and dusting himself off, so no damage done. That was good, because Naruto just knew it would be his fault if the older boy was injured in the accident. His satisfaction deflated a little when he noticed a spilled bucket of brown paint nearby. The other boy also surveyed the situation, not sparing a single glance on Naruto.

"Well crap," the boy mumbled under his breath, no doubt thinking Naruto couldn't hear him. Over the years Naruto had noticed he had a lot better hearing than most people, but that was something he kept to himself. It's amazing what one can find out when people think you can't hear them whispering from the other side of the room. Hell, listening in on conversations was the main way he found out anything!

"Um…" Naruto began. "Sorry about that. I was thinking and wasn't paying attention."

The red-head shook his head dismissively, still not looking at Naruto, and began picking up boards. Naruto's blood began to boil – he _hated_ being ignored. He started picking up boards to help the other boy and trying to establish eye-contact along the way. When that didn't work he started talking.

"Hey Red, what are you doing with these things anyway?" asked Naruto as he handed the last of the boards to the other boy.

"I'm opening a new shop in Konoha," the other boy said evenly. "The building was in pretty bad shape so I was going to change some floorboards and repaint the place."

"Oh," said Naruto. "You know, you look a bit young to be a shop owner. What kind of shop is it anyway?"

"Ninja supplies."

"Really! You know, I'm studying to become a ninja!"

"You don't say," the older boy said serenely. "I thought ninja are supposed to be aware of their surroundings at all times."

"What do you…" Naruto stopped when he remembered colliding with the other boy just a few moments ago. "Ah, that. That was a one-time thing. I'm pretty awesome actually. Just you watch, I'm going to be Hokage in a few years, the best Hokage in the history of Konoha in fact, or my name isn't Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!"

The red-head finally deigned to look Naruto in the eyes. The older boy had the most serene expression Naruto had seen in a long time, and Naruto had to fight the urge to look away from the soul-penetrating eyes boring into him.

In his life, Naruto only met 3 sorts of people: those who clearly disliked him and were constantly putting him down; people who were uncomfortable around him, like he was going to swallow them whole if they take their eyes off of him; and people who were friendly and supportive his dream. The red-head before him was none of those things – his face portrayed a sort of calm confidence that told Naruto he doesn't mean a damn thing to the older boy, one way or another.

It was a novel and unsettling feeling.

"That's a pretty grandiose proclamation," the red-head said. "What exactly do you base this opinion on?"

"It's not an opinion!" protested Naruto, regaining his senses. "I am going to be the next Hokage and that's that!"

"Oh," said the red-head calmly. "So it's just unsubstantiated bullshit."

The sentence was delivered in such a matter-of-factly tone that Naruto was left actually speechless for a second.

Then he got angry.

"Shut up!" he yelled. "You don't know anything!"

"I know that you're making assertions with no proof to back them up, insisting that your feelings on the matter should trump any amount of facts or common sense to the contrary. If you can't present your point of view any better than that, than why should I believe you?"

"When I become Hokage, you'll be sorry for mocking my dream!" tried Naruto again. "You'll be sorry! Everyone will have to admit they were wrong about me and acknowledge me as… what the hell is so funny!"

Naruto was fuming. He didn't know what it was about the red-headed teenager that made his teeth grind, seeing how he had his dream dismissed by plenty of people before, but something about his tone and manner of speaking just made him want to punch the guy in the face! And now he was laughing at him too!

The red-head finally schooled his expression again. "You really are delusional, aren't you? It takes more than a high position in the official hierarchy to earn people's respect. A Hokage is instated into the position because they are respected, not the other way around. You're just a loud brat who talks big. You could proclaim yourself the king of all elemental countries and nobody would give a damn."

"Oh yeah! Well _you're_ just a stupid civilian who don't know greatness when he sees it!" screamed Naruto. "I'm going to become Hokage and nothing is going to stop me! So there! What do you say now, huh!"

People around them didn't even stop to stare, going about their lives as if this was a regular occurrence. And it was. Naruto had to admit it wasn't the first time he yelled something like that in the middle of the street. The red-headed teen, however, didn't scoff or sneer at Naruto, or react in a way that the blonde would expect. He didn't commend him on his 'will of fire' like the Old Man would, or wave him off out of annoyance like most civilians. Instead his face suddenly got completely and utterly serious.

"You're such a petulant child," the red-head said calmly, and then simply turned and went on his way, leaving Naruto behind.

Naruto had heard a lot of insults in his life. He had been called a failure, an idiot, a no-good brat that will never amount to anything, a dope, dead-last, public disturbance, and worse. And yet, few of those affected him the way this simple sentence did. There was no trace of hostility in the other boy's voice as he said them, no underlying sense of superiority: it was as if the other boy truly believed Naruto deserved to be told this.

Naruto stared at the can of spilled paint the red-head left behind for a full minute before continuing his aimless wandering, this time with a real frown on his face.

- break -

Naruto sat on a swing in one of the many small parks that dotted Konoha, half-heartedly pushing himself from time to time. There was nobody there except him, and the only sound that could be heard was quiet creaking of the swing. It would have probably been a rather eerie scene if he weren't used to it by now. In fact, he chose this specific swing precisely because it creaked.

Ever since he was a child he found the silence terrifying. His sensitive ears picked up all sorts of creepy sounds when things were quiet. People often spoke mean things to him under their breath when he passed by them in an empty street, thinking he couldn't hear them, and then denied they did any such thing when he called them on it. Sometimes, when things were particularly quiet, he could even hear the soft footsteps of invisible stalkers behind and around him, hiding in the trees and rooftops. It was only years later that he understood that he wasn't insane and that he simply had better ears than other people.

The stalkers turned out to be ANBU that followed him around for some reason when he was a child. He would occasionally catch glimpses of their stark white masks, with their animal faces and huge black eyes, and it terrified him. These 'evil spirits' haunted his childhood nightmares every time he closed his eyes, and it was years before he found out they were just ninja sent to protect him. Even today, he still resented the Old Man somewhat for not telling him about that, and for laughing at him when a particular encounter with ANBU scared him to tears.

Jerk.

In any case, he was no longer terrified of silence, but he didn't like it. In silence, there was little to do but think, and Naruto didn't really want to think. Thinking inevitably led to an awful lot of questions that nobody saw fit to answer him. There wasn't much point to it, really – the way to succeed was to ignore all who wanted to bring him down and press on regardless how convincing their arguments were. 'The Will of Fire', as the Old Man would put it. Thinking just made you depressed and cranky. So whenever there was something bothering him, he would come to the swing. The rhythmic creaking sound soothed him, allowing him to focus on the creaking instead of pointlessly dwelling on his problems.

He glanced at the nearby playground. When he first came here, there was a gaggle of children playing there, but they wanted nothing to do with him, and soon left. Naruto wasn't really bothered – they were stupid anyway. 'Playing ninja', yeah right… he was going to be a _real_ ninja, so there. It's just that he couldn't help but overhear one boy telling the others that his mother told him to stay away from Naruto, 'because he was dangerous'. It reminded him of his time at the orphanage, when he would overhear other children spreading all sorts of rubbish about him behind his back. It made him so…

He clenched the chains tighter in his hands and pushed himself more firmly off the ground. As the creaking got louder and the wind started hitting his face, Naruto could feel his anger abating and his thought shifting elsewhere. It doesn't matter. None of it maters. He was going to become Hokage and marry Sakura-chan, and no one will speak such lies about him again.

'_You're such a petulant child.'_

He pressed his feet firmly into the ground and the swing came to a swift halt.

"This sucks," stated Naruto to no one in particular.

This was all the red-head's fault. If he didn't ridicule his dream like that, he wouldn't be depressed in the first place, and he wouldn't give a damn what a bunch of brats think about him. Suddenly his face split into a devious smile and he began chuckling to himself. Didn't the guy said he was opening a new shop? And he needed it painted too?

Well… surely Naruto could help out a bit in that regard.

- break -

It was evening when Sasori came to retrieve something from his shop, only to find the blonde boy from earlier that day painting his shop in pink and yellow flowers. Sasori never really liked flowers – such transitory things, wilting away after just a few days – but the real issue was that flowery background was not something that any self-respecting ninja supply shop would use. Which was the whole point behind the kid's activities, he supposed.

As stealthily as he could, Sasori approached the blonde until he was right behind him. It was surprisingly difficult, actually. The boy had good ears.

"What do you think you're doing to my shop?"

The boy jumped in surprise, dropping his brush, but didn't make a single sound. Instead he spun around with speed that surprised Sasori, staring bug-eyed at the puppet master. Sasori's face was carefully twisted into an expression of mild irritation at the childish act of vandalism the blonde was inflicting upon him.

"Err… I'm… helping you out! Yeah! You did said you need to paint the shop so I thought…"

Sasori stared at the blonde in silence. Did he look that stupid to the kid? No one would believe such a transparent lie. He waited for a while for the blonde to state something else, but boy just started chuckling and rubbing the back of his head nervously, before quickly scooping up his brush and putting it behind his back, as if doing so would hide his involvement at the shop's sudden flowery motif. He looked ready to bolt at the first sign of danger, but Sasori had no intention of wasting his time by chasing a little kid around like an idiot.

"That's such a pathetic lie," Sasori said finally. "After having been caught red-handed, you can't even admit as much and apologize like a responsible individual. Earlier today you told me you wanted people's respect, and then you do something like this?"

"But…" the blonde protested weakly, clearly not expecting this kind of interaction. Sasori supposed that curses and threats of physical violence were common responses to something like this, but Sasori would never stoop to the level of swearing and he didn't do threats – he killed. The kid wasn't _quite_ at the point where Sasori wanted to skewer him without warning and dump his corpse into a nearby river, but he was steadily getting there.

"But what?" Sasori said. "You just vandalized my place. You're not getting any respect that way."

"Vandalism!" protested Naruto indignantly. "This is art, man!"

Sasori struggled to keep his temper in check and failed, lowering his face in a threatening manner. The gesture caused the boy to take a step back and take in all available escape routes. Sasori was actually impressed at the clearly practiced reaction, and idly wondered what kind of life the kid lived if he already had an instinct like that.

"Art?" Sasori asked in a deceptively friendly tone, his eyes boring into boy's, daring him to repeat what he just said.

"Y-yeah," the boy answered. He swallowed heavily, clearly trying to summon his courage. "It takes a lot of skill and effort to do something like this! I had to evade the patrols and find a window of opportunity long enough to finish painting the place; bring enough paint and correct brushes and not be slowed down by everything I carried; fit all the materials within my budget; paint everything in less than an hour; lot's of things. And look how pretty the flowers are! That takes some skill!"

It… made some twisted sort of sense. No doubt organizing something like this took a non-trivial amount of effort, and the boy clearly cared about his workmanship enough to argue with the man whose property he just vandalized. Still, at the heart of things this was just a childish prank, superbly executed or not, and Sasori wasn't going to encourage it.

"Yes, I bet your parents would be real proud of you," Sasori said.

"My parents are dead," the boy said angrily.

"So are mine," Sasori shot back. "The point remains."

The blonde grunted and backed off. Which was good, because Sasori never had much patience with the 'lack of parents' excuse. And it wasn't because Sasori lost his parents too, either – it's just that Sasori had lived long enough to see plenty of people whose lives were, to borrow a phrase he overheard a few days ago, 'utter suck-age'. There were far, _far_ worse fates in the world than loosing ones parents was.

"It was a prank, okay?" said Naruto quietly. "It's what I do. I prank people. I thought everyone knew that."

Sasori cocked his head to the side in a curious expression, like a bird studying a shiny object. The child was baffling, and Sasori didn't like things he didn't understand. He liked to examine them until they make sense, vivisect them if he had to.

Fortunately for the boy, verbal answers should be sufficient in this case.

"Why do you prank people?"

"I…" begun the boy. "It's fun. I make people laugh. Sometimes."

"Really?" Sasori responded. "For a moment I thought it was revenge for disagreeing with you when you ran into me earlier."

The blonde looked down into the ground. "You were making fun of me," he protested weakly.

"Actually I was just being dismissive," Sasori said. "I assure you I derived no 'fun' from berating you. I was just annoyed that some random kid ran into me, spouted a whole lot of nonsense without so much as a word of prompting from me, and then behaved like a spoiled child when I objected to his claims."

"I am _not _a spoiled child! Or a petulant one, either!"

"You love to brag, you're easily offended, and you take things personally when there's no need to. That's not what a mature person behaves like."

"But you dismissed my dream without thinking! Why is it impossible for me to become Hokage, huh!"

"I never said it was _impossible_," said Sasori, "but you'll need to earn people's respect first before you're even considered for the position. That is no easy feat, and you are years, probably decades away from being a viable candidate. Pronouncing your intention to become Hokage to an absolute stranger, without prompting, makes you seem conceited. It would paint just about anyone in bad light, but especially someone like you – a little kid who isn't even a out of academy yet."

The boy shuffled in place uncomfortably, clearly at loss for a response.

"I will not give up!"

"Good for you," Sasori said flatly. "Now get lost before I report you for this… _art_… of yours."

Sasori watched the kid as he ran into the night. The child had piqued his interest. From their exchange, and people's reactions, he got the notion that the blonde was famous somehow, yet he had no knowledge of him. He always hated being in the dark of things, so perhaps a small information gathering endeavor is in order. He needed some time to clear his head, anyway, and how hard should it be to shadow someone like that kid? Uzumaki Naruto, was it?

He glanced at his shop. No way he's scrubbing off all that paint. That's the sort of thing rookie genin were for – he'll just post a request for a D-rank.

Yes, Sasori had a petulant side too.

- break -

Ichiraku's Ramen Stand was Naruto's sanctuary. If there was any place he considered home, it would be that little stand, with it's delicious aroma of ramen wafting through the air, the pleasant attitude of old man Teuchi, and the friendly conversations with Ayame. When possible, he would time his visits so that he would be the only costumer and pretended in his mind that they were a family of sorts.

"So what's on your mind?" Ayame asked, leaning across the counter.

"Nothing," said Naruto. "Why?"

"You seem upset."

Naruto concentrated on his ramen bowl for a moment to buy time. It's been three days and he couldn't stop thinking about the red-headed shop owner. What was the deal with that guy, anyway? The guy just didn't make sense.

He shook his head, banishing the thought. He came here to get his mind off the guy!

Originally he wanted to talk to the Old Man, since the Hokage always seemed to have an answer to all Naruto's doubts, but he was too busy this week to meet with Naruto. It was probably for the best – why should he bother Old Man because of what some random shop keeper told him? It was nothing. He was dealing with people like that all his life! Well, not _quite_ like that… There was something strange and unnerving about the red-head, something that made his remarks strike deeper than they usually do, but Naruto couldn't pin-point it. In fact, he… Damn it, he was thinking about him again!

"Just people putting me down again," Naruto said. "I'll be alright in a couple of days."

"Don't worry Naruto, you'll show them all one day," Ayame said.

Naruto grinned. He knew she was saying just to make him feel better, but he still appreciated the thought behind it. "Damn right they will. It's just gets me down every now and then, but I can handle it. Uzumaki Naruto can't be defeated that easily!"

He talked with Ayame for a while, with the old man Teuchi occasionally dropping into the conversation to deliver some of his own advice. They were supportive, like always, and Naruto soon found himself in a good mood again. He wished he could afford to come here every day… or better yet, that he had someone like this waiting for him when he came back to his apartment. Instead, the only think that waited for him was silence.

But he couldn't afford to think like that. At least the apartment was 10 times better than the orphanage had been. At least the apartment was warm and dry, unlike the alleys and sewers he slept in for two weeks after he ran away from the orphanage.

At least the nightmares that haunted him in the apartment were all in his head.

He finished his last bowl, paid for his meal, and waved the Ichiraku's goodbye. He knew it was about time to close down the stand, even if neither Teuchi nor Ayame come out and tell Naruto to get lost so they can go home. They were too nice for that, but Naruto didn't want to inconvenience them.

He didn't really want to inconvenience anyone. So why did so many people go out of their way to inconvenience _him_?

One more question that had no answer and was pointless to think about.

He maneuvered the streets without really paying attention, every nook and cranny of the village already memorized. After a 10 minute walk he reached his destination: a small mixed goods store that was about to close soon. Good, his timing was _perfect_.

He pushed the door and walked in without sparing a second glance to the cashier. Sometimes the store owners gave him trouble, but never when he came in a few minutes before closing. Nobody wanted to argue for 30 minutes when they could just grit their teeth, play along, and go home for the day already. He scanned the shelves quickly, taking things that looked safe.

Buying food in stores was always a gamble - every once in a while he would get terrible stomach pains and fevers after eating food he bought from them. It wasn't consistent, and it was never lethal, so he couldn't really accuse them of trying to poison him intentionally… but the fact remained that buying anything that could be easily tampered with had cost him dearly plenty of times. On top of this, he had to keep in mind that electricity went out randomly in his apartment for hours at the time, so any food he left in the freezer tended to get spoiled if it was at all spoilable. The fire country wasn't named such for nothing, and all that heat did very bad things to any meat or dairy products every time he would get an outage.

As a consequence he only bought factory-packed, hermetically sealed products that could withstand the heat well. Instant soups and ramen were the core of his diet, supplemented be milk and an occasional basket of fruit the Old Man had people bring him.

And besides… he didn't really know how to prepare anything more complex than various instant meals, and the instructions were always really tiny and used all sorts of funny words that Naruto didn't understand.

As he exited the store and started walking home he heard a sound to his left and stiffened momentarily. All day now he has been hearing things, like someone was stalking him, but the sounds were too sporadic for that. It was his childhood all over again.

He shrugged and continued on. Probably just a cat or something.

- break -

It's been a week since Sasori started shadowing Uzumaki Naruto, and he had to admit that the blonde was definitely more than he expected. Being a Kyuubi jinchuuriki would have been interesting enough in itself, but the boy lived a life as interesting as befits his status as the container of the nine-tailed fox.

Just avoiding being seen was a chore, since the boy had more than just good hearing – it was positively supernatural in scope. Stealth wasn't really Sasori's specialty, so it took constant effort to be as silent as he needed to be, but fortunately the boy wasn't too paranoid. In the end Sasori enlisted Kabuto's help (under the pretense of it being a punishment for snickering at the store's new motif) in order to procure the academy records and observe the boy during lessons.

Superficially, the boy was an utter failure – an atrociously bad student with a penchant for immature pranks and an unhealthy obsession with his female classmate, utterly devoid of social intelligence and possessing of incredibly grating manner of speech. Most people would say - and _had_ said, in front of the boy sometimes - that the boy was hopeless.

Sasori wasn't most people. What he saw potential.

The spars organized by the academy, as well as an occasional vivid report by one of the instructors, showed that the boy had excellent spur of the moment planning and often came up with unconventional, but effective tactics. Clearly the blonde had a good grasp of strategy stuffed somewhere in his brain, squeezed between his obsessions with becoming Hokage, ramen, and that Haruno girl. His ability to live alone without becoming a total slob displayed depths of logistics and willpower that many men three times his age couldn't muster. Finally, considering the complete disinterest the vast majority of academy instructors had for him, the boy was doing surprisingly well.

Sasori couldn't deny he was interested in Naruto. There was some part of him that he didn't even know he still had that sympathized with the boy's plight. And in the worst case, maybe he can find out something that might be of use if he ever decides to go back to Akatsuki. Really, he didn't have to do much. He would just talk to the kid and see where it leads. Maybe Sasori's influence will rub off on the kid and if not… well, it's not like he lost much did he?

Naruto didn't have anyone to help him, either in his calling as a ninja, or in life. The three people he interacted with on positive terms were little more than acquaintances by standards of other people. He had no one he could really go to if he had a problem, no role model, no one he could reliably count on. The boy was desperate to find someone, _anyone_, who would not hate him or ignore him.

And Sasori was going to be that someone.

- break -

"Happy birthday Naruto."

Sarutobi suppressed a chuckle of amusement as Naruto grunted something vaguely like 'thank you' before continuing his assault on the ramen bowl. The boy was so easy to please. It made him feel bad for not devoting more time to the child, but he was swamped with obligations. The Kyuubi attack and the Uchiha massacre were both massive blows to Konoha's power, leaving scars that would take decades to heal. Other villages were constantly probing for weaknesses - the Hyuuga incident came to mind - and internal power-plays threatened to blow out of control, various interest groups bickering amongst each other in an attempt to fill the power vacuum created by the village's misfortunes. Konoha was a giant mess right now, and Sarutobi was in charge of dealing with it.

Try as he might, he was just too busy to devote more time to his adoptive grandson. It's not easy to garner respect when everyone knows you're just a placeholder until a suitable successor is found, even if you are the famous 'professor'. It's not easy to assign missions to proper teams when a large section of your forces has been only recently promoted to their positions. It's not easy handling diplomacy in an increasingly hostile world. It's not easy spending time with your family while not shirking from your duties to the village.

And on top of all that he had to find time to visit Naruto? Well he did! Once every month or two. Surely no one could ask more of him?

"So, 10 years old, huh?" said Ayame, more as a statement than an actual question.

"Yup!" answered Naruto, temporarily breaking off his speed-eating. "One year closer to becoming Hokage!"

"I'm not so sure…" said the Old Man mischievously, "if what Iruka is telling me is correct, you'll be glad to even graduate from the Academy."

"That's mean, Old Man," protested Naruto, but quickly twisted his face into his signature foxy grin. "You're just afraid for your job so you're trying to demoralize me. Uzumaki Naruto doesn't quit that easily!"

"I'm glad to hear that," said the aging Hokage. "Determination is a crucial skill for a ninja. Still, I'm somewhat concerned that a potential Hokage is unwilling to do the work necessary to qualify for the position. Will you shirk from your responsibilities as a Hokage too?"

"No!" shouted Naruto, rising from his stool. "I'm going to be the best Hokage ever! I wouldn't betray the village like that!"

Sarutobi locked eyes with Naruto, who looked directly into Sarutobi's eyes, as if daring him to contradict him. Even when Sarutobi leaked a minute amount of killing intent, Naruto refused to back down. Hell, the boy didn't even flinch. Sarutobi couldn't resist chuckling in amusement at that kind of bravado. 'The will of fire burns strongly in him, indeed.'

Naruto didn't seem very pleased that his heartfelt proclamation was being laughed at, though, and returned to his meal, mumbling about how nobody takes him seriously.

"I heard you tried to reach me last week," said Sarutobi. "I'm sorry that I couldn't meet you but I was busy and your birthday was close so… It wasn't anything urgent, I hope?"

"Nope," said Naruto casually. "I just had a chat with someone and it made me think. I just wanted to talk to you a bit."

"Well I'm all ears," Sarutobi said.

"It was nothing important," said Naruto, shaking his head. "I've dealt with it. How is being Hokage working for you?"

"I manage," Sarutobi said.

"Good, don't you dare retire before I'm ready to take your place Old Man," Naruto warned.

"Well you better hurry and improve, because I don't plan to stay Hokage for more than a decade. As you are, you're not looking like a very promising successor. I know, I know, I believe you, but you have to look at things my way. You're lagging behind all your peers. Accuracy, ninjutsu, taijutsu, academic knowledge… you're not very good at any of them. Yet instead of trying to catch up to your classmates, you're spending your time playing pranks on people. That doesn't look very responsible."

Naruto's face twisted itself into a sour expression. Sarutobi suspected he wouldn't get an explanation for the boy's bad performance. He found it hard to believe Naruto's problem was laziness, but how else could he explain his abysmal scores? He wasn't abused, Sarutobi was sure of that – while there were certain… incidents… when he was younger, Sarutobi's vicious executions of anyone bold enough to attack the boy physically dissuaded potential assassins and thugs. Now, as if in protest against not being able to hurt the boy, people just ignored Naruto as best as they could. Which wasn't all that easy when you're dealing with a loud, orange-clad kid practically bouncing off the walls with barely contained energy.

"Yeah, I know," said Naruto finally, rubbing the back of his head and chuckling nervously. Sarutobi was honestly surprised – Naruto had never before admitted that his performance is unsatisfactory in any manner. "I'll get better, I promise."

Sarutobi wanted to say something, but he knew he did enough damage. His appetite lost, Naruto proclaimed he had enough ramen and disappeared as fast as he could without appearing like he's running away. Sarutobi wished he brought that subject up on some other meeting, not on the boy's birthday. And after the boy had finished eating. He had expected Naruto to deny the accusations with all his breath and press on, not this. It seems the stream of constant failures was finally getting to the kid.

Watching at the corner behind which Naruto disappeared, Sarutobi cursed Minato for the mess he left him with, and his two best students for running off like emotional teenagers. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

With a sigh, Sarutobi paid for the meal and started walking back to his tower. Hopefully, Naruto would overcome whatever problems held him back and make something of himself.

Hope. That's all he could do for the boy right now.

- break -

Naruto walked into his apartment with a sigh of relief. Even though he only treated his apartment as a place to sleep and a storeroom for his bulkier belongings, he was glad he had the place. It was rather calming to be here, secondly only to sitting on one of the Ichiraku's stools. His apartment might be a dump, with cracks running through the walls, a broken window repaired with duct-tape, hit-and-miss utilities, and a million other imperfections, but it was _his_. There was something comforting in that fact. In the orphanage he had to make a scene whenever he wanted something to be done, but now that he had an apartment all to himself he can shower when he feels dirty, eat when he's hungry, and get clothes for himself without them mysteriously disappearing.

But his mood wasn't particularly upbeat. Even the Old Man thought he was a failure; that had really struck a nerve. Being told you're doing badly by a jerk like Iruka is one thing, and altogether another to have that pointed out to you by someone whose opinion you hold in very high regard. He knew that in the end he would make the Old Man proud by becoming the best ninja ever, but that didn't make the meantime any more pleasant.

He went to the bathroom to get a nice calming shower, but the water still wasn't back. He'll have to nag the land-lord again. He went by the window, inspecting the potted plants he 'rescued' from the dumpsters around the city. He was slowly nursing them back to health, but they were still sickly-looking. Without a second thought, he took his last bottle of water and distributed it to the thirsty greenery. They need it more than he does.

What exactly was he supposed to do? Nobody wanted to spar with him, everyone always called him stupid when he asked questions, and he was sick trying to get the clone jutsu to work. The instructors never helped him unless he was being a total ass, and even then they just told him what he was doing wrong, never how to fix it. He was reduced to overhearing advice given to other students and doing his best to apply it to himself.

Maybe he could work on accuracy? It's not like you need to know some deep secrets about how to throw a kunai. Yes, that could definitely work!

He quickly found his kunai bag and left for his super-secret training ground. He would practice his throwing till the sun sets down, and by tomorrow he'd be the best in class! He'll be better than Sasuke-teme, and then Sakura-chan will like him. He chuckled to himself as he added details to his fantasy. Yes, that's _exactly_ how it's going to be.

He was rudely wrenched out of his fantasies when he came to his training ground and found it taken. Well, not exactly _taken_. The training ground was big enough for dozens of people, and the two of them could comfortably use this one without bothering each other. And the other person wasn't exactly _rude_. He or she was just sitting in the shade of the tree, reading a book. And the training ground wasn't really _his_. Legally speaking, it was just abandoned. _But_…

Naruto cautiously approached, and the identity of the intruder became more defined. It was Red, as Naruto came to think of him, the red-headed teenager who's shop he van- uh, _decorated_ a week ago. Not really someone Naruto wanted to meet again. Naruto approached with mild apprehension, but Red appeared totally oblivious to Naruto's presence, serene expression plastered on his face. No greeting, no remarks, no nothing.

Naruto debated internally whether to say something and initiate conversation, but decided against it. It wasn't the first time he'd gotten silent treatment and besides… he kind of deserved it this case.

So Naruto did the same thing the red-headed teen did – he ignored the other's presence. He took a kunai out of his bag and started abusing the targets in the distance.

He did it for hours. He threw kunai after kunai, again and again, switched to shuriken and back to kunai again, until his shoulder was sore and he accidentally slashed his pinky. He wasn't getting any better. The blasted things missed, weered off their intended flight path, and bounced off targets. By the time the noon sun shone directly on the training ground, Naruto was sick of it all, his enthusiasm completely sapped. He kicked the remaining kunai and called them stupid, but found that inanimate objects were unmoved by his insults. Dragging his feet and pouting to himself, he flopped down under the nearby tree.

He just couldn't understand what the problem was. He couldn't really be that bad, could he?

Suddenly, Red got up from his tree, picking up Naruto's scattered shuriken and kunai, turning them in his hand and inspecting them. Naruto observed him with intense interest but didn't say anything. When the older boy suddenly began walking towards him, Naruto stood up to face him on equal ground.

"Your weapons are of very poor quality," began the red-head. "They're too soft, improperly sharpened and poorly balanced. Whoever sold you these cheated you. You'll never get better as long as you use them. They're not even good for training."

For several seconds, Naruto's mind was blank. He tried processing this knew knowledge but it just didn't mesh with his accepted worldview. The merchant who sold him those was so _nice_! Nice people don't do stuff like that, do they? He couldn't have possibly _meant_ to sell him faulty merchandise…

'_Whoever sold you these cheated you.'_

There was no ambiguity in that sentence, no straw that Naruto's mind could grasp for in order to interpret it in a positive way. Naruto hanged his head. And he paid premium price for those too…

"I can't get any better ones," Naruto stated.

"Why not?" asked the Red in a curious tone.

Naruto's mind exploded in anger. Why not indeed? He could confront the clerk about this, couldn't he? He could hand them him to the Old Man, couldn't he? But he already knew the answer. He didn't like it, but deep down he was aware of it.

"The shop owners don't like me," said Naruto, locking eyes with the stranger. That was it, really. It's not just that they didn't respect him or refused to acknowledge his existence. They actively disliked him. They were going out of his way to inconvenience him, and him alone. They would continue to do so no matter what he did.

"After our clash that night," said Red, wrenching Naruto from his thoughts, "I took it upon myself to find out what I can about you. You are a very… notorious person, Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto's face fell. Here we go; one more person who heard the stories about him and decided they don't want to be anywhere near him. He should just pick up his stuff and walk away, but… Oh what the hell.

"You bet! Everyone knows about me! I am Uzumaki Naruto - Konoha's number one prankster and the future Hokage!"

"I see," the other boy didn't change his expression, not for a moment. "Well Naruto, if the shop owners won't let you buy proper equipment, how about you let me buy it for you?"

Naruto's face shifted into his patented foxy grin. This guy wasn't so bad after all.


	2. Innocence Lost

Naruto jumped in the air, punching the sky.

"Four out of ten, a new record!"

Well, for him at least. Red was right, everything was so much easier with his new kunai and shuriken! He made a mental note to prank the asshole shopkeepers that sold him that crap. Multiple times.

"Say, say, Red… are you a ninja?"

The red-headed teenager seemed to mull it over for a second, which confused Naruto immensely. How hard can it be to answer a question like that? Either you are or you aren't!

"I am an artist," he said finally.

"Huh?"

"I'm not a ninja, no."

"Oh," said Naruto, disappointment evident in his voice. He brightened quickly however, not wanting to insult his new friend. "No matter, you're still okay as far as I'm concerned. So how do know so much about weapons?"

"I am a shop owner of a shop dealing in ninja supplies. I believe we established that on our first meeting."

"Oh. Right. Anyway, you must have talked to a lot of ninja, then."

"I have."

Naruto was ecstatic. He finally had someone to talk to! Old Man was busy all the time, Teuchi and Ayame weren't into ninja stuff, and he didn't really have anyone else to nag. He proceeded to bombard Red with every question he could think of. Initially he wanted to get as much as he can out of him before the older teen decides he tolerated Naruto's presence long enough, but two hours later it became clear that Red had inexhaustible patience. Even Ayame couldn't put up with him for that long.

But Naruto decided not to push his luck. He'll be patient and ask him more some other time. He can be patient when he wants to. Really, he can! Plenty of days available. Now that he thought about it…

"Hey Red, can we meet tomorrow here?"

"Yes."

"Your parents won't mind?"

"My parents are dead, Naruto. We established that on our second meeting. Is your memory really that faulty or is it simply not worth your time to memorize simple personal details about me?"

Naruto froze. "No! No it's just… I sort of didn't pay attention then."

Red's eyes narrowed.

"Wait! That didn't turn out right. I meant to say… I mean… it won't happen again, I promise! Red, ninja store owner, parents dead. See? I remember."

"Good," said Red icily. "I have no intention on talking to people who don't bother to listen. My time is valuable."

"I listen, I listen," protested Naruto. "Jeez, I forget one detail and you're already on my case. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow then! You won't be sorry for helping me! You'll see, I'm going to be the next Hokage and-"

"Will you give it a rest already?" said Red. "You want to be Hokage, I get it. You told me that 27 times already. I counted. Must I resort to drastic measures to make you stop?"

Naruto puffed in annoyance. His new friend didn't seem to care much for his heartfelt proclamations. He didn't get annoyed with him like everyone else, but he didn't share his enthusiasm either. He was just… there.

It was enough.

- break -

"…and then he screamed at me for 5 minutes because I couldn't name the 5 major elemental nations. Can you believe that?"

"Yes," said Red flatly. "It's common knowledge. 5-year-olds know it: Fire, Earth, Wind, Water, and Lightning. If I were the instructor I would have brought the world map into the classroom and anyone who couldn't name every single nation on it, major and minor, would be thrown out of the academy."

Naruto stared at Red in disbelief. This… wasn't the reaction he expected.

"But… how am I supposed to know that? Nobody tells me anything!"

"Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"Can you name the 5 major elemental nations _now_?"

Naruto opened his mouth but caught himself – his usual bullshit responses to these sorts of questions tended to piss Red off. He stayed silent, trying to understand why Red asked him that.

"I just told you their names less than a minute ago," said Red after a few seconds of silence. "It's 5 measly words. Name them."

Naruto wracked his mind but he just couldn't remember. He didn't pay attention.

"Nobody tells you anything because you don't bother listening," Red said finally, breaking the uncomfortable silence. He rose from the ground and dusted himself off.

"Where are you going?" asked Naruto in a panicked voice.

"Home. I think we should take a week-long break from our meetings."

Naruto paled. "But why!"

Red gave him an icy look. "I am sick of saying things to you only to have to repeat them again a mere hour later. You don't appear to be listening to a word I say, so I don't see why you need me anyway. If you're not interested in hearing what other people have to say, you might as well talk to a rock."

"No it wouldn't!" protested Naruto. "I listen and all, it's just…"

"…and let's not even mention you alleged sense of humor," continued Red.

"Oh come on!" Naruto protested. "You know that was funny!"

"Things like that are funny for all of five minutes, then they become annoying."

"Well fine, I'll stop being funny! You happy now!"

"No change there, you were _never_ funny. That was my whole point. But anyway, now we come to an especially grating part of your personality – your tardiness. You were 30 minutes late today – that's the second time in 4 days that you left me waiting."

"I told you, my alarm-clock is faulty!" protested Naruto.

"Then replace it," said Red. "I hate waiting and making people wait. I came on time and I expect you to return the favor. In any case, all these things are just specific symptoms of your general inability to take things seriously. We're taking a break from our meetings and I suggest you put some thought into your attitude towards me, because as it is I see no point in spending time with you."

Naruto watched as Red walked away, his mind blank. These past 4 days were some of the best he had. He finally had someone willing to listen to him. Someone who didn't ridicule him. Much. Someone who didn't find him annoying. Well, _intolerably_ annoying.

He didn't understand what the big deal was. Just because he didn't know the names of those 5 nations Red lost it? That was one thing he didn't like about Red – he didn't play by the rules. Naruto knew how to deal with most people. Red just didn't fit. There was no ready-made responses Naruto could marshal. As he thought about it all for the next hour, sitting unmoving in the training ground where his red-headed friend left him, Naruto finally understood what was it that the blonde found so uncomfortable about Red when he first met him.

Red made him _think_. There was no other way to deal with people who didn't behave like they're supposed to, after all.

The trouble was that Naruto wasn't very good at thinking.

But if he _didn't_ think, Red would stop meeting with him. So he sat. And waited.

And thought.

- break -

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'll get better, I promise."

"Hmph."

Naruto was now getting annoyed. He apologized, didn't he? He was sorry, wasn't he? He promised he would get better, _didn't he_! So what the hell was this all about?

"Geez, I apologize and everything and you're still beaing a jerk," said Naruto. "Why is everyone always on my case, anyway?"

"It's hard to believe in the sincerity of your apologies, because you're such a rude and irresponsible _child_," said Red, putting a special emphasis on 'child', clearly aware how much Naruto hated to be reffered to as such.

"I'm not any of those things!" shouted Naruto, pointing at Red with his outstretched finger. "I bet you can't name even one event where I…"

"Naruto," Red said suddenly, the seriousness stopping Naruto in his tracks, "do you know what my name is?"

Naruto stared blankly at his red-headed friend. "Your… name?"

"Not a difficult question to grasp," said Red. "Taking into account your baffled expression and your habit of reffering to me as 'Red', I will assume you're just trying to buy for time and that you don't, in fact, know what my name is. Am I correct?"

Naruto simply looked towards the ground as a response.

"I know your name is Uzumaki Naruto," Red continued. "I knew this since our very first meeting. Yet even after several days of meeting with me, you don't want to know what my name is."

"It's not true! I want-"

"It's Sasori, by the way."

"Sasori…" repeated Naruto feebly.

"Not asking for people's names and giving them random nicknames instead is rude and inconsiderate. It also makes it hard for people to understand you, since only you know what these nicknames reffer to. I've lost count of the number of times you've dropped 'smoke-stack', 'pinapple-head', 'bastard', or 'old man' into your monologues. How am I supposed to know who these people are?"

"Well that's easy," said Naruto. "Smoke-stack is…"

"It doesn't matter. Are you going to explain this to everyone you talk to? People have names for a reason."

"Okay, okay, I get it."

"Your dismissive tone says otherwise. Do you honestly think people can't tell when you're taking them seriously and when you're just trying to blow them off? If you don't want to work on yourself, at least be upfront about it so people aren't tempted to waste time on giving you advice."

"Well," Naruto began, flustered and irritated. "Maybe if people actually gave me advice about things I wanted to know about, I would actually listen!"

"That would be a terrible way to teach anything," said Sasori. "People generally want novelty and neat tricks - something exciting and interesting. Useful advice tends to be dull, tedious, and familiar. They've heard it all before, and it sounded like a lot of hard work and self-discipline. Case in point, I noticed you've stopped practicing your accuracy since our first meeting."

"Oh, that. Well, I figured since I'm a lot better now I should…"

"…stop bothering and coast by on a least amount of effort?" offered Sasori.

Naruto frowned. "Who cares about the stupid kunai, anyway? I want to learn cool jutsu, anyway!"

"And who's going to teach you these cool jutsu?"

"Uh..."

"That's right – no one. The worst thing about it all is that you have the gall to talk about how you're going to be at the top of your class by the time you graduate. You don't get to be at the top of your class just by knowing 'cool jutsu'. So instead of putting some effort in your free time and getting well-rounded skills, you're waiting for some mythical 'cool jutsu' that will let you compensate for your lack of practice."

Naruto wanted to say something, he really did, but Sasori's words really hit home for Naruto. He didn't know why, but he felt just awful after being chewed out by Sasori like that. Not awful like he felt when the villages put him down for no reason – that just made him angry and irritable – but the sort of awful where he felt like _shit_.

"So, um… what do you think I should do about all this?"

- break -

Practicing was a chore, but Naruto had to admit it was working – after two weeks of practicing his accuracy every day, he was already capable of hitting 80% of the targets. He was so excited the first time he did that, but Sasori merely told him to keep going at it until he can hit them all, consistently, and that maybe he should increase the distance to make it more challenging.

Naruto was annoyed at the time. Annoyed that Sasori didn't praise him for his achievement, annoyed that he was told to make things even harder now, and annoyed that he was ready to call it quits after a minor success like that. He didn't like acknowledging criticisms, but Sasori was definitely right about one thing – Naruto didn't work nearly hard enough. He knew this because he had been stalking Sasuke around for the past week, and had seen his rival's training regimen. Even discounting the fact that Sasuke had personal trainers, he practiced far harder than Naruto did. And Naruto would never let Sasuke win.

If defeating that bastard meant practicing every day, then so be it.

But that was neither here nor there – Sasori had invited him to his store, and Naruto would be damned to miss an opportunity like this. He had always wanted to take a good look at the various stuff ninja stores were selling, but he never really had a good enough excuse to linger around. Ninja store owners tended to be leery of costumers that stayed inside longer than necessary, and being Uzumaki Naruto didn't help.

He cautiously entered the store, only to find Sasori lazily looking at him from behind the counter. True to its purpose, the store was filled with weaponry, backpacks, armguards, explosive notes… all sorts of ninja equipment. Naruto looked around like a kid in the candy-store.

"Sasori?"

"Yes?"

"Can I… check them out?"

"Anything except explosive notes."

Naruto let out a victory cry and ran around, inspecting the weapons and equipment on display. Sasori's store was a high-end one if the price-tags were of any indication. Normally he wouldn't even be allowed inside a store like this. He stopped swinging an ink black kunai, thinking about it, before asking Sasori about it.

"Sasori, I thought stores like this don't allow non-ninja inside?"

"Not as costumers, no."

"Oh," said Naruto. "I get it – it's alright for me to be here as long as you don't sell me anything. I'm fine with that, I don't have the money to but this stuff anyway."

He spent a full hour darting around, before he realized it was unwise to keep Sasori waiting so long. The older boy was a nice person at heart, but only as long as Naruto threaded carefully around him. He wasn't someone you could take for granted.

"So, um…" began Naruto. "What now? You said you wanted to talk to me about something."

"I have a job offer for you."

That… was unexpected. He stared blankly at Sasori, who simply returned his gaze in silence.

"A job?" said Naruto incredulously. "What kind of job?"

"Paperwork, mostly."

"Paperwork!" asked Naruto, as if Sasori asked him to swallow a live centipede. "Why would I want to do _that_!"

"You say you want to be Hokage, correct?"

"Yeah!"

"Being Hokage means reading reports, assigning missions, handling supply logistics, that sort of thing. In other words, paperwork. Think of it as training for being Hokage."

"When I become Hokage, I'll ban paperwork," said Naruto matter-of-factly.

"And the second reason is that I'll be paying you 500 ryo a month," remarked Sasori casually.

Naruto's objections collapsed in his throat, leaving him speechless. 500 ryo a month? For paperwork? That was a lot of money.

"Sasori… I can't accept that. That's way too much money you'd be paying me…"

"Fine, then you get 10 ryo."

"What! How do you get from 500 to 10!"

"It's a life lesson. Offer someone a finger and they'll take your whole arm. Now that I know you'd be willing to work for less than 500, it's time to see just _how_ low."

Naruto glared at Sasori. "Yeah, well… now I refuse to accept the job for less than 600 ryo! What now, huh!"

"Deal. Wait here while I go get today's stack."

Naruto tried to mentally digest what just happened here. Did he just accept to do paperwork, of all things! As Sasori returned with a huge stack of paper, Naruto concluded that yes, he did. He considered arguing about it, but 600 ryo… he could use that money. He could finally get some decent gear, buy new pots for his plants (maybe some new plants too!), get the window fixed, eat more often at Ichiraku's… lot's of things!

"So um… what do I do exactly?"

"Review orders and letters I got in the past week, do an inventory of all the merchandise and order new shipments of needed items…"

"You trust me to do things like that?"

"Of course."

"Wow. So what happens if I make a mistake somewhere? I've never done anything like this in my life. Like, what if I order a bunch of useless shuriken or something?"

"The losses get taken out of your salary, of course."

"What!"

"It's only fair. Now get to work. I'll be helping you for the first few weeks to see if you're any good."

Naruto just couldn't understand Sasori. He just gave a 10-year-old a task of doing something this important. What kind of person does something so… uh, stupid? No, of course it wasn't stupid! Sasori just saw how awesome he is, the first in the line of many that realized his greatness! Besides, the red-head didn't look that much older than Naruto, and he was presumably handling it himself up until now.

It was harder than it looked. He was never all that good at reading, and the documents used all sorts of fancy terms, but he had Sasori looking behind his shoulder and helping so he persisted. He couldn't quit now that Sasori had placed to much faith in him – it would be admitting failure and he couldn't have that. Sometimes, Sasori would want to know why he chose to do this and not that, and prodded Naruto for explanations. Naruto was kind of pissed at that, because it was obvious that he did something wrong and Sasori, instead of telling him what it is, would insist on trying to make him think of the answer on his own. What was it with Sasori and thinking, anyway?

When they got to the numbers, Naruto nearly had a seizure, until he realized it's nothing like math in the academy. This was mostly simple addition and subtraction, not the weird math where you swap letters and numbers. But it was still boring, so he could definitely see why Sasori didn't want to do it himself.

"That's enough," said Sasori finally. "I'll be closing for today."

"Whew! I can see why Old Man hates this stuff so much."

Naruto blinked as Sasori threw a stack of bills and a small book in front of him.

"That's 300 ryo. You'll get the other 300 at the end of the month."

"You know, I can't be here all the time. I'm still a student at the ninja academy."

"That's fine. You're not needed all the time. Come whenever you're free – as long as you don't let the paperwork pile up, I don't care about the amount of time you devote to it."

Naruto picked up the book and looked Sasori in a silent question.

"It's an action novel," said Sasori casually. "I though you might like it."

Naruto suppressed the urge to snort. Reading? For fun? He'd sooner drive nails into his fingers. But it was a gift from Sasori so he would keep it out of consideration. He found a pocket on the inside of his jumpsuit and placed the book inside before promptly forgetting about it.

Over all, the day wasn't the sort of thing he was expecting. Somewhat dazed from the experience, Naruto trudged off towards his apartment, mulling about today's event in his head. His life kept getting more and more interesting ever since he met Sasori.

But that was a good thing.

- break -

Sasori was a little too optimistic. It took Naruto 3 whole months till he got the hang on his job, and Sasori was curiously understanding of Naruto's difficulties. The red-head was always willing to answer questions and help Naruto out. As long as Naruto actually listened, that is. Sasori seemed to have a sixth sense when someone is tuning him out. Gradually, Naruto came to rely on Sasori for all sorts of things, seeking out the older boy's advice when in doubt – Sasori was a lot more approachable than the Old Man, and a lot less cryptic as well. Even though Naruto often didn't like what Sasori had to say, he still respected the red-head. Unlike everyone else, who either ignored him or called him stupid for asking things that 'everyone knows', Sasori took him seriously.

Though that's not to say that Sasori went easy on him…

"Man, that Sasuke is-"

"Will you shut up about Sasuke? Or Sakura for that matter. I don't care."

Naruto cringed. Sasori didn't raise his tone, but his annoyance was obvious in his every word.

"I'm just bothered by him. Everyone likes him so much just because he's an Uchiha," Naruto mumbled. "It's not fair. He doesn't even care about any of them."

"You don't care about your classmates either."

"What do you mean!" Naruto screetched mutinously. "I care-"

"-about Sasuke and Sakura. Everyone else is beneath your notice. If you mention them at all, you dismiss them as 'stupid' or 'weird'. With an attitude like that it's no wonder I'm your only friend."

If this wasn't Sasori's usual manner of speech, Naruto would have been insulted. As it is, he just resisted the urge to scream at his red-headed friend. Sasori didn't care. Every time Naruto started screaming about something Sasori just told him to stop being a child, and Naruto would feel like the biggest idiot in the world. So instead he took several deep breaths and locked eyes with Sasori.

"They. Don't. Like. Me."

"Neither do Sasuke and Sakura."

Naruto gritted his teeth. Sasori just didn't understand. Sakura was… _is_ his friend. When they were little she was an outcast like him, all the other children teasing her about her _forehead_, of all things. Forehead! Her forehead was beautiful. So he helped her out one day, and they played games in the park together. She was nice to him. It went on for a week, until she came to him one day and told him her parents won't let her play with him anymore. And then she found a new friend in Ino, and they started obsessing about Sasuke and… and he was left behind alone. Again.

She didn't even remember him anymore, but Naruto couldn't let it go. They were so alike, even now. Her 'friend' Ino broke up with her over Sasuke, the rest of the class mocked her behind her back, and Sasuke wouldn't give her time of day. Yet she persisted. That sort of determination was just like his own, and he respected her for it. He's the only one who respected her, the only one who believed in her. Why can't she see that!

"What does she see in Sasuke?" he asked.

Sasori continued scribbling on the pieces of paper scattered on the table. "He is rich, handsome, extraordinarily gifted, comes from a prestigious family, and has a tragic past that strikes a chord in people's hearts."

"He's a cold-hearted bastard."

"Or alternatively, he has a wounded heart just waiting for that special girl whose love can heal it. A lot of people are suckers for broken birds."

"Girls are stupid, then."

"Congratulations, Naruto – you just made a sentence that is both hypocritical and sexist with only 4 words."

"What? What do you mean?"

"If there's anything I learned from your endless soliloquies about Sakura, it's that you think she's broken and that you're that special someone who can fix her."

Naruto denied that until he run out of breath. How could Sasori even suggest that! Sakura wasn't broken, she just had a few rough edges that needed to be smoothed out. But she was perfect otherwise.

"If you love someone for what they could be, instead of for what they are, you obviously think there is something wrong with them," countered Sasori. "If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only guy who's like that. That particular tendency transcends gender boundaries. A lot of people think they have what it takes to 'fix' people and bring out the nugget of gold hidden underneath. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they bite more than they can chew, and some people are not worth fixing. Be careful of burning too many bridges to reach your precious Sakura."

"What bridges? I ain't got any bridges to burn, Sasori."

"And you never will, if you continue to act this way. I doubt anyone will want to be around you if you keep obessing about Sasuke and Sakura. Not everyone is as… _tolerant_, and I am."

Naruto scowled at him. Sasori, tolerant? Yeah right.

"All right… what do you think I should do, then?"

"Talk to your other classmates. Give them a chance if they're not openly hostile. Are there any other outcasts beside yourself? People dismissed by the rest of your classmates are your best bet. They have the least to lose by associating with you. And for the love of Kami, don't mention Sasuke or Sakura to them. There must be something, _anything_ you can talk to them about beside that. Even ramen will do."

Naruto furrowed his brow in concentration. Truth be told, he tried approaching everyone in class and found them all to be either dismissive, hostile, or avoidant of him. He could think of only one person that didn't have an immediate adverse reaction to him, and he definitely wasn't popular…

"Well, there is that silent weirdo that always wears sunglasses…"

"No."

"Yeah, he's kinda creepy…"

"That's not what I meant. I meant you shouldn't refer to him as a 'weirdo'. He has a name, I presume?"

"Ah! Y-yeah… Shino. Aheh."

- break -

There aren't a lot of things that could leave Aburame Shino confused, but when Uzumaki Naruto approached him during the lunch break he was truly stumped for an explanation. At first he was guarded – the blonde was infamous for his pranks, causing Shino to wrack his brain in an attempt to spot one coming. Or at least come up with a reason for being targeted. He had noticed that the blonde didn't really choose his victims at random - that the person being pranked always provoked him somehow. Though Uzumaki seemed to have a very trigger-happy definition of 'provocation'. He could think of nothing he did to provoke the blonde, seeing how they never really interacted, but who knows what thoughts dwell in the mind of someone as illogical as Uzumaki Naruto?

But no prank ever came. Naruto politely introduced himself, without excess shouting and without a single mention of how he was going to become Hokage. This set off all sorts of alarms in Shino's head, as it was untypical to the boy's general attitude, but still he found no reason for his paranoia. After hearing Shino's curt introduction in return, Naruto sat down beside him and began talking.

The first day he simply asked Shino simple questions: meanings of certain words, requests for clarifications of academy material, inconsequential things. At first Shino suspected he was being tested in some manner, but quickly discarded that theory – the blonde truly didn't know the answers to these questions, simple as they may be. Though he felt Uzumaki should have already known these things, it was in his nature to respond concisely and accurately. That Naruto didn't mock his style of speech definitely earned the blonde some points in Shino's book, however.

If this was all there was to it, Shino would have dismissed it as an isolated curiosity, but Naruto was back tomorrow. This time he didn't ask questions – after exchanging greetings he just sat down beside him and spent his break mostly in silence. He did make a few off-hand remarks, but nothing that merited a response in Shino's opinion.

He was back the next day. And the next. And the next.

Sometimes he asked questions, sometimes he talked about things, sometimes he just sat beside Shino in silence. He didn't talk about being Hokage, didn't mention Uchiha Sasuke or Haruno Sakura. Instead, Naruto talked about the Academy and his thoughts about the material taught in it, about the challenges he faced in living alone, and about his favorite places to go to in Konoha. Shino listened to it all, tranfixed by the cheerful voice of Naruto as he explained Shino the best way to get by if you lose your utilities for a few weeks. It wasn't that it was so terribly interesting – it was quite mundane actually – it was just the combination of Shino's ingrained tendency to listen attentively no matter what, and the fact that Naruto's life was so unlike anything he ever imagined. Naruto's world was almost surreal – an empty world in which his only contact with people was a meeting with the Hokage once a month and an occasional interaction with the teachers and students in the academy. He didn't live in an orphanage, as Shino would have suspected – he lived alone in his own apartment, doing his own chores. He worked at a ninja supplies store to get some side-cash because his orphan stipend was barely enough for him to get by. He had no friends his own age and seemed to lack knowledge most people took for granted, having learned it from their parents and peers as young children. In light of this, his abysmal performance in the academy didn't seem so strange.

Uzumaki Naruto possessed a depth that Shino would have never suspected. What's more, Shino suspected that he was the first person Naruto told this to. This sort of gesture of trust was rather moving to the Aburame, and he found himself compelled to share some facts of himself in return. Which led to an uncomfortable realisation.

Shino found himself strangely reluctant to reveal his kikai to Naruto. Due to his social isolation, Naruto was probably the only person in the class who didn't know about them. Would Naruto have approached him if he knew he houses a colony of insects in his body? He had grown to like the blonde over the last few days, and the thought of his potential friend leaving in disgust was mildly upsetting. Of course, he had no intention of being a friend to someone who couldn't tolerate his allies, and his father had already talked him about other people's reaction to his kikai at great length, but he still felt reluctant.

But since Shino was a man of logic and not instict, he broke the subject to Naruto.

He had gotten a lot of reactions to his kikai in the past, but _'That's so cool!'_ was not one of them.

- break -

As weeks went by, Naruto came to a startling realization: Sasori was not only interesting but educational as well. He always knew that Sasori was knowledgeable about ninja but man, did he knew a lot! Almost as much as Sakura! And unlike her he didn't hit him when he asked questions, not even really stupid ones like 'what is chakra'.

Once he decided he would take advantage of Sasori to actually learn something in a systematic fashion, Naruto started carrying a scroll with him at all times. Whenever he didn't understand something he wrote it down so he can remember to ask Sasori later.

Suddenly, everything made so much more sense, and he was no longer the only one who didn't get it. He knew all major clans in Konoha and quite a few of them from other ninja villages; he could name all nations and their major cities, and point to them on a map; he knew what chakra is and what are the strengths and weakness of 5 basic elements; he could list the abilities of every major bloodline and clan from around the elemental nations. Some of that was not required knowledge by the academy, but Sasori told him it was an embarrassment for a ninja to not know these things, and if Sasori said he should know it, Naruto was inclined to listen. It wasn't much really, but for the first time in his life he didn't feel like an utter idiot when listening to academy lectures.

And since Sasori was so much more interesting and educational than Academy instructors, Naruto tried to skip classes to learn from Sasori…

…which earned him a visit from the Hokage.

"Hello, Naruto. Care to go to Ichiraku's with me? My treat."

Naruto looked at the Old Man standing in front of him. The Hokage wanted to talk to him about something, probably about his lack of attendance at the Academy. Damn you Iruka, what did I ever do to you!

"Sure!" he said cheerfully. "Ichiraku, here we come!"

They chatted on the way to the stand, but Naruto wasn't fooled by the Old Man's pleasant demeanor. He wanted to know something. He would stuff him full of ramen and then swoop in with questions afterwards. Naruto didn't mind. As far as interrogation procedures go, that one was okay. He knew that if that didn't work, the Old Man would use the stick part of the 'carrot and the stick' method. Naruto couldn't afford to be on the Hokage's bad side, and they both knew it.

After a loud greeting with Teuchi and Ayame, Naruto began devouring his ramen, taking full advantage of Old Man's generosity. He must have had 10 bowls by the end of it, but he wasn't counting. Finally, a minute after he declined another bowl from Ayame, the Old Man spoke.

"Iruka tells me you're skipping classes."

"Iruka is always complaining about me. I was sick."

"I can always tell when you're lying, Naruto."

"Sick of his classes, that is."

Old Man sighed. "I thought you'd try harder. Isn't that what you told me?"

"But I am trying!" complained Naruto. "Didn't you look at my scores? I got way better, didn't I?"

Old Man nodded solemnly. "Which is strange, you'll admit. How exactly are you getting better by skipping class? Your accuracy improvement is particularly rapid, almost like you were holding back before."

"I wasn't holding back. The shopkeepers sold me defective kunai so they weren't flying straight and tended to bounce off when they hit. I bought new ones and now I'm getting better."

For a few moments, the Hokage seemed at loss for words. "I'm… sorry to hear that, Naruto. I promise you, if you give me the name of those shopkeepers I'll-"

"That's okay Old Man, I don't want to cause trouble."

"For me, you mean?" asked Sarutobi with a small smile, his eyes closed.

"Eheh… I overhear people. They don't like you hanging out with me. If you start messing with shopkeepers for me, you'll get both of us in trouble. I'm sure they'll get what they deserve."

The Hokage smirked, looking at Naruto in mirth. "You mean you're going to prank them?"

Naruto merely chuckled deviously and rubbed his hands together.

"So how do you get the shopkeepers to sell you honest equipment now?" the Old Man asked.

"I just pay more attention to what I'm buying now," said Naruto with a shrug.

It wasn't a lie. Before, he didn't actually _know_ he was getting cheated. The shopkeepers told him they were selling him 'special' kunai, which he assumed meant extra-cool. He resisted the urge to scowl at how idiotic he's been.

"What about the written test? You actually scored higher than Shikamaru this time. Iruka was quite surprised."

Naruto frowned. Why was Old Man so fixated on Iruka? It's true that Iruka had become better than he was at the beginning, but that's hardly saying much. The day before the exam Iruka had reminded him, and only him, about the upcoming test, much to the mirth of the entire class. If he had really cared about him, he could have done that after class, instead of humiliating him in front of Sakura and others. And even if Iruka is somewhat okay, he's only one teacher among dozen.

"Old Man, do you know why every Hyuuga has those freaky eyes of theirs?"

Sarutobi blinked. "Of course, the byakugan-"

"I didn't, up until two week ago. Nobody saw fit to answer me when I asked."

Naruto met the Old Man's eyes, but he couldn't decipher what the expression on Hokage's face meant. He never knew how much he should tell the Old Man – the Hokage had enough of his own problems, and Naruto was never very good with words anyway.

"Naruto, I'm not sure I understand," the Hokage said carefully.

"When I started with the Academy, I could barely read properly and I didn't know a lot of things everyone took for granted. And every teacher, including your precious Iruka, ignored me no matter what I did."

"Iruka-"

"-is several years too late," fired Naruto back immediately. "How am I supposed to understand what he's talking about when he actively sabotaged me when we were learning fundamentals?"

Old Man was looking somewhere in the distance, seemingly ignoring Naruto. He remained silent for a few seconds.

"So what's behind the improvement, then? Did you find yourself a new teacher?"

"No," said Naruto firmly. It wasn't a lie. Sasori was a friend, not a teacher. "I just ask people until someone tells me the answer."

That someone being Sasori. Whenever someone brushes him off when he asks for an answer, Naruto marks it down in his scroll and waits till his next meeting with his red-headed friend.

It was also good as an intimidation tactic – academy instructors got a lot more cooperative once he started whipping out his scroll in front of them every time they ignored him. Everyone seemed to assume he was marking down infractions against him.

Naruto felt somewhat bad for keeping secrets from the Old Man, but the Hokage tended to be rather jumpy in these kinds of matters, and Sasori made a really convincing argument that they shouldn't flaunt the fact that they're friends unless it's necessary to let someone know. That way Naruto's stigma won't attach itself to Sasori as well, and no uncomfortable questions will be asked.

"Iruka will be relieved to hear that."

"Okay Old Man, spill it – what's so special about Iruka? You keep dropping him into conversations, like I'm supposed to figure something out. You know I'm too stupid for that."

"You're not stupid Naruto," said the Hokage with a sigh. "And I doubt you really think so little of yourself, either. But my point is, Iruka likes you. He wants to help you, and you're not letting him. I know he had some reservations about you in the beginning but-"

"If by 'reservations' you mean that he hated my guts…"

"Yes, I suppose that's one way to interpret it."

"…and now he suddenly cares about me oh so much. So what changed? Not me."

"Actually, you've been acting strangely in the past month. Too quiet, and only one prank. It makes people nervous as they wonder what you're planning."

"That's not what I mean. Why does everyone either hate me or fear me on sight? Why do I always have to prove to people I'm not a demon or something?"

The Hokage recoiled as if struck, a sight that Naruto only saw once when it came to Old Man.

"Naruto… you're not a demon. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Naruto looked at his elderly benefactor in confusion. He could tell that the Old Man knew something that he didn't want to tell Naruto. For that matter, everyone seemed to know it. Except for him. He wished there was someone he could ask. Someone who would not keep this apparently very important secret from him. Someone…

Ignoring the strange looks he was getting from the Old Man, Naruto took out his scroll in a practiced movement and furiously scribbled 'why does everyone hate me?' in the next row. If there was anyone who would be willing to tell him, it was Sasori.

"May I see?" the Old Man asked. Naruto gave it a quick thought. If he said no, the Hokage might get suspicious, and Naruto didn't want him looking too closely into him. And it's not like there was anything incriminating on that scroll. He handed it to the Hokage, who studied it wordlessly.

"You do know you're supposed to go to Iruka if you have questions like these?"

"If I could understand Iruka's explanations, I wouldn't need to write these down," answered Naruto.

The Old Man sighed, signaling that he's giving up on that train of thought. "Fair enough, but I can tell you right now that you won't get an answer on the last question from anyone."

"What? Why not!"

Sandaime locked his gaze with that of Naruto. "Because I forbade anyone to even talk about it, much less tell you outright, under the threat of death."

Naruto's face fell. He felt betrayed. The Old Man Hokage, the person he idolized, is the one who forbid people to talk to him?

"Why!" he shouted, trying to contain his anger and failing.

"I thought it would make your life easier. I thought it would allow you to at least interact with the children your age normally. I thought, if they didn't know, they would accept you. But I was being foolish – even if they didn't need to know why their parents hated you, the very fact they did was enough. And those that didn't learn it from their parents, learned it from the rest of the children. I actually read a few psychology books to see where I went wrong – there is this discipline called group psychology-"

"What is this terrible secret that nobody wants me to know about?" asked Naruto impatiently.

"You are a container of Kyuubi no Kitsune, the greatest of the bijuu."


	3. In the Fox

The Old Man assigned a pair of ninja to trail Naruto after their talk, probably to make sure that Naruto doesn't do anything stupid afterwards. Naruto wasn't sure about their ranks, but they sucked at stealth… that, or they didn't think putting in an effort was worthwhile for a mere academy student. Naruto, for his part, made no indication he was aware of being trailed. He decided to stay away from Sasori until his new bodyguards stop shadowing him, but that was okay - he didn't want to talk to Sasori at all right now, while his identity as the jailor of the Kyuubi still weighted heavily on his mind. It was a lot of absorb.

He supposed this new-found knowledge made him feel… relieved. Yes, it was unfair of the villagers to treat him like a Kyuubi reborn, but at least he knew it wasn't his fault. All this time he feared he really did do something to deserve the treatment he got and then forgot about it or something. Now, he could finally put those fears to rest. It was like a giant weight was removed from his shoulders.

Unfortunately, his contemplative mood immediately attracted the attention of Academy personnel and his normally avoidant classmates. He didn't skip classes, he didn't interrupt the instructors… hell, he couldn't even summon the will to pester Sakura to go out on a date with him. Considering his recent improvement in test scores, this kind of rapid behavior change definitely raised some eye-brows. One of the teachers actually tried to 'dispel the genjutsu' on him to reveal the imposter.

Naruto sighed as he ate his lunch at the sling outside the academy entrance. Hopefully this whole thing will blow over after a month or two. He sure didn't intend to stop with his pranks permanently, and he knew he would never ace the written exams. His source of improvement was Sasori, but Sasori had _practical_ knowledge about ninjas, while academy exams focused on inane historical curiosities, famous names, vogue moral proclamation, and other drivel. Something that Sasori cared about as much as Naruto did.

Nevertheless, his recent improvement was enough to make him second-to-last for the first time ever! It was kind of surreal actually, finally not being the worst student. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised when Shikamaru confronted him during recess.

"You just had to do it didn't you?"

Naruto peeled his eyes from his sandwich to look at the annoyed-looking Shikamaru. Well, more annoyed-looking than usual – Shikamaru was usually grumpy when he had to interact with anyone but Chouji.

"Wha?"

"The last weeks test. You just had to get better suddenly, didn't you? Iruka called my mother the next day to tell her how even _you_ are starting to take your education seriously, and I'm being, quote, 'left behind in the dust'. It has been three days and she's still nagging me about it. Do you have any idea how _troublesome_ that is?"

Naruto just bit into the sandwich, making him wait while he chewed and consequently annoying him. No one liked to be ignored, not even a lazy-ass like Shikamaru. To his credit, the boy patiently waited for an answer without a single complaint or a snide remark.

"So Iruka is finally picking on someone else for a change," Naruto said finally.

"You don't have a bossy mother to be upset by Iruka's remarks," he insisted.

Naruto frowned. "You say it like it's a good thing. I'd love to have a mother nagging me, you know?"

Shikamaru seemed lost for words for a moment. He stood there for a few moment in complete silence, as if wanting to continue the exchange, straining Naruto's always thin patience. Probably as a retaliation for Naruto's insistence of eating in the middle of conversation.

"So how did you do it? I thought you were an idiot."

Naruto pouted. "Shika, everything you've said to me so far has been mean. Are you trying to start a fight with me?"

"Pff. You haven't won a single fight in your life. I'm just saying you're being troublesome – now I have to score higher on the next exam too."

Naruto was just about to start shouting at his mentioning Naruto's abysmal fight record when he remembered Sasori's advice about being honest about yourself. Really, Shikamaru was right. He _did_ suck at fighting. He'll have to sit down one day and think up a way to remedy that.

"Expecting Uzumaki to fail on purpose for your benefit is highly unreasonable," said Shino, having silently approached behind Shikamaru's back. "More so considering the hostile approach you applied to this conversation."

Shikamaru jumped to the side when Shino started talking, startled by Shino's stealthy approach. He looked like he was about to say something, but then mumbled that it was too troublesome and left.

Naruto, for his part, was ecstatic that someone stood up for him. First time ever! He didn't know that Shino actually cared about him!

Now that he thought about it, Naruto had been avoiding Shino for the past few days. That wasn't very nice of him.

"Thanks Shino."

"You seem troubled lately," answered Shino, sitting beside him.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I do, don't I? I just found out a pretty shocking secret about me from the Old Man. I'm still not sure what to think of it."

Shino was silent for a while, but Naruto had learned to be patient with his silences: Shino was not ignoring him, it was just the way his personality and attitude worked.

"When I'm in a contemplative mood, I always found that a walk through the forest clears my head considerably. I'll be doing some research on my clan-grounds today. You're welcome to join me if you're interested."

Naruto was touched, and more than a little surprised. While he knew that 'research' was Shino's euphemism for 'searching for bugs' – which didn't sound all that interesting to Naruto – he also knew that Shino was a private person who did not invite people along with him lightly. To think that Shino considered them this close… and Naruto has been ignoring him in the past several days just like he did everyone else… it made him feel really, really shitty. Of course, he knew that part of Shino's gesture of trust was a desire to find out more about that 'shocking secret' – Shino was an extremely curious person, and this was just the sort of thing to pique his interest.

Naruto agreed enthusiastically, causing Shino to visibly relax. Naruto could tell by the way the tension in the boy's shoulders lessened immediately after his answer. Naruto still didn't know how to interpret Shino's subtle gestures reliably, but he was pretty sure what this one meant: the boy cared a great deal about Naruto's choice, and was _relieved_ that Naruto accepted the offer.

Naruto shoved the last piece of his sandwich into his mouth and cursed inwardly. He has been taking Shino for granted, just like he did for Sasori in the beginning. He wouldn't do that from now on, that's for sure.

Their lunch break spent, Naruto and Shino trudged off in the direction of the classroom in silence.

- break -

If you ignored Iruka's scolding for not paying attention in class (Naruto certainly did), the day passed without problems. Right now Naruto was trailing beside Shino as they were trudging through the forest. He glanced to his left, trying to see where the ninja trailing after him were.

"They're not following us anymore," said Shino beside him, "Non-members aren't allowed to enter clan grounds without permission unless their mission is urgent enough."

"Heh, I guess I'm not the only one who noticed them. They're really sloppy."

"Indeed."

Shino walked in silence for a while, but Naruto knew he was itching to continue the interrogation and was just waiting for the sake of politeness. Mostly because he stopped looking at insects around them.

"So are you going to ask what the secret is or what?" asked Naruto with a grin.

Shino slouched his shoulders, aware that he was seen through. "I was curious about that, yes."

"It's an S-class secret of Konoha," said Naruto, and Shino immediately snapped to full attention. "I'm allowed to tell whomever I want, but you can't. Do you think you can keep that kind of secret?"

Hook, line, and sinker. Shino nodded gravely, and Naruto was almost certain he heard the other boy's kikai buzzing in anticipation. Truth be told, he was itching to tell this to someone. He wanted to know what would happen if he told someone his age, and he was certain that Shino would not spread his secret around, even if he decided to avoid him from that point on.

"10 years ago Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked Konoha. We were taught in the academy that the Fourth killed it, but that's not really true. The Bijuu cannot be killed. Instead, the Fourth used a powerful sealing technique to bind the demon into a suitable container: a newborn child."

Shino stopped, and Naruto followed his example. "You?"

"Me. Before his own technique claimed his life, the Fourth wished that I be seen as a hero, but the people of Konoha seemed more interested in 'killing the demon for good'. In order to allow me to live a normal life, Old Man decreed that anyone discussing my true nature as a human sacrifice to anyone who doesn't already know would be executed."

Shino nodded and stared at Naruto for a few seconds.

"You know, if you're scared of me-" began Naruto, but Shino uncharacteristically cut him off.

"I am unperturbed by your tenant. Truthfully, I always knew there was something peculiar about you – my kikai occasionally become agitated when I'm around you."

"Oh. Does it… hurt?"

"No. It's merely unpleasant. Nothing I can't handle, or grow accustomed to."

Naruto didn't quite know what to say. He was just glad Shino was taking this so well. It was Shino who initiated the conversation again.

"The reactions of the villagers to your presence… what are you dealing with on a daily basis? Assassination attempts?"

"No, nothing that obvious. Indirect sabotage mostly. You know…"

"I don't."

"Shops selling me defective merchandize or overcharging, the library 'loosing' my membership card, academy instructors pretending not to hear me when I ask questions, that sort of thing."

Shino visibly furrowed his brow as Naruto went further. "Nothing that can be easily proven…"

"Exactly!"

"…and any attempt to alleviate such hurdles would be seen as deviation from orderly conduct."

"Uhh…"

"You have to make yourself a pest to get anything done," clarified Shino.

"I'm not a pest!" protested Naruto.

"Though I'm not sure how all those pranks factor into this," mused Shino loudly, ignoring the pouting blonde.

"They're just fun to do."

"There are better ways to pass one's time," remarked Shino. "If I recall correctly, you still cannot perform the 'clone' technique."

"Because it's impossible!"

"It is not impossible. Even for someone whose chakra levels are as large as yours it-"

"Huh?"

"You have a… monstrous… amount of chakra. Surely you know that? The instructors measured your capacity when you enrolled in-" suddenly Shino stopped talking and glanced at his blonde friend. "They didn't?"

"No. I was only admitted because of the Old Man's urgings. The examiners just said I have no potential and nothing else."

Shino exhaled in a rare show of irritation, though Naruto knew it was not directed at him. "What exactly did they tell you about chakra control?"

"Nothing. Everything I know I learned by bothering other students."

"As I feared. To make the long story short, the larger your chakra reserves, the harder it is to control them. Your chakra levels are absolutely massive. My kikai-bugs could never get an accurate reading on your chakra levels, but they're definitely higher than that of most seasoned ninja. Frankly, I've never met a person with more chakra capacity than you. While that will surely prove to be a boon in the long term, right now it undoubtedly makes chakra control difficult. The leaf exercise-"

"I can already do the damn leaf exercise!"

Shino raised his eyebrows. "You do? Then I fail to realize how you cannot perform the Clone Jutsu. You should already possess sufficient chakra control."

Naruto shuffled uncomfortably in place and looked to the ground. It was an unpleasant topic to him. He had tried and tried hundreds of times and failed every time. How should he know what's wrong?

"Try doing it now," said Shino.

"Huh? Why?"

"I want to confirm something."

Naruto shrugged and started molding chakra.

"Naruto stop," interrupted Shino. "You're pouring so much chakra into it you're scaring my kikai. You're overloading the technique. Try again but with less chakra."

Easier said than done. Naruto just _couldn't_ use less chakra. After a dozen attempts he decided he would no waste time on it today. It was just too frustrating.

"I'm afraid I don't possess the necessary expertise to help you in this regard," Shino said. "In any case, you should seek out someone to help you, as there is clearly something unorthodox about your chakra coils."

Though Shino had diplomatically chosen not to say it, Naruto could hear the unspoken remark: perhaps the fox has something to do with it.

Why is truth always so unpleasant?

- break -

Still shadowed and unable to do anything worthwhile, Naruto spent the next three days preparing a massive prank on all the weapons stores in Konoha that he suspected of cheated him. It involved several buckets of pink paint, a live cow, and a basket of scary hissing beetles that Shino showed him during their little walk. Unfortunately, no matter how cathartic that was, he still couldn't help but think about his recent realizations. His worldview received so many hits recently that it was thoroughly pulverized, leaving a gaping void Naruto was desperately trying to fill with _something_.

This nagging feeling of undirected discontent soon enough crystallized into something more defined: the disappointment with himself. Why is that, with his sensitive hearing and tendency to eavesdrop on conversations, he never pieced things together and figured out he holds the Kyuubi within him? Why is it that he never noticed he had larger chakra reserves than other people? Why did he only start practicing when Sasori called him on it?

He could blame the shopkeepers and academy teachers for his miserable abilities. He could blame Old Man for keeping secrets from him. He could blame a lot of things, but he knew a hefty amount of blame rested squarely on his shoulders. He received enough tongue-lashing from Sasori to know that he had numerous shortcomings: he was short-tempered, unfocused, quick to jump to conclusions, a braggart, and didn't pay attention to what people were saying a lot of time. He liked to believe he improved ever since Sasori pointed them out to him, but he knew he had a long way to go.

And go further he would. He still wanted to be a ninja, a Hokage, the _best_ Hokage. Except that now he knew it would be a lot more difficult to pull of than he initially thought. Just thinking about what is necessary to become a credible candidate for Hokage made his head spin. But such hurdles never stopped him before, and they wouldn't stop him now. If anything, his chances improved now that he knew what he needed to do.

Thoroughly tired of pacing around his apartment, he wriggled out of upper half of his jumpsuit and threw it crankily over the chair, causing a small book to fall out of it.

'The action novel,' he remembered. He picked the book up, turning it in his hands.

Well, it's not like he had anything better to do…

- break -

"That's all. Class dismissed."

Iruka sighed as the classroom erupted into chatter and hurried movement, every student trying to leave the room as soon as possible. Are they afraid that he'll lock them inside if they remained behind for more than a minute? He looked at Naruto – the blonde was in no hurry, absent-mindedly flipping through his textbook and waiting till the commotion subsides. How much he changed. Only a week ago the blonde would have been the first one to exit the classroom.

He approached the blonde and spoke to him in a low tone.

"Naruto, can you stay? I need to talk to you."

His favorite student inhaled heavily but deigned to look him in the face and nodded. That's good, it meant he still has some respect left for him. Iruka watched as the classroom emptied, Shikamaru exiting last, dragging his feet like an earthworm after the rain. He had an urge to shout at Shikamaru to get lost already but technically he had every right to stay as long as he wished. Finally, only two people remained and Iruka shifted his attention to Naruto, who was defiantly staring into his eyes. Iruka shifted uncomfortably, letting several seconds of awkward silence pass before speaking.

"I must say you've surprised me Naruto," began Iruka. "Your accuracy and written exams have improved dramatically over the past few months. I'm glad you're finally taking your education seriously."

Naruto shrugged. "I try."

"I…" began Iruka, trying to think of a way to breach the subject. "I had an interesting week. Both the Hokage and Shino have talked to me about you and, well… in light of attenuating circumstanced at work in your case, I'm willing to organize remedial classes for your benefit."

Iruka watched as various emotions played across Naruto's face. He knew that, until quite recently, the blonde would shout down the offer without a second thought, insulted by the implication that he needs additional assistance. That he was actually considering remedial classes spoke clearly about his change in personality.

"What exactly would those remedial classes consist of?" asked Naruto suspiciously.

Iruka took a deep breath. So far so good.

"Taijutsu, mostly. I'm leaving you to work on your accuracy and academic skills in your free time, seeing as how you're doing fine there on your own," began Iruka. Truthfully, Iruka would love to work on Naruto's theoretical knowledge as well, but he didn't want to poison the whole deal. Should everything go as planned, Iruka would breach the subject after a few months. "As for ninjutsu… well, I don't know what to tell you. Clearly you need to work on your chakra control during your practice sessions."

Naruto didn't seem too happy with this. "I'm sick of doing the stupid leaf exercise! Isn't there a way to make the clone jutsu work with more chakra?"

"I'm afraid not," Iruka said. "It requires very specific amount of chakra to work correctly."

"Well, why don't you teach something more chakra intensive in the academy? You're being unfair to people like me with large chakra reserves!"

"Ah…" began Iruka. "Thing is Naruto, you're something of a rarity. Peculiar cases like you aside, academy students have miniscule chakra reserves. They could never get off anything chakra-intensive, and could easily end up suffering from chakra exhaustion – a condition that leaves people bedridden for days or weeks, and may even result in death. Considering how irresponsible most children are, teaching something that could easily kill them is… inadvisable. And in any case, one of the functions of academy jutsus is precisely to practice your chakra control."

"Fine, I get it," huffed Naruto. "So, taijutsu, eh? When do we begin?"

"Actually, I wanted to start today. Nothing much, just explaining you the theory behind taijutsu lessons you'll be getting."

Naruto groaned.

"Naruto, please. It's important."

"How? Taijutsu is about beating people up! There is no theory there!"

"That's where you're wrong," said Iruka, controlling his irritation. "The generic term 'taijutsu' encompasses hundreds of styles and there is a multitude of consideration to take into account when using it. If it were as simple as you make it, you wouldn't lose every single sanctioned spar the academy has organized."

"Ugh," said Naruto irritably. "Just give me a scroll about it and-"

"I'm afraid taijutsu doesn't work like that," said Iruka. He was being a bit unfair, since he was deliberately misinterpreting the blonde's words – Naruto was referring to this theory lesson specifically, not taijutsu in general – but it seemed like a perfect opportunity to breach this particular issue. "If you want to learn taijutsu you need a teacher who knows what they're doing and a whole lot of practice on actual opponents – that is to say, sparring. You can't learn it by yourself. But that's precisely what you've been doing thus far, haven't you?"

"Well, I was testing myself by challenging Sasuke to fight me!" protested Naruto.

"Which was a very bad choice of a sparring partner Naruto," said Iruka. "I know you don't want to hear this, but Sasuke is extremely skilled and he never holds back. There are problems so difficult you can't learn much from failing."

"But no one else wants to spar with me!"

"I have talked to Shino and he has agreed to be your sparring partner from time to time. You just have to work out a schedule with him when you're ready."

"Oh."

"Now… since you probably didn't pay attention when this was being discussed, I will tell you the theory behind 'academy standard', the taijutsu style every graduate of Konoha ninja academy learns. It's not that bad so stop making faces. If you're not going to listen to what I'm saying I'll stop with the remedial classes, understand?"

"Sorry Iruka-sensei. Please continue."

Iruka looked at Naruto is surprise. Did Naruto just apologize? Well… if he knew it would have this sort of effect on him, he would have asked Hokage to tell Naruto about the Kyuubi years ago!

"Right. Anyway… At first glance academy standard is a somewhat weak taijutsu style lacking in special maneuvers, but there is a reason this particular style is taught to every perspective ninja. It can be effective even in the hands of a physically weak person and isn't tied too closely to the person's body build, meaning that almost everyone can learn it. It doesn't have any particularly rigid stances, making the style easy to learn and improvise upon, allowing users to incorporate new moves and stances as they see fit. You yourself are a prime example of the style's robustness and versatility: even with your abysmal knowledge of it, you were still able to turn it into something relatively effective. The major weakness of the style is that it isn't suited for taijutsu specialists. Dedicated taijutsu users need to find a more specialized style for themselves."

"But Iruka-sensei," interrupted Naruto, "what if I want to be kickass at taijutsu?"

"Well, once you become chuunin, you will likely be able to afford a private instructor at whatever style you choose. You will probably be around 15 then, so that will be another plus."

"What do you mean?" asked Naruto.

"Taijutsu isn't very effective in the hands of a freshly graduated genin," said Iruka. "A 12-year old has neither the muscle mass nor reach to fight hand-to-hand against adults effectively. Not to mention that at this age you still don't know what kind of body build you will have. Academy standard will serve you adequately for now. And besides… anything is better than that atrocity you currently use."

Naruto pouted, causing Iruka to chuckle at the gesture.

"So if I can't reach my full potential till I'm older," said Naruto, "what about all those people who became super-ninjas as kids that I hear people talking about?"

"Ah…" said Iruka, gathering his thoughts. "Most child prodigies focus on ninjutsu, since developing your chakra is less dependant on age. The only exception I can think off are some Hyuugas, but 'gentle fist' depends heavily on chakra usage so it actually further supports my point."

Naruto was silent, staring into his desk, clearly thinking heavily about it.

"Well, that's it, really. It wasn't so bad, wasn't it?" Iruka said. "We'll start off for real in a week."

As he watched Naruto scamper away, Iruka couldn't help but feel a little proud for his blonde student. Hopefully his enthusiasm won't evaporate too quickly.

- break -

Naruto pushed on the door of Sasori's shop a little more forcefully than necessary, marching into the shop with steps that were intentionally loud and noticeable. Sasori didn't even look at him, instead opting to continue reading his book. It pissed Naruto off more than any insult or disparaging remark. Instead of saying anything, Naruto marched straight to the desk and folded his arms over his chest, looking at Sasori expectantly in silence. He stood there for a full minute, stubbornly refusing to be the one to initiate conversation.

"I see you finally deigned to show up," said the red-head finally, "the paperwork is over there. You got quite a pile to work through today."

"You knew, didn't you?" said Naruto harshly.

Sasori glanced at him.

"Of course I knew."

"And you didn't tell me!"

"And what would you do if I had? March into Hokage's office and demand an explanation?"

"Damn right I would!"

"At which point he'd look for the one who spilled the beans. The punishment for which is death."

Naruto was immediately silenced. He wanted to say something to deny that, but he had just admitted he'd go to Hokage as soon as Sasori told him about the Kyuubi. Already this conversation wasn't going how he wanted it to. Oh well, he was good at improvisation.

"Sasori, you aren't a normal civilian, aren't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Things. Am I right?"

"Define 'normal civilian'."

"Sasori!"

"What? It _is_ a rather vague category."

"Admit it Sasori. Taking time to hang out with me, answering my questions, giving me all that money in a roundabout way… you've been manipulating me all this time."

"All interaction between people is manipulation of one sort or another. We're all puppets, tugged in this or that direction by the laws of reality, our place in society, and our own natures. I do not harbor any ill will towards you, if that's what you mean."

"I… I though we were friends."

"Friendship is just a mutually beneficial social contract. Wasn't I helpful to you?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"There you go. I can be more helpful still."

Naruto narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You said you weren't a ninja."

"I wasn't lying. I have not officially joined any of the ninja villages."

"So what can you teach me? Know any jutsu?"

"No."

"How about taijutsu?"

"I know nothing about it."

"Damnit Sasori, stop playing games with me! Look, I'm screwed. I need something to give me an edge when I become a ninja. I need help. Your help. Help me out here, will you?"

Sasori eyed him curiously. "I'm surprised. I thought you'd spend at least one more year goofing off before you realized you should take things seriously."

"Well if you wanted to teach me something, why didn't you say anything!" protested Naruto. "I would have-"

"No you wouldn't have," said Sasori flatly. "You clearly had negative outlook on being taught anything and I had no intention of trying to teach an unwilling disciple."

"Disciple?"

"Yes. Are you interested?"

"Yes! But… if you don't know any jutsu or taijutsu, what could you teach me?"

"Seals, poisons, information gathering, and puppeteering."

Naruto thought about it for a minute. A few weeks ago the idea of learning something like information gathering would have been unappealing, but he didn't think so anymore. Knowledge was power and people seemed determined to keep him in the dark. Poisons didn't really mesh with him, he had no idea what puppeteering was, and seals…

"I thought seals were something only the greatest of ninja can learn."

"Yes, because they're chakra intensive. _Really_ chakra intensive."

"…and I have huge chakra reserves," finished Naruto.

"Yes. Which means you can learn to wield seals with no problems - as long as you inscribe the array properly and pump enough chakra into it, it will work. No chakra control necessary – you just have to learn sealing theory."

Naruto sported the biggest grin in his life – that sounded absolutely perfect! He heard so much about how powerful sealing was – hell, he had proof of that on his own belly – and now he'll probably be the only genin to wield such might!

"And this puppeteering stuff?"

Sasori gave him a good hard look before reaching into his pocket and taking out… a scroll? A small scroll the size of Naruto's finger, which he unfurled and placed his hand on. With a puff of smoke he summoned… a doll! A small doll, no larger than a tea-pot, roughly humanoid. Sasori raised his hand and the doll got up on it's feet.

Naruto stared mesmerized as the doll took various poses and strutted around the table. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sasori's fingers twitching slightly.

Naruto chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "That's kind of cool Sasori, I didn't know you play with dolls. I suppose it's good for entertaining girls-"

The moment the words left his lips he knew he made a mistake – Sasori got up in an instant, his head lowered in a threatening manner. Naruto opened his mouth to apologize but never got the chance. In a blur of movement Sasori flicked two larger scrolls into the air, summoning two creepy, intimidating dolls to his right and left. Before Naruto could protest the left doll pointed at him and it's arm split open like a flower from hell, launching a hail of needles in Naruto's direction.

Naruto stared mortified, feeling the needles whiz past him, so uncomfortably close, painfully aware that he could do nothing – he was defenseless and would have been killed had Sasori been aiming for real. Because that's what this was – a demonstration. Just a demonstration.

The gentle 'thumps' as needles impacted the wall behind him echoed inside his mind, making him sick in his stomach, but Sasori remained unperturbed by Naruto's obvious terror. The doll's hand furled back and lowered, and Sasori waited for Naruto to calm down and initiate conversation again.

"This is…"

"The art of puppeteering," said Sasori evenly, but Naruto can almost feel the elation in Sasori's voice. He'd gotten a feeling for the older boy's moods over time, just by listening to subtle inflection of his voice and movements of his head. He was practically shouting by normal standards. "I am not exaggerating when I say I am the greatest master of the art."

Sasori began a lengthy explanation about puppeteering, about chakra strings and hidden weaponry and so on. Naruto made a point to listen carefully, as Sasori obviously cared a great deal about what he was saying and Naruto didn't want to become a human pincushion if Sasori catches him not paying attention.

"How come I never heard of this… puppeteering?"

"Puppeteers are only found in Suna, I'm afraid, but even there they are a rarity. Being a puppeteer is a demanding vocation, requiring a wide range of skills and inherently coming with some serious weaknesses. Before I came, most puppeteers used their art purely for entertainment purposes – battle puppets were rare and each one a unique construct, difficult to use and maintain by anyone beside their creator. I came up with several standardized puppets that made the entrance to the field much easier. In a way, you could say I'm the father of modern puppeteering."

"Wow. So you're famous?"

"Only by name, and only to puppeteers and a few older ninja. Most believe I'm dead."

"So, um… why is someone so famous interested in me? I'm sure there are plenty of people in Suna-"

"I hate Suna," said Sasori blankly. "I refuse to even set foot in that den of vipers."

Naruto swallowed heavily. He could tell that he isn't supposed to dig deeper into this right now. He took a deep breath before continuing the exchange.

"You still didn't tell me what you hope to gain from teaching me," said Naruto. "What do _you_ get out of this 'socially beneficial contract'?"

Sasori smiled. He _smiled_! It made shivers run down his spine. Sasori should never smile.

"There is something I hope to gain by helping you, but you are under no obligation to return my generosity. When the time comes, I'll call upon your help and you will be free to ignore me entirely. It's a risk I'm willing to take. In the short term, however, my request is very simple: I want to study the seal that binds the Kyuubi in you."

Naruto immediately agreed. He had nothing else to offer to the older boy, and it's not like there will be any harm coming out of this, right?

Right.

"Sasori," started Naruto after taking a deep breath. "There was another thing I wanted to talk to you about. I have a problem, and if you won't help me, no one will."

Sasori eyed him suspiciously. "Go on."

"There is something wrong with my chakra coils," said Naruto. "My chakra control is unusually bad and I don't know how to fix it. I think the fox has something to do with it. Can you help me?"

Sasori grinned predatorily. What's with all the smiling suddenly!

"You know, I think I know just the right person to help you…"

- break -

"Well, well, well… I finally met the infamous Uzumaki Naruto," Kabuto said. "Sasori-sama has told me so much about you, Naruto-kun."

Naruto swallowed heavily. Kabuto was… pleasant. Too pleasant. And the lack of proper lighting in the room didn't help either. But the thing that really convinced him he should watch out for this Kabuto person was the amused smile on Sasori's face, like he was setting up Naruto a prank of something.

"I-It's nice to meet you, Kabuto-san," said Naruto as calmly as he could. "I, um…"

"Need help with your chakra control?" offered Kabuto. "Show me. Do you know any techniques yet?"

"Well, no. We are currently learning 'clone' and…"

"Try it," said Kabuto impatiently.

Naruto looked at Sasori for approval, and the red-head nodded in agreement. With a sigh, Naruto started molding chakra. He failed, of course, but he was surprised by the look of concentration on Kabuto's face, like he was trying to see something that wasn't there. In the blink of an eye, Kabuto was beside him, waving a softly glowing arm over Naruto's skin.

It tickled.

"Take off your shirt," commanded Kabuto. "Sasori-sama, I will need your help, I have very little talent with sealing."

Sasori nodded to Kabuto and took his position. Standing with his chest bare while two guys stare at him was intensely embarrassing for Naruto, but he knew their wish to help was sincere. Sasori wouldn't lie to him. He started molding chakra again at Kabuto's prompting, and was surprised at the black spiral that sprung to life on his stomach. This was undoubtedly the infamous seal that bound the Kyuubi inside him. Naruto watched at the seal, mesmerized, dimly aware that both Kabuto and Sasori were staring at the seal as well. Distracted, Naruto allowed his chakra to surge unrestrained, causing his hands to glow with visible light.

After several minutes of this, Kabuto and Sasori retreated into the other room to discuss things. Naruto tried to overhear things without being too obvious, but he only caught glimpses of the conversation. Their voices were rapid and full of unknown terms, causing untold difficulties to Naruto when he tried to figure them out. Once upon a time he would have dismissed things he didn't understand as irrelevant, but now he found himself annoyed and frustrated at not understanding what was being said. He would have to increase his vocabulary. Maybe go to the library again, borrow few more action novels or something – that novel Sasori gave him was pretty good.

Finally, they both came back and approached him.

"Well Naruto, you were right," began Sasori, "There is something wrong with your chakra coils, and the Kyuubi is involved."

Naruto took a deep breath. He was hoping he was wrong.

"Will I ever be able to do jutsu," he asked in a small voice, unable to look at them anymore.

"Of course," said Kabuto.

Naruto's head shot back up. "But… you said…"

"That there is something wrong with your chakra coils, yes," said Kabuto. "For some reason, Yondaime didn't seal Kyuubi away _completely_. The seal allows minute amounts of Kyuubi's chakra to continually leak into your chakra coils. Though 'leak' is a wrong analogy – _push_ would be more accurate. Human chakra coils are normally full by default, so this constant infusion of Kyuubi's chakra is continually stressing them. This has an effect of stretching your chakra capacity, which is why you developed such massive chakra reserves at such a young age, but it also sends your chakra control awry."

"Yeah, Shino told me that bigger chakra reserves-"

"It's not just that," said Kabuto. "Because of the Kyuubi's chakra pushing into your coils, your chakra is constantly under high pressure, so to speak. That's why, when you start channeling chakra into a technique you find it very difficult to stop, giving you a unique sort of predicament: there is a minimum amount of chakra you can use on a jutsu, and you can only go higher than that."

"Umm… is there a way around that?"

"Well, the simplest solution would be to spend a great deal of chakra before attempting chakra-sensitive jutsus," said Sasori. "After all, if your chakra coils aren't full, they won't be seeking relief by dumping as much chakra as they can at the first chance they get. But that is so… inelegant. We have two much better solutions for you."

Naruto swallowed heavily, fidgeting in his place. He didn't say anything – he knew Sasori was just making a dramatic pause so Naruto can gather his thoughts and not be overwhelmed.

"You asked me to train you," said Sasori, "and I have every intention of doing that, but there are some things I cannot help you with. Kabuto can."

"You mean…"

"How would you like me to train you as well, Naruto-kun?" asked Kabuto with a smile.

"Um, not that I'm not interested, but what can you teach me?"

"Chakra control for one," said Kabuto, reaching into his pocket to retrieve two scrolls and threw them to Naruto. Naruto gave him a curious look.

"Those are chakra control exercises meant for medic-nins," said Kabuto. "Learning those should be enough to compensate for your deficiency."

"Wait," said Naruto, eying the scrolls. "These are like the leaf exercise, right?" Kabuto nodded. "And they improve chakra control, right?" Kabuto nodded again. "So why isn't _everyone_ required to learn them?"

"Because most people don't need them," said Kabuto. "They don't have any other use except improving chakra control and mastering them eats up a lot of time. Generally, only medic-nins and genjutsu masters bother with them. Even you probably won't have to master all of them, just enough to-."

"I will master them all," said Naruto with an air of finality, "regardless whether I need to or not."

"An admirable spirit," said Kabuto, tilting his head so his glasses flashed dangerously in the shadowy atmosphere of the room. "You can never have too much chakra control, in my opinion. But if you're already going to put so much effort into it, why not do a little bit more and reap actual benefits from your hard work?"

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"How would you like to be a medic-nin, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto stared at Kabuto, stupefied. He… never even considered the idea.

"Being a medic-nin is hard work," Kabuto said suddenly, jolting Naruto out of his thoughts. "At least, that's what people say. The truth is that it just requires exceptional chakra control and a great deal of knowledge about human anatomy. Since you're already going to master all those exercises… well, it would be a shame for that skill to go to waste just because you didn't want to read a few textbooks and attend a lesson or two with me."

"Besides, it's not like you have anything better to do with your time," reminded Sasori.

Naruto sighed. He didn't really know if he wanted to this, but clearly he had walked into this one, and it's not like he had anyone to teach him something more to his liking.

"Fine," he said. "I accept."

"You've made a good decision, Naruto-kun," said Kabuto.

"Right, right… anyway, what about that other thing you wanted to tell me about?"

"I can place a blocking seal on top of the one binding Kyuubi," said Sasori. "This will stop the Kyuubi's chakra from mingling with your own and allow you to develop your chakra control without a handicap."

"That's… great!" said Naruto, jumping up. "What are you waiting for? Do it!"

"Well… Yondaime must have had some reason to allow the Kyuubi's chakra to mingle with your own. He could have easily prevented any mixing at all, yet he did not. I suspect the mixing allows you to draw upon the Kyuubi's chakra with enough practice. If I block the mixing, you will not be able to access that. The question is, what do you want more: unrestrained power from the Kyuubi or better chakra control so you can rely on your abilities?"

It was a loaded question, but Naruto didn't care. Whatever boons the fox could give him, he didn't want them.

"Like I said, what are you waiting for! Do it already!"

Sasori smirked. "I'll need a few days to make preparations. In the meantime Kabuto and I will begin training you. You will start your training with Kabuto today, and you and I will work out a schedule tomorrow morning. I bid you goodbye now. Behave yourself."

And thus was Naruto was left alone with Kabuto. Though somewhat suspicious, he was calmed by the leaf headband on Kabuto's forehead and the fact that Sasori vouched for him.

"Umm…" he began. "So, what now?"

Naruto watched as Kabuto's hand started to glow, coated with a haze of teal light.

"This is medical chakra," said Kabuto. "It is the basis of 99% of all medic-nin's 'techniques'. Notice I put emphasis on 'techniques', like there is something wrong with it. This is because medical techniques don't work like regular ninjutsu techniques – instead of having to know the correct hand-seals, you have to possess correct medical knowledge that will tell you just _where_ do you want to direct medical chakra and _what _would you have it do once it gets there. Simply knowing how to produce medical chakra is useless without the knowledge of the patient's body and how to heal it."

"So that it?" asked Naruto incredulously. "That one jutsu is all there is to being a medic-nin?"

"No," said Kabuto. "But most of the time you'll be using this one. The other ones are intended for combat usage."

Naruto immediately perked up on this, causing Kabuto to chuckle.

"I see you're interested in fighting, Naruto-kun," said Kabuto. "That's good. Too many ninjas choose the profession of medic-nin in the hopes they will be able to avoid direct confrontation, which is rather foolish. Medic-nins are commonly sent on the front lines in any conflict, and the enemy will specifically and sensibly target medic-nins at any opportunity they get. It is imperative that any potential medic-nin not be defenseless, else they will not live long. But do not worry Naruto-kun, I will make sure you are capable of protecting yourself."

Naruto returned Kabuto's smile, foreboding as it was.

"Now then," said Kabuto, producing another scroll out of his pocket. This one was a storage scroll, and Kabuto pressed his hand on it, unsealing a… a…

A corpse.

Naruto looked at the body in front of him. At first he thought it was something else, maybe an elaborate puppet, but the more he looked at it the more certain he was that he's looking at a dead body. He felt sick.

"Shall we start cutting?" said Kabuto, clearly amused by Naruto's reaction.

"Kabuto-san!" protested Naruto. "You can't seriously-"

"As a medic-nin, you will see plenty of dead bodies," said Kabuto in that pleasant voice of his. "You may even be asked to perform autopsies on them. And in any case, I'm of the opinion that you don't know human anatomy until you've cut one open and dug around in their innards. It's a mystery to me, really - you wouldn't call yourself a taijutsu specialist if all you've done is read about taijutsu in theory scrolls, but so many people think they can be medic-nins without getting their hands dirty. Now on to the cutting…"

Unable to help himself, Naruto ran into the nearby bathroom and emptied his stomach.

- break -

"How was your lesson with Kabuto," asked Sasori, his voice laced with amusement.

"Fine," said Naruto, suppressing the urge to wipe that self-satisfied smirk off Sasori's face. He would fail, and Sasori would be even more amused. Besides, Sasori was going to teach him something awesome, so he gets a little leeway when it comes to things like this. "Hey, can you teach me sealing first? I heard sealing is awesome, and all the greatest ninja had it and-"

"As a matter of fact, yes," said Sasori, handing him two scroll. Looking over them, Naruto could tell they were some dry technical texts on sealing. Just reading the titles made Naruto feel a little sleepy.

"Sasori…" asked Naruto in annoyance. "You aren't expecting me to read this stuff, are you?"

"Yes I do. I will be giving you lessons in person, of course, but I will be giving you tasks to do in your own time. Read andcomprehend both by our next meeting."

"Sasori, this is bullshit! What's the point of these things?"

"They're sealing texts. I though it was self-explanatory."

"No it isn't! Look! There is nothing here about inscribing arrays!"

"Of course not. You have to learn the theory behind sealing before I teach you how to make them."

Naruto snorted. "Theory this, theory that! Everyone is trying to teach me theory before we get to the real stuff! I've got a book to read about taijutsu from Iruka, anatomy textbooks from Kabuto, and now this. At this rate all I'll be doing in my free time is _read_! Screw theory! Isn't there some kind of a shortcut?"

"Of course there is," said Sasori calmly. "You could learn how to make standardized seals. They don't require any theory to learn, just memorize the proper arrays and you're done. You'd have to find someone willing to teach you, however, because I certainly won't."

Naruto frowned. "Why not?"

"Because it's a waste of both of our potential. You could become the best seal master since the Yondaime, but that will never happen unless you actually know what you're doing. Blindly copying other people's work can make you decently skilled, but to truly excel you have to be a creator. An artist. As for me, I am not in the business of churning out worthless copycats – if that's what you want, find someone else to teach you."

Naruto was not happy. He screamed and threatened and begged, but Sasori would not give in. Finally, Naruto told him the unpleasant truth: even if he wanted to go along with Sasori's plan, _he just couldn't_! He just didn't have that kind of patience. At all.

"Thing is Naruto," said Sasori, "you have only a year and a half before you graduate. Once you do, your free time will diminish considerably. You don't have a enough time to take it easy. So I have a proposal. It is a radical proposal and requires that you have a great deal of trust in me. Do you trust me Naruto?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess." Said Naruto carefully. "What kind of proposal?"

"Over the years I have developed a class of seals that affect the minds of humans they are placed on," said Sasori. "I call them personality seals. Depending on their purposes, they can lock away certain memories or implant fake ones, and radically alter people's personality. One such seal is a 'focus persona seal', which would allows you enter a state of mind where you can single-mindedly pursue an activity, never growing bored or discouraged."

"Wow," said Naruto. "So… the seal makes me smarter?"

"No. The seal increases your attention span and allows you to focus on really dry subject matter, like those theoretical manuals I've given you. It makes boring tasks seem endlessly interesting and productive, allowing you to persist in doing them long after other people would have given up. That's why it's called a personality seal, and not a mind-enhancement one – it let's you study longer, not faster."

Naruto's face twisted in a sour expression. "That sounds rather creepy. I can go back to what I were before, right?"

"Of course. The focus state isn't something you want to have active all the time. There is such a thing as being too patient and focused in everyday life, believe it or not. It's basically a crutch – use it only when you have to."

"Right," said Naruto. "I'll do it. Give me the seal."

"I'll give it to you when I prepare the overlay for the Kyuubi's seal. Right now, we should begin with our lesson…"

- break -

"No Naruto, you're still holding your arm too stiffly. You have to-"

"Oh come on Iruka, get on with it already!" protested Naruto. "What does it matter if I got some minor detail wrong!"

"It's the most important thing of everything I'm teaching you," said Iruka gravely. "I can't stress this enough during class because I can devote only so much to any single student, but basic principles – proper stances, flow of movement, and timing – are the most important things you can learn as far as taijutsu is concerned. If you can master these basic principles, a lot of common attack patterns simply won't work on you, with little active effort on your part. And besides, when you get decent at the basics you can make up moves on the fly, which is something you seem to be fond of. Except that at that point those moves will actually _work_."

Naruto pouted. "But we've been doing this for _three weeks_ already! I could recite this stuff in my sleep by now! I know, okay?"

"Intellectually, maybe," said Iruka, "but your body clearly hasn't learned the lesson. You need to develop muscle memory and accustom your joints and ligaments to stresses of hand-to-hand combat. The only way to effectively teach that is through constant drilling and sparring."

"Well maybe you should take our spars a little more serious then," protested Naruto. "You're so slow! It's obvious you're holding back!"

"Of course I'm holding back! What would be the point to press the attack when you are clearly open? The purpose of our sparring is for me to teach you, not take advantage of your lack of skill and experience to beat the crap out of you. You have Shino for that."

Naruto glared at Iruka, not willing to answer. Iruka was right, of course – Shino absolutely demolished him every time they sparred – but Naruto didn't like mentioning it. Personally, Naruto couldn't understand why Shino was behind Sasuke and Kiba in the official taijutsu ranking… though the obvious answer was that the Aburame was holding back against fellow students for some reason.

"Look Naruto," Iruka began, "Your reactions need to become totally automatic, because that is the foundation upon which all those fancy moves you like so much are built. There is no point in learning some 'awesome maneuver' if you can't steer a battle into a situation where you can use it, and the only reason you can do the acrobatics you do now is because no one is really fighting you seriously. You can't think up creative strategies in the thick of a real battle, because thinking takes time, and if the other person is trying to kill you, that's time you don't have. Unless you have allies to give you a breather, that is, but do you really want to depend on your teammates that much?"

Naruto frowned. He couldn't do that. It wasn't cool to rely on others, and besides… there was a very real chance that he could find himself with a 'teammate' that wouldn't mind seeing him dead one way or another.

"Basics, ha?" asked Naruto quietly.

"Absolutely," said Iruka. "In fact, I would go so far as to say that in most areas of life, not just taijutsu, mastery of the basics beats poorly-grounded techniques every time."

Heh. Sounds like Iruka alright.

"I suppose if you aimed merely to be a good ninja, you could afford yourself some leeway," continued Iruka after some thought. "But you want to be Hokage, right? A Hokage cannot have any easily exploitable weakness like that."

Naruto straightened himself. Of course! How could he have been so stupid! All this time he was thinking about what a drag it is to do these things over and over again till he got them right, but that was a completely wrong attitude. If he is was to become the next Hokage, he couldn't afford to be merely good enough – he had to be the best there is! There was going to be no fix-all jutsu that will give him a needed edge, no opportunity to fall into his lap.

He took a deep breath and took the stance again.

"Iruka-sensei, let's continue."

- break -

For the next four months Naruto spent his free time reading an endless stream of sealing and anatomy texts, punctuated by the inevitably-creepy sessions with Kabuto and Sasori's lectures about a variety of topics. Sasori didn't test him in any overt manner, but somehow he always knew when Naruto skirted the lesson, and his displeasure was as harsh as a shower of needles. Literally.

Curse his puppets. Curse them all to hell.

When not scrambling to meet Sasori's deadlines, Naruto continued working on the chakra control exercises, his remedial classes with Iruka, and his spars with Shino. He even talked Sasori into letting him test his accuracy against his puppets instead of static targets. It was a lot more challenging, and a lot more infuriating - Sasori usually read a book while controlling three puppets simultaneously with one hand and dodging almost everything Naruto threw at them. Hell, Naruto once tried targeting Sasori but the puppets defended the puppeteer so masterfully that Naruto eventually found himself backed to a tree with all three puppets beating the crap out of him. _And not once did Sasori stop reading!_

In retrospect, pulling off that stunt was pretty stupid of him, because nowadays the puppets occasionally fired back at Naruto when he was practicing on them, probably to keep him from considering similarly hare-brained ideas.

Generally speaking, his schedule was pretty hectic. After all, Naruto lived alone - he had to buy everything he needed himself, had to wash his own clothes, nag the land-lord to fix the utilities, take out the trash, do the dishes, and clean his own apartment. He had to attend the academy and work at Sasori's store. All those things ate up time and, perhaps more insidiously, broke up the continuity he really needed to lose himself in training. Thank god for the focus seal - if it weren't for it, Naruto doubted he could preserve his sanity.

With so little free time, Naruto didn't perform much in the way of pranks, much to Iruka's joy. Instead he took up reading various novels. They were a rather fun way to pass the time, which is why he took up reading them during class, much to Iruka's displeasure.

"You have done exceptionally well," said Sasori. "I am happy to say that your lessons will advance to another level."

"All right!" shouted Naruto. "What is it? What will you teach me?"

Sasori reached into his pocket a retrieved… a piece of paper?

"You will be doing origami," said Sasori flatly, staring directly into Naruto's eyes.

You could hear a metaphorical pin drop from 5 meters away.

"Oh come ON!" exploded Naruto. "Now you're just making fun of me!"

"Not at all," said Sasori calmly. "Origami will help you develop manual dexterity that you'll need as a puppeteer."

"But I'm not even sure if I want to be a puppeteer!" protested Naruto. "C'mon, why don't you teach me some real sealing instead?"

"Sorry," said Sasori. "If you want me to teach you sealing, you will have to learn puppeteering as well. It's a package deal."

"You suck."

"Perhaps. Now watch."

Despite his annoyance, Naruto watched mesmerized as Sasori started rapidly folding the paper between his fingers. The interesting thing was that he only used one hand and didn't set the paper down on any flat surface – he used only his fingers. In less than 10 seconds Naruto was looking at a paper crane in Sasori's palm.

"How do you _do_ that?"

"Practice," said Sasori. "But anyway, that's what you'll be doing in your free time."

Free time? Free time! Naruto was starting to forget what those words even meant, and he wants to dump more obligations on him!

"At our meetings," continued Sasori, "we'll start working on chakra strings and tinkering with simple puppets. But first a little history."

Naruto sighed and engaged his focus seal. There was no point in complaining.

"As I'm sure I already told you, puppeteering is a demanding art, and used to be even harder. This is mostly because of the difficulty of actually creating a puppet."

Sasori flicked open a scroll, unsealing a four-armed puppet between him and Naruto.

"Though it looks deceptively simple, each puppet is an extremely complex work of engineering and sealing," continued Sasori.

"Sealing?" asked Naruto incredulously.

"Yes. In order to control a lifeless object with the kind of precision a puppeteer needs, one needs to lace the puppet with various control seals – anchors for chakra strings, weapon compartment activators, limb controls, and so on. Obviously, since genin don't have sufficient chakra reserves to utilize sealing effectively, they cannot really make their own puppets. As a consequence, puppeteering was rare and obscure in the past – one needed to be quite powerful before they could start dabbling in it, and every puppet was a unique creation that you had to learn how to handle on a case-to-case basis."

Sasori pointed at the puppet between them, causing its chest to open. Naruto yelped in surprise but Sasori ignored him.

"That was until I created 7 types of 'customizable' puppets. This is one of them. The innovative thing about them was that I separated the chassis of the puppet from the weaponry inside it: control seals are placed exclusively on the chassis, letting just about anyone mess with the innards of the puppet and customize it to their heart's content without destroying the control mechanisms. The control seals for each type of puppet were simplified and standardized, so one doesn't have to be a sealing master to make them, as long as they have the blue-prints. They don't have the flexibility and power of a specialized, non-standard puppet, but they're very friendly for beginners – the controls are relatively straightforward and there is a lot of redundancy. Follow me so far?"

Naruto nodded. It was likely the focus seal, but it sounded rather interesting. Sasori flipped the puppet open and pointed at a tiny black spot on one of the arms.

"This is an anchor seal. It allows you to attach a chakra string to a puppet."

"So you can't just attach it anywhere?"

"Of course not. If you could do that, puppeteering would be the least of the uses of chakra strings. You need an anchor seal to create a chakra string. In any case, we won't bother with chakra strings until you develop your manual dexterity a bit. For now, I want you to familiarize yourself with the physical construction of a puppet. Here."

Sasori proceeded to unseal a pile of puppet parts to the left of the puppet.

"This is a puppet identical to the first one, only taken apart. I want you to put it back together. Feel free to consult the intact puppet as a reference. Think of it as a puzzle."

Naruto sighed before getting down to work. It was truly fortunate that nobody was observing him because he would have died if somebody knew he was playing with dolls.

- break -

"Okay Naruto, we'll take a short break. Your taijutsu is starting to get somewhat decent but you're still attacking blindly – your attack patterns lack variation and you're charging in without a strategic purpose. If you really want to become 'kick-ass at taijutsu' as you've put it, you can't put your brain completely at auto-pilot in a fight…"

Iruka glanced towards Naruto as he continued with the lecture. The blonde was listening on the edge of his seat with rapt attention. His azure blue eyes burned with such intensity that Iruka nearly flinched back when they eyes met for a moment. Naruto seemed to be _devouring_ every word he said. It made him feel incredibly self-conscious and… well...

Aw hell, it was creepy as hell! And it wasn't the first time Iruka noticed this behavior either. During their remedial classes, Naruto would be his cheerful person one moment only to quiet down and _focus_ as soon as Iruka started talking to demonstrating things. _Really_ focus. He would perform taijutsu katas with an almost machine-like zeal, not saying anything. At the time Iruka attributed it to Shino's influence, since the Aburame behaved similarly, but he was no longer so sure. And at least Shino was consistent.

But Iruka was reluctant to complain, since Naruto's improvement was absolutely _stellar_. His taijutsu had advanced by leaps and bounds, and he could finally perform the clone technique.

Now if only Naruto could focus like that while in class, instead of reading novels and _doing origami, of all things…_ It's nice that he got some new hobbies beside pranks, but must he indulge in them during lectures?

"Naruto, are you okay?"

The blonde shook his head for a moment before his expression softened. "Yeah. Why?"

"You just… seemed a bit out there, that's all. You know, we've been at this pretty intensely, maybe we could take a break and-"

"No," said Naruto immediately, cutting him off. "We don't have any time to waste."

"Come on Naruto, you have to relax sometime."

"I do – at night, sleeping."

Iruka sighed in annoyance. "I meant that you shouldn't ignore your social life Naruto."

"What social life? I have only one friend my age, and he's not exactly the hanging out type."

"Oh fine, I give up," said Iruka with resignation. "Just so you know… I'm really proud of you Naruto. Maybe you really are going to be the next Hokage."

Naruto's face split open in a toothy grin, and Iruka felt his worries melt away. It's still the same old Naruto.

- break -

After 2 months of tinkering with various puppets and folding paper animals, Sasori decided that Naruto merited 'a reward' – specifically, being taught some actual sealing arrays.

Explosive notes and storage scrolls were the poster-children for sealing arts – they were relatively simple to make and certainly simple to use, and extremely effective. As Naruto found out, however, the ones found in stores were merely the standardized versions of explosive seals and storage seals respectively… and Sasori intended to teach him more than that. Something that turned out to be surprisingly painless, considering that Naruto had been studying sealing theory for the past six months. Really, those two type of seals were _easy_.

The various way to tweak and supplement them were not.

As annoying it was to try over and over to make an explosive seal that explodes exactly 5 seconds after activation, activates when touched physically, channels the explosion in a narrow area, initiates a chain reaction with other explosive seals, and a multitude of other effects, he had to admit it was more fun than pouring over theoretical texts. And storage scrolls would be useful in everyday life as well missions – no more sore arms after buying groceries!

Another good thing was that he could make a small fortune selling explosive notes and sealing scrolls to stores – those things was expensive, seeing how one had to have massive chakra reserves to produce them in any appreciable quantity. He didn't do so, of course – it would definitely attract attention to him if he suddenly flooded the market for sealing products, and he didn't need this kind of drama right now. Besides, the money he got from doing Sasori's paperwork was more than enough for now.

It was at times like these that he couldn't help wonder why he's so secretive about Sasori and his training. Instinctively, he knew he must not draw attention to it, and should not tell anyone unless cornered. But intellectually, he couldn't figure out what frightened him so much about the Old Man or the academy instructors knowing he's getting help from Sasori. The red-head wasn't doing anything wrong, was he? Even Sasori merely 'suggested' that they keep their familiarity secret, not violently ordered him not to tell anyone. But Naruto trusted his instincts more than he did his intellect, and his instincts were quite clear that telling anyone about Sasori would be capital 'B' Bad Idea.

And what _really_ worried him was that nobody discovered anything by now. It's not like he was trying to keep things secret all that much. He stopped doing pranks, didn't pester Sakura and Sasuke anymore, his grades got better, he didn't shout his desire to become Hokage at random people anymore… and after some initial shock, everybody just shrugged and went on their way. Iruka had stopped inviting him to Ichiraku anymore, he didn't have a visit from the Old Man in the last three months, and his classmates no longer even looked twice at him for the most part. It was as if he fell under people's radar now that he wasn't disruptive. Everyone had better things to do with their time than worry about him, it seemed.

That just wouldn't do. Maybe he should reward himself with a nice juicy prank for being so damn good. Something bold. Something that would show people that the king of pranks is still in the game.

And he knew just the thing…


	4. Outcasts

Mitarashi Anko ran after her prey, darting through the deserted alleys like a cat after a particularly tasty mouse. That blonde brat had chose a wrong bar to fill with water. They didn't have her favorite brand of sake this week so she was already cranky, even without being soaked to the bone because of some juvenile prank. This… Naruto was it?... yes, only the Kyuubi container dressed in clothes like that… he was a perfect punching bag to vent her frustrations on.

She had to give the brat some credit though – he was fast and knew Konoha like the back of his hand. The other two Jounin gave up the chase 5 minutes ago. She didn't think a little kid could navigate the various dead-end streets and trash-lined alleys with such speed.

She sped up the pace, tired of the chase. She propelled herself on a nearby roof and overtook the blonde, jumping down on the path in front of him and forcing him to veer into the alley to his left. She was mildly surprised when he didn't slow down – considering his extensive knowledge of Konoha street layouts, surely he knew that alley was a dead end? She sped off after him, deciding she doesn't care.

It took all of the four seconds till they came upon the wall blocking off the path. It was far too high for the brat to jump over, and no pre-graduate knows how to walk over walls so this was the end. Her heart quickened when she considered what she was going to do with the kid once she catches him. Should she cut something off?

To her surprise the blonde didn't even slow down. Instead he threw a couple of kunai at the wall and used them as makeshift steps to scale the wall. Anko hissed in frustration. The kid was shrewd. It annoyed her. She was shrewd too, so why didn't she thought of that?

She jumped over the wall in one fluid arc and threw a kunai at the fleeing blonde. She aimed to his right calf, just enough to slow him down but nothing lethal. She missed.

Anko doesn't miss. Not against a little kid in an orange jumpsuit she doesn't! Meaning the kid actually dodged. That was almost as ridiculous! He had his back turned to her, there is no way he could have seen her attack. She was pretty sure he wasn't a Hyuuga. _She _could have dodged that, true, but she would have noticed the attack by the sound it makes as it flies through the air. Even if your hearing was sensitive enough, you can only get that kind of skill with practice. Lots and lots of practice. There is no way this snotling could have encountered that many thrown projectiles, is there?

Not really thinking she threw another kunai, this one aimed right at the back of his head. The moment she let the kunai fly, it hit her what she just did... she just threw to kill, on a little kid that didn't even graduate from the academy. She stumbled in shock for a fraction of a second, but the blonde just tilted his head to the side, letting the kunai whizz past him.

That gave her pause. On one side she was glad she didn't end up killing him – that would cause so much paperwork! – but on the other hand _he just dodged a kunai thrown at the back of his head_! _Her kunai_! This meant...

Anko laughed. She laughed and laughed, even as she reached into her kunai pouch and pulled out a whole stack of deadly metal objects. This meant she doesn't have to hold back anymore! Oh, this was going to be _grand_!

Her psychotic laughter seemed to spur the boy to run faster, amusing Anko even more. And an amused Anko is a scary Anko.

The kid dodged kunai after kunai, though he got nicked on his left shoulder twice. Only a fabric cut, but Anko was experienced enough to deduce things from that. The kid didn't have any systematic style it seemed, just improvised maneuvers driven into him through intensive exposure to projectiles thrown at him. He didn't know how to move his upper body properly, leaving his arms exposed, and he tended to move to his left when dodging. She licked her lips and aimed her next kunai at the blonde's left arm, and was rewarded by a yelp from the brat as the kunai cut into his forearm.

The kid dived into the street to his right, heading for the market district. Anko snorted. If he enters the crowd she won't be able to make pot-shots at him. She needed to end this.

The kid was good at dodging, but some things cannot be dodged. She grinned psychotically and threw a wide-area hail of kunai in his direction. The boy dived to the side, snatching a trash-can lid in the process and using it as a makeshift shield. Two kunai dived deep into the metal but were neutralized. The blonde dropped the lid without a second thought and ran onward.

The kid did manage to break into the market district, disappearing into the crowd. Anko cursed and jumped on a nearby roof to scan the teeming mass of people. It should be trivial to find someone dressed in glaring orange, but she could not find anyone. She was frantically inspecting the crowd and getting more annoyed every second when it occurred to her that she's being stupid. Orange clothes weren't such a crippling weakness when the perfect disguise is only one transformation technique away. She tried to spot any suspicious characters and quickly found a nervous-looking girl with flowing brown hair trying to slip out of the crowd on the other side of the market.

Got you, you little shit.

The look of surprise on the 'girl's' face as Anko smashed her foot into it was absolutely priceless. For a second Anko was worried she hit the wrong person but then the girl poofed in a cloud of smoke and an orange clad blonde hit the ground, rolling pitifully into a stack of trash cans. He got up quicker than Anko would have guessed, holding his hand to his bloody nose.

"Crazy lady!" he screeched. "What the hell is wrong with you! You could have killed me!"

"Please," said Anko. "If I wanted you dead you would be. That was just a light tap."

The blonde removed his hand from his nose and thrusted his bloody palm towards her. "This is not a light tap! I think you broke my nose!"

"No I didn't. I've seen enough broken noses to tell. Besides, you deserved it. What an earth gave you an idea to flood a Jounin bar, anyway?"

The blonde muttered something about crazy ladies under his breath. Anko thought it was cute – most people would use the word 'bitch' somewhere in there, but the kid studiously avoided using any 'naughty words'. Hell, he called her a lady! A crazy lady, but still…

"Come on kid – you're buying me dango."

"What! Why should I do that?"

''You led me on a chase across the entire village. Be grateful I haven't castrated you.''

Anko threw a napkin to Naruto so he can wipe his face somewhat and then dragged him off to her favorite dango stand. The kid made very little fuss as she set about eating her heavenly menu. She noticed the blonde was not only nursing his nose but also the arm she cut with her kunai.

"Oh don't be a baby," snickered Anko. "It's just a shallow cut."

"It burns and I feel a little sick. You poisoned that kunai, didn't you?"

Anko paused. "Sorry. I keep them in different pouches but sometimes they get mixed up. It's just-"

"Wasp-vine extract, I know. Since I'm not on the ground, lying in my own vomit, I'm guessing it's been at least a week since you applied it. It looses potency fast in air."

Anko stopped chewing for a second, listening to the kid. The brat was just full of surprises.

"How did you know that?"

"I've read a bit about poisons. And I had that particular one used on me before."

Anko continued with her eating. The fact that he had a knock-out poison used on him was mildly disconcerting, but the blonde had said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world, so she decided not to pursue the subject.

"Now I know how Old Man feels every time he takes me over at Ichiraku's," said Naruto unhappily as he watched the dango sticks pile up.

Anko looked at him curiously. "Is 'Old Man' who I think it is?"

"If you think 'Old Man Hokage', then yes."

Anko couldn't stop from snickering. The kid called Sarutobi an old man?

"You call him that to his face?"

"Of course."

"You're an interesting kid, brat. I'll let you buy me dango next week too."

Naruto glared at her. "You say that as if you're doing me a favor. Why would I _want_ to do something like that!"

"I'm sexy?"

"I'm 10, crazy lady. What you're-"

Anko looked at the brat curiously as he suddenly stopped, as if her realized something.

"You know what, crazy lady? I could buy you dango _every_ week…" said the blonde, grinning evilly. Anko didn't like that smile.

"In exchange for what?" asked Anko crankily.

"Teach me."

She snorted. "Don't you have the academy for that?"

"No. Most instructors just ignore me."

She looked at him suspiciously. She could understand him – the instructors at the academy ignored him because he was the Kyuubi container, and they ignored her because she was a total nobody. Until Orochimaru took her under his wing, of course, and that ended up in disaster. Truthfully, she was a bit flattered that he asked her, of all people, to teach him… well, anything. People were either freaked out by her or disgusted with her attitude. Hell, she nearly broke his nose less than an hour ago!

She devoured her last dango and motioned the blonde to pay for her meal.

"Meet me here next week at the same time and we'll see."

- break -

Naruto collapsed on the ground and closed his eyes, his stamina completely spent. The dust from the explosion bit into his eyes, but he could hear the slithering of a giant snake as it approached. Damn that psychotic woman, her summons, her seemingly limitless supply of kunai, and her thrice-damned explosive notes!

And this is supposed to the initial testing!

"Hey brat," Anko's voice called out to his left, and he felt a sharp kick explode in his side. "I guess your stamina _does_ have limits, ha?"

"Screw… you…" Naruto panted.

"Heh," was all she said.

It took him 3 weeks and a whole lot of dangos to convince Anko that she should try teaching him, and now he was starting to regret it. This 'initial testing' had taken the better part of the afternoon, and consisted of Anko trying to murder him. He had to use every trick he had, and while he knew that Anko wasn't _actually_ going all-out on him, she was certainly more serious than anyone he ever fought. He didn't know whether to be outraged or flattered that she felt he could withstand such onslaught and live.

"Well brat, after surveying your skills, I have to say you're not too shabby, but one thing is glaringly obvious to me – your kunai handling SUCKS! Seriously, who the hell taught you that rubbish?"

"No one. I just practice. It's not like there is some sort of science behind throwing kunai."

Evidently that was the wrong thing to say, because a kunai slicked his cheek open the moment he was finished. He was going to shout at her but found a kunai pressing into his neck and Anko crouched over him, whispering into his ear.

"What was that, brat?"

"N-nothing. Nothing…"

The pressure on his neck disappeared and Naruto found himself staring at Anko's smiling face. "Okay then, let's talk. Story time, yay!"

Naruto nodded, aware that it wasn't a suggestion.

"First of all," began Anko, "kunai aren't just for throwing. It you just wanted things to throw, there are specialized throwing knives that serve much better for that. A kunai is an amazingly versatile weapon. A piece of art."

Naruto resisted the urge to groan. It was Sasori and his puppets all over again.

"A kunai is light-weight, easily concealable, and fits perfectly between the ribs of annoying people you want to kill. It is sturdy and difficult to break, allowing it to be used effectively against vastly heavier weaponry. It is balanced for throwing and has a hole in the end that you can tie a rope or an explosive tag onto. You can use it as tool, a piece of a trap set-up, or makeshift steps to scale a wall and escape a crazy woman chasing after you. They are, in short, amazing – and you'll be learning all about it on your meetings."

"Oh come on," protested Naruto. "You can teach me something better than that. Using kunai is so… so…"

"Pedestrian?" offered Anko. "If it makes you feel any better, I won't be teaching you _just_ how to handle a kunai. You'll learn how to handle all common ninja equipment – explosive tags, smoke bombs, wires, and traps. You'll be thanking me later."

Naruto looked at her incredulously. "Why? What so special about all that stuff?"

"Tch," Anko scoffed. "Honestly, academy students these days… look, a wimpy little kid like you can't do shit against adults when it comes to taijutsu and you have next to no chakra reserves. The only way you're going to survive against other ninja is either through genjutsu or weapons. And you don't look like a genjutsu type to me. Really, weapons are awesome. They're very lethal, even in the hands of someone like you."

"Yes, well…" said Naruto without much enthusiasm. "I have just one issue with all this. I have _massive_ chakra reserves! So you can go ahead and teach me some actual techniques instead!"

"Hm…" said Anko, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, probably just to annoy Naruto. "How should I say this? No."

"Oh come on!"

"Nope, not happening. That would be putting far too much effort into this, all things considering. There is no sense in getting attached to an academy student to that extent. It's like getting attached to goldfish – no life expectancy. Come back to me when you're _at least_ a Chuunin if you want to learn some of my techniques."

Naruto glared at her. So much for a vote of confidence. He sighed. All this work and she wasn't even willing to teach him any techniques.

Total waste of his time.

"Plus, teaching techniques is much less fun that what I have in mind," continued Anko.

Naruto suddenly paled. He didn't think he liked Anko's interpretation of fun. And with the carrot of awesome techniques gone…

"Listen, Anko-san…" said Naruto nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "This whole thing seems to have been a big mistake. Why don't we just go our separate ways and-"

Naruto stopped as Anko started laughing. It wasn't a nice laugh. She snatched him by his shoulder and clasped down hard on his collar-bone, causing Naruto to suppress a scream of pain.

"Oh Naru-chan…" Anko said, leaning in so she could whisper into Naruto's ear. "Didn't anyone teach you not to do things half-way? You can't leave a girl dry like that, just when the things are heating up. You've got me all hot and sweaty, and you're not going anywhere until the climax."

"Ahh…" said Naruto, squirming in pain. The way she phrased it… it was wrong on so many levels it wasn't even funny! "I'm not sure what you're implying here Anko-san, but-"

Anko suddenly let go of him and stepped back. For a moment Naruto thought he was safe, but then the woman from hell pulled out a stack of kunai out of her pouch. The purplish sheen on them told Naruto that they were all coated with poison. His eyes widened.

"Run little piggy," said Anko with a crazed grin. "I want to hear you _squeal_!"

What else could he do?

He ran.

- break -

His heart was beating too fast, and no matter how much deep breaths he took he couldn't calm it down. He took a tentative step forward, nervously scanning the dense foliage around him looking for any sign of his opponent or his opponent's allies. The crickets in this forest were unusually loud, and their singing was drowning out Naruto's sensitive hearing, making it difficult to hear his opponent coming.

A low whistle was the only warning he got of an incoming attack. Only his trained reactions forged through his sessions with Sasori and Anko allowed him to jump sideways to evade a kunai barrage and then turn around fast enough to deflect a kunai thrust at his back. His opponent stood in front of him, silent and impassive, biding his time for a strike.

Shino was good.

A minute later Naruto was wondering if sharing all his insight about weapon handing with Shino was such a good idea. Shino had apparently practiced just as fervently as Naruto did, and he had more physical bulk than Naruto, allowing him to put more weight behind his attacks. Naruto thought that he would have advantage over Shino because he was exposed to a vicious opponent like Anko, but clearly Shino had someone just as skilled to practice with. He should have known really – Aburame are a fairly large clan, so there's bound to be a weapon specialist among them.

His ego somewhat hurt, Naruto decided to spice things up. Without warning the fingers in Naruto's free hand lit up and a glowing chakra scalpel sprung to life. Naruto swiped at Shino's shoulder, going for a shallow cut – the terms of the fight stated that the first person to draw blood wins – but though the scalpel bit into Naruto's opponent, something was wrong. It went too easily through clothes and flesh, and there was no blood. Shino in front of him collapsed into kikai, who rushed towards Naruto to engulf him.

Crap.

Naruto reached into his pouch and threw a couple of gas pellets at the rapidly approaching mass of insects before jumping back. The knockout gas billowed forth, dazing the mass of kikai, which collapsed on the ground, but Naruto accidentally inhaled some of it too. He could feel his head getting dizzy and tried to banish the feeling.

The poisons Sasori had been teaching him were certainly useful, but it was very tricky to use them without accidentally poisoning yourself as well. Of course, puppeteers like Sasori could cheat by having the puppet use poisons instead of themselves. A puppet couldn't poison itself, so it could use poisons a lot more freely than a flesh-and-blood human could.

He has to ask Anko how she uses poisons without harming herself in the process.

Despite Naruto's attempt to shrug off the daze induced by the knockout gas and reorient himself, it was too late. He felt a distinct feeling of kunai pressed against his neck, and he knew it was over. The blade slid gently across the skin of his neck, drawing blood but doing no real damage.

"I win," intoned Shino solemnly behind him.

Naruto sighed, batting Shino's arm away and leaning against a tree for support.

"Damn it, Shino… no matter what I do you're always so much beyond me it's not even funny. I couldn't even win against a damn _kikai clone_!"

"Just because the difference in our strength isn't shrinking doesn't mean you're not improving," said Shino. "Frankly, I'm a bit aggravated that you think I'll just sit back and let you catch up to me at your leisure. It's only logical for me to advance as well."

Naruto laughed. "Lighten up Shino, I'm just a sore looser, that's all. I have to say though, you're more amazing with each passing day. You stealthy enough that not even my ears can pick you up, you can do kikai clones, and I'm pretty sure that thing at the end was a genjutsu you caught me with."

Naruto's hand glowed as he healed up the cut on his throat.

"You're just as full of surprises," said Shino. "Your medic-nin abilities are advancing by leaps and bounds every time we meet. I still don't understand why you're keeping it a secret – the village needs medic-nins."

"Eh, we'll see after I become a Chuunin," said Naruto. "Sorry about your kikai, by the way. They'll be fine in an hour or so."

"They'll be fine in a matter of minutes," countered Shino. "Aburame bodies can purge kikai of weak poisons very quickly, as long as we pull back afflicted kikai back into our bodies."

"Oh."

Naruto sat down in at the base of the tree, and Shino followed his example and settles on the grass nearby. Naruto allowed a few minutes to pass in silence, resting and enjoying the sounds of the forest.

"How are your sealing studies going?" asked Shino.

Naruto grinned and pulled out a scroll case, spreading out a variety of paper tags and smaller scrolls on the grass between him and Shino.

"…so the exploding tags are actually quite simple," said Naruto in an upbeat voice. "The central array is basically simple chakra storage filled to the brink of overloading, and these adjacent arrays are smaller chakra storages connected with the central storage. When activated, the adjacent storage arrays start pushing chakra into the central array until it overloads. Boom! And that's it really. All these other arrays are just safety features to make sure the tags don't explode in your pocket or something. But this one over here…"

Naruto spent nearly an hour gushing about his creations to Shino. The Aburame made for a pleasant audience – if he was disinterested, he didn't show it. This was in contrast to Sasori, who always had some complaint for Naruto. While appreciating Sasori's honesty and desire to help Naruto get better, sometimes he just wanted an appreciating audience.

"It's amazing," said Shino finally. "Achieving this level of skill on a subjects as complex as sealing in such little time-"

"Eh, is not_ that_ amazing," said Naruto, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"I beg to differ," said Shino. "It is widely knows that learning sealing takes years, even decades, and requires considerable mental faculties."

"Only if you do it the stupid way," said Naruto. "Most ninja want results right away, so instead of studying the theory and mechanics behind sealing they just memorize the existing standardized arrays. However, doing that requires you to have extremely good memory, because you're learning the arrays through sheer effort and no insight. For these people, every array is its own thing, to be memorized separately. The path of instant gratification is also the hardest one in the long-term."

Naruto nodded to himself. He had combined one of Iruka's lectures with Sasori's remarks, producing something that sounded very teacher-like to his opinion. He even got the formal tone right!

He was sure that, had Shino's not been wearing his darkened glasses, he would see the Aburame rolling his eyes at Naruto's teacher impersonation.

Shino took one of the small storage scrolls Naruto made, turning it in his hand. "It's very interesting. It's a pity I'll never be able to master the field."

"Eh?" asked Naruto. "What are you talking about, Shino? I can teach you any time you want!"

"I'm afraid you can't. I lack the necessary chakra capacity."

"Umm… well, I'm sure there is a way for you to increase your chakra capacity somehow." said Naruto.

"There is, but none that would work on Aburame," said Shino. "In reality, all Aburame have large chakra reserves because our kikai are constantly draining us of chakra to feed themselves. Unfortunately, 80% of our reserves are contractually given to our kikai, so in practical terms out chakra reserves end up rather small. There is no way around that fact. That is why Aburame concentrate on taijutsu and genjutsu, as both use very little chakra. And our clan abilities granted by the kikai, of course."

"Oh," said Naruto.

He never considered the idea that there are drawbacks to being a living kikai colony.

"The kikai are also extremely vulnerable to any elemental technique except earth, but fire especially, and due to the way insects breathe they are sensitive to airborne poisons like the ones you used," continued Shino. "Because of these weaknesses and our low chakra capacity, Aburame have long been considered unsuited for direct combat, and thus our standing among the clans has suffered. I have always accepted that my clan is consigned permanently to the sidelines in the workings of the village, but seeing you strive and overcome adversity has motivated me to try and make things better. That is why I have worked this hard to improve myself."

Naruto stared at Shino wide-eyed. Though Shino's voice was calm, this was the most emotional speech Naruto was ever witnessed, and the most private to boot. Not to mention that Shino had just told him about a serious weakness his clan has, which spoke clearly at the level of trust the Aburame had in Naruto. Naruto was touched by the gesture.

"I will show everyone that Aburame aren't to be underestimated," said Shino with conviction. "I will revitalize my stagnating clan and stop our self-imposed isolation. We will stand back while others decide our fate no longer. This I believe. And you will become the next Hokage and help me in my task. Do you agree, Uzumaki Naruto?"

Naruto outstretched his hand, and Shino grasped it. Naruto almost moved to hug him, but he knew that such gesture would be a little too much, even in a moment like this.

"You better believe I agree," said Naruto with an ear-splitting grin. "Believe it."

"Can I ask you a personal question, then?" asked Shino.

"Sure."

"Why did you decide to approach me that day?"

Naruto stayed silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

"Everyone avoided you as much as possible," said Naruto finally. "At first I took it a sign that everyone knows something about you that I don't, so I avoided you too. Looking back, it was very… hypocritical… of me to complain about being judged prematurely and then acting that way, but at that point in my life I wasn't really thinking too closely about my choices. I just did things on the spur of a moment."

"So what changed?" asked Shino.

"Eh, I kind of got chewed out by a certain someone about my choices in life. I started thinking about my classmates and it occurred to me that you were the only one who never really mocked me or acted in a hostile manner. To tell you the truth, I didn't really think it would work. I thought you were just keeping your reservation about me hidden. Go figure. I wish I had approached you sooner."

Shino was quiet for full 10 seconds. Naruto knew he wasn't supposed to say anything but instead wait till the other boy responds, but waiting was killing him.

"I did have reservations about you," said Shino. "Your approach was… unexpected. Threatening. I suspected you were luring me into one of your pranks. When that proved incorrect, I tried finding an ulterior motive of some sort. Even when I failed in that, I was… skeptical… about the value of this friendship."

Strangely enough, Naruto wasn't hurt by those words. Surviving Sasori, Kabuto, and Anko made a guy pretty jaded when it came to words. If anything, he was glad that Shino was being so honest - he would not have been that blunt if he thought the blonde was too emotionally fragile to take it.

"Since I have started interacting with you," continued Shino, "I have advanced considerably due to your help. You possess a surprising amount of insight into many aspects of ninja existence, Uzumaki Naruto."

"Eh, stop it, my ego is big enough as it is. You helped me more anyway."

"We helped each other," corrected Shino. "And that is exactly my point: I would not have predicted any benefits from out friendship if I was asked for an assessment. This does not fit in well into my mental framework."

Naruto grinned. "You're just too cynical."

"Someone needs to curb your unwarranted optimism," said Shino blankly, though Naruto could detect a faint teasing in his voice.

Naruto took the resulting silence as an excuse to pulled out a sandwich he prepared for himself and bit down.

"If I may ask," said Shino after a while. "Why are you so sure I'm the only one receptive to your approach?"

Naruto swallowed and sighed. "I approached everyone. Every single person was aggravated by my presence. I suspect some of them don't really hate me but their friends do, or they think their friends do – group dynamics can be a pain like that – and they're not going to jeopardize their social standing and connections for a highly speculative benefit from associating with a stigmatized classmate."

"I like the way you're conversational skills have developed," remarked Shino.

Naruto looked at him incredulously. "Are you making fun of me?"

"Of course not," said Shino. "I'm just remarking that your speech is more precise and coherent than it was when we first started socializing with each other. In any case, I'm interested in your opinion about Hyuuga Hinata."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "What about her?"

"She has no friends either, to my knowledge, and she is not adversarial towards you."

"Not adversarial!" Naruto protested. "The girl refuses to even look at me when I speak to her! What do you call that, then?"

Shino quirked an eyebrow. "You think she hates you?"

Naruto shrugged. "It sounds plausible to me. It's not like she's the first girl who can't stand being around me. What do _you_ think?"

"She's shy."

Naruto remained silent for a while. It… made quite a lot of sense, actually.

"Oh."

"Now that we established that, will you approach her?"

"I donno," said Naruto. "I'm not really a fan of shy people."

"You weren't very likeable when we met either," remarked Shino.

Naruto sighed. "Fine, fine… I can see it's not really a suggestion. But you know, you could have simply invited her to join us yourself, if you wanted. I certainly wouldn't have objected."

"She wouldn't have accepted my offer," said Shino flatly. "It is imperative that you be the one to approach her, because you're the one she admires."

Naruto dropped his sandwich to the ground and fought back the blood that pooled into his face.

"M-m-me! Admires!"

"Yes," said Shino without a hint of emotion in his voice.

"B-but I'm not- There is nothing admirable about me!"

"Apparently she believes otherwise," said Shino. "She has expressed an admiration for your persistence in the face of adversity. She hopes to one day possess a strength of character matching yours, so that she may one day preserve in the face of her own obstacles."

Naruto clapped a hand over his mouth, trying to restart his brain. This was just too much. She thought so highly of him! What the hell did he _do_ to deserve such admiration?

"Naruto?"

"I'll see what I can do."

He glanced down at the dropped sandwich, but it was already beset by ants. It was just as well. He wasn't hungry anymore.

- break -

"Anko, why are you so brutal in out training sessions?" panted Naruto. "Iruka tells me that's a terrible way of teaching people stuff."

It was difficult to fit Anko's lessons into Naruto's routine – Anko's missions took her out of the village often, so their meetings followed a completely erratic schedule - but he managed. The fact that Anko unerringly tracked him down when he failed to show up helped his motivation.

And every once in a while Anko would get bored with how he's progressing and then they'd play a game of tag. No, no the children's game. In this game Anko threw kunai with explosive tags attached to them at Naruto and he had to run away and dodge to save his own hide.

She claimed she found their meetings 'therapeutic'.

"Well this Iruka doesn't know _shit_," said Anko. "Maybe when you're teaching bare basics, but afterwards the kid's gloves come off. If the academy instructors adopted my methods there would be far less dead genin around."

"Say what!" protested Naruto. "Anko, I respect you and all, but just because _I_ can survive your training…"

"Oh, stuff it brat. Do you really think I didn't tailor my attacks to your level of skill? I'm sure you've noticed that no matter how much you improve you're always pushed to your limits against me. That isn't accidental."

Naruto grunted and continued catching his breath. He sat in the lotus position on the grass and started plucking blades of grass from the patch in front of him.

"Listen," began Anko. "I've been in combat conditions, and the biggest reason genin die out there isn't because they lack skills to survive. It's because they freeze up during ambushes or panic once the fighting starts. So many graduates think they're oh so deadly but their training consisted of chucking kunai at static targets and doing friendly spars, so once they're thrown into an actual combat situation they break down. The ability to pull anything off in a real situation comes from training under real pressure – sparing against people who want to kick your ass and whose abilities you don't know."

Naruto looked at Anko, completely stupefied. She had a reason for behaving like she did! He figured she was just being sadistic!

"That's one reason I agreed to train you," remarked Anko. "Remember out initial testing?"

Naruto shuddered.

"Well anyway…" continued Anko. "You were unlike most other genin. You didn't freeze up when I attacked you and you remained lucid enough to use the terrain to your advantage. You didn't hold back against me, and it was clear you've practiced your throwing on _some_ sort of moving targets. You had stamina and you fought till your last breath. I was impressed, and by now I can honestly say that I didn't make a mistake. You've been doing good. Frankly, I've been purposely putting pressure on you, to see how long you'll last before you crack, but you just keep coming for more."

Naruto grinned widely.

"I hope I don't have to puncture your ego now," Anko remarked. "You know I like puncturing things."

Naruto immediately dropped his smile. He did know. Oh how he knew…

"Anyway…" continued Anko. "Today I was thinking I should- Yo, brat, what the hell are you doing?"

Naruto didn't bother to look up. He was sitting in a lotus position, palms outstretched in front of him, blades of grass gently circling in a ring above his palms like so many green ribbons.

"It's a chakra control exercise," answered Naruto.

"What does it do?"

Naruto raised his eyebrow, shooting Anko a glance. "Do? It improves chakra control. I mean, _obviously_, it's a chakra control exercise. What else would it do?"

Anko kicked his palms, scattering the blades of grass in his face and rudely breaking his concentration. Naruto glared at her.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Come here, brat, I'll teach you a _real_ chakra control exercise."

Naruto sighed and rose, dusting himself off. He stalked off after Anko, trying to burn a hole in her back using only his gaze. Really, why does she have to be so _aggravating_?

"Okay brat," said Anko, halting in front of a bunch of trees. "You're going to learn how to climb on trees."

"Anko…" Naruto began, rubbing his forehead.

"I know, I know… but watch."

Naruto stared incredulously as Anko stepped on the trunk of the tree and walked up as if gravity ceased to matter to her. Well damn.

"This…" began Naruto. "What kind of technique is that?"

"It's not a technique," said Anko. "It's a tree climbing exercise. It practices your chakra control _and _it's extremely cool to have. Now you can practice something useful instead of that silly crap you were doing."

Naruto scowled at her. He needed those exercises.

"So how the hell do I do that?" asked Naruto crankily.

"Just channel chakra to the soles of your feet and stick to the bark," said Anko grinning.

Naruto eyed her suspiciously – there was something she was not telling him, he was sure of it. He approached the tree and placed his foot on the bark. Channeling chakra to the feet was a bit of a bother but nothing Naruto wasn't through with already, and using chakra to stick things on you was ninja basics – hell, the very first exercise every ninja had to learn was to stick a leaf to your forehead. One of his feet still firmly on the ground, he started dragging the other foot over the bark, checking for traction. He scowled in Anko's direction – had he channeled too much chakra into his foot the bark would have exploded. Joke's on her though – he went through enough lessons about chakra from Kabuto and performed enough different chakra control exercises that he could adjust the needed amount perfectly. He made the foot stick to the bark and heaved his other leg on the bark as well, calmly walking up to where Anko was looking at him with disappointment on her face.

"I'm afraid there will be no explosions today, demon woman," said Naruto.

"Killjoy," Anko mumbled, before a devilish smirk erupted on her face. "So now that I've taught you something cool, you will tell me what's eating you up today?"

Naruto bit his lip. Should he tell her?

"Suppose I have someone who… admires me…"

"Snrrk…"

Naruto glared at Anko as she tried to stop herself from laughing and failing.

"It's not funny," he said with annoyance.

"Right," said Anko, schooling her features. "So what does she 'admires' you for?"

Naruto frowned. He didn't say it was a she. "For my, err, _perseverance_."

"Oh yeah, I bet you just keep going and going…" Anko mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean!" Naruto snapped, feeling a blush coming up.

"So when will you make a move on her?" asked Anko with a grin.

"Never," said Naruto flatly. "The girl has _serious_ confidence problems."

"You'd be amazed what a good fuck can do for a girl's confidence," said Anko, grinning brightly.

Naruto resisted the urge to attack her. Anko wasn't intimidated by violence - it would just tell her that this topic is one of his buttons. And boy did she love pressing people's buttons…

"Kami, you're insufferable," said Naruto. "We're both eleven, okay?"

"Ah, so you're saying you can't get it up yet?" asked Anko innocently.

Naruto gritted his teeth and absent-mindedly fingered his kunai. It would just amuse her, it would just amuse her, it would just…

Anko sighed after Naruto refused to attack her after a few seconds. "Come on brat, we're done here for today. I'm in a good mood right now so I'm buying you lunch."

_She's_ buying _him_ lunch? Oh this is gonna be good. He'll make sure to stuff himself like a pig to get back to her for all the dango expenses she incurs every week, not to mention for making fun of him after he just confided in her. He wasn't going to the Ichiraku's this time, he's going somewhere expensive. He henged into a brown-haired girl and went after her.

Anko looked at him curiously. "What's that about?"

"If I appear in my real form, store owners tend to sell me the worst merchandize they've got."

"Like that jumpsuit?" asked Anko.

Naruto pouted. Why is everyone so bothered by his jumpsuit? Anko at least shouldn't have the right to complain about_ anyone's_ choice of clothing.

"No, I chose that on my own. I like orange."

"It attracts attention."

"Maybe I want people to notice me," Naruto mumbled.

"Attention whore, huh?" she said, smirking, before mumbling something under her breath that Naruto probably wasn't meant to hear. "One more thing we have in common, I guess."

- break -

"Still trying?" Sasori asked.

Naruto exhaled in frustration and continued rummaging through the puppet's insides. His attempt to somehow improve upon Sasori's design was not going anywhere. There was this baffling simplicity and robustness in the puppet before him, and any change he tried to make only made things worse. Even when it seemed he succeeded, it turned out that there was some variable he forgot to take into account. Sasori claimed that each of these standardized puppets was a product of years of testing in real battle conditions, and it certainly showed.

For his part, Sasori was more than willing to answer any question Naruto had about any of his puppets. Even though Naruto had been trying to make his own puppet for a while now, all his attempts paled before the creation before him. And the simple fact was that if he couldn't make something better than a standardized puppet, it was better to just use a standardized one than trying to reinvent fire. Not that he was ready to give up yet.

He glanced to the shade of the tree where Sasori was working on a new puppet. This puppet was somehow special – Sasori disappeared for three days outside Konoha 'to procure the necessary materials' and then shut himself in for two more days, emerging with a disturbingly human-like puppet. The puppet master now spent his time tinkering with it, leaving Naruto mostly to his own devices.

Well, that's not totally true – Sasori started teaching Naruto the art of information gathering whenever he found the time. It was both more fun and far more stressful than his other lessons. The basics were talky stuff: lectures about gathering information 'in plain sight', drawing conclusions from misinformation, not giving anything important away in conversations, interrogation procedures, common ways that people hide objects (and actually effective methods as a counter-examples), best places to begin searching for someone or something, how to research public records and libraries, things like that. But instead of testing Naruto's retention through verbal questions, Sasori gave him 'missions' to accomplish. Some of them were merely pranks with some concrete goal underneath, but most were pretty bizarre. Go to the library and reconstruct the state of politics in the elemental countries during the third ninja war. Find out the names of the Chuunins guarding the village gate. List the names and locations of all ninja shops in Konoha. And so on. Some of the missions were silly-easy and some of them were the most nerve-wracking things Naruto ever did in his entire life.

Personally, Naruto suspected Sasori gave him those mission just to get rid of him while he tinkers on his beloved puppets, but he did them anyway. Not unexpectedly, these these information gathering efforts did not go completely unnoticed and earned him a visit to the Hokage's office. Fortunately, Sasori had drilled into Naruto just what to do in a situation like that.

"Communicate clearly. Provide details liberally," Sasori had said. "Remember to deliver your lines with utter conviction and absolutely no hesitation. The lie detecting abilities of most authority figures are completely mythical, and mostly come down to detecting fear and incoherence of speech as signs of deception. Don't contradict the facts. Speak either in half-truths or non-sequitors that require your targets to make conclusions themselves. People are always more willing to believe something they think they figured out themselves."

In line with that, Naruto was honest with the Old Man, flat-out telling him he was practicing information gathering and describing his accomplishments in great (and mostly unnecessary) detail. He didn't tell the Old Man where he got the idea for it, but he dropped Shino's name so many times in his conversation that he was sure the Old Man thought of the Aburame as his teacher. Since Naruto _did _talk to Shino about his information gathering efforts, it wasn't exactly a lie. The story seemed plausible to Naruto, and the Old Man thought so too – greatly amused, he told Naruto to notify him if he finds out anything. Even gave him some pointers.

Naruto sighed. Sasori may be skimping on his duties as his mentor a bit, but at least he doesn't want to look at the seal again – lying half-naked while an older boy looks meaningfully at your navel and occasionally pokes you in the stomach is an embarrassing way to spend the day.

"Say, Sasori," began Naruto, "why are you always tinkering with those? Don't you have enough puppets already? I counted at least 15."

Sasori scoffed. "That's nothing. I once had in excess of 200 of them. I'm only now starting to rebuild my collection."

Naruto looked at his in confusion. As far as he knew, it wasn't possible to control more than 10 puppets, no matter how good you were. 200 puppets was a definite overkill, but more importantly…

"Uh, how did you lose 200 puppets?"

"Perished in battle, I'm afraid," said Sasori blandly. "I nearly went with it, for that matter. You see, I was a member of a rather… unpleasant organization whose operatives work in pairs, and my partner decided to leave the organization. I tried to stop him and… failed."

Naruto could detect a faint but noticeable undercurrent of anger in Sasori's voice. Then again, he knew first-hand how much Sasori cared for his puppets, and just how difficult it was to make even one, let alone 200. Loosing 200 puppets was kind of harsh. The sheer amount of wasted effort was bad enough, even if one wasn't as emotionally attached to their creations as Sasori was.

"So, um… who is this guy anyway?"

Sasori sighed. "An S-ranked missing-nin of the Leaf called Orochimaru."

Naruto stopped breathing for a moment. Several or Sasori's 'missions' in information gathering concerned finding information about this guy. He was one of the three legendary Sannin, a student of the Old Man, and an all-around unpleasant character.

The fact that Sasori was his _partner_ said all sorts of not-nice things about his red-headed friend.

"Uhh…"

"I am not a particularly nice person Naruto," said Sasori, somehow aware of his thoughts. "I only came to Konoha because it was the best place to lay low and rebuild by strength. Taking a jinchuuriki as a disciple was definitely not what I had planned to do, yet that is how things turned out."

"You know Sasori, you never told me that before," said Naruto cautiously.

"You didn't earn my trust before. There is a lot you don't know about me."

Naruto chuckled. He had come to love Sasori's no-nonsense nature, with his forthright answers and lack of sugar-coating. He filed 'Orochimaru' under one of Sasori's buttons that he can push to make him more talkative – the other two being 'art' and 'puppeteering' respectively.

"Can you just tell me something?" asked Naruto.

"Ask and I shall consider it," Sasori said.

"How come I've never been this good at learning stuff before you came along? I don't mean to belittle you or anything, but you haven't done _that_ much. And yet, when I look at myself – how I was before and how I am now – I'm a completely different person. How did you _do that_?"

"All I did was give you a chance to be judged," Sasori said.

Naruto blinked. "Huh?"

"People always try to coast through life with the least amount of effort necessary," began Sasori. "Left unchecked, they rationalize away the reasons they should do their best, or even do at all. What keeps people in check is judgment of people they care about. They want their parents to be proud of them, their love interests to notice them, the people they admire to befriend them… so they try. These connections to other people are strings that constantly tug at you, pulling you in this or that direction. Without these strings to tug at them, people, like puppets, are inclined to do nothing at all."

"Uhh…" started Naruto. "I don't think you can really compare people to puppets, Sasori…"

"Perhaps. But assuming I'm correct for a moment, what happens when someone becomes disconnected from the strings? When everyone a person cares about dies or leaves, or when they never had anyone to begin with? They are left adrift in an empty world, without ties to other people, and thus very little purpose in their lives."

Naruto inhaled deeply. He wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

"You were born an orphan," continued Sasori. "Your only link were the Hokage and the owners of Ichiraku, but they were weak links, and their judgment was feeble. What reason did you have to try hard at being a good ninja? Who is that would have judged you, truly judged you, for not trying hard enough? It was up to you, and you alone to determine when to stop trying – to convince yourself that there really is a solution to your problems, and that all you need to do is find the path towards it. Few people can do that."

Naruto was silent, listening to Sasori's words with a deepening frown.

"The thing that makes you different from your younger self is that you've eliminated the doubt and fear that you might be wasting your time," continued Sasori. "You have a mentor that told you there is a solution, and that it is within your ability to achieve. Not only does this boost your confidence by making you feel entitled to success, it makes you afraid of disappointing me and thus less likely you'll just give up because you found a plausible-sounding reason why you shouldn't bother."

"W-Well…" tried Naruto. "Old Man also encouraged me to-"

"Exactly," said Sasori. "Encouraged. He offered you his compassion, not his unbiased opinion. You desire _my_ encouragement because you know it's not guaranteed. It is in the nature of judgment that it can damn as well as bless, else it has no power."

"But I've had plenty of people, uh, damn me," said Naruto.

"And who were they to you? Random strangers dismissing you without a moment's thought? There was no more judgment in that than in Hokage's encouraging words. A string always has two ends. Before my opinion could carry weight with you, you have judged me yourself and found me to be worthy of respect, someone whose opinion could go either way."

Naruto exhaled heavily. "Man, I guess it makes kind of sense but… you're saying the only reason I'm good is that I've got people constantly watching over my shoulder?"

"Not just you. Everyone."

"Hmph. I don't think I like your view of people, Sasori. So how do you explain me getting more accepted by people around me? Somehow, my recent attempts at talking to people go a lot better than they did in the past."

Sasori got a far-away look for a moment. "First of all, when I met you, you were… clingy. You were talking my ear off with all sorts of random things, and you were following me like a lost puppy after I showed you a minor gesture of good will. There was an air of desperation about you, and desperation only attracts vultures."

Naruto inhaled heavily and resisted the urge to protest. Ouch. Hearing that really fucking _hurt_! He was accustomed to Sasori's deadpan explanations by now, but couldn't he have been just a little gentler!

"Secondly, you're actually useful to people now. You weren't before."

"What do you mean I wasn't before!" exploded Naruto. "There was plenty I could do! And you're really full of shit, Sasori, people don't think like that! Nobody goes around trying to find the most useful person around."

"Of course not," agreed Sasori. "They think about choices. What you have to understand is that most people are neither orphans nor social pariahs, and have considerable obligations to their family and existing friends. You must have noticed that now that you've made some friends and started taking your training seriously you free time has reduced drastically, forcing you to prioritize things. People have a routine that takes up most of their time and some buffer for unexpected circumstances, and you have to make it worth their while if you want them to rearrange their life to accommodate you in it. Otherwise it makes more sense for them to consolidate their existing relationship rather than forge one with you."

Naruto fell silent, unwilling to continue the discussion any longer. He reached into his backpack and made a small fire to boil a pot of water. Four cups of instant ramen patiently waited till he's finished.

Even after all this time, Naruto still found Sasori's opinions deeply unsettling. Yet he kept asking for them! Maybe it really was truth that he desired his judgment, his opinion, that double-edged sword that can both kill and heal.

Or maybe he's just a masochist. After all, he once had an unhealthy obsession with Sasuke and Sakura, he had accepted Anko as a teacher, and regularly tempted irate villagers with his pranks. Really, Sasori was just completing the pattern. The only people in his social circle that weren't either brutally blunt or a danger to the unwary were Old Man and the Ichiraku's, and they didn't really hang out around him all that much. Maybe that's why he didn't like Hinata all that much – not aggressive enough.

He tried imagining Hinata yelling at him and bopping him in the head, and was disturbed to find he actually found this fictional aggressive Hinata rather cute.

He slammed his head into the tree behind him. Bad thoughts, bag thoughts, BAD THOUGHTS! The last thing he needs is another Sakura. He decided he wasn't going to distract himself with romance for the foreseeable future, and that decision stays! Besides, Hinata was not confident and aggressive. She was deferential, indecisive, and prone to fainting and panic attacks in stressful situations. She was…

'…_desperation only attracts vultures.'_

…desperate. Hinata was desperate, so desperate that she latched on to _him_, of all people, as her idol. Her insecurities were a big juicy target for anyone unscrupulous enough to target her.

That's when he decided that he would help Hinata overcome her despair, just like Sasori helped him. He didn't know if he was up to the task, but he figured he would just repeat what Sasori did with him - he would give her a chance to be judged.

"Hey Sasori, want some ramen?" he called out to Sasori.

"I already ate," Sasori answered.

"You always say that! I'm beginning to think you don't like ramen. You're not that sort of freak, are you?"

"Of course not."

"Good, because ramen is the food of the gods! It's so good that-"

"Naruto, if you don't shut up about ramen I'll sew your mouth shut."

Naruto clacked his tongue. Possibly the creepiest thing about Sasori's threats was that he deployed them so calmly and without changing the inflexion of his voice too much. He would say horrible things with the same voice he always used, like he was talking about the weather instead of threatening to gut you like a sardine. He really should leave the puppet master when he's tinkering with his puppets.

He really should.

"What do you think about by eating habits?" asked Naruto suddenly.

Sasori looked at him in obvious surprise. Naruto grinned, pleased that he managed to throw the older boy out of tact.

"What?"

"Everyone is always nagging me about how much ramen I'm eating. Do you think they're right?"

"One of the major downsides of having high chakra reserves is an increased need for calories. And when it comes to calories, few foods can match raw carbohydrates. Like, say, noodles. Unfortunately, noodles are rather bland by themselves so most people add some sort of flavor to them. Like putting them in a soup or broth."

Naruto stared at Sasori in surprise.

"So no, I don't think they're right," concluded Sasori. "You're not getting fat so it's obvious your body needs all that food. If anything, you should eat more of that stuff."

Naruto's eyes started tearing up, confusing Sasori.

"Naruto wha-"

"YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND EVER!" Naruto shouted, lunging at Sasori.

"No hugging!" hissed Sasori. "Stay right where you are!"

"Quickly, what do you think about my outfit!" said Naruto.

"You could wear a clown suit for all I care," said Sasori crankily. "What did I tell you about physical contact?"

"Sorry," said Naruto, rubbing the back of his head. "I forgot you don't like touching."

"If you 'forget' again, I'm going to sic my puppets at you," Sasori warned. "The poison-using ones."

"Okay, okay, I get it!" said Naruto. "I get it."

- break -

Naruto watched in concentration and coins on the tips of his fingers continued to spin. Balancing a spinning coin on the tip of your finger was no mean feat, but that wasn't the end-stage of this chakra exercise. With great concentration, he made one of the coins instantly grind to a stop, one of it's sides pointing towards Naruto. After a moment of admiration for his achievement, he set the coin spinning in the opposite direction.

After a few such feats, he started stopping and restarting the coins in quick succession in a rather mesmerizing display. Truthfully, he had mastered this particular exercise months ago, but it still wasn't as easy for him to perform as he'd like, and Hinata wanted a demonstration.

He glanced at the Hyuuga girl sitting beside him as she stared at Naruto's little show with wide eyes. Really, it wasn't _that_ impressive. It was actually rather depressing how quickly she mastered the first three exercises, compared to him – he spent 4 weeks getting those right, and she did them effortlessly on her first try. She did mention that Hyuuga had a more intensive regimen of chakra control exercises, since their prized yuuken depended so much on chakra control, but she was clearly more gifted at this than he was.

Approaching Hinata was really a chore – the first time he walked up to her and tried to strike up a conversation she froze up and refused to speak at all. If it weren't for all those information gathering missions Sasori made him do, he probably wouldn't have enough experience in approaching people and would have screwed up badly. As it was, he thrashed the idea of making casual conversation and asked her for help with the material they were learning. She loosened up a bit after that, but she was still weird, periodically giving him strange looks and apologizing way too much for every silly little thing (and sometimes for things that seemed to exist only in her head). It took a two months till he got her to speak about anything other than class material – seriously, even Anko was easier to crack! – but once Naruto got in his mind that he should help her, he wasn't going to quit easily.

His attempts to have her practice with him were more thorny still. When he tried to talk her into sparring with him she shot him a look of pure terror and started hyperventilating like he just threatened to cut her up. He shelved that idea for the foreseeable future. She was, however, _very_ interested in the chakra control exercises he was doing. He wasn't sure why, since she had absolutely no trouble with academy jutsu, but he gave her a copy of the scrolls he got from Kabuto and gave her some direction, after which she took it up with startling ease. Well, startling to Naruto.

Feeling somewhat self-conscious he pushed a bit of chakra into two of the coins, causing them to launch into the air. Deftly maneuvering his fingers he managed to catch them both, only now their places were reversed. This wasn't a step outlined on the scroll, and required more than just chakra control – it required the sort of manual dexterity that few people possessed. Unless you were undergoing puppeteer training, that is. Originally Naruto designed this step so he can kill two birds with one stone and all that, but currently he was just plain showing off. He started juggling the coins around, showing Hinata that yes, she's way better than him in this chakra control business, but she has a long way to go to match his _pure awesome_.

Why yes, he was being awfully petty, why do you ask?

He yelped in surprise and dropped all his coins when something slammed on the bench beside him. He looked wild-eyed at the source of the sound, only to find a strange looking box beside him and an annoyed looking Shikamaru.

"You. Me. Shogi. Now," intoned Shikamaru.

Naruto sat there, stupefied. This was just so… surreal.

"Ha?"

Shikamaru sighed. "I didn't say anything when you got better at accuracy. I bore it when you got better at taijutsu. But now you're going to work on your written scores too? Have you no mercy? I though you hated history and crap like that."

Naruto frowned. He had noticed that Shikamaru's scores rose in step with his own, but he never cared much about it. After all…

"Did it ever occur to you that you don't really have to match my scores Shikamaru? Your scores as well above average by now, so your mother has no reason for concern anymore."

"Learning and training is troublesome," said Shikamaru with a sigh, "but I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror every morning if I scored lower than a dope like you."

Naruto's face split open in a toothy grin. "You do realize I'll work that much harder, now that I know I'll be dragging a lazy ass like you with me, right?"

"That is why I'm here," said Shikamaru, straightening himself up. "I am issuing you a challenge."

"A challenge?" Naruto liked challenges.

"A shogi match."

"Shogi?" asked Naruto, as if Shikamaru suggested they play with a diseased carcass.

"Shogi," repeated Shikamaru. "If I win, you have to keep your scores right where they are."

Naruto glanced over Shikamaru's shoulder, seeing Chouji hanging back, giving him an apologetic look.

Naruto was torn. On one hand it was a challenge, and he didn't like backing down from challenges. On the other hand, it was shogi. Naruto wasn't very good at that game, and everyone knew Shikamaru practically breathed it. If Shino was here, he would undoubtedly short-circuit this in short order. Come to think of it, this was probably why Shikamaru chose to do this now – Shino was absent because of clan business, so this was one of the few opportunities where Shikamaru could catch Naruto without his sensible friend.

He glanced at Hinata, but she seemed to be trying to retract her limbs and head into her jacket, like a turtle. He would be getting no help from her.

"And if you lose?" asked Naruto.

"Name something," said Shikamaru lazily.

"You'll have to spar with me once a week," said Naruto.

Shikamaru seemed to mull over it in his head.

"Alright. Let's do this."

"Wait," said Naruto. "I didn't say I accept. We were just discussing the terms. If I am to accept this, I have one additional rule."

Shikamaru frowned. "You can't just add rules to shogi."

"It's just a simple time limit," said Naruto cheerfully. "Every move has to be made within a 3 seconds time-frame. Chouji will time it. It's just so the game is done before the lunch break ends, you know?"

Shikamaru's frowned deepened, and Naruto could tell he was thinking furiously. Naruto didn't really blame him - he _was_ trying to lure Shikamaru into a trap.

Naruto had, in fact, played shogi before – a while back Old Man tried to get him to play, but Naruto found it too frustrating. It's not that the rules were complicated – he got the rules easily – it's just that he found it impossible to keep the mind on the game for half an hour or more it took to finish a round. That wasn't fun, and games were supposed to be fun.

He knew there was no way he could beat Shikamaru in a classical game of shogi, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the lazy boy doesn't work well under pressure. Naruto didn't mind the 3 second limit – he would have made a move within that time-frame anyway – but Shikamaru like to mull his options for a few minutes and look the situation from all angles. It was a gamble, but he thought he had a chance in this kind of setup.

Shikamaru moved to unpack the board but Naruto beat him to it. If Shikamaru was in charge of setup he would have taken his time and Naruto didn't want him to gather his bearings. He set the board up as quickly as he could, motioning Chouji to come. He handed a wrist watch to Chouji and told him to shout if one of them goes over the time limit. From the corner of his eye, Naruto could see Hinata emerge from her jacket and edge closer so she could see the game.

"All right," said Naruto cheerfully. "Standard rules, but failure to move a piece within 3 seconds is equivalent to a forfeit. As the one being challenged, I move first. Start!"

Shikamaru scrambled into his seat, caught off-guard by the speed with which things were developing. He was doing great at first, probably because he memorized every possible opening and response to it, but as the game progressed Shikamaru started showing signs of stress – his every move was straining the time limit and he was getting sloppy. Naruto ignored the first few openings so as to not put Shikamaru on guard and then, when he felt the boy's latest lapse was too good to ignore, launched his offensive.

"I win," said Naruto, trying and failing to hide the glee in his voice.

Shikamaru said nothing – he stared at the board in shock, silent and unmoving. Naruto was almost sorry for him.

Almost.

"This isn't shogi…" Shikamaru mumbled under his breath, staring at the board. "Shogi is thinking game. You think carefully and you make your move. There wasn't enough time. There just… wasn't enough time."

Naruto sighed. Now _he_ was starting to become depressed.

- break -

Once a week Naruto would meet up with Shikamaru on the training ground designated to academy students and spar with him. Oh, the lazy ass tried to sabotage the spars with passive resistance, but Naruto stopped that pretty quickly – his viciousness was negatively correlated with the amount of effort Shikamaru displayed on his part. In one instance he even resorted to using Shikamaru as target practice. He had to at least admit that Shikamaru was true to his word and didn't just go back on their deal, despite constant mumblings of 'troublesome' and demands for a rematch.

Where Shikamaru went, Chouji followed, and Naruto found Akamichi nice to talk to every once in a while. He did manage to rope Chouji into sparring with him a few times, but the Akamichi clearly wasn't ready to make an effort and Naruto didn't have a contractual excuse to go vicious on him as motivation, so he stopped asking.

After a warm up with Shikamaru, Naruto would get his ass handed to him by Shino, who took these meetings as an opportunity to 'synchronize schedules for common benefit'. His best friend continued to getting better just as rapidly as Naruto did, despite Naruto's efforts.

Probably the most infuriating thing about fighting both with Shikamaru and Shino was their relative immunity to attrition fighting that was Naruto's greatest strength. Now that he rounded up his taijutsu basics, he often won academy spars against other people simply by outlasting his opponents, pressing for attack once they're too winded to defend effectively. But these two had a certain economy of movement that allowed them to last just as long as Naruto did.

Shikamaru's lazy-looking stumbling had a certain flowing quality, using just enough energy to move out of the way and no more. His style of fighting empathized dodging and using the opponents momentum against him, but the most insidious thing was that, at the first glance, it looked like a bastardized version of 'academy standard' rather than a highly effective style that it actually was. It made people underestimate Shikamaru and over-extend themselves, trying to capitalize on non-existent weaknesses and leaving themselves vulnerable as a consequence.

Shino, on the other hand, executed his movements with mechanical precision and regularity. He utilized blocking and solid footing to destabilize his opponents and never made any obvious errors or openings one could use. There was no feints or tricks in his attacks and defenses – just pure, unyielding skill that was actually quite intimidating when you had to face it. Again, the style looked superficially like 'academy standard', but Shino was using it completely unlike what they were taught in the academy. He doubted many people could notice this, but after all that time of having basic stances and principles drilled into his head by Iruka, he was pretty sure he could detect differences in the flow of movements from one person to another.

Shino and Shikamaru used 'academy standard', but it was a version of it unique to them or, more likely, unique to their clans.

After a few weeks another person joined their little sparring club, although Naruto had to admit he was less than pleased when Kiba showed up one day, saying he heard there was some sort of competition going on.

Much like he mistook Hinata's shyness for dislike, Naruto had mistook Kiba's boisterous attitude and vicious insults for rabid hostility. In truth, the Inuzuka just had an intense personality and tended to fling insults at the drop of a hat. It wasn't that he hated Naruto specifically, he just didn't mince words around him and spoke aloud what his classmates whispered about him behind his back. Kiba was, Naruto understood now, looking for a challenge. His idea of a friendly interaction was a light brawl and a round of exchanging boasts and colorful epithets for a few minutes. Once Naruto figured that out, he was all too glad to play along, to Shino's embarrassment.

Kiba wasn't bad at fighting, but he heavily relied on his dog to distract opponents – a tactic that was very effective against other academy students that never faced more than a single opponent. Naruto, having experience against Sasori's puppets and Anko's snakes, couldn't be had that easily. He still got beaten into the ground by Kiba, but the fight left the dog-boy winded and appreciative of a 'tough opponent' like Naruto. Kiba's movements were sloppy and wasteful – he relied on brute strength and berserker rushes to end the fight quickly. Protracted fights seemed to be his bane, and Naruto was certain that in a month or two he could read his style well enough to withstand the initial rush and then show him what he thinks about his alleged 'unbeatability'.

Thus begun their rivalry/friendship. To everyone else it must have seemed like they were worst enemies, constantly yelling insults at each other and fighting, but Naruto relished the company of someone who was as uninhibited and energetic as he was. Kiba was never a close friend like Shino, or even Hinata – the boy had an ego bigger than that of Sasuke and Naruto's pre-Sasori self combined, so Naruto could only take Kiba's company in small doses – but Naruto found him to be an all-around okay character.

And of course Hinata was there, though she didn't want to spar and Naruto didn't want to bother her about it. Instead she worked on chakra control exercises under Naruto's guidance. He actually managed to weasel out the reason she was so instant on learning them: Hinata wanted to be a medic-nin! That is she kinda, sort of, maybe wanted to learned how to heal people if it weren't totally unbefitting of a Hyuuga heiress to choose a support role rather than taking the lead and oh god, please don't tell anyone!

He started teaching her anatomy, giving her a copy of his annotated notes so she could study them at home. She would never really match his skill without practicing on cadavers like he did, but he doubted Hinata could stomach something like that at this point. Baby steps.

Baby steps. He would accomplish his goals slowly and meticulously, one step at the time.


	5. Forbiddance

Just to be safe, I want to clarify something: The only 'real' teachers Naruto has are Sasori and Kabuto. The influence of everyone else is more important for its effects on character interaction than actual ability acquisition – they haven't taught Naruto anything he shouldn't already know as a soon-to-graduate genin. In other words: they're introduced for plot reasons, not to make Naruto awesome.

Now on to the story.

- break -

With an animalistic snarl, Kiba rushed again at Naruto, who simply sidestepped the charge and delivered a vicious kick to Kiba's side. Once again Kiba dropped to the floor, but this time he didn't scrambled up to continue fighting.

"Naruto wins," Iruka said.

Kiba shot Naruto a glare as he finally managed to get up, stomping away without a word.

Naruto sighed in frustration. He didn't understand what the Inuzuka was so upset about. It was an official academy spar, they were supposed to fight at their best. It wasn't Naruto's fault that he couldn't use Akamaru in this fight, it wasn't him making the rules.

It was kind of sad, though – without Akamaru to distract the opponent, Kiba's fighting style was extremely ineffective. Too straightforward. All that power behind Kiba's strikes was wasted unless he had someone to limit his opponent's movement and herd them into the right spot. Naruto would have given Kiba some pointers on how to be more effective when fighting solo, except that he knew Kiba wouldn't appreciate any advice from Naruto.

"And that concludes this month's academy spars," said Iruka. "You all did fine, but the final exams are approaching so don't forget to practice. I'll see you all tomorrow. Naruto, could you stay behind for a bit?"

Naruto frowned. It's been a while since he was last asked to stay behind after the class. He couldn't remember doing anything that would warrant it. Maybe he really was a bit too harsh on Kiba? He supposed being taught by the likes of Sasori and Anko made him a bit more vicious than what the typical academy student was accustomed to.

"Is there something wrong?" asked Naruto.

"Hm? Oh no, nothing like that," said Iruka cheerfully. "No, I want to talk to you about something else. It's about your remedial classes…"

"What about them?" asked Naruto suspiciously.

"Well…" began Iruka. "Thing is, you're no longer a problem student, Naruto. With the graduation approaching, I think it would be best if I focus on people who actually _need_ additional assistance."

Naruto stared at Iruka for a few seconds, mulling things inside his head. He didn't need to have things spelled out for him to understand what Iruka was saying: he was canceling Naruto's remedial classes, pure and simple. Now, this in itself wasn't so much of a problem – after all, Naruto had already received most of the benefits of those classes by now – but it was very unlike Iruka. Just a week ago Iruka was trying to expand the remedial lessons to cover history of Konoha. So where did this come from?

"I… suppose that's sensible," said Naruto cautiously. "I did patch up my taijutsu already."

"Exactly!" agreed Iruka. "In fact, the only students better than you in taijutsu are Sasuke and Shino. You're quite acceptable for a rookie genin when it comes to taijutsu."

"Right," said Naruto. "It's just a bit unexpected, that's all…"

"Ah, yes… that it is," said Iruka happily. "Hokage-sama was so pleased with the results of your remedial classes he gave me permission to organize them on a permanent basis for students identified as struggling with the academy material."

"Really?" asked Naruto curiously.

"Yes. I had been asking for it for quite some time, actually, but I never really thought it would be granted. Disputes about what policies the academy should take on any particular issue usually get quite heated, and I'm not exactly a high-ranking ninja…"

Naruto honestly doubted Iruka would see a repeat of his success with other students, seeing how there was a number of factors in Naruto's success that Iruka knew nothing about, but he wished the man all luck in his endeavor and left.

Something didn't sound right in all this, though Naruto couldn't tell what. That got him concerned. When he went to find Kabuto and instead received a coded signal from the creepy medic-nin, telling Naruto to stay away from him for a while, he knew that something was _really_ rotten. That got him frightened.

When he got home and found Anko knocking at his door, he knew things had gone completely to hell, and was having a hard time not panicking.

"Hey Naruto, where do you keep sake?"

Naruto grumpily looked at Anko as she went through his drawers without any regard for privacy. When he told her to make herself at home he didn't think she'd take it so literally.

"I'm twelve, Anko" said Naruto. "I don't have any sake in my apartment."

Anko sniffled disapprovingly. "Lame."

Naruto went to the fridge to retrieve a bottle of orange juice and poured both of them a glass. Anko looked at her glass reprehensively but then shrugged and downed it all in one go.

"Naruto, I can't teach you any more," Anko said casually.

"W-what?"

"Out training lessons. I can't help you there anymore."

"Yes you can! You haven't taught me a fraction-"

"Naruto," she said forcefully, her face more serious than he ever saw her before, "I _can't_ teach you any more. Get it?"

Things clicked inside his head. It was _that_ kind of can't.

She's been ordered not to.

"Is it because _you're_ teaching me, or because you're teaching _me_?"

"This is a really good orange juice, Naruto-kun," answered Anko cheerfully.

Naruto nodded to himself. So they're being eavesdropped too.

"Yes it is. So is this it? Our last meeting, never to meet again?"

"Hell no," answered Anko. "I'm like a bad rash - you can't get rid of me that easily. I can't _teach_ you anymore, but no one said we can't hang out like buddies! Unless you were just using me and now I'm no use to you…"

She tried giving him puppy eyes but it just freaked him out. Puppy eyes do not belong on someone like Anko.

"Oh be quiet, you know you'll always be my crazy lady," said Naruto. "If anything I'll be glad you're not trying to kill me every 5 minutes."

"Technically, there is no prohibition on that either," said Anko thoughtfully.

"Anko…"

"Anyway, let's talk."

"About what," asked Naruto suspiciously. Anko's stories were inevitably embarrassing to listen to. He still remembered her 'advice' as to what to do with Hinata.

"Buddy stuff!" Anko said with a vicious grin, and Naruto knew his suspicions were correct. He knew this was Anko's way of breaking the tension and calming them both, but that doesn't mean that- oh Kami, that's disgusting, Anko, really disgusting!

And yet, despite Anko's valiant, if dubious effort in getting his mind off the fact that he was just deprived of one of his more effective teachers, the whole things was very much on his mind. And Iruka too – even if wasn't loosing all that much from the termination of the remedial classes, it was the principle of the thing! And of course, he'll have to avoid Kabuto and Sasori for a while, whole weeks probably, and that's going to set back his training in all sorts of ways.

He was going to get back at Old Man for doing this to him. What he did was sabotage, total sabotage! A retaliation was in order. Something big, but harmless. Something that sends a message. In fact, listening to Anko he just had a perfect idea.

In retrospect, enacting plans made under the influence of Anko was probably a mistake.

- break -

"I can't express how disappointed I am in you Naruto," scolded Iruka, positively trembling with frustration and anger. "I can't believe you… you… what possessed you to do something so crass and tasteless!"

Naruto ignored him, looking accusingly at the Sarutobi in front of him. For his part, Sarutobi didn't say a thing, returning Naruto's gaze with a blank look, studying him. He puffed his pipe a few times before turning to Iruka.

"Thank you for bringing him here, Iruka," Old Man said evenly. "Could you leave us alone now?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

Iruka gave one last scathing look at Naruto and then vacated the room. Naruto and Sarutobi remained in silence for full 30 seconds. Finally, Sarutobi removed the pipe from his mouth and sighed.

"I must say I'm impressed you managed to repaint the Hokage tower into lurid pink penis in a single night. If anyone asked me if it could be done I'd have laughed in their face. It's not your style, though. It's almost like you were trying to tell me something?"

"You're a giant dick."

Sarutobi resisted the urge to sigh. "This is about Anko, isn't it?"

"Of course it's about Anko!"

"Should have known he wouldn't be fooled," Sarutobi mumbled under his breath, rubbing the base of his nose in a vain attempt to banish the coming headache. Finally he leveled a steady gaze towards the blonde kid in front of him. "It was out of my hands Naruto."

"Right. And I suppose if I asked you _why_ she's not allowed to teach me anymore…"

Sarutobi shook his head in negative.

"Thought so," said Naruto gloomily. "So other people can have a bunch of paid instructors and relatives teaching them, but I can't meet Anko once a week to learn how to hold a kunai properly. Because that's two monsters conspiring against Konoha, right?"

Sarutobi flinched. Despite Naruto's overdramatic choice of wording – not everyone had trainers outside the academy, and Anko's lessons most certainly didn't stop at kunai handling – they boy was essentially correct. Quite frankly he didn't think Anko was a good influence on Naruto, and it could start all sorts of nasty rumors if it became widely known.

He couldn't really tell that to Naruto though, so he decided to play on the boy's pity a bit. Naruto isn't the only one who knows how to be overdramatic.

"What do you want me to do Naruto?" Sarutobi said pleadingly. "Do you realize how shaky my position already is? Everyone knows I'm just a replacement until a suitable successor is found, and Konoha went through so much in the past 12 years…"

"Old Man…" said Naruto quietly. "Do you remember my 10th birthday?"

"What about it?"

"You took me out to Ichiraku's. You told me how disappointed you are at my poor performance and how I'm not taking my education seriously."

"Naruto…"

"I felt like shit!" hissed Naruto. "The Hokage, the only person who cared about me, _my idol_… thought I was a failure. So from that point on I worked every freaking day to get better so you wouldn't feel ashamed of me anymore. And now you tell me that it was all just a bunch of lies and that you'd prefer if I stayed a… a… a complete dunce!"

"No!" shouted Sarutobi, his aging hand smashing against the table to hard the whole room echoed with the sound. Naruto jerked in shock and Sarutobi immediately schooled his reactions. At least he now knows what caused the change in Naruto's attitude. He does remember Naruto's reaction to criticism being stronger that day, but… well, he had his hands full that months and it just sort of slipped out of his mind.

The funny thing is that he doesn't remember saying anything to Naruto that day that he didn't tell the boy dozens of times before that. Strange.

"It wasn't a bunch of lies and I wouldn't have preferred if you had stayed… a dunce, as you say," Sarutobi said more softly. "But there are people who would. People I can't afford to alienate right now."

It wasn't a total lie. A lot of people were scrutinizing the blonde for any sign of demonic influence, especially since his recent explosive growth in capabilities. As unfair as it may sound, him being _too_ capable was something Sarutobi wanted to avoid at this time – it would put him in an awkward position where, to allay the fears of possession, he would have to subject Naruto to intensive interrogation and examination. There was no way Naruto's attitude towards the village would remain unscathed after something like that.

Fortunately, all inquiries into Naruto's growth produced nothing particularly suspicious. Though sometimes Sarutobi wondered whether that was because there was truly nothing suspicious about it, or because the blonde was somehow able to detect when he was being observed. The reports were a little _too_ neat. And as Sarutobi distinctly remembered, as a little child, Naruto had a remarkable ability to detect even highly experienced ANBU, before he mysterious lost it as he aged.

But did he really lose it, or simply learned to pretend he doesn't have it?

Sarutobi wasn't particularly keen on digging deeper. He had a feeling it would only end in tears for everyone.

"Besides," he continued. "Anko was… a curious choice of a teacher."

"Who else but another outcast would be willing to associate with me?" grumbled Naruto.

"The Hokage for a start," said Sarutobi with a wry smile.

"Err… yeah, I didn't mean it like that…"

Sarutobi waved his hand dismissively. "Let's talk about your punishment instead."

Naruto swallowed heavily and straightened himself up, trying to present a brave exterior. Sarutobi remained silent for a while, letting Naruto squirm in his chair. His imagination was clearly working furiously to think up all sorts of 'likely' punishments.

"First of all," said Sarutobi finally, "since you like painting things so much, you're going to spend this week repainting the entire Sarutobi estate. In original colors. After you scrub the Hokage's tower clean."

Naruto groaned, but Sarutobi felt no pity. What Naruto did was a little too much. And yet… he kind of missed these pranks of his. It's been a while since he did something this audacious.

It would be a lot funnier if he wasn't the target.

"Secondly, for the rest of this month you will report to the Hokage's archive in this tower every day after class. You'll be helping the nice people there sort all the paperwork that passes through daily. Since I am a generous man, you will be permitted to leave one hour earlier than other employees."

Naruto paled, his mouth stuck agape, trying to form some sort of response. Sarutobi almost stopped here, but he felt he needed to show Naruto that messing with the Hokage is a very bad idea. Time for an encore.

"Finally, since you love training so much, I have arranged for a one-week training session with one of Konoha's elite Jounin. He is a demanding teacher but I'm sure you won't disappoint him."

"Err, really?" said Naruto cautiously. "That doesn't sound so bad. What's the name of this elite Jounin?"

Sarutobi smiled sweetly. "His name is Maito Gai…"

- break -

"Whatever grievances you had with him, that was highly immature," said Shino.

"Whatever."

"You could have painted it with flowers," said Hinata quietly.

Naruto looked at her incredulously. "I was trying to send him a message! What would have painting the tower in flowers communicate?"

"I doubt the Hokage would be pleased if you painted the tower in any motif," said Shino. "The message would be sent, you'd get your meeting with the Hokage, and we wouldn't have to be embarrassed to be seen with you."

"Anko and Kiba thought it was a good idea," protested Naruto.

Shino and Hinata didn't seem interested in responding.

"What did he say," asked Shino finally.

"Nothing I didn't expect," said Naruto. "People in high places don't like the fact that I'm getting so much better so fast. I really don't understand. I thought academy students were _supposed _to prepare themselves as best as they could! Besides, maybe if the academy did their job I wouldn't need to seek outside help in the first place."

Shino adjusted his glasses, signaling that he is about to deliver an lecture. "Contrary from what the instructors claim, it is not the academy's job to train the students in ninja skills to the best of their ability," said Shino.

Naruto looked at his strangely. "It isn't?"

"No. Being a ninja is a prestigious occupation with no shortage of candidates. Ninja villages enroll a lot children in their training programs because they like to have a large selection to choose from, not because they actually hope for all of them to graduate. Most of the students won't become genin, simply because there isn't enough missions for so many new recruits. What do you think would happen if the academy taught every student advanced chakra control, built up their chakra reserves, and gave them powerful techniques they can use effectively… and then threw most of them back on the streets?"

"Uhh…"

"Those people wouldn't settle for civilian jobs after acquiring such skills," concluded Shino. "They would emigrate to other villages or simply work freelance, taking with them the techniques and expertise that Konoha provided and serving as competition afterwards."

Naruto frowned. "So what _is_ the academy supposed to be doing?"

"The academy is supposed to bring students to a level of skill that serves as a solid base for further instructions by their eventual Jounin-sensei, but is deemed relatively non-threatening. Theoretically, the multi-year education should also allow the instructors to evaluate everyone's talent and loyalty."

"Theoretically?" asked Naruto.

"Clan-born students are inherently at advantage," said Shino. "Because their families and fellow clan members will almost certainly provide them with private tutoring, they tend to be more skilled than students from civilian families – which is then taken as a sign of great talent. And since questioning the loyalty of a clan-born students is commonly understood as a political attack, the default assumption of academy instructors is that the loyalty of anyone belonging to an established clan is iron-clad."

"But…" protested Naruto. "What about all those paid instructors I keep hearing about?"

"Barring special permission from the Hokage, they are barred from teaching anyone below Chuunin rank."

"That's not right," said Naruto angrily. "Sasuke has a ton of paid instructors!"

"They're breaking the rules," said Shino blankly. "As you own experience with Anko demonstrates, that particular rule is often broken. Unless someone goes to the trouble of raising the issue with the Hokage, there are no problems."

"B-but Shino…" said Hinata. "You keep talking like academy instructors pick which students pass and which not. It's not like that at all! I heard there is a test to see who passes… like performing a technique correctly or hitting enough targets."

"That's true," agreed Shino. "However, I conducted a private research of older generations to glean some insight into the graduation mechanic. It appears there is another test beyond the academy one, administered by the Jounin-sensei assigned to one's team. Curiously enough, clan members tend to be placed with one another on the same team – through a completely impartial and objective process, of course – and these teams always pass. After carefully deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that the first test is merely an elimination round, and the real selection is more… politically charged."

"But that's not fair!" protested Naruto.

"It's a conclusion I came to after extensive observation," answered Shino.

Naruto snorted, looking away. "So they decided I'm too much of a security threat to have Anko teaching me, is that what you're saying?"

"But why?" asked Hinata timidly. "Why would you be a security threat?"

Naruto exchanged a glance with Shino, biting his lip. It was nice that Hinata was beginning to speak more freely, but it brought all sorts of uncomfortable questions. He tended to forget that Hinata isn't 'in' on all their secrets.

"I s-see," Hinata mumbled, lowering her head.

"Hinata…" Naruto began.

"It's okay," she said, pressing her fingers together and refusing to look at him. "Y-You don't have to t-tell me. I'm… used to it."

Naruto shut his eyes in frustration. She certainly got the hang out of guilt-tripping people. After a second of thought, he reached a decision.

"Hinata, what do you know about Kyuubi no Kitsune?"

- break -

Hinata took the information surprisingly well. It was the first time Naruto had seen the shy girl so… verbose! Naruto hugged her as a 'thank you' for her supportive words, but that just made her faint.

She really should stop doing that.

The paperwork in the tower was a chore, but Naruto didn't complain. In fact he put in his maximum effort out of spite, to show Old Man that his fearsome punishment was nothing. Unfortunately, the other people in the archive were surprised only momentarily, and quickly went along with it and started finding all sorts of jobs for him. Like one of the people there told him, it would be a shame not to take advantage of this new enthusiastic worker. A life lesson, Naruto supposed.

As for repainting the Sarutobi estate, the task would have been trivial if it weren't for the Old Man's grandson, an annoying brat called Konohamaru. The kid approached him while he was painting and was so insufferable in his gloating that Naruto 'accidentally' dumped a can of paint on him and then 'helpfully' scrubbed him clean in the roughest manner possible that wouldn't rub the skin right off of him. As a response, the little brat actually tried to prank him – him, Naruto, the king of pranks! – which, of course, backfired on the brat. Ever since the damn brat refused to leave Naruto alone, futilely trying to catch the blonde in one of his amateurish traps. Surely he'll get bored of it in a few days. Right?

But that was neither here nor there – right now he was waiting just outside the gates of Konoha for the third part of his punishment – the man named Maito Gai who will be his trainer for the next week. Naruto didn't understand why this was supposed to be so scary. He survived Anko's training, didn't he? He seriously doubted the guy could be worse than Anko in his training methods.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when someone beside him started shouting.

"It is fortunate you could make it! It is truly heartening to see a young man whose fires of youth burn brightly enough to join me and Lee in our evening training session!"

Naruto stared mesmerized at the large green man and his slightly shorter clone. He didn't have much right criticizing anyone for their choice of clothes, seeing he was wearing neon orange jumpsuit, but the sheer loudness and wild gesturing on the man was extremely off-putting. Was this how he appeared to people before Sasori found him?

"Gai-sensei!" piped in the clone beside the man, Lee presumably. "Let us show this young man just how brightly our fires burn!"

"Excellent!" Gai agreed. "Today we will run extra 20 laps around Konoha!"

Naruto's eyes widened. How many! And what the hell does he mean by 'extra'!

"Gai-sensei! If I cannot do it I will climb the Hokage mountain using only my teeth!"

"That's the spirit Lee! Continue onward with the sort of determination and your flame will never be extinguished!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

Naruto's eye twitched as he watched those two hug each other while a sunset genjutsu played behind them. Old Man was going to pay for this.

- break -

For all the man's faults, Maito Gai didn't lie when he said Naruto would feel the fires of youth igniting inside of him by the time they were done. He could indeed feel the fire burning within him – it seared his lungs with every breath he took and was slowly burning him alive if his muscles were any indication.

He lay sprawled on the ground, inhaling little pieces of dirt and grass with every ragged breath he took, unable to move a single finger. These two were completely and totally insane. Where in the name of all that is holy are they getting all that _stamina_!

"Naruto-kun!" shouted Lee. Can't these people ever communicate in normal volume? "Do not despair! If you train hard enough you will be keeping up with us in no time!"

"Lee…" growled Naruto crankily. "First of all, you're older than me, making you further into puberty than me. Meaning you acquire muscle mass a lot easier than I do. You're taller than me, so your steps are longer too, meaning that it's a lot easier for you to run faster than me over comparable distances. And finally, you've been doing this kind of thing for how long, 2 years? That's one hell of a starting advantage Lee. Bottom point is, it would be years before I can match your endurance, even if I decided to train at the same pace you do."

Lee shuffled in place, confused. Naruto could see that the boy worshipped his sensei and didn't really consider his opinions so much as imported them whole from Gai. And Gai was clearly prone to exuberance and fanciful proclamations.

"True," said Gai, who somehow seated himself in a lotus position beside Naruto without him noticing. "Lee's genius of hard work is hard to match. But you don't have train as hard as he does to make your fires burn far brighter than they do now."

Naruto looked at Gai incredulously. His voice was calm and authorative, even if he was still abusing fire analogies.

"I already train," said Naruto flatly, ignoring his screaming muscles as he pushed himself to a sitting position. Lee was already sitting beside him, ready to soak up the wisdom of his idol.

"That much is obvious," agreed Gai. "The fire in you burns far brighter than I have seen in a long time. Nevertheless, it is obvious that your training mostly consists of sparring."

Naruto looked at Gai strangely. "How could you tell?"

"Remember your sparring session with Lee?"

"More like a beat-down…" mumbled Naruto unhappily. Lee wasn't using anything remotely like 'academy standard' and his strikes were unblockable – every hit felt like he was punched by a sack of bricks, if he was even able to intercept it at all. That sort of punching power was completely at odds with Lee's age and body size, so Naruto could only conclude he was using some weird technique to amplify his punches. In any case, the choppy movement that Lee displayed clearly told Naruto that Lee was holding back big time. He didn't even want to think what he would look like if Lee went all-out on him.

"Your movements were good," commented Gai, "but it was clear your body couldn't match your intentions. Academy standard, when practiced in isolation, tends to overdevelop the chest and shoulder muscles, leading to unbalanced musculature that hampers your movement and posture, and could easily lead to injury. In the interest of your fighting ability, but also you health, you need to develop your whole body – and that will require simple training exercises like running and sit-ups. I will assemble a training regimen for you by the end of the week!"

Naruto paled. If his 'simple' training regimen is anything like his 'evening exercises', there was no way Naruto could keep up with it. Hopefully Gai wouldn't check up on him to make sure he was going along with it, yes?

"Secondly," said Gai, "you need to do something about your clothes."

"Oh come on!" protested Naruto. "You of all people-"

Gai stopped him with a wave of his hand. "Orange is a good color, vibrant and youthful, befitting of someone who takes such joy in life. What I'm referring to is the poor condition of your garments. Your sandals are practically falling apart, and your jumpsuit is clearly a few sizes too small! If you can't afford new clothes I would be happy to help out such a passionate young man in need!"

Naruto had the decency to look embarrassed. "No, no, I have enough money. It's just inertia, I guess. I like these clothes. Why should I change what works?"

Gai's face grew serious. "You can't achieve good traction with such poor sandals and your jumpsuit limits your flexibility. It is also surely uncomfortable to be in, which dampens your spirit! Why don't you try a suit like me and Lee are wearing and you'll see-"

"Thank you Gai-san, but I think I'll try to find something on my own," said Naruto, waving his hands frantically.

"Very well," agreed Gai. "Just remember - if you change you mind, I have plenty of these in all possible sizes!"

Naruto was pretty sure he isn't changing his mind. He's buying new clothes tomorrow, if nothing else then just so Gai doesn't get any funny ideas. At worst he'll have a spare set of clothes for when his jumpsuit is dirty.

- break -

When Naruto came home that night, he knew there would be heavy consequences for all that exertion in the morning so he didn't bother setting up an alarm-clock. He slept-in and didn't go to the academy, opting to shop for a new wardrobe instead. He could barely get out of bed because of his body hurt all over. Damn Gai and his so-called exercises… his muscles will decompose if he keeps this up throughout the whole week of punishment!

Like he suspected, his orange jumpsuit was unique and not sold anywhere in Konoha, so he settled for a bright orange shirt and dark green pants, with two pairs of sandals for footwear. He was quite proud of his choice, actually - the pants and sandals were standard ninja-wear, while the shirt provided a personal touch that identified him definitely as Naruto. He would sew in his Uzumaki spiral into it when he gets back home.

Grudgingly, he admitted to himself that Gai was right – he was a lot more comfortable in his new outfit, even if it felt a bit strange after wearing the jumpsuit for so long.

Despite the fact that every muscle in his body hurt from yesterday's workout he dutifully reported to the archive to do his paperwork, and had no intention of skipping on Gai's next exercise session. Evading those felt too much like giving up for Naruto's tastes. He wanted to face the Old Man at the end of this with the face of someone who dealt with everything thrown at him and wasn't broken in the process.

Sadly, it didn't work on Gai. Every time Naruto went that extra mile to show the man he still has the will to fight, Gai took that as a sign that he's ready for _more_ challenges – more running, more sit-ups, more sparring, _more everything_! He spent all his free time lying around because he was too sore to do anything. And the man actually had the temerity to imply that this sort of behavior was _healthy_! Fortunately there was one thing he could still do while not moving much, and that's experimenting with his chakra control. This is where Hinata was very useful, since she knew quite a lot about the human chakra system, thanks to belonging to a clan that could see both the chakra coils and chakra being molded. She did mumble something about such information being classified as a clan secret, but he pretended not to hear her and she pretended not to have said it.

All things considered, being constantly of the verge of collapse because of muscle aches was getting rather tiresome. He really was thankful that there was only one more session with Gai left. All he had to do was survive this one and everything would get back to normal.

- break -

Yamanaka Ino was manning the counter at her family flower shop, whishing for something interesting to happen, when Uzumaki Naruto walked through the door, asking if she has any potted plants that bloom orange flowers.

Well, she certainly got her wish.

After she was sure it wasn't some lame attempt to hit on her (she would die if he started giving her his Sakura routine) she moved in with interrogations. There was a lot of gossip and speculation going on about the blonde, after all: his sudden improvement, his change in personality, the way he approached Hinata and, most recently, his change in wardrobe. She initially wanted to use her considerable talking skill to stall for time and get him to reveal his secret, but that turned out to be unnecessary – the blonde gave answers freely, and didn't seem in a hurry to leave.

Some people might be too polite to probe in such private matters, but once Ino realized she got Naruto in a talkative mood she pressed on. Strangely enough, the blonde agreed with her that he was an idiot for most of their time at the academy. He changed because the Hokage told him he was disappointed at him. Apparently the aging leader was the only person Naruto respected, and his disapproval hit him hard. When she playfully asked whether he was sure she wasn't someone he respected too, he flat out told her no. He said that, at the time, he considered her a traitor for breaking up with Sakura over Sasuke. To his credit, he immediately said he realizes now this was a stupid way of seeing things, but he ruined it by saying they're both stupid for breaking up a friendship over a boy.

That hurt. It hurt a lot, because she felt largely the same. She proceeded to explain at length that it was Sakura who decided to break their friendship, not her, but it sounded hollow even to her. She could have nipped that thing in the bud if she wanted to. Even now she doesn't know why she went along with it.

She would have been angry at the orange kid, but she could see he didn't mean to antagonize. She was being rather direct, and he responded in kind. She probed into his reasons for giving up on Sakura. He said he realized pursuing her was self-destructive. Originally he just intended to back off for a while, but after a while his feelings for her simply petered out. Ino thought that was rather sad, but she knew better than to say that. Naruto didn't belittle her desire to win Sasuke's heart, so the least she could do is not question his romantic choices. That's why she didn't pry into whatever he was doing with Hinata.

Well, that's not really true. She didn't do it because she was honestly afraid of what the timid little Hyuuga would do to her if she found out Ino had been pestering Naruto about her. She already tried to extract the truth of the matter by cornering Hinata with a few of her friends, but for once in her life Hinata stood up for herself and told them all to 'go fuck themselves' and 'leave her alone' because 'what she does with Naruto-kun is none of their damn business'. She never saw the Hyuuga as angry as she was that day, and she didn't want to face her like that ever again.

Then about an hour and a half into their conversation she suddenly realized she revealed a staggering amount of personal information to Naruto without even realizing it – the background of her rivalry with Sakura, the names of the girls in their class she got along best, her opinions of half a dozen of their classmates, her favorite type of flower and even when her damn birthday was! All this time she thought she was the one pulling the strings, but the sneaky brat was playing her without her realizing it – her, Ino, the queen of gossip!

From that point on, the whole thing turned into a game of maneuvering each other into revealing more personal details. Naruto clearly noticed the change in tone and dropped the illusion of naiveté, smirking at her the whole time they were at it.

In the end he grew tired of it before she did, which Ino marked down as a victory for herself. She handed him a plant that blooms fairly often and was easy to take care of (it was so hard to kill that some people considered it a weed, being next to impossible to eradicate one planted in open ground) and bid him goodbye.

But before he left, he let something extremely interesting slip by.

"You're sparring with Shikamaru?" she asked incredulously. She never heard of this before. She thought she knew everything there is to know about the lazy Nara.

"Every week," Naruto said as he inspected the plant.

"I don't believe you. There is no way Shikamaru would let himself be talked into physical exertion, especially regular one."

"He lost a bet."

Ino grinned. Shikamaru sparring in his free time. This she had to see. Fortunately, Naruto made no secret about the time and place, so the next time they were meeting she showed up there to watch. Shikamaru was annoyed by her presence, and that only made her happier. Annoying Shikamaru was one of her hobbies. He deserved to be annoyed. But the really curious thing was who else was there: Chouji, Kiba, Shino, and Hinata. That was quite a gathering. There seemed to be quite a large hole in her gossip network if something like this could happen right under her nose without her knowing about it.

In any case, it was mighty amusing watching Shikamaru lose to Naruto, but it was clear he wasn't really trying: his moves were sloppy and sluggish. He was unmotivated, which was no surprise to Ino, who had intimate knowledge on the Nara. Kiba lost against Naruto too, as he was won't to do lately, but the orange kid was soundly defeated by the Aburame.

It was fun, and the only thing that would have made this better would have been Sasuke coming along and showing these boys what a _real_ ninja fight like.

But Sasuke had better things to do with his time, so that task fell onto her.

Fighting Shikamaru wasn't any fun, since you could never get him to do it for real. Kiba said it was beneath him to fight girls (or something to that effect), and Ino retorted she didn't want to touch a flea-bag like him anyway. After a brief verbal spar, she found out that there was only one person brave enough to face her: Naruto. That was kind of disappointing, since she was fairly certain she could stomp the dead-last into the ground without trying, but it would serve as a demonstration.

She was in for a rude awakening. It should have occurred to her that Naruto wasn't the dead-last anymore, but old habits are hard to break. Naruto was good. She didn't quite notice that while she watched him fight, but now that she was fighting against him she could see that his recent improvement wasn't just luck.

But far more shocking thing than his skill was that Naruto didn't hold back. At all.

Konoha's ninja academy had separate sparring groups for boys and girls. Boys fought boys, girls fought girls. The academy excuse was that boys had a strength advantage, but Ino always felt this was a way of preserving boys' fragile egos in the face of their inevitable defeat from people like her. The few times she asked her father about it she got the notion it was a political thing – just like the fact that female students had 'infiltration classes' about proper manners and flower arrangement. Something about civilian members of the council feeling the academy doesn't teach female ninja how to be girl enough, or equally moronic reasons. Ino didn't like it, but she didn't want to rock the boat needlessly. After all, she _did _fancy herself as an infiltration type ninja. Let those girls who wanted to be combat-oriented stand up for themselves.

In any case, there was no rule against male and female students sparring against each other, but no guy really wanted to do it. If a guy won, he was criticized for beating up girls; if he lost, he was ridiculed for loosing against a girl. The only guy Ino had a chance to fight was Shikamaru, when they were alone and nobody could see them, but it was always her attacking him, and him half-heartedly defending. There was no danger to it, except maybe to her pride, and she knew it.

Naruto lunged at her with viciousness and deliberation that was completely foreign to her. If he had any doubts about hitting a girl he didn't show it, because he was punching and kicking and pushing her back, and she found herself unable to deal with it. It was downright _terrifying_ to fight against someone like that. The academy instructors, her father, her female classmates… none of them fought like _this_.

She collapsed to the ground as Naruto slipped past her guard and planted a solid punch to her stomach. As she struggled to catch her breath, she could hear Kiba chewing Naruto out for being 'too rough' with her. It made her unutterably angry. Had she stooped so low that she has to be defended by _Kiba_?

She wouldn't stand for it. She didn't want to be some delicate princess that everyone needs to tip-toe around. She wanted to be a ninja, a _great_ ninja, and no one is going to respect her if she can't even handle Naruto, of all people.

Weekly sparring sessions he said? Well, he just got another sparring partner.

- break -

Like Naruto suspected, Gai's 'training schedule' was ridiculous. Nevertheless, Naruto wasn't willing to _completely_ throw it away, so he simply divided all the figures in the schedule by 4 and took that as his target. Even that proved to be a bit too optimistic, but at least he was doing _some_ exercises, and Gai thankfully never bothered to check if Naruto was playing along. He did, however, tell Shino all about the amazing taijutsu specialist freely handing out training advice to everyone who asks and how to contact him, conveniently forgetting to mention Gai's… peculiarities. It was his way of living up to his title as the king of pranks.

Shino gave him the cold treatment for two days afterwards, but Naruto did find out later that Shino got his own exercise advice from Gai, which he was dutifully adhering to. Worked harder at it than Naruto, actually.

In Naruto's defense, he had better things to do with his time than running laps around Konoha. Once the whole commotion about Naruto's actions died out, Sasori and Kabuto contacted him again, eager to make up for the time lost. Naruto was up to his ears in lessons from those two.

And, of course, who can forget the day Hinata actually decided to start sparring with him? It was rather obvious that the main reason she was doing this was because Ino started attending the sparring sessions. The Hyuuga was, to put it bluntly, jealous. Of course, Naruto wouldn't have anything to do with someone like Ino even if his life was at stake, but Hinata didn't need to know that. He was going to milk her little bout of jealousy for all it's worth. It was manipulative, perhaps, but she'll be better off for it.

At first he was afraid Hinata's reluctance was a consequence of her knowing she would be hopelessly outmatched, much like Ino was, which would be a major problem. The last thing Hinata needed was to have her confidence torn down by having her crush beat the crap out of her, but Naruto never really learned how to hold back, having spend most of his years fighting against superior opponents against whom every advantage was needed. It would be painfully obvious if he decided not to take her seriously, and thus the judgment would not carry any weight.

Fortunately, Hinata seemed _really_ determined to show her worth. And she had something to show indeed – she was very quick and good at dodging. Nimble too – he didn't know human body could bend that way without snapping. And then Hinata delivered 3 fast strikes on his arm and torso and it was all over.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. The places she hit burned like they were splashed with acid, and his arm was hanging uselessly against his side. He knew, intellectually, the way yuuken functions, but to know it and to _feel_ it… a whole different world.

As much as he tried to improvise after this, the truth was that the battle was decided in Hinata's favor right then and there. It was like fighting Lee all over again – her strikes were unblockable because her mere touch hurt you, and she was so damn fast you couldn't really dodge. Gentle fist truly was a fearsome style.

Ino was incredibly irked that both Naruto and Hinata were suddenly so much better than her, and when she finally talked Shino in sparring with her and lost in less than a minute, she finally snapped. She cornered Naruto after one session and demanded that he tell her how they got so much better in such a short time. Trying his hardest not to laugh, he gave her direction to find Anko and Gai. He was looking forward to her reaction to meeting them, but the next week she was just strangely subdued and never brought the subject up again.

Pity.

- break -

Naruto shuffled in place uncomfortably, checking how sure his footing was on the rocky sand. Sasori's training in the sand-walking exercise worked like a charm, and now it was almost like he was on solid ground. He had already memorized the position on various rock outcroppings and thought of some general strategies. Sasori stood several meters in front of him, calmly facing him. The older boy stood still, his eyes boring into Naruto, challenging him to make the first move.

And then it begun: in a practiced movement perfected over the last two weeks, Naruto unrolled a storage scroll and pumped chakra into the seal. When the smoke cleared, Naruto was standing with a large wooden snake wrapped protectively around him. It's disturbingly human-like head clacked threateningly in Sasori's direction.

Naruto grinned. He was quite proud of himself for making Naga, inspired by the clacking faces of Sasori's own puppets and Anko's snake summons. Sasori had said that a great deal of puppet's effectiveness comes psychological warfare induced by the 'wrongness' of the puppet, and Naruto couldn't think anything more wrong that this.

Naga was actually the 33rd puppet Naruto made, but… the less said about previous ones the better. Naruto like to think of them as experiments to see what fits his fighting style. The segmented, flexible body was actually Sasori's design that Naruto appropriated for his purposes. It's body was tough and flexible, perfect for withstanding punishment of all sorts, and it's stinger-tipped tail could lash out with frightening speed, impaling and smashing anything bold enough to approach within melee range. There was little in the way of hidden weaponry – Naruto used up most of Naga's innards to install a flame-thrower system that Naga could shoot out of its mouth. It was completely unlike the delicate precision-focused puppets that Sasori preferred, and which weren't really suited for Naruto – he much preferred Naga's brute force. Back when he first showed the designs to Sasori, he had expected the puppeteer to be unimpressed, but Sasori merely remarked he had made 'defensive puppets' too in the past. At first, Naruto didn't really understand what was so defensive about Naga, but it was obvious in retrospect – Naga was slow and powerful, and thus not something useful for pursuit and maneuvering.

Naruto struggled to get a grip on Naga for a fraction of a second and Sasori used that time to summon two of his own puppets to his left and right. Naruto resisted the urge to scowl – he _still _wasn't very proficient in handling puppets. It didn't help that Naga was particularly tricky because of its non-humanoid shape. With barely a twitch on his fingers, Sasori sent his puppets after Naruto.

The left puppet's hand flowered open and sent a hail of needles in Naruto's direction. Naga's tail lazily knocked them down out of the air, even as the right puppet drew a sword seemingly out of nowhere. As they clashed, Naga's tail smashed into the left puppet, causing its chest to cave in instantly. It fell on the ground inert.

The tricky thing about using a defensive puppet like Naga was that confrontations happened dangerously close to the puppeteer. Normally puppeteers used defensive puppets in conjunction with more mobile attack ones, but Naruto really had only enough skill to control one at the time. Unsurprisingly, Sasori seemed determined to demonstrate to Naruto the weakness of his choice, and thus the puppets he sent aimed for _Naruto_, not Naga.

Fortunately, Naruto had a secret weapon: he was actually able to move somewhat while controlling Naga. It was hard to control your puppets and move at the same time – even Sasori, 'the greatest master of the art', as he often said, preferred to sit back while focusing on controlling his puppets. But Naga wasn't really dependant on precision as much as puppets that Sasori used, so Naruto could move around a bit without losing control.

The remaining puppet took a swing at Naruto but he dodged the strike with ease and tugged at the chakra strings connected to Naga. It's tail wrapped around the puppets torso and squeezed, causing the wooden construct to break in half.

Just as he was about to advance at Sasori, the ground to his left erupted into dust and a clanking four-armed puppet lunged at him. Sasori must have placed that puppet before Naruto even came. But that itself wouldn't have been so bad if the puppet who's chest he caved in didn't suddenly come to life in front of him, blade sticking out of it's wrist. If it weren't for his instinctive reactions and Naga's tail, the puppet would have skewered him right then and there. Naruto felt sick. Sasori was taking this _really_ seriously! Too seriously!

After dispatching the damaged puppet he turned his attention to the ambush puppet, noticing Sasori summon six more puppets out of the corner of his eye. This puppet was an actual combat puppet, one of the standardized puppets Sasori created. This was bad because those puppets were loaded with secret weaponry, most of them poisoned. Sasori wouldn't use the really nasty ones on him, would he?

Barely withstanding the puppet's onslaught (it was too fast for Naga to target effectively) and wearily keeping an eye on the 6 new puppets advancing on his location, Naruto was horrified when the chest of the puppet he was fighting slid open to reveal a tube.

'A gas dispenser? NO!'

Without hesitation Naruto whipped out one of his secret weapons and slapped the tag onto the puppet, pumping chakra into it. The seal inscribed on the tag took effect immediately, burning out the delicate network of seals that covered the insides of the puppet and allowed a puppeteer to control it through chakra strings. It's control mechanisms burned-out, the puppet slumped to the ground inert.

And then he threw four kunai at the rapidly approaching puppets. The puppets didn't even try to dodge, as a kunai isn't particularly effective against them, but that was a mistake. Naruto lightly pulled on the chakra strings connected to the explosive seals inscribed on the kunai and they exploded without warning, taking out the puppets with them.

Ah yes, he did love his explosive kunai. It was so simply really – all he had to do was add an anchor seal to the array, and he could manipulate seals on distance. So what he did was place explosive seals on a bunch of kunai and set them on instant overload. Pull a chakra strong connected to them and they explode instantly, no countdown, no warning, no tell-tale signs. They were indistinguishable from normal kunai without close examination, except by byakugan users.

The look on Sasori's face was priceless. Naruto had intended to save the puppet-destroying tag and the explosive kunai for later, but it was obvious this wasn't the sort of fight where you could hold back.

Sasori lowered his head in a threatening manner and unsealed no less than 10 standardized puppets.

Uhh…

It was a valiant battle on his part, in Naruto's opinion. He used all 4 of his puppet-destroying tags, about 12 explosive notes, and destroyed 7 more of Sasori's puppets. In the end he was knocked out by a shower of needles coated in poison that caused Naruto to lose everything he ate before meeting Sasori.

"Those tags were an interesting touch," said Sasori.

Naruto felt his stomach churn and suppressed the urge to vomit again. "I got the idea when I was building Naga. I had to reinforce all the seals or the whole mesh would overload when I lost concentration and pumped more chakra than necessary into it. I figured it would be an effective attack vector against other puppets as well."

Sasori nodded. "The explosive kunai were very lethal. You were using chakra strings to activate them, weren't you?"

"Yes. I noticed you didn't use any of your, eh, 'special' puppets."

"Those are for serious combat, not sparring."

"You call that sparring! You could have killed me!"

"Only because you weren't taking things seriously enough."

"Hmph. Anyway, we fought, just like you wanted. Did I do well enough?"

"It was tolerable. You're puppeteering is meager, but you've got a very inventive art."

Naruto grinned. He didn't think of himself as an artist, personally, but he knew that Sasori doesn't call people 'artists' lightly. He was being praised, and it felt good.

"Oh so I'm finally worthy of calling myself an artist, huh? Does that mean you'll finally explain those special dolls of yours?"

"Not yet. You're not even able to control more than one puppet at the time."

"Fine, fine…" Naruto said. "You know, after surviving this, passing the genin exam tomorrow should be child's play."

"Perhaps," said Sasori. "For what is worth I think you're quite ready to graduate. Just remember that if Konoha decides to fail you you can always the village with me."

"Thanks," said Naruto. "I don't think that will be necessary, but it means a lot to me."

Really, his graduation was all but guaranteed.


	6. First Impressions

Carefully hidden, Sasori watched from distance as Naruto waved his brand new leaf hitai-ate around like it was some kind of a prize. Children are so easily excited.

"He passed," remarked Kabuto behind him.

"Hardly unexpected," answered Sasori.

"I thought you wanted him to leave the village with you," said Kabuto.

"And he will," stated Sasori calmly.

"But the chances that he'll fail the second test…" said Kabuto. "Well, I wouldn't bet on it, that's for sure. Konoha had a pretty modest standard for graduating genin."

Sasori reached into his pocket and handed a folded piece of paper to Kabuto, who unfolded it and started to read. The medic-nin took a deep breath after finishing, gathering his thoughts.

"If this is what he's planning, then…" began Kabuto.

"Exactly," said Sasori. "I don't even have to look for Orochimaru – if I wait for the Chuunin exams to come to Konoha, he'll come to _me_ instead. That's why whether Naruto graduates or not is not important – I would have stayed here for a while anyway. I have to prepare the terrain. Orochimaru thinks he's springing a trap in Konoha from within, but when he comes there will already be a trap waiting for him."

"Hm," said Kabuto. "But I still think it would be easier for us if Naruto fails. If he becomes a ninja, he can't leave without becoming a missing-nin."

"Don't be naïve, Kabuto," said Sasori with annoyance. "He's a Kyuubi jinchuuriki. They're not letting him go without a fight no matter what his official status is."

"And you don't think he'll take a liking for the village after serving as a ninja for several months?"

Sasori smirked. Truth be told, he went ahead and procured the team assignment documents that have been made in advance for Naruto's class. He had initially planned to manipulate them and assign Naruto into the worst team he could assemble, but once he'd seen the team Naruto will almost certainly be assigned on, he knew he had his work already done for him.

In any case, even if the boy can handle his team, the fact remains that he was never exactly a secretive type. The abilities he has will come to light pretty quickly once he's out in the field, and people will start to ask where he got them. Sasori was pretty sure that by the time Chuunin exams take place, Naruto will be thoroughly sick of the village and their suspicion.

"I think Naruto will find his life as a ninja to be a frustrating experience," said Sasori with amusement.

"And if Naruto _does_ fail?" asked Kabuto.

"I'll just let him simmer in Konoha a bit," Sasori said. "I can think of nothing that would fuel the boy's resentment as much as seeing all his former friends as official ninja while he has to repeat the academy all over again."

Sasori turned around and started walking back to him shop.

"Let's go Kabuto. We'll let the boy amuse himself with ninja business for a while. We have out own task anyway – I want everything ready when Orochimaru gets here."

- break -

Naruto skipped along happily towards his apartment, occasionally running a hand over the hitai-ate over his forehead to make sure it was really there. Sasori's remarks during the week leading up to the exams sounded a little ominous to Naruto, and he had began to feat that his mentor knows something that Naruto doesn't. Fortunately, it seems Sasori was merely putting pressure on him – Naruto passed with flying colors, second only to Sasuke. True, there was still the second test to pass, but Naruto didn't worry about that much.

It was already dark, so only his hearing allowed him to dodge a hail of kunai on his position. He almost concluded it was Anko saying hello, but she never aimed to kill on occasions like this. Well… not unless you really piss her off. A person jumped on a the branch of a nearby tree, well within the illumination of the closest streetlight. Clearly the man wanted Naruto to recognize him.

"Mizuki-sensei?" Naruto asked in surprise. "What the hell do you think you're doing! You could have _killed _me!"

The man sneered. "Killing you is the exact thing I'm trying to do, demon brat! Having you walk around freely is bad enough, but having the Kyuubi as an official ninja of Konoha is something I just can't stand!"

Naruto resisted the urge to groan. He had noticed, back in the testing room, that Mizuki didn't seem very pleased at Naruto's stellar performance, but he thought nothing of it. Apparently he should have. The man must have hated Naruto a lot if he was willing to go this far.

"You realize you'll have to leave the village if you kill me?" tried Naruto, mentally running a checklist of all his assets. He had a stack of regular kunai, plus two explosive ones. He had about 20 explosive notes and a couple of smoke bombs. The only techniques he knew were academy ones. And that was it. Totally insufficient to stop Mizuki. His puppet may have given him the edge he needed, but it was back in his apartment, sealed in a storage scroll. "Do you really want to become a missing-nin over this. Let's just go home and pretend this whole incident never happened. What do you say?"

Mizuki unslung a windmill shuriken off his back and threw it towards Naruto.

He'll take that as a 'no'.

Naruto threw one of his explosive kunai at the shuriken, which must have looked mighty amusing to Mizuki – Naruto trying to deflect the giant weapon with a puny little kunai and all. Naruto pulled at the chakra string, and the resulting explosion deflected the skuriken and obscured the space between Mizuki and Naruto. Taking advantage of the Mizuki's undoubtedly surprised reaction, Naruto threw his smoke bombs between them and quickly tied about ten explosive notes to one of the kunai before activating them all and throwing the kunai straight up. Then he ran.

The explosion was truly deafening, and Naruto hoped it would be enough to catch the attention of nearby patrols, because he wasn't so arrogant to think he could take on Mizuki all by himself. The man was more experienced, physically bigger, and came here prepared for combat. He could hear the footfalls as the Chuunin rapidly closed the distance between them, so he was clearly faster as well. He tied the remainder of his explosive notes to a couple of kunai, saving just two of them, and started throwing those kunai around him, creating a stream of explosions that would hopefully create enough of the racket if the first one was no sufficient.

He didn't know how long it has been since he started running, but Mizuki was rapidly approaching and Naruto's lead was evaporating. The fight seemed inevitable, and his entire arsenal consisted of 4 regular kunai, 1 explosive one, and two explosive notes. Did he make a mistake in using all those explosive notes to attract the attention of patrols? Where the hell were they!

He ground to a halt in an instant, throwing four kunai at the spot his ears told him Mizuki would inhabit in a moment. Sure enough, Mizuki broke through the foliage soon enough, reflexively dodging the kunai. The third kunai, however, the one that seemed to be misaimed and thus not worth dodging, was his special one. Naruto pulled the chakra string and another explosion disturbed the night's peace. If Naruto was lucky, that one knocked Mizuki unconscious, but he would not assume so.

As fast as he could, Naruto produced three clones – only these weren't made to look like him, but like ANBU instead. It was just a small variation of the clone technique he made for himself, allowing him to combine clone and transformation techniques and create clones different from himself, but hopefully it would be enough to fool Mizuki. With a bit of concentration he made the clones stand back for now and charged at the spot where Mizuki was, his last kunai in hand.

Sure enough, Mizuki was still in fighting condition, though clearly dazed by the explosion. Naruto decided to push his advantage and attacked. Mizuki dodged the first two strikes but the third one found home, making a large gash across the Chuunin's chest. Unfortunately, the man didn't scream and fall down – instead the pain seemed to snap him out of his daze, and he quickly drew his own kunai before lunging at Naruto.

The man was clearly a weapon-specialist type, because he was quite good at using kunai hand-to-hand. Naruto soon found himself with three gashes across his left arm and shoulder, and in a last-ditch effort to save his life he tugged at the clones, causing them to drop onto the scene.

Their landing made no sound, but they were supposed to be ANBU, so Naruto figured Mizuki wouldn't find that suspicious. And he was right – the Chuunin was mortified at the sight, enough so that it took him a full second to notice that Naruto activated his last two explosive notes and jumped away.

The blast dispelled the clones and caught both Naruto and Mizuki. Naruto was violently thrown back and couldn't get back up anymore. He coughed up some blood and desperately tried to bring his breathing under control. He was a bit too close to that one.

He tried to dodge when he heard Mizuki attacking again, but his body just gave up on him, so he only rolled away from the incoming strike. While it did save his life in that very moment, he soon had his air knocked out of his lungs as Mizuki's foot collided with his stomach.

"You _really_ like explosions, don't you, you little shit?" asked Mizuki rhetorically, blood flowing over the right portion of his face and his chest, his right arm hanging uselessly by his side. There was a crazed expression on his face, and his body trembled, like the only thing that kept him going was pure willpower. "Me, I just like good old pointy objects."

Naruto's eyes widened as Mizuki plunged kunai towards his gut. Through the haze of his rapidly approaching panic he realized there is no way he was going to dodge this so instead he called upon the last ounces of strength he had and caught Mizuki's wrist, guiding the attack into a non-lethal spot.

Pain exploded into his side. Did he succeed? He didn't know. Not that it matters, since the next strike will definitely finish him off. And that… that made him mad. He went through so much, spend so much effort to get here, and now he was going to be killed by an academy teacher with an axe to grind with the Kyuubi? It made him so very _very _angry, like searing fire spreading throughout his body from his belly – slowly at first, then exploding within him, like some invisible barrier suddenly broke down. He felt Mizuki's trying to yank his wrist free from his grasp and he clamped down.

He clamped down _hard_.

He felt the bones in Mizuki's wrist crack and felt some sort of perverse glee in hearing the man scream in pain. He didn't know where he got the strength to break a grown-man's wrist in his current condition, but it felt good. He opened his eyes again, glaring at the man as he twisted the arm, increasing the pain. Mizuki's face was glued onto Naruto's, staring straight into his eyes, a look of absolute terror plastered on his face. Mizuki was looking at him like he was a monster. Like he was… like he was…

Naruto released the grip of Mizuki's wrist, and the Chuunin immediately toppled over on his back in response. Naruto watched as Mizuki crawled away from him as quickly as he could, throwing panicked looks in his direction. Naruto felt sick at the sight. The source of his new-found strength drained away, and Naruto could again feel the pain of his wounds and the need to close his eyes and just rest. The last thing he saw before blacking out was several shadowy figures arriving onto the scene.

Great. More enemies to finish him off…

- break -

Red eyes opened in the darkness, and the being to whom they belonged to looked at its surroundings with a hate few creatures could match.

"**Finally…"** the being rumbled.

It was about time for its host to come for a visit.

"Aw hell, don't tell me this my afterlife?" echoed the boy's whining. "A sewer? I wasn't _that_ bad. At the very least I deserve a place that is dry and properly illuminated."

"**This is not your afterlife, you**_** imbecile**_**,"** the being growled.

The hosts head snapped in the direction of the voice and took a step back at the sight of bloodlust-filled red eyes. As much as it amused the being to see fear in the boy's eyes, this was not the time for playing games. The boy quickly scanned the gate that held the being at bay, staring intently at the flimsy-looking piece of paper that served as a lock.

"Is this place what I think it is?" the boy asked.

"**Yes it is,"** the voice rumbled. **"Enough about that. I want to talk about that crap you used to lock me out. If I** **didn't succeed in overpowering that overlay you put over the seal, we'd both be **_**dead**_** right now. What does this tell you?"**

"Kyuubi?" tried Naruto.

Giant eyes spun, rolling in their sockets. **"Of course it's the Kyuubi. I thought you stopped being brain-dead a while now."**

"Why did you bring me here?" asked Naruto crankily. "We have nothing to say to each other."

Kyuubi let loose a wave of killing intent at the boy. Here it was, being positively _charming_, and this little shit has the temerity to act with hostility? Somebody needs a reminder who he's talking to.

"**Like hell we don't!"** the fox roared, walking into view and ramming itself against the bars, further startling the already terrified Naruto. **"Your stupid overlay nearly killed us both! You will never reapply that thing again, do you understand!"**

"You have no authority over me," said Naruto icily, regaining his composure. "I will reapply it and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

"**Stubborn ****fool!"** fox snarled**. "Don't you realize! Next time I might not be able to help you if that thing is on!"**

"I don't need your help," said Naruto.

The fox frowned. **"You gotta be fucking kidding me. What the hell do you think saved your life just now? You failed! You failed and would have died if it weren't for me!"**

"A miscalculation," said Naruto. "If I had known Mizuki was so resilient I would have-"

"**Don't you fucking **_**dare**_** mention those toys you're playing around with," **Kyuubi sneered. "**This is what you're blocking me for? So you could play with wooden dolls that wouldn't last half a second against my power and learn how to use medical techniques that are no match for healing properties of my youki?"**

"Insulting the skills I spent the last year and a half learning how to wield isn't earning you any points, you know," the boy said. "I don't want you power."

"**Really?"** asked Kyuubi. **"You don't seem to complain about the superior senses and chakra capacity you got from me. And let me make something clear – that overlay isn't working the way you think it does."**

The boy gave Kyuubi a suspicious but interested look, and the fox knew it had at last hooked the boy. Finally.

"**If the overlay stopped the mixing of our chakra completely, like you seem to believe,**** you'd be dead by now,"** the Kyuubi said, **"You are dependent on my chakra, as am I to yours. The overlay is merely keeping the flow at minimum and venting excess chakra from your coils to prevent pressure from forming. It does, however, block me out." **

"So?" the boy asked. "I _like_ that."

"**I don't,"** growled Kyuubi. **"And since you seem to be dumber than I imagined, let be spell it out for you: as long as the flow of chakra between us remains, I am not powerless. My youki can heal your wounds, or it can be the nastiest poison you've ever come across. So far I have refrained from harming you with it, since weakening you does not benefit me in any way, but if you insist on treating me like an enemy, I will do the same. My youki will slowly break down your muscles and erode your nerve endings, eventually leaving you permanently consigned to a hospital bed, immobile and in pain."**

Kyuubi watched as emotions played across the boy's face. So the brat was finally taking it seriously eh? Good, now to lay the cards down on the table.

"**I admit it,"** the fox continued. **"You're a formidable host, and you can be troublesome to me if you're so inclined. But so can I to you.** **I'm offering you a deal here, something I have not done to anyone in a **_**very**_** long time. I suggest you cash this in while the opportunity still stands. Trust me, you don't want to be my enemy."**

"What kind of deal are we talking about?"

The Kyuubi grinned viciously. It knew the boy would see things its way.

- break -

"Yes Kiba, you'd take on a grown-up Chuunin and come out victorious without a scratch. Give me a fucking break!"

Sarutobi stood at the doorway, listening to Naruto and Kiba bicker amongst themselves. To say he was surprised by the number of visitors in Naruto's room would be an understatement – Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Akamichi Chouji stood and sat in various part of the room, some staring at the Hokage, some paying attention to the fight between Naruto and Kiba. That was quite the gathering.

"Well Naruto," said Sarutobi, causing everyone to look in his direction, "I must say I'm impressed by the friends you managed to pick up in your class. Not everyone would feel obliged to spend an afternoon entertaining someone with your attitude. How they remained sane I'll never know."

Naruto pouted, causing Sarutobi to chuckle. Naruto was so fun to tease.

"We're only here because Ino made us come," said Shikamaru, presumably referring to himself and Chouji.

"Oh please," Ino said, waving her hand dismissively. "You couldn't wait to challenge him to shogi, now that he can't get away from you and has nothing better to do."

Shikamaru shot Ino a glare but quickly schooled his feature. He casually picked up his shogi board, getting up.

"Hokage wants to speak with Naruto and I have to get home anyway," said Shikamaru.

"If it's not too much of a problem," said Sarutobi out of courtesy, "I'd like if all of you leave Naruto and me alone for a hour or so."

It wasn't really a suggestion, of course, so the room emptied quickly. Sarutobi discretely studied young Hinata as she shot Naruto one last glance before exiting the room. The Hyuuga girl had visited Naruto every day he was unconscious, and even chewed out a nurse that said something about Naruto that Hinata didn't like, if the report Hokage got was to be believed.

Impressive friends indeed.

"Already making political connections, Naruto?" Sarutobi inquired once they were alone.

"Huh?"

"Well, all of your friends are from major clans in Konoha. It seems you're really taking becoming Hokage seriously. I never expected such long-term planning from you."

"Ah, it's not like that," said Naruto. "I don't go around trying to see which people would give me most political influence if I befriend them. It just sort of… happened."

"I'll bet," said Sarutobi. "But let's get down to business. Now that you're finally up, I want to hear what happened with you and Mizuki."

As it happens, Sarutobi knew a lot about what happened. Mizuki survived in much better condition than Naruto, who hovered in critical condition for three full days and remained unconscious for two more. And people tend to get talkative when Ibiki gets a hold of them.

Still, in the interest of thoroughness and proper procedure he needed Naruto's report. Not to mention that there were some very strange things reported about the whole encounter from Mizuki's side.

What Sarutobi immediately noticed was that Naruto's report was somewhat lacking in detail, unlike his usual manner of describing things where he tells you everything you wanted and didn't want to hear. It could be just another change in his personality, but Sarutobi had his doubts. There were moments where Naruto hesitated, as if considering whether to say something or not.

But all these suspicions died in his mind when Naruto dropped the bomb.

"…and then I drew upon Kyuubi's power and crushed Mizuki's wrist."

Sarutobi stared at Naruto. "You… drew upon Kyuubi's power?"

Naruto sighed. "I don't know how else I could have done what I did. And besides, when it happened Mizuki was looking at me with such terror I… shit, Old Man, I didn't mean for it to happen, all right?"

"Naruto it's okay I didn't-"

"I just wanted to live, you know?" said Naruto, ignoring him. Or perhaps not hearing him. "I was lying there with a kunai in my side and I kept thinking about how I don't want to die and how unfair it was of that jerk to attack me for something I have absolutely _no_ control over… and I suddenly felt this _fire_ spreading from my belly and suddenly all I wanted was to hurt him back. I wanted… I wanted to hurt him back."

Sarutobi remained silent as Naruto gradually calmed down.

"Old Man," said Naruto quietly. "Tell me honestly: am I going to get locked up?"

"No," said Sarutobi. "I have faith in the Yondaime and his sealing expertise. You drawing upon Kyuubi's power when your life was endangered was probably a deliberate function of the seal. In any case, I already had your coils examined while you were unconscious and it's clear you're not being possessed by the Kyuubi. The seal is still working."

Sarutobi decided not to mention that Naruto's coils were rather strange. The examiners suggested that there was another seal overlaid over Shiki Fuujin that broke down recently, but Sarutobi dismissed it at the time as political machinations to paint Naruto as an increased risk. Now it seemed obvious that the sudden influx of Kyuubi's chakra into his coils messed them up temporarily. He should be fine in a few weeks.

"As for the attack itself," Sarutobi continued, "I sadly can't classify it since you drew so much attention to it with your explosions, but no one knows you used the fox's power so that fact will remain between the two of us."

Naruto nodded and exhaled a breath of relief.

Sarutobi resisted the urge to sigh. It was truly fortunate that the boy accessed only a minute portion of the Kyuubi's power, and that his chakra control was as good as it was. If his control was sloppier and he pulsed that chakra around him, it would have caused a village-wide panic and resulted in Sarutobi being forced to make difficult choices. Even as it is, some people complained it was too suspicious that a freshly-academy graduate managed to defeat a Chuunin. Despite the fact that he nearly died in the process.

Sarutobi scoffed mentally. After hearing what kind of 'training' the boy went through from Anko, and hearing the report from Gai, Sarutobi wasn't all that surprised that the boy managed to fight a Chuunin to a standstill. Especially one who hasn't been on a combat mission for 3 whole years due to being placed to a teaching post.

Although Anko's influence was clearly visible in Naruto's style of fighting, it wasn't identical. The main thing that made Naruto different from Anko was his initial giant explosion he used to herd the patrols on his position. Anko would have never signaled for help like that, and neither would the old Naruto – that move was a clear sign that Naruto was starting wizen up somewhat.

He reminded Sarutobi of Minato more and more with each passing month.

- break -

"I'm surprised," said Old Man, looking intently at the picture in his hands. "I was expecting you to try to pull some sort of prank for you photo, but I guess you really have changed."

"It was tempting," agreed Naruto. "I had thought about giving you this fake picture of the Kyuubi burning down Konoha, but I figured it was somewhat in bad taste."

"Quite," agreed Old Man.

Just in that moment the door slammed open to reveal Konohamaru standing defiantly in the doorway. He pointed a finger at the Old Man. "Your reign as a Hokage ends here!" he proclaimed.

And then he charged, stepped on his own scarf, and slammed face-first into the floor.

Old Man sighed. "Another 'sneak' attack huh? Which one is it today, Konohamaru?"

"Shut up! I-"

Naruto swore. He had been completely silent and edging towards the door, trying to escape before the scarfed menace notices him, but as the boy shifted his gaze towards him that plan fell into the water.

"You!" Konohamaru exclaimed. "It was you, wasn't it! You tripped me!"

"You tripped on your own scarf!" said Naruto in annoyance.

"Liar! Admit it! You tripped me!"

Konohamaru continued yammering, unaware of the stony glare that Naruto was giving him, icy fury dancing across his face. He was trying to stay composed and failing. He's been through a lot recently, and the last thing he needed now was this sort of crap. Konohamaru didn't know this, but unfair accusations were something that made Naruto's blood boil. When he was little and still in the orphanage, he would constantly get blamed for anything bad that happened. Other children quickly figured out that if they try to shift the blame on him they would be more likely to believed, so they did it constantly, out of sheer opportunism. Even if the caretakers never physically punished him, their accusations still burned deep into his soul.

'_Why did you break the window Naruto?'_

'_What a liar you are. Three others saw you do it.'_

'_Admit it.'_

"Admit it!" Konohamaru yelled.

"Konohamaru…" intoned Naruto.

"What!"

What angered Naruto particularly about Konohamaru was that the boy was so much like he was – impatient, ignorant, inconsiderate, yet convinced he was the best at everything. Convinced that if only he's stubborn enough, aggressive enough, _loud enough_… that he would get some measure of respect from people around him. He was…

"You're such a petulant child."

With a curt nod towards Old Man, Naruto trudged off towards the exit, leaving a speechless Konohamaru behind.

- break -

Naruto absentmindedly rubbed his stomach, ignoring the chatter of his fellow students around him. Sasori wasn't too pleased with Naruto's request for modification of next Shiki Fuujin overlay, especially since Naruto refused to discuss his reasons for it, but he honored Naruto's request. The new overlay had a switch that Naruto could activate to block out Kyuubi again if the fox doesn't honor its part of the bargain, but Naruto hoped it would not come to that. Kyuubi's threat sounded creepier than Kabuto's anatomy lessons.

"So, who do you think will be with whom?"

Naruto glanced towards Kiba, considering the question. He had been thinking about that himself while he lied in the hospital bed without nothing better to do, and he could only come to one conclusion.

"You, Hinata and Shino will probably be one team. Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji are definitely together. Beyond that, I don't know," answered Naruto.

"W-what makes you say that?" asked Hinata.

"Clan members always get placed in the same team," said Shino. "We're all members of clans with abilities useful in reconnaissance, so we'll probably be grouped together as a scouting squad. As for the other group, Ino-Shika-Chou formation is a famous in Konoha, so there is a lot of political pressure to go with what worked before."

Naruto looked over at Shino with mild suspicion. He hadn't forgotten that it was Shino that originally pushed Naruto to approach Hinata, and the way Kiba suddenly showed up one day at their sparring sessions was awfully suspicious. Naruto was almost certain that Shino knew he would be placed with those two even back then, and used Naruto as a guinea pig to see what they're like.

Sneaky Aburame.

Naruto continued ignoring the looks he was getting from the rest of his classmates. The news that he had been attacked by Mizuki and managed to 'hold him off' until help came spread like wildfire, and now everyone knew about it. He couldn't really tell whether people were impressed or afraid. In any case, the classroom quieted down when Iruka walked inside and began listing teams. Naruto listened intently, evaluating their chances of passing the second test in his head. None of the teams looked very remarkable. As the number of unsorted genin dwindled, Naruto groaned. There were only two more people he could be realistically group with.

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto closed his eyes and banged his head against the table. And he spent so much effort overcoming his crush for Sakura and his obsession with Sasuke. Of all the people, why did it have to be them?

Of course, it seemed obvious in retrospect. He was the container of the Kyuubi and Sasuke was the last Uchiha. So the two of them should be pushed forward, for political reasons if not for the fact that they were the two highest ranking students in class. It was customary to have two boys and a girl in each team if possible, and who better for that role in their than Sakura, the highest ranking girl in class?

"My condolences," said Shino.

"I should be saying that to you," Naruto fired back, "You'll be grouped with Kiba."

"Hey!" protested Kiba.

"Order in the back row!" yelled Iruka. "Team 8: Hyuuga Hinata, Aburame Shino, and Inuzuka Kiba."

"Told ya," said Naruto.

"Yea, yea..." said Kiba. "Shut up already."

"Team 9 is still in circulation from last year," said Iruka, a little louder. "Team 10: Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, and Akamichi Chouji."

As the classroom erupted into not-so-quiet conversation that Iruka desperately tried to curb through judicious use of thrown erasers, Naruto sank into silent contemplation.

Team 8 and Team 10 were guaranteed to become genin, but what about his team? At first glance, they seemed to be one of those teams that were made to succeed, but Naruto suspected his team could easily be failed if their Jounin instructor determines they didn't mesh well.

And they definitely aren't going to mesh well.

- break -

Uchiha Sasuke glared balefully at his female teammate. The girl remained undeterred, telling him all sorts of things he didn't want to know. Everyone was gone, even Iruka, and his team was the only one left waiting, leaving him alone with… with… _Sakura_. Of all the fan-girls they could have placed in his team, it just had to be the most rabid, single-mindedly obsessed one, didn't it?

For two hours now the girl has been trying to worm her way into his skin in the most blatant manner possible – through ass-kissing. No he wasn't sweet… aside from his fangirls, no one else could stand him. They were the sensible ones, of course, since getting people to avoid him was the whole point of acting the way he did. He didn't have time for friends.

Not with his brother still on the loose.

He deep breaths to calm himself, ignoring Sakura's inquiries into his health. Sasuke glanced at his other teammate. What was that blonde idiot doing that he was so quiet?

Naruto was reading a book.

He frowned. The blonde spent the first half of their education academy goofing off, being a nuisance… and then suddenly took things seriously and eventually caught up to him as the second-ranked student in the class. Naruto was the only person who could rival him in accuracy and his taijutsu wasn't too shabby either. He was hopeless in academics, but written tests were a joke so Sasuke didn't take it as a strike against the blonde. Realistically speaking, Naruto was the best he could hope for. As long as the blonde gets out of his way like he did so far, he'll be bearable. Fortunately, the blonde seemed to have outgrown his obsession with challenging Sasuke.

Sasuke had to admit that deep down, some part of him was sorry that the blonde gave up on him, but he knew it was for the best – he was an avenger, his life already forfeit on the altar of blood and tears, and anyone who gets too close will only get sucked in and suffer with him.

But he was getting off-track. The thing was, even with all the changes he went through, Naruto was never a very patient person. Of the three of them, Sasuke would expect Naruto to be the first one to blow up in this situation. Could he have misjudged the blonde? Maybe it was all a front to fool people, and the real Naruto was someone far more capable and calculated…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" yelled Naruto suddenly, flapping his hands through the air and startling Sasuke and Sakura. "Where the hell is he! Where _the hell_ is he! Iruka said he'll be _a little_ late! A little is 15 minutes, not 2 fucking hours! This is absolutely ridiculous!"

…or not.

"Naruto!" yelled Sakura back. "Stop acting like an idiot! I'm sure our sensei has a good reason for being late!"

Naruto gave her a disdainful look. Sasuke would give it 8/10 – it could still use some work to properly convey how insignificant the target is to him.

"What?" demanded Sakura.

"How would you know whether he has a good reason or not, Sakura?" asked Naruto. "For all you know he could be wasting our time simply because he's an asshole."

"He's a _Jounin_," she said, her voice laced with annoyance. She seemed to think merely pointing out his rank was enough to imply tendency towards responsibility. "And it's not like _you_ have anything better to do. There are only two things ever on your mind: ramen and your delusion of becoming Hokage."

Naruto gave her a smile of amused superiority, like a master pleased that his dog did a particularly clever trick. Sasuke memorized the expression for later use.

"That means my interests are more diverse than yours," said Naruto. "The only thing on your mind at any given moment is Sasuke. That's probably why you don't mind wasting away for hours in an empty classroom - I bet all you do at home is stare at the poster of Sasuke in your bedroom, anyway."

Sakura rose from her seat, her face burning, and stomped off in Naruto's direction.

"No way!" yelled Naruto as he rose so he can defend himself more effectively. "You have a poster of Sasuke in your bedroom!"

Sasuke shook his head silently. They all do. They all do…

On the bright side, he just found a use for Naruto – Sakura repellent! As long as Naruto antagonizes her, she'll be too busy pummelling him to bother with him. He wondered how much money it would take to get Naruto to piss her off as much as possible.

"Yo!"

Sakura stopped choking Naruto and all three looked at a strange man that was undoubtedly their Jounin-sensei. Sasuke was impressed that the man managed to enter the room without him noticing. And he looked very strange. 'Strange' usually meant powerful in the ninja world – things that stick up either get tough or hammered down.

"Aren't you a little too young for that?" asked the man, looking at Naruto and Sakura.

Sasuke shifted his attention to his teammates. Sakura forced Naruto on the table as she choked him and threw one knee over his waist to keep him from struggling and get a better grip. The resulting pose was… _curious_.

When Sakura understood what the one-eyed man implied she jumped back as if from hot coals, wiping her hands on her sides for good measure.

"It's… it's… it's not like that!" Sakura stammered. "I was just choking him!"

The one eyed man smiled. You could tell because his one visible eye crinkled in amusement.

"Ooooh, _kinky_! Anyway, meet me on the roof in 5 minutes."

As much as Sasuke was tempted to enjoy Sakura's obvious distress for as long as possible, he rose and hurried up on the roof, his two teammates trailing behind him. Surprisingly, Sakura didn't try to blame Naruto for all this. Sasuke attributed it to her being shell-shocked – she probably never expected such a reaction from their Jounin-sensei and now didn't know what to think. He had noticed (as much as he tried not to notice anything about Sakura) that she had great faith in authority figures and took everything they said at face value. Before they got to the roof however, Sakura had recovered enough to give a vicious blow to the back of Naruto's head.

"Alright, since this is our first meeting a little introduction is in order," said the man. "Tell me your names, dreams, hobbies, likes and dislikes… something in that vein."

"Why don't you go first, sensei?" said Sakura sweetly. "To show us how it's done."

"Hm. My name is Hatake Kakashi. My dreams are not of your business. You're too young to know about my hobbies. I like some things and dislike some others."

"All you told us is your name," protested Sakura.

Kakashi shrugged.

"Hatake Kakashi," said Naruto. "Also known as the Copy-Cat Ninja and the Thousand Kakashi. An elite Jounin of Konoha, rumoured to know over a thousand techniques. Student of the Yondaime and the only non-Uchiha possessing the sharingan."

Silence descended upon the sense. Sasuke's mind worked furiously on the part about Kakashi possessing the sharingan. The way he wore his forehead protector… could it be…

"Wow," said Kakashi carefully. "I didn't know I was so famous."

"You'd be surprised," said Naruto.

"Well anyway…" said Kakashi, waving his arm dismissively. "Onward with introductions. Since the orange eyesore spoke up first, why don't we start with him?"

Sasuke snorted. If he thinks Naruto is an eyesore now, what would he have said if the blonde was still wearing that jumpsuit?

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto. My dream is to become Hokage. My hobby is gardening. I like hanging out with my friends and ramen. I hate waiting for people and making people wait."

Kakashi chuckled at the last part, like it was a good joke. "Okay, it's your turn now Pinkette."

Sakura seemed pissed at her new nickname but didn't protest. Instead she took a deep breath and started her introduction. If you can call it as such. It was basically a long version of 'my life is Sasuke' – which, incidentally, was the name of the poem some fangirl left under his desk a few months ago.

If Itachi's betrayal hadn't turned him into a social recluse already, that thing would have.

"You're next, brooding one," said Kakashi, pointing at Sasuke.

Sasuke gave Kakashi his customary glare. He wasn't brooding, he was just being an ass. There was a difference, damnit!

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like very few things and dislike almost everything else. My hobby is training. I don't have a dream, more like an ambition – the rebuild my clan and to…"

The images of his family being cut down briefly flashed before his eyes.

'…_their purpose was for me to measure myself against them.'_

'_Foolish little brother…'_

"…kill a certain man," finished Sasuke.

Kakashi inhaled heavily, and both of Sasuke's team-mates looked at him curiously. For a moment he hoped Sakura was freaked out by this, but then he eyes glazed over and Sasuke knew it only made him more 'awesome' in her eyes.

"Well then, now that we've gotten to know one another, I'll tell you about your test for becoming a genin…" began Kakashi.

- break -

Normally, Hatake Kakashi doesn't read the files of genin candidates that come his way. Academy reports tend to be unreliable, to the point where he can make superior judgements from mere 5-minute of observation or so. Not to mention that it's somewhat of a waste to expend energy to get to know these kids when he will almost certainly fail them anyway.

After meeting Team 7 he actually read their files.

Sasuke's one was gushing with praise to the point of unprofessionalism, so much so that Kakashi wondered whether it was Sakura who wrote it. And speaking of the girl, her file was positive but made no mention of her obvious obsession with the Uchiha prodigy, instead praising the girl's 'attentiveness' and 'bright mind'. And Naruto's file… was a total crock.

The file was clearly written by someone who didn't like Naruto. The file was thick, with the complaints filed against the boy placed at the front and the final assessment a long-winded diatribe filled with negative comments. It didn't escape Kakashi's attention that the assessment focused on the boy's attitude and meager initial potential and avoided mentioning his skills. Kakashi had seen the way the boy moved, and had heard about the Mizuki incident (who hasn't?), so it was curious that the writer didn't mention how skilled the boy was. Kakashi flipped through the pages of the assessment, scanning the content. Sure enough, he found the boy's scores on page 7, unobtrusively hidden right in the middle of the document. He was a second-placed student, right after the Uchiha.

Though the information in the files were useless, the manner in which it was presented told Kakashi a great deal about the three genin. A great deal indeed.

Failing this particular team would have serious consequences. He now understood why the aging Hokage remarked to him that both Sasuke and Naruto were 'frustrated' with the Academy environment and that Sakura 'had perhaps taken too much liking to it'. All three held great potential but their growth was stunted while they remained academy students – Sasuke because he had nothing to learn there, Naruto because the instructors were working against him, and Sakura because she was loosing sight of what being a ninja was all about without it being shoved into her face. If those three are sent back at the academy… well, it probably won't end well.

But did this make Kakashi obliged to pass them? Theoretically no, but practically speaking he would come under heavy criticism if he failed them. Individually, all three of them were prime material for a genin, so sending them back because they can't work as a team might be seen as skirting responsibility. All three of them had powerful political forces backing them, even Sakura – as a top student of civilian background, she was a poster-child for Konoha's initiative to coax more civilians to sent their children in the academy to revitalize the variety of graduating genin. All sorts of concessions were made to make the academy program more palatable to civilians, many of them a bad idea in Kakashi's opinion, and if the biggest success of this program doesn't succeed a lot of people will end up with an egg on their face – which will cause them to question Kakashi's judgement, if for nothing else then to save their reputation. And that was just Sakura – the last Uchiha and the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki had even more powerful forces arrayed behind them.

Kakashi thought about this as he walked towards training ground 7. It didn't feel right to give in to political pressures. He was the one that will have to deal with them, after all. As he was approaching the place, he came to a decision: he would test them like he intended to, and the outcome would determine if they pass.

But it would not be the bell test. Not only was he aware that many ninja considered that test unfair, which would give people questioning his judgement firmer position, but it may very well be that Naruto knew about that test already. After all, the blonde seemed to know a great deal about him, and the bell test was fairly famous as well.

No, he had a better idea – he would do the direct approach.

As he approached, he saw all three sitting on the ground, eating apples. One of them must have brought them just in case. It was just as well – now no one could complain they failed just because they were hungry.

"Yo!"

"You're late!" screeched the pink one.

"By three hours," added the blonde calmly, but there was a definite annoyance in his voice.

"Well anyway, if you're done wasting time, let me explain the rules of the test."

The three potential genin glared at his implication that _they_ were the ones wasting time and he smiled behind his mask before speaking up again. He pulled out a bell.

"This is a bell," he said with amusement. "You three have until noon to get this bell off of me by any means necessary. This is meant to test your teamwork, I repeat, _teamwork_. Teamwork. None of you can handle me alone, so only by working together and giving it your all will you have a chance to succeed. If any one of you gets the bell, you all pass. If none of you do, you all fail. Follow me so far?"

Kakashi nodded to himself. He just handed them a solution of a silver platter. He didn't actually expect them to get the bell, but as long as they show actual teamwork in their attempt, they pass. The threat was there simply an added motivation. And if they fail to show any teamwork, even after being explicitly told this is what he's looking for and under the impression they'll get sent back for failing… well, no one could fault him for failing them in that event. He'll have an iron-clad case that they were completely unsuited as a team.

He's a genius!

The three of them exchanged uneasy glances and nodded.

"All right," said Kakashi. "Come at me then."

Wordlessly, Sasuke and Naruto circled him until they were positioned on his flanks, while Sakura drew a kunai, apparently opting to be their long-range support. Kakashi impatiently looked at his watch, trying to get the rise of them. And succeeding – Sakura let lose a kunai at him and both boys charged as he leaned to the side to dodge it, hoping to catch him off-guard.

They both had very good taijutsu, though Sasuke was faster and more skilled. If they actually attacked in tandem, he'd be hard-pressed to deal with them without using any dangerous moves, but as it is they were just two enemies that attacked with no regard for what the other was doing. Sakura was standing back, unable to get a clear hit because neither Sasuke of Naruto tried to give her an opening, expecting her to find a one on her own. Or maybe they just plain forgot about her? In any case, Sakura herself seemed busier gawking at Sasuke than really looking for openings.

Finally, the Uchiha seemed to have had enough and stood back, flipping through a bunch of seals. Kakashi's visible eye widened just slightly. He had no idea the boy could do _that_ sort of technique! Unfortunately, Sasuke seemed oblivious to the fact that Naruto was right next to Kakashi and Naruto had no way of knowing what the Uchiha was planning. The look of shock when he saw the fireball speeding towards him was obvious.

Kakashi had little trouble dodging the fireball, but Naruto wasn't as lucky. When the smoke cleared Naruto was holding a badly singed arm, his teeth clenching in an attempt to hold back a scream of pain. Kakashi was actually rather impressed by the lucidity with which the blonde scrambled to his feet and back in a battle stance – it took a lot of willpower to get back up and keep fighting after being on a receiving end of something like that. Most of the academy graduates would be rolling on the ground, screaming in pain.

"What the hell Sasuke!" protested Naruto through clenched teeth.

"You're getting in the way, dope." The Uchiha said coldly.

"Quit cramping Sasuke's style, Naruto!" yelled Sakura from the side.

Kakashi sighed. He had never seen a team with worse teamwork than this. The weren't just bad – they were awful in a way that required active effort!

It was like they were deliberately sabotaging themselves.

"You leave me no choice," Said Kakashi.

He watched them tense up as he reached into his belt, he savoured their confusion when he pulled out his _Icha Icha_ and started reading it, and couldn't help but giggle when he felt their confusion turn into anger. Though to them it probably seemed he was giggling at something in the book.

"You…" began Sasuke, clenching his fists. "You think you can take me that lightly?"

"Hm?" said Kakashi. "Did you said something? I was just coming to the best part, you see, the one where Taka finds out about the twins and-"

Kakashi struggled to keep his face in an innocent expression as Sasuke's wrath approached a boiling point. Just as the dark boy was about to charge at him, Naruto spoke.

"Sasuke, wait," said Naruto calmly. "I have an idea."

Sasuke scoffed. "That would be a first."

"Yes, well, we both know the frontal assault isn't going to work. He's just trying to rile you up until you do something stupid. And succeeding, I might add. Do _you_ have an idea?"

Sasuke remained silent, glaring at Naruto but obviously calming down.

"What does it cost you to go along?" tried Naruto again. "If this fails you can just call me dope like always and try it your way. It won't take long, I promise."

Sasuke eyed him suspiciously. "What do you have?"

Naruto brought his hand to his burned side and it began to glow. As Naruto waved his glowing hand over the burn, flesh healed itself in it's wake. Kakashi inhaled slightly. The boy knew medical techniques? How curious.

"Much better," said Naruto, trying out his healed arm before bringing both of his palms together in preparation of a seal sequence. "Sasuke, Sakura, take positions and be ready to grab the bell when you see an opening. I'm going to distract Kakashi."

Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle. The blonde though he would be so easy? "Guys," he began, obvious amusement in his voice. "I don't know if you noticed, but I'm still here and listening to everything."

"It won't do you any good," said Naruto. "Go back to reading your little book. Sasuke, Sakura, remember to focus on the bell and _nothing_ but the bell. Under no circumstances should you pay attention to my actions. Ready?"

He blonde's two teammates nodded, shifting uncomfortably in place.

Okay, Kakashi was now officially interested. He couldn't help but discreetly keep an eye on the blonde as he brought his hands together and started performing… the clone jutsu. A clone jutsu! What on earth did he hope to achieve with a-

Two poofs of smoke signalled the creation of two clones, but when the smoke cleared…

"Kakashi!" Gai shouted. "Reading such unsightly literature in front of your students is most unyouthful! I will not stand for such behaviour from my spring-time rival!"

"Gai-sensei! Gai-sensei!" shouted Gai's smaller clone. "I can feel my fires of youth draining away just by looking at him! I will run 200 laps around Konoha to atone myself!"

"My rival!" shouted Gai again, pointing at Kakashi empathically. "Look what you've done! Even my most youthful student has had his fires dimmed by your actions! What have you got to say for yourself!"

Kakashi was staring at the sight with disbelief. His mind still not working properly, all he could say was "What?"

"There's that hip attitude again!" shouted Gai. "As expected from my rival! Mark my words Kakashi, one day I'll defeat you! Come Lee! We must get back to our training! We will do 500 extra push-ups to make up for this!"

"Gai-sensei! Your youthfulness has re-lit the fire in my veins!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

Kakashi was suddenly brought out of his daze – something was off here. Gai and his student were hugging each other, but where was the sunset genjutsu? The horror isn't complete without it!

And then he suddenly realized what was happening and quickly moved to protect the bell – only to find it long gone. Images of Gai and his students poofed out of existence, and Kakashi found the bell in Sakura's hand. Both Sasuke and Sakura had decided to satisfy their curiosity after getting the bell and received a face-full of Gai for their punishment. Kakashi couldn't help but empathize for their shell-shocked expressions. They were far to young to be exposed to something like that. He turned to Naruto.

"That was… unexpected. I didn't know you met Gai."

"Oh, but he's the reason I know so much about you," said Naruto with a grin. "I was assigned a week-long training session with him and Lee as punishment. He spoke often about his… spring-time rival."

Kakashi's eye twitched. "All right, first rule of being in my team: no Gai impression. Ever. If you ever call me 'spring-time rival' again, I'll give you training so intense even Gai would cringe."

The blonde gulped and nodded.

"Does that mean we pass?" Sakura asked hopefully.

Kakashi turned towards the girl. "Well, you did get the bell… even if your method was cruel and unusual. I'm a man of my word, my tardiness notwithstanding. So yes. Congratulations, you pass the test. You're not officially genin of Konoha."

Even Sasuke smiled at this.

Kakashi sighed. For good or bad, his life just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

- break -

Kurenai was pleased. Very pleased, in fact. Her team had passed with flying colours, showing both skill and admirable teamwork. At first she assumed Shino and Kiba would get off on a wrong foot due to their clashing personalities and that getting Hinata to open up would be a slow and difficult process, but it wasn't so. Shino and Kiba did bicker, but it was more casual and harmless than any true hostility. Hinata, while quiet and subdued, was forthcoming enough not to hinder the team.

It seems the academy files had mislead her – who was writing those reports anyway? – but it was a positive surprise, so no harm done. Cautionary reports were better than too optimistic ones. But at the same time Kurenai could just tell that something was off there. Specifically, Shino and Hinata were clearly close friends while Kiba was more like a co-worker to them. They worked with him, but there was a layer of communication that he was not privy to.

As Kurenai congratulated them for passing, Kiba gave a shout of joy (accompanied by Akamaru's barking), but the other two had a more subdued reaction. When she dismissed them, Hinata looked at Shino in an unspoken question and he nodded. They turned to leave.

It didn't sit right with Kurenai. She knew that she was probably over-reacting but she knew good teams ruined over less. Just because Kiba is too dense right now to notice they're treating him like an outsider doesn't mean he'll always be. He seemed like the sort of person to be upset by it too.

"Shino," she called, causing the bespectacled boy to turn towards her. Hinata mirrored his move. Maybe they were an item? "I was just wondering where you're going?"

Kiba perked up at this. Kurenai swore inwardly. Sometimes she forgets that Inuzuka had both good noses _and_ good hearing. She should have done it after he left.

"W-We're off to see how N-Naruto d-did…" chimned in Hinata immediately, her words trailing off in a whisper.

She raised an eyebrow. Naruto? The prankster?

"He's a close friend of ours," clarified Shino.

Well, at least they're not hiding their intentions. That's a good sign.

"He passed," said Kiba dismissively. "Even if his sensei fails them he'll still find a way to graduate. It's Naruto. If you nail down the doors and windows he'll just bust through the walls."

Now this was certainly interesting. She didn't think Kiba had compliments for anyone, especially not one his peers. And this was definitely a compliment towards Naruto when coming from someone like Kiba.

Her interest was definitely intrigued. She studied the files of all students, of course, and Naruto's… Well, she didn't read all of it, since there was so much in it, but the representative example she examined did not paint a pretty picture. But apparently her team did not seem to think so. She didn't have to file her report till the evening, so…

"Tell you what," said Kurenai. "Why don't we all visit him together. I'm interested in meeting him myself."

Contrary to what she expected, Shino and Hinata were not reluctant. If anything, Hinata seemed pleased at the turn of events. Shino just nodded and led the way – apparently he was the only one who had been to Naruto's place.

Listening to Kiba's loud boasting, she found that he and Naruto fought regularly while in academy. Or maybe it was sparring? Kiba claimed he won every time, but Shino corrected him, saying the result was in Naruto's favour in the last few months leading up to the qualification exam. The specified time-period caught Kurenai's attention – Shino would not have put it there if it was not important somehow. It implied discontinuous advancement of Naruto's abilities over time. Very curious.

As they got closer to Naruto's place of residence, they entered the poorer run-down district full of trash-lined alleys and buildings that looked like they need just one good shove to topple over. When they eventually approached Naruto's apartment building they found a structure only marginally better-preserved than others. Kiba had obvious disbelief on his face, eying the place with unhidden apprehension. Hinata, however, seemed unconcerned. In fact, Kurenai was certain she had been here before, despite Shino's claims that he was the only one to come here. She didn't think Shino lied – he'd just keep silent if he didn't want to say something – so that meant that Hinata had some secrets of her own regarding the boy.

After an uneventful climb up the stairs (Kiba complained about the smell, claiming that there was a dead cat somewhere around), Kurenai knocked at the door of Uzumaki Naruto. Even though she heard a lot of the stories about the boy, mostly about his pranks, this was the first time she was going to see him. Him being the container for the Kyuubi did not matter to her, but that just meant she wasn't going to treat him differently than she would anyone else. She had no intention of discounting his flaws when judging him – he was not abused, and didn't even know about his prisoner. He wasn't the only orphan aspiring to be a ninja, and none of those had his (in)famous relationship with the Hokage.

The door opened and a surprised boy locked eyes with Kurenai. Naruto was blonde, much like Yondaime was, with vibrant blue eyes and whisker marks on his cheeks. She had heard he goes around in an orange jumpsuit, but right now he was wearing loose black pants and a white t-shirt with a red spiral painted in the middle of his chest. The fact that he was walking bare-footed around the house made Kurenai want to scold him, but she figured that would put him on the defensive necessarily.

"Umm…" he said. "Hi. Come on in, I guess."

Kurenai entered the place first, her students trailing behind her, scanning the room like a hawk. She knew there was no danger per see, but she had a habit of studying unfamiliar surroundings whenever she entered them. It was surprisingly clean, especially for a home where a teenage boy lives alone, and there was a row of potted plants by the window.

Before she could take in any more detail, a familiar head poked around the kitchen door-frame and her composure was smashed to pieces.

"Yuuhi!" Anko screamed, throwing herself at Kurenai. "Well who'd guess I'd be meeting you here! Naruto never mentioned knowing you!"

Kurenai just stood there, confused. She expected a lot of things, but this wasn't one of them. She snatched Anko by her arm and dragged her off into the kitchen, leaving her students with Naruto. She slammed the door shut.

"Anko, what the hell are you doing here!"

"I just came to congratulate Naruto on becoming a genin," said Anko.

"And why is that? Why would you visit a random genin to-"

"He's my pupil Yuuhi, I told you that, remember?"

Kurenai stopped for a second to think. She was pretty sure Anko never told her something like this, but…

"Wait… that academy student Hokage forbid you from teaching? The one you got drunk over a while back?"

Anko grinned. "See? I knew you'd remember."

Kurenai rubbed her face. At least she now knew what possessed Anko to take on a student back then – she probably sympathized Naruto for all the stigma the civilians and some ninja attached to him. She didn't really want to know how she talked Naruto into accepting _her_ as a teacher, though threats and force were probably involved, since Hokage had to become involved.

"So why are you breaking Hokage's order, then," asked Kurenai finally.

"I'm not breaking anything," pouted Anko. "He forbid me from _teaching him_. We can still hang out like buddies."

"Oh Kami, what have you been doing to the poor child…"

"Nothing!"

"Anko…"

"Really! See, I even brought him a gift." Said Anko, pointing to the bottle of sake on the kitchen table.

Kurenai shot her an annoyed look. "I can't believe this! You've been torturing the poor boy so much he had to complain to the Hokage about it, and now-"

She stopped as Anko's face darkened suddenly. "Is that what everyone thinks?" she asked quietly.

This gave her pause. Anko _did_ get pretty drunk that day. It obviously meant a lot to her.

"It… seemed like a reasonable conclusion considering what I heard," said Kurenai.

"Then why did Naruto repaint Hokage's tower into a giant dick two days later?" asked Anko, opening Naruto's 'gift' and taking a sip before placing the bottle back like nothing happened. Kurenai resisted the urge to go back into the other room and beat the boy into a bloody pulp – he's the one that did that! "He's the one that asked me to teach him, you know. And after I smashed my foot right into his face too."

Kurenai looked at her suspiciously. "So you're saying you beat the crap out of him and he… asked you to teach him?"

"Yup!" said Anko cheerfully. "And you know all the crap you told me about the students not being able to handle surprise attacks during lessons?"

Kurenai's face twisted into a sour expression. "You didn't."

Anko nodded. "I even played tag with him when he wouldn't listen!"

Kurenai wanted to start hitting her head into the wall. "Anko, you could have killed him, he's just a genin!"

"He was still an academy student then," corrected Anko.

"Oh that makes it so much better!"

"If he didn't complain – well, not much, anyway – I don't see why you're so upset. He even bought me dangos for the privilege."

Kurenai narrowed her eyes. Considering how much Anko eats of that stuff… "I can't believe you! You've been taking advantage of a 12-year-old boy!"

"He was 11 at the time," again corrected Anko.

Kurenai would have continued chewing her out if Naruto didn't choose that moment to open the door and stroll in.

"She wasn't taking advantage of me," remarked Naruto while he removed 4 glasses out of the shelf and poured orange juice into them. "She was giving me instructions, and was quite generous about it too. Any other private instructor would have asked for a fortune for their services, but all she wanted was some dango and sake once a week."

He gave Kurenai one glass and motioned her three students to sit around the table where their glasses were waiting for them.

"Sake?" asked Kurenai.

"Well I needed something to wash down all those dangos," elaborated Anko.

Kurenai sighed. Her students were all seated around the table, so she would continue that discussion with Anko some other time. "Well, Anko already told me Naruto passed Kakashi's exam. I presume he told you the same?"

They all nodded.

"Using a clone disguised into Maito Gai was a truly innovative and… terrifying tactic," said Shino calmly.

Kurenai looked at the boy incredulously. He had used…

"Oh man, Yuuhi, you have to hear this. Naruto tell her what happened!"

Kurenai listened to Naruto's tale with rapt attention. The fact that Kakashi was 3 hours late to the test made her teeth grind, remembering all the meetings where she had to wait for that insufferable man to finally show up. Their test was clearly a heavily modified version of the infamous bell test, a far easier one, but according to Naruto they were failing it regardless. That is, until he performed his Gai-inspired distraction to let his teammates snatch the bell away from the masked pervert.

Overall, it made her fell good about her team that she didn't have to deal with someone as dysfunctional as the three genin of Team 7 were. What caught her attention most, however, was that Naruto was nothing like his academy report claimed. He didn't exaggerate things, wasn't insufferably loud, and didn't _appear_ to be overtly disrespectful. Seeing no reason not to, she decided to ask the boy about it. She noticed that Hinata was angered by academy assessment of Naruto, while Kiba just seemed surprised.

"What?" asked Kiba incredulously. "Are you sure you didn't get an old file by mistake? Naruto hasn't been like that for… oh, about a year?"

"He was _never_ that bad," stated Hinata firmly.

Naruto sighed. "Well, I _did_ do a lot of pranks, and I _did _disrupt the class a lot… but anyway, I don't like to talk about that topic."

"Why not?" asked Kurenai curiously. Naruto was clearly an important factor in the lives of her genin, and she wanted to know as much as she could about him.

Naruto looked at the bottle of sake on the table, lost in though for a few seconds.

"When I was 6 years old, I moved out of the orphanage into this apartment," began Naruto. "Apart from monthly visits from the Hokage and occasional conversation with the owners of Ichiraku ramen stand, I lived completely alone. I made my own food, bought my own clothes, and otherwise did everything without adult guidance. As a consequence, some of my choices proved to be… rather questionable. There are things that seem self-evident to a 6-year-old that actually aren't."

That was an understatement. Kurenai couldn't quite understand what the Hokage was thinking when he allowed something like that. A 6-year-old living alone!

"As a consequence, when I started attending the academy I lacked certain crucial skills that everyone took for granted. Things that the instructors assumed everyone knew. Since the instructors already disliked me, and since my questions were something they felt I should already know, they ignored me. I didn't like that. I doubt anyone likes to be ignored. In any case, unless I made a big enough disturbance, the instructors tended to overlook me when I wanted to ask a question or needed help. Accidentally, of course. As my bids for attention intensified, I lost sight of why I wanted the instructors to notice me in the first place. Gaining people's attention became the end in of itself. And since I never learned the basics, everything the academy was teaching went over my head. Anyway, to make the long story short, it took me a while till I realized I'd have to seek help from… _outside sources_ to get anything done."

Kurenai clearly saw the boy glance towards Anko when he mentioned 'outside sources' but she could see on Anko's face that her friend found something off about the story. In any case, Kurenai didn't miss the subtext of Naruto's tale – even if he wasn't physically abused, there are still ways in which being a jinchuuriki crippled his growth. She honestly never would have guessed the situation to be like this – after all those tales about the boy's connection with the Hokage, it just seemed implausible that he had been living in that sort of conditions.

"I don't get it!" said Kiba. "Why did you move out of the orphanage at age 6? Why did you live alone all this time, and in a dump like this no less? Why did the instructors dislike you? It just doesn't make any sense!"

Kurenai inhaled slightly. This could be rather inconvenient. Before she could defuse the situation, thought, Naruto spoke up again.

"It's simple really," said Naruto. "It's because I'm the container of the nine-tailed fox."

Absolute silence descended upon the room. Kurenai couldn't help but stare at the boy wild-eyed. He knew! And he said it so casually, too! After quickly regaining her senses, she realized that neither Shino nor Hinata had any reaction to this. Well, Shino she could understand, but Hinata? Anko just watched things in uncharacteristic seriousness and Kiba…

"W-What?" asked Kiba.

"I said I'm the container of the Kyuubi," repeated Naruto. "The story about the Yondaime killing it is a story the adults tell children because Old Man decreed no one is allowed to tell the truth. Except for me and him, that is. In any case, the truth is this: Yondaime couldn't kill the Kyuubi, because the Bijuu cannot be killed. Instead he sealed it into a newborn baby orphan - that is to say, me - and the sealing took his life in the process."

Naruto got up and rolled up his shirt, only to reveal a large seal springing to life before their eyes. Kurenai had never actually seen the seal, but now that she had she couldn't help but feel impressed with Yondaime's mastery of sealing arts. She didn't know anything about seals, but it looked incredibly complex.

"Shino and Hinata already know," said Naruto. "They've known for a while. I'm telling you this Kiba, because over the recent months we have become friends of sorts. If you choose to avoid me from now on, I will not take it against you. Know, however, that the knowledge of my tenant is an S-class secret of Konoha, and you are not allowed to spread this information around. On the pain of death."

Kiba slumped into the chair, staring blankly into the distance.

"Wow," he said finally. "I never would have guessed."

"Of course not," said Naruto with a smirk. "You're too dense for that."

Kiba snorted. "Tch. Don't you get cocky on me Naruto. Kyuubi or no Kyuubi, you're still no a match for me and Akamaru. As for your earlier question - fuck you! Who do you think I am, giving up on my rival over something like that?"

Kurenai breather a sigh of relief. Uzumaki Naruto truly was the most surprising genin she ever met.


	7. Secrets

"Babysitting?" asked Sakura with just a tiny trace of incredulity. Somehow she expected her first mission to be more… _important_.

The Hokage nodded, clearly amused by Team 7's reactions. "This morning you'll be babysitting my grandson."

"Oh!" said Sakura, brightening immediately. The Hokage's grandson? Well, that _was _important! "It will be an honor-"

"Like hell it will," said Naruto in a cranky, hostile voice, startling Sakura. The blonde rarely talked in that tone, and never to her. Before she could recover and punish him however, Kakashi beat her to it.

"Naruto…" Kakashi warned. "Show some respect to Hokage."

But the Hokage just laughed. "Don't worry Kakashi, Naruto is just talking that way because he knows what Konohamaru is like."

Sakura looked at Naruto suspiciously. _He_ knew Hokage's grandson? And what did the Hokage mean by that? Could the Hokage's grandson really be bad enough to make Naruto hate him? Naruto was a happy-go-lucky idiot that liked everyone. He just didn't have the depth of personality to actively dislike people, unlike her Sasuke-kun.

Mmmm, Sasuke-kun…

"Old Man, I don't remember doing anything to deserve this," said Naruto.

Sakura snapped out of her fantasy.

"Old Man!" she screeched, preparing to deliver a beating to the blonde. "What kind of language is that to address-"

"Sakura, please," the Hokage said. "Naruto and I know each other ever since he was a little kid. He knows how to be respectful when it's needed. _Right, Naruto?_"

"Of course, Hokage-sama," said Naruto in a mock-formal voice.

Sakura rolled her eyes but gave up on her quest of education the blonde. If the Hokage doesn't want to pursue the issue, why should she? Well, she kind of wanted to anyway, but…

"To answer your earlier question, Naruto," Hokage said, "I'm giving this mission to your team _precisely_ because you're in it. I have an important diplomatic meeting today, and Konohamaru has an uncanny tendency to bother me at the most sensitive of times. And as strange as it may sound, you're the only one who can keep him in line."

"Me?" asked Naruto suspiciously.

"Oh yes," Hokage nodded. "After your last confrontation with him in my office, Konohamaru stopped bothering me for two whole days. I've yet to see anyone else affect Konohamaru that strongly after such a brief verbal exchange. After seeing that display, I know that this mission will be a piece of cake to you, especially since you now have two very capable teammates to help you. I'm counting on you three to let me hold a meeting without interruptions. If Konohamaru slips through your fingers and ruins this, I'll turn this mission into a regular occurrence. Is that understood?"

Naruto actually paled at the threat and said, "Yes, Hokage-sama" without a trace of mockery. Sakura couldn't help but swallow heavily herself. The brat couldn't be that bad, couldn't he? She glanced at Sasuke, who looked totally unconcerned by the whole exchange.

She brightened immediately. If Sasuke wasn't concerned, then she shouldn't be either.

- break -

Naruto watched as Sasuke furiously rubbed paint out of his face. It should be funny, really, but after spending a full hour chasing after Konohamaru because the kid managed to incapacitate his teammates he didn't feel much like laughing. The tied and gagged bundle on the ground in front of Naruto squirmed and murmured, and Naruto resisted the urge to kick Konohamaru in the ribs.

Sasuke was actually rather good at evading Konohamaru's machinations, but the sheer number of them and their relatively unconventional nature ensured that he got ensnared into some. The unceasing onslaught made Sasuke angry, and thus sloppy. If Konohamaru were someone that Sasuke could kill or beat up to make him stop, the Uchiha could leave this missions unscathed, but not like this.

Moderately clean, Sasuke just shot a glare at Naruto and his prisoner before walking away. Naruto huffed – so he has to guard Konohamaru on his own? What good are teammates if they don't help you when you need help?

Naruto looked around. Sakura was still in the house, trying to wash off the itching powder Konohamaru dumped onto her back. The kid got her on his first try, too. He would be getting no help from her, and he wouldn't feel safe leaving Konohamaru under her guard.

Kakashi did nothing to help them, of course. He was always around, reading his porn and giggling like he has no worry in the world, even as Naruto desperately chased after Konohamaru. Even now he was on a nearby branch, ignoring Naruto's scrutinizing gaze.

"You know what? Screw this," said Naruto, untying Konohamaru, who immediately scrambled on his feet and moved towards a seated Naruto, glaring at him and invading his personal space.

Naruto yawned.

"I hate you," said Konohamaru finally.

"Oh, join the club," said Naruto in a tired voice.

"Why did you free me?" asked Konohamaru. "I could run away again."

"If you do, I'll just use poison to knock you out for the rest of the day" said Naruto crankily. "How does that sound?"

"That's no way to treat the next Hokage!" Konohamaru screamed.

Naruto sighed. If he was anything like the old Naruto, there was no way to make Konohamaru see what he's doing wrong. Not by talking, anyway.

"Prove it," said Naruto.

"Huh?"

"Prove you're a worthy candidate for a Hokage, and I will treat you like one," said Naruto. "Learn until your eyes get blurry, practice until your hands bleed, train until you can barely breathe anymore… and then, when you feel you're ready, seek me out and defeat me in battle. Only then will I acknowledge you as anything other than an annoying brat."

"Ha!" Konohamaru said smugly. "I can beat you right now!"

Naruto frowned. Should he? Ah, whatever. He slowly rose to his feet and got into a battle stance.

"Come at me then," he said emotionlessly to the scarfed menace before him.

Konohamaru grinned and charged with a battle-cry, only to have Naruto evade and stomp on the scarf trailing behind him. Konohamaru collapsed on the ground, coughing and clutching his neck.

"Is that all?" asked Naruto. "Is that everything the great Konohamaru, the next Hokage, can do against me?"

"I'm…" Konohamaru gasped. "I'm not…"

"Yes, you're definitely finished," said Naruto. "If I was so inclined, I could have killed you in 12 different ways the moment you hit the ground. You lost, you don't even have the decency to admit so."

Naruto turned around and started walking towards the house to gather his teammates.

"Where… where do you think you're going!" shouted Konohamaru after finally managing to get back up. "Our fight isn't fin-"

Konohamaru's defiant claim was interrupted when a kunai sliced through his cheek and embedded itself into the tree behind him.

"Don't make me get serious," said Naruto in a dangerous tone.

Seeing as how Konohamaru was too terrified to answer, Naruto turned around again and continued on his way. Just as he was about to step into the house to search for Sakura, Konohamaru's voice sounded behind him.

"One day, I _will_ defeat you," the scarfed boy declared.

Naruto craned his neck so Konohamaru could see his smirk.

"I'm looking forward to it brat. But make sure you come only when you're ready, because I'm not holding back next time."

Who knows? Maybe the kid wasn't as hopeless as Naruto thought?

- break -

It had been only two weeks since Naruto entered active service, and he was on the verge of breaking.

First of all, the missions consisted of cleaning up buildings, delivering packages, assisting the teachers in the academy, collecting herbs, filing paperwork, helping in the hospital, babysitting… it wasn't exactly what Naruto had in mind when he set out to become a ninja. Secondly, he no longer had anyone to spar with – his friends had their own teams, as well as increased responsibilities to their own clans now that they were genin. Third off, his team.

Just… his team.

They were an utter disappointment. Especially Kakashi - he expected Sasuke and Sakura to be terrible, but Kakashi's complete disinterest in his students was contemptible beyond words. He didn't train them, didn't give them any pointers, didn't even have them spar. They all showed up two hours after the designated time - no one was stupid enough to come at the time Kakashi specified - they did a mission, then dispersed. And that's it. Even after Naruto called Kakashi on it in front of the whole team, the man essentially just blew him off. And Naruto knew this was atypical, because he spied on dozens of other genin teams, and all of them were doing regular training with the aid of their Jounin supervisor. The only team that was almost as bad was Team 10, but even they trained on occasion.

Suddenly granted with a whole lot of free time and very little to do with it, Naruto found himself more and more frustrated with each passing day. Other genin were getting stronger while he remained miserable and idle. Not seeing any other solution, he turned to the one person he could always count on. He came to spend the majority of his day around Sasori, learning more advanced tricks surrounding puppeteering and studying his personality seals. More and more these lessons consisted of puppet battles between him and Sasori. There was something therapeutic in having a bunch of puppets smash each other to pieces. But even with this outlet, he couldn't help but feel resentful towards the Old Man for saddling with such a useless sensei, which is why he found it really hard not to kill this damn cat they were chasing!

Stupid cat, this was the _third time_ they got this mission in two weeks! Naruto frowned, catching sight of the miserable demon. The thrice-damned animal nearly clawed his eyes out the last time he tried to catch her. Even if his medic-nin training allowed him to heal the scratches, that was way too close. This time he wasn't taking any chances. The cat was in his sight and his teammates were nowhere to be seen.

He dropped in front of the animal. Instead of running, the cat charged at him, hoping to catch him off-guard. Not this time. Naruto threw a pellet in front of the rapidly approaching ball of fur, which exploded into a cloud of green smoke upon impact. The cat emerged from the smoke dazed, hacking and wheezing. After a few more wobbly steps and a pitiful snarl at Naruto, it collapsed to the ground. Naruto took a breath of relief – knockout gas for the win!

But that was just the easy part.

He crouched down towards the cat and inspected it. It was alive and breathing, so he didn't overdose it. Not that it mattered much – if the animal died, he'd just walk away and pretend he had nothing to do with it. It was just more convenient if the cat lived.

He took out a large sheet of paper thick with inscribed characters and placed the cat in the empty circle in the center of the paper. With a careful precision he went through a string of 15 hand-seals and pressed his hands to the cat's neck. The animals thrashed soundlessly in its sleep as the characters peeled themselves off the paper and seared themselves into the skin of its neck.

Naruto took several deep breaths to clear the dizziness in his head. You'd think that someone with his chakra capacity would never have to worry about chakra expenditure, but sealing was extremely chakra-intensive. Even a relatively simple seal like this took a lot out of him.

In any case, Tora would no longer give him any trouble. The seal he placed on her was one-part tracking seal that would allow him to locate her if they ever get this mission again, and one-part personality seal that would make Tora completely docile once Naruto's turned it on via activation phrase. All he had to do was locate the cat though the tracking seal and speak the command word to get the animal to cooperate.

He folded the now empty paper and shoved it into his pocket before picking the animal up and trudging off to find his teammates. He was a bit late to the spot where they said they would meet in regular intervals, but he figured the others would be understanding since he was basically bringing their target.

If not, fuck them.

"Naruto!" yelled Sakura. "You're late! Where-"

"I've got Tora," said Naruto blankly.

"You were supposed to notify your teammates when you find the objective," said Kakashi, looking at the cat peacefully sleeping in Naruto's arms with suspicion.

"Why? In the end it's always me who ends up having to capture the thing. All these two do is agitate the animal until it wants to rend the first person that approaches it to ribbons," said Naruto coldly. "As you can see, capturing it alone is a lot more beneficial to my health. In any case, I've reached an understanding with the cat. I don't think it will bother us as much in the future."

Sasuke snorted, and Sakura just looked at him incredulously.

"Well, anyway, let's deliver Tora back to its owner so we can all go home," said Kakashi.

Naruto didn't say anything, opting instead to wordlessly trudge off in the direction of the Hokage's tower. He was dimly aware of the questioning gaze Kakashi was sending him from time to time, but didn't really care. His so-called 'sensei' didn't deserve any answers, and neither did his two worthless teammates.

- break -

"Non-saturated, bounded field? Distributed mesh of activation conduits? Whiskers, what the hell is this stuff? I can't understand a single sentence of this!"

Naruto snatched the sealing scroll away from Ino's hands. Of course she didn't understand it. If he thought she could understand what was written there, he would have never let her take it away from him, even for a second. And why did he have to be 'Whiskers'?

He really fell low if he had to hang out with Ino for fun, but Team 8 was being worked to death by Kurenai and their respective clans, so they had little time for Naruto. She wasn't too bad once you get used to her, actually. Her taijutsu was certainly improving – today she actually landed a kick on him during their sparring!

"It's just something I'm studying in my free time, Ino-chan," said Naruto.

"Oh it's Ino-chan now, is it?" she said. "I thought you were a Sakura fan."

"Now, now, I'm just being friendly, not hitting on you," said Naruto with a good-natured smile. "We've been talking to each other often enough to be friends, I think. And besides, I haven't felt that way towards Sakura for a long time now, Ino-_chan_. I thought it was obvious."

"I don't know about that," said Ino. "I saw how she treats you. If you're not shooting for her, why do you let her treat you like dirt?"

"It's Sakura," said Naruto, as if that explained everything.

"So?"

"I don't expect her to be considerate to anyone except Sasuke."

Ino huffed. "As awesome as Sasuke is, that's no reason to abuse your other teammate for no reason."

"It's not really abuse," said Naruto. "She's just being callous and rude. That sort of thing only hurts if you allow it to."

"Whatever," said Ino, waving the whole thing off. Naruto knew Sasuke and Sakura weren't really her favourite subjects to talk about. Not to Naruto anyway – he had no patience for fangirlish drooling over the last Uchiha, and couldn't help her patch things up with her childhood friend.

"Smokestack still doing nothing but playing shogi with Shikamaru?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah. You know, I actually used that nickname in front of him and it surprised him like hell. I didn't know you two knew each other."

"Smokestack is the Old Man's son. When I was little the Old Man would bring me home with him every now and then and Smokestack would play with me. He was nice but I only met him a few times so I didn't really get attached to him in any way. I'm not really sure you could call it knowing one another."

"Well he sure knew where that nickname came from," said Ino. "I'd say you left an impression on him. By the way, how are the plants I gave you?"

"Two of them are looking good. One of them died."

"What! You killed one already!"

"But Ino-chan!"

"Shut up! Tell me what you did."

After an hour-long lecture from Ino about more not being always better when watering your plants, her speech slowly but surely turned into a self-pity party about how her girl friends from the academy days didn't invite her for some event or other.

"…and every time I talk to them they're busy with stuff. I mean, busy? Seriously? We're 12-year-olds! And most of them didn't even enrol back into the academy when they were sent back! What do they really have to do all day long?"

"Hang out with their civilian friends?" asked Naruto carefully.

"What? That doesn't make sense! Why with them and not with me?"

"Becoming a ninja means becoming enmeshed in a world of secrets and conspiracies," said Naruto. "This automatically isolates you from civilian population. Partly because you learn things which you cannot tell your former friends, either because you're forbidden to do so or because it would put them at risk, and partly because going off on missions just takes a lot of time that would normally go into cementing your relationships with people around you. You said it yourself, Ino – they don't have much to do with their time except socialize with other people. You have your missions, stupid as they currently are, and you have your job at your family flower-shop, so you're actually rather busy from their point of view. They'd have to go out of their way to maintain their ties with you, something that they don't seem to think is worth it. And don't forget that you succeeded in graduating where they failed, so there is bound to be some resentment as well."

Ino clacked her tongue in annoyance. "Well aren't we an expert on human nature. I happen to be a Yamanaka, and have a ninja for a father, so I assure you I know these things better than you do. I was just complaining to get these things off my chest. You're supposed to listen and provide moral support, Whiskers."

"Ah," said Naruto with a wry smile. "My apologies, then. Anyway, as I was saying, they're all stupid and they'll regret not basking in your heavenly presence one of these days."

"I can tell you're being sarcastic," warned Ino.

"Of course you can," agreed Naruto, still grinning. "You're a Yamanaka, after all."

"There you go again! This is your last warning!"

Naruto laughed, opting not to provoke her further. She wasn't much of a fighter, but if there was anything he learned about Ino it was that she had a very long memory and could nurse a grudge. He couldn't keep his guard around her at all times, so it was best if he didn't antagonize her _too_ much.

He rose up, dusting himself off, and turned to leave.

"See you around, Ino."

"Don't kill any more plants!" she called after him.

He waved back without turning and kept walking away.

- break -

Kakashi sighed heavily, took a moment to collect his thoughts, and then entered the Hokage's office. Sarutobi was sitting behind his desk, waiting for him with an air of calm. Without waiting for any prompting, Kakashi slumped down in the chair facing the man and waited.

"So Kakashi," said Sarutobi while refilling his pipe, "you've been with your team for two months now. What do you think?"

Kakashi mulled things around his head, trying to decide exactly what to say.

"They are a disaster," said Kakashi finally.

"You passed them," Sarutobi sighed.

"Would I have been allowed to fail them?"

"You could have. It would have been in character with your previous behavior."

Kakashi sighed. "Maybe. They did pass the bell test. Sort of. And I admit I was somewhat reminded of my own team when looking at their academy profiles, and that it influenced my decision somewhat, but…"

"…but they weren't exactly the second coming of your team," concluded Sarutobi.

"Right. Naruto is a lot more withdrawn than the records indicated, Sasuke is unwilling to cooperate with anyone, and Sakura's infatuation with Sasuke is bordering on pathological. They're all good ninja in their own way, just… not in the correct formation. Why were those three put together, again?"

Sarutobi looked Kakashi kindly, as if apologizing for putting him into such a situation.

"What about their skills?" asked Sarutobi, changing the subject.

"Sasuke is definitely the frontline type. Extremely gifted at taijutsu, very accurate, and has an array of fire techniques to use. Naruto is the reconnaissance type. Adept at surveying the terrain and gathering information, has downright frightening situational awareness, and is surprisingly good at tracking. He can find Tora in 10 minutes flat. Somehow. As for Sakura, she has perfect chakra control, and she's surprisingly shrewd when Sasuke isn't around. I'm guessing she'd be great at genjutsu."

The Hokage continued looking at Kakashi for several seconds before speaking. "But?"

"Dear Kami," said Kakashi, "where do I even start? Sasuke doesn't want to learn anything except direct combat skills, Sakura cares more about Sasuke's opinions than mine, and Naruto is hiding his abilities from me! Why couldn't I have gotten a normal team like Asuma did?"

Sarutobi smiled. "Naruto? Hiding? That'll be a day. He couldn't keep a secret if-"

"You're wrong," stated Kakashi calmly. "The boy _appears_ direct, but he is in fact studiously avoiding revealing his strengths. Several times now he has pulled previously unknown abilities when the situation called for it without batting an eye. Do you know he knows how to use medical techniques?"

The look of surprise on Sarutobi's face told Kakashi that no, he didn't.

"That he has several original techniques based off academy ones?" continued Kakashi. "That he can make storage scrolls? That he is skilled at accounting and business correspondence?"

The Hokage frowned. "But… how could he hide all these things?"

"Well…" said Kakashi cautiously. "Everyone I talk to seems to dismiss him out of hand. Like he's inconsequential. And while he's not exactly deceptive about his abilities, he doesn't flaunt them either. If he's not put in a situation that calls for him to use his skills he doesn't. My guess is that people didn't want to see anything good at him and he pandered to their prejudices. His manner of talk and dress further cause people to underestimate him."

Sarutobi leaned back, lost in thought for a moment.

"Normally I'd be impressed," continued Kakashi. "It's an admirable trait for a ninja to have. But we're supposed to be a team, and he's treating it like an infiltration assignment."

"So did you try following him?" asked Sarutobi.

"Easier said than done. He knows when he's being followed, even when I'm using my best genjutsu. He doesn't flaunt that ability either, but I can tell by his movements and behaviour that he knows I'm there. I don't think he can actually see through the genjutsu, since his attitude towards me is the same as it ever was, but he can definitely tell that _someone _is there."

"So you didn't find out anything?"

"Oh I found out lots of things," said Kakashi. "I found out he's good friends with members of Team 8, Anko, and Yamanaka Ino. He likes gardening, and has a small garden set up in an abandoned training ground. He reads a lot, though I never got close enough to see just what is on those scrolls he's always reading."

Sarutobi sighed heavily. "Do you think I should assign someone to follow him?"

"I don't think we should risk it," said Kakashi carefully. "Even if the trackers are good enough, being discovered in a tricky situation could push him too far. He's already seems convinced people are out to get him, and he has voiced displeasure for my training, or more specifically non-existence thereof, to everyone who would listen. To be honest, I'm getting a bit annoyed – I'm going to get quite a bad reputation if he keeps this up. Hokage-sama, surely I can teach them _something_?"

"Yes, well…" said Sarutobi. "Many people aren't sure whether Sasuke and Naruto can be trusted enough to be trained to their full potential. One is the Kyuubi container and the other is obsessed with killing his older brother. Until they prove their loyalty to Konoha we can't teach them anything serious. But I agree with you that teaching them nothing is going to be equally as disastrous. You said Sasuke is extremely good at taijutsu?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Good," said Sarutobi. "Work with him on that. It's going to be years before he can use that effectively, no matter how much skill he has, and it will keep him busy. You can teach Sakura genjutsu, and Naruto… well, you said he was the scout, and you have quite a lot of tracking expertise."

"Very well," said Kakashi. "If that's all right with you I will also teach them some basic skills, like tree-walking exercise."

"Approved," said Sarutobi. "And one more thing Kakashi… try to find out the full extent of Naruto's abilities. Put him on the spot if you have to. He was trained by Anko, he can take it. Everything you find out is to be reported to me, and _only_ to me, is that understood?"

"Yes."

"Good. You're dismissed."

- break -

It was a sunny day in Konoha, the same as any other, when Kakashi told them that they were 'taking things easy long enough' and started holding training sessions.

In Naruto's opinion, it was about time.

The very first thing Kakashi taught them was the tree-walking exercise. The look of Sasuke's face when Naruto and Sakura climbed to the top on their first try and he could not was absolutely priceless. Even greater surprise was Kakashi, who didn't act anything like what Naruto would have predicted. Instead of dropping everything to tend to the Last Uchiha™, Kakashi had mocked him mercilessly and left him to work on it until he can get to the top while he gave Naruto and Sakura pointers about how to improve their tree walking skill.

It took Sasuke only two days to master the exercise.

Unfortunately the lessons Kakashi organized for them afterwards were somewhat underwhelming – they consisted of tracking lessons, proper ways to set up a camp and forage for food in the wilderness, how to set up traps, how to detect and set up ambushes, 'ninja etiquette', and discussing combat scenarios. The only techniques he taught them were some simple genjutsu that Naruto and Sasuke were unlikely to ever use due to having more effective things in their arsenal. Finally, he would occasionally have the three of them fight against him to practice teamwork (or 'teach Sasuke how not to fry his team mates when fighting', as Naruto liked to think about it). Not exactly useless, no, but compared to what Naruto got from his other teachers… but anyway, he wasn't going to be like Sasuke, who was now grumbling all these things are a waste of his time. It was better than nothing.

"All right," said Kakashi. "You've been doing well lately so today we're going to do something different. We're going to have a spar."

Naruto grinned. _Now_ we're talking!

"First fight: Naruto versus Sakura," said Kakashi, motioning both of them to assume positions.

Naruto ran up to his position, thinking about it. It was rather peculiar, actually. What with the academy's gender segregation when it came to sparring, he never actually fought against Sakura. Sakura was ranked higher than Hinata, and he could never really defeat the Hyuuga. But Hinata didn't use gentle fist during academy matches so it was probably a rather misleading ranking.

Still… the best girl in the class, she ought to be good. He shifted into a battle stance.

Sakura cracked her knuckles, grinning wickedly. It was probably supposed to be scary, but when you've faced Anko, withstood Gai's exuberance, nearly been skewered by a clanking wooden construct, and cut open a human corpse, this level of threat doesn't perturb you much.

"Ready?" asked Kakashi. "Start."

Sakura charged immediately and Naruto opted to be on the defensive at the beginning. As she entered striking distance, however, Sakura threw a sloppy sideways punch at him and he changed his mind. The punch was so straightforward that he dodged it with trivial ease and carried so much force behind it that the miss left her unbalanced. This was the sort of opportunity you don't miss. He snatched her hand while she was still shaky and pulled her towards him, smashing his knee into her stomach in the very same movement. Air knocked out of her lungs, Sakura crumbled onto the grass like a wet napkin, wheezing and rolling pitifully.

Naruto couldn't believe it. _This_ was the best female ninja in the class? Hinata and Ino both were a lot tougher than this. Hell, his pre-Sasori self could beat Sakura today, if he could bring himself to hurt his precious 'Sakura-chan'.

"Well… that was short." Said Kakashi, scratching his chin.

"Na… ru… to…" said Sakura, rising from the ground slowly. "I'm going to _KILL YOU_!"

After rising painfully from the ground, Sakura rushed at him again with murder in her eyes. Since Kakashi didn't stop her, Naruto figured they're still sparring. Sakura flipped through a couple of seals and Naruto recognized it as one of the genjutsu Kakashi taught them. Unfortunately for her this one, just like most of them, was limited to visual stimuli. There seemed to be very few genjutsu users who thought with anything other than their eyes. Naruto closed his eyes and charged her, letting his ears guide his movements. Moments later, when he felt the genjutsu recede from his system he opened his eyes, intensifying his attack. He used his knowledge of the human body to at places that would do the least damage – there is no point in utterly humiliating an obviously inferior opponent – and waited for her to tire out. He suspected she tries easily, and he was right. After less than a minute of intense taijutsu she was panting like she was running a marathon. Her dress hampered her mobility and he kept thinking how easy it would be to snatch her by that long hair of hers and bash her head against the ground.

"All right, that's enough," Said Kakashi. "Naruto wins. Since Sakura didn't seem to have worn him out particularly we can move onto the next spar immediately. Naruto versus Sasuke. Prepare yourselves. Ready? Start."

Neither Naruto nor Sasuke charged, opting to observe the other for a few seconds. Naruto knew that Sasuke preferred for the opponent to make the first move and would start taunting him if he doesn't attack soon… and he wasn't in the mood for a taunting game. He grinned and placed his hands in a familiar hand-seal.

"Clone."

About 6 Sakuras appeared in front of him, causing Sasuke's face to twist in a horrified expression.

"Sasuke-kun!" one Sakura cooed. "He's sooooo cute!" the other one added.

And then, with girlish screams, they all lounged after Sasuke…

…who fireballed them all.

Next to Kakashi, the real Sakura fumed, glaring daggers at Naruto.

"Okay," said Kakashi. "New rule: no ninjutsu. Just taijutsu for this spar."

Naruto charged and, surprisingly, Sasuke charged at him in return. They clashed in the middle, throwing punches at each other. Sasuke was clearly better – he quickly managed to land three clean hits on Naruto. Naruto's shrugged them off as best as he could, hoping to wear Sasuke out in a protracted battle.

"Go Sasuke-kun!" yelled Sakura. "Pound that loser into the ground!"

Naruto dodged and counterattacked and dodged and… It was in vain. Naruto, despite all his efforts, was being 'pounded into the ground', as Sakura put it. He was going to lose.

And he didn't like to lose. Naruto had always fancied himself a frontline fighter, even if he did currently play the role of a scout and medic. He had sunk hours upon hours seeking help in developing his taijutsu, and now it turns out he can't even land a _single strike_ on Sasuke? It was Shino all over again, except it didn't hurt so much when Shino beat the crap out of him. Shino was a friend after all.

So he intentionally left a hole in his defences, letting Sasuke bury his fist deep into his stomach… and then snatched Sasuke's arm in the process and used his weigh to topple both of them to the ground. He tried his best to get Sasuke's arm into a dead-lock but it was clear the broody boy knew what he was trying to do and resisted quite effectively.

The result was Naruto and Sasuke rolling around on the ground like a couple of schoolboys in a street fight. It was… undignified. Thus Naruto's purpose was accomplished. Even if Sasuke wins, his pride would still be hurt by this turn of events. The fact that Kakashi was laughing at them would only make Sasuke angrier.

In the end Sasuke managed to free himself and they both got back up, only to have the fight terminated by Kakashi, who claimed he'd 'seen enough'. He didn't have Sakura and Sasuke fight, and Naruto could understand his reasons – Sakura would never fight her precious Sasuke-kun for real, so there was not much point to it.

He then started giving each one of them pointers about what they did wrong and had Naruto help Sakura while he works on Sasuke, claiming the broody boy would be helped more by sparring with him than either of them. While perhaps true, it left a sour taste in Naruto's mouth. He had nothing much to gain by sparring with Sakura either – after a few fights, it was clear that Sakura wasn't his match. She wasn't all that bad in terms of skill, now that she knew she has to take him seriously, but she had no stamina and resilience, and her movements betrayed a lack of regular practice. Worse, she kept paying more attention to Sasuke's fight with Kakashi then the one with him. Naruto debated the merits of beating her up rather viciously to convince her she should in fact pay attention to her opponent, when a better idea came to him.

"You know Sakura," said Naruto. "Ino is a lot better than you."

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide.

"W-What?"

"Yeah, she and I spar every week. Since we graduated from the academy, actually. She's pretty good, let me tell you, she can even beat me on occasion. How did you get better scores than her again?"

"S-Shut up!" Sakura screamed. "I'm ten times better than Ino-pig!"

"It doesn't seem like that to me. I could beat you without breaking a sweat!" He leaned towards Sakura conspirationally. "You know what? Sasuke once told me he never chose any of his fangirls because they were all _weak_. Ino is clearly taking this rivalry seriously. I think she has more chance of getting Sasuke-kun than you do."

That was a complete and utter lie, of course – Sasuke never spoke more than 3 words to him, much less confide something like that to him. But it worked – eyes blazing, Sakura charged at Naruto with renewed vigour.

- break -

Naruto waited silently while Hinata struggled with the cut on his arm, slowly healing it. It was a bit of a hack-job really, and Naruto could do it better and faster, but he supposed he could bear it out for the sake of helping his friend. She needed the exercise.

"T-There," she said finally. "All done."

"Thanks," said Naruto. "You're getting the hang of this faster than I did. I'm kinda jealous."

"Well Naruto," said Kurenai beside them, "I was certainly expecting a long chase after hearing so much about your exploits, but nothing like this. I'm actually rather disappointed in my team – they're supposed to be good at tracking and it took them 3 whole hours to track you down and subdue you. We're intensifying our training regimen from tomorrow on."

Kiba glared at Naruto, clearly unhappy about this, and Akamaru even sent a growl in the blonde's direction. It seems that unlike Naruto they have no shortage of training from their sensei. Or maybe they're just angry at Naruto for peppering them with stink bombs earlier? But what was he supposed to do, really? Kurenai had asked him to hold out as long as possible against her team while they attempts to track him down.

It's not his problem that they suck at tracking.

"Anyway, I wanted to give you all this," said Naruto, taking out a bunch of scrolls and throwing they all to Kiba, Shino, and Hinata.

"These are storage scrolls," said Kiba with a frown. "I don't think someone in your financial position should be buying us something this expensive."

"It costs nothing when you make them yourself," said Naruto. "Well, except for the cost of ink and paper, but I'm not _that_ poor."

"You can make those?" asked Kiba. "I thought sealing was some high-level shit?"

Kurenai glared at the Inuzuka, silently telling him to watch his language. Kiba crossed his arms over his chest and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Sure is," said Naruto. "Because even the simplest seals require _massive_ amount of chakra. Most people don't have the necessary chakra reserves to practice sealing until they reach Jounin, and some not even then. However, my tenant grants me massive amounts of chakra to use, so…"

"Still…" said Kurenai, turning the storage scroll in her hands. "Finding someone to teach you how to make those is impressive enough. There aren't many seal masters around, even in Konoha."

"Actually, the creation process of storage scrolls and explosive notes isn't that secret," said Naruto. "That's why they're so easy to come by. It's the other types of seals that are hard to find a teacher for."

"A masterful use of misdirection," said Kurenai wryly. "You imply that you only know how to make storage scrolls, and perhaps explosive notes, but you never actually say so. Unfortunately, I've seen plenty of sealing scrolls and these are not the standard ones – if anything they look more sophisticated than regular ones."

Naruto chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. Busted.

"But anyway," said Kurenai. "I doesn't really matter to me. Not my business to pry. I assume you're willing to be my team's target next month, too?"

"If nothing unexpected comes up, sure," said Naruto.

"And you better believe we won't take three hours next time," said Kiba.

"Indeed," agreed Shino.

Naruto grinned. "We'll see, we'll see… Next time I'm aiming for five."

Cackling maliciously, he jumped up and ran while Kiba and Akamaru chased after him, shouting and barking.

Damn, he kind of missed these sorts of chases.

- break -

Naruto just couldn't let things continue like this. That's why, after one of Team 7's training sessions he stayed behind to discuss things with Kakashi. His sensei seemed to be waiting for him.

"You're being very unfair," began Naruto.

"How so?" asked Kakashi, for once not reading his damnable porn while talking.

"Sasuke and Sakura are getting a decent deal out of these training sessions, but _I'm_ getting very little benefit. The teamwork lessons all boil down to getting Sasuke to care for what his teammates are doing, the genjutsu are only useful to Sakura, and since I'm constantly sparring with Sakura while you spar with Sasuke, they are the only one whose taijutsu is improving. Tracking is nice and all, but I want to be able to _fight_!"

"Well, Naruto, I've tailored the lessons to develop your strengths," said Kakashi, "and it's hard to do so for someone who's hiding his abilities from me."

Naruto exhaled in annoyance. "Let me guess, you're the one who followed me around a while back?" When Kakashi didn't say anything, Naruto took that as a sign of admission. "Look Kakashi-sensei, these abilities that I'm 'hiding', as you say, aren't something you can help me with."

"How do you know that?" asked Kakashi curiously. "More importantly, how do you expect to work with your team effectively if you intend to pull out unknown abilities in dire situations? Your teammates need to know your capabilities if they are to reach correct decisions on the field."

"Oh give me a break," said Naruto. "You mean like Sasuke pulling out new fire techniques out of his ass every once in a while? Where is he getting all of those, anyway? Every time I try to get some techniques it turns out people guard them like most precious of treasures."

"The old Uchiha library at their compound probably," said Kakashi. "In any case, if you're worried about a repeat of Anko, you don't have to worry. I haven't gotten in the way of you receiving help from Kurenai and her team, have I? Aside from medical techniques and storage scrolls, what else can you do?"

"Well, it seams like you already know-" began Naruto

"Cut the crap Naruto," said Kakashi crankily. "We both know that's not all you're hiding."

"What do you mean?" asked Naruto innocently. "What else would I be hiding?"

"Well, there's that 'understanding' you reached with Tora that let's you find it in 10 minutes flat. You'll forgive me if I find it implausible you actually spoke to that furry demon and got it to cut you a deal."

"Tracking seals."

"Tr… You placed tracking seals on Tora?"

"Duh. As for capture, you'd be surprised how docile animals get once they're hit with a dose of knockout poison."

"Ah. I was wondering why it's so subdued when you carry it. But anyway, that's exactly what I'm talking about: you never indicated that you know how to place tracking seals. Naruto, I'm not asking you to tell me where you got these skills-"

"Because you'll just assign someone to shadow me until they find out."

"No, I won't. All I ask is that you tell me what I can expect from you. That's all. Anything you tell me is going to be strictly between you, me, and the Hokage. You trust the Hokage, don't you?"

Naruto pouted. He came here to give Kakashi a mouthful, but here he was, backed into a corner with little choice in what to do. He was never a very good liar, and it was clear that Kakashi and the Old Man were starting to get restless around the mystery he represented. He would have to throw them a bone or two.

"All right," said Naruto. "First of all, nothing I've said so far was a lie, just incomplete."

"I know," said Kakashi with amusement. "I have to commend you on that – most ninjas don't realize that it's easier to hide the truth with another truth than with lies. If your stories were pure fabrications, you wouldn't have lasted even one-fourth as long."

"Right," said Naruto. "About my skills… Huu, let's see… I am fairly proficient with a variety of seals, and the theory behind them. I know a great deal about poisons. I guess you already know I have a fair bit of medic-nin training, but it's not just medical techniques but the whole deal. I have a really neat trick with explosive seals embedded on a kunai that let me stand up to Mizuki and-"

"Wait, back up a bit. What trick?"

Naruto pulled out one of his special kunai and showed it to Kakashi before throwing it into a nearby tree and causing it to explode with a tug on the chakra string connected to the explosive seals riddling its surface.

"No note…" said Kakashi, training off. "And no signs of explosion before it happens. How do you do that?"

"It's a secret," said Naruto with a grin.

"Hmph," grunted Kakashi, before getting a far-away look. "That's one nasty surprise you've got there Naruto. It reminds me of one other person who used special kunai…"

"Really? Who?"

"It's a secret," said Kakashi with a smile. "Anyway, is that all?"

"No," said Naruto. "I have one other skill, but I intend to keep that one a secret until I become Chuunin at least. I will tell you this, though – unless things _really_ gosouth, I don't intend to use it before then, either. I'm still not proficient enough in it to use it reliably."

Kakashi scrutinized Naruto for several second. Naruto did his best to look as bored and apathetic as possible. He called it his Sasori impersonation.

"Very well," said Kakashi. "You will have to tell this to your teammates, you realize?"

"Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea," said Naruto. "I suppose Sasuke wouldn't care either way, but Sakura could never keep her mouth shut about it."

"She will," said Kakashi. "I will make sure she understands the importance of not revealing things about your teammates without their permission."

Naruto was going to protest when an idea came to him. It seemed crazy at first, but he started thinking about and concluded that he has nothing to lose. It's not like he was getting along well with either Sasuke or Sakura. Hell, if they freak out, maybe he could get Old Man to finally put him with someone else.

"Kakashi-sensei… I have an even better idea."

- break -

"Well that's all for today," said Kakashi. "Not so fast Sasuke, today Naruto is going to tell us all something about himself."

Sakura and Sasuke actually exchange glances at this, unsure how to react at this turn of events, before gathering up and sitting on the grass around Kakashi and Naruto. Sakura tried to edge closer to Sasuke, but a glare from the Uchiha stopped her. Suddenly in a bad mood, she turned towards Naruto.

"What did you do now?" she asked with annoyance.

"I told Kakashi a few secrets about myself, and he insisted I share them with you," said Naruto calmly. "Teamwork and all that."

"What do secrets have to do with teamwork?" said Sakura, before looking at Kakashi. "You're not going to make us tell our secrets, too, are you?"

"Unless you're keeping some of your abilities secret like Naruto, no," said Kakashi.

"Secret abilities?" asked Sasuke with a frown, suddenly interested.

"Yes," said Naruto. "But first, I have one _other_ secret to tell you. The thing is, though, _this_ secret is classified as an S-class secret of Konoha and the only people allowed to talk about it are me and the Hokage. This means that if you blabber on about what I tell you today you get executed."

Sakura paled while Sasuke just straightened up, suddenly _really_ interested.

"If you can't handle that kind of pressure, you can leave now," said Kakashi. He knew that wouldn't happen though – Sasuke wouldn't leave for anything, and by extension Sakura wouldn't either.

"Start talking already," Sasuke snapped.

"Ahem," Naruto coughed theatrically. "12 years ago Kyuubi was approaching Konoha. The Fourth Hokage searched far and wide for something that could kill the nine-tails. He failed."

"But-" protested Sakura.

"He failed," stated Naruto more firmly, "because the Bijuu cannot be killed. They are creatures of raw chakra, simply reforming after a while if they're ever dispersed by a strong enough attack. Instead, the Fourth found a way to seal the Kyuubi away into a newborn baby."

Naruto paused for effect before pointing at himself with both thumbs and a giant grin. Sasuke and Sakura looked at Kakashi incredulously, trying to see if this is some sort of an elaborate prank. Kakashi nodded gravely, and Sakura reached out with her hand and pinched Kakashi's shoulder.

"Ouch," said Kakashi, rubbing the spot.

"He's not a clone," said Sakura. "But that means…"

"Prove it," said Sasuke suddenly, his eyes boring into Naruto's.

Naruto lifted up his shirt and a complex seal soon erupted into existence on his stomach. This was actually the first time Kakashi had seen the seal and he was very impressed. He had very rudimentary understanding of sealing, mostly limited to having memorized a few common seal arrays with the help of his sharingan, but even he could see that something like this required tremendous skill. To create something this complex while pressed for time and succeed in sealing the greatest of the Bijuu with it was damn impressive.

"Naruto really is…" began Sakura.

"The term is jinchuuriki," said Kakashi. "The Fourth wanted the people of Konoha to view Naruto as a hero that saved Konoha, but many civilians and a few ninjas didn't see things that way. As a consequence, the Third decreed that no one would discuss Naruto's status as a jailor of the Kyuubi under the pain of death."

Kakashi had to admit things went as Naruto predicted – once he told them that he housed the strongest of Bijuu in his belly, the fact that he has been keeping his sealing expertise and his medic-nin training secret from them seemed downright inconsequential by comparison.

In any case, this was the first time the three of them had talked amongst each other since their graduation, so this was definitely a success in Kakashi's eyes.

Maybe there is hope for this team, after all.


	8. Trial by Fire

"Sakura…"

"Yes, Sasuke-kun?"

"Shut. Up."

Sakura looked at the ground dejectedly. Even after months of being in the same team, Sasuke wasn't interested in talking to her. Worse, now that she was no longer in the Academy, she had no one to discuss her crush with. Actually, scratch that, she had no friends _period_. Pining after Sasuke-kun was a lot less fun now, what with him reminding her every day that her feelings are unwanted and without the pressure of competition from the rest of the girls in class.

So here she was, alone with Sasuke-kun, something that should by all rights be a dream-come-true, wishing for Naruto and Kakashi to show up already so they could get this mission over with. How did it come to this?

She glanced up towards their client, a drunkard bridge-builder that they were supposed to be escorting to the Land of the Waves. The old drunk was mumbling something to himself, and Sakura had a feeling it was something rude towards her and the rest of her team. What was his problem, anyway? Yeah, they were still fresh from the academy, but it wasn't like this mission was dangerous or anything. Who would want to attack a bum like him? A bridge-builder, for Kami's sake!

"Hey, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Naruto beside her. Once again the blonde managed to arrive without her ever noticing his presence before he announced it. She greeted him politely, but otherwise said nothing. She still didn't know what to think of Naruto after his 'big reveal'. She didn't really take the whole Kyuubi thing against the blonde, but… well, she wasn't stupid. She knew that despite Naruto's cheery disposition towards her, he had little respect for her… or for Kakashi and Sasuke, for that matter.

So why did the blonde tell them all these highly personal details? What kind of secrets was the blonde guarding that he had to go so far to provide a plausible smokescreen? Sakura was tempted to try to get it out of him in private, but she heard from reliable sources that Naruto could even outmaneuver Ino when it comes to verbal exchanges, and Sakura could never match Ino in that area without dragging the discussion down to the level of insults and name-calling. More worryingly, Naruto seemed to get pretty vicious when feeling threatened… she had a small but non-trivial fear that if she stuck her nose where it doesn't belong she would have one of those 'unfortunate accidents' or disappear without a trace.

She frowned. Something was in particular was bothering her about Naruto today, but she couldn't quite point her finger on it. Suddenly it dawned on her.

"Naruto, you idiot," she chided. "You forgot to bring any supplies. We'll be out in the wilderness for _at least_ a week. Hurry up and get your backpack before Kakashi shows up."

He shook his head and pointed at his belt, which contained a dozen or so neatly tucked in scrolls. "Storage scrolls," he said.

"Oh."

Well she felt rather stupid now. And he even told them he can make those, too.

"I can make one for you when we get back."

"No, you don't-"

"I'm not hitting on you," he said with a sigh.

"I know you're not. I… you know, just forget it. The point is, I don't need a storage scroll."

"All right. Your loss."

Sakura sighed. Every time she tries to act nicer to the blonde it comes out wrong. She glanced towards Sasuke, but the Uchiha just pretended his two teammates don't exist. It actually made Sakura a bit angry – would it kill him to at least stand closer to them so they could act as a real team from once?

Back when Naruto told them about the Kyuubi and his 'secret skills', Sasuke was actually somewhat talkative, and it almost seemed like the whole things had brought them further together, but it soon became obvious that Sasuke still saw his team as a nuisance… only now he saw Naruto as a _threat_, rather than a dead-weight dragging him down.

The latter designation was now exclusively reserved to Sakura.

Sakura huffed and kicked a nearby rock down the path. And she was so happy when she heard who she was placed with, too! It sucked. Totally sucked.

"Yo!" said Kakashi, appearing on the scene right next to Naruto, who instinctively jumped into battle stance at this disturbance. Sakura rolled her eyes in annoyance – their sensei seemed to love surprising Naruto lately, for some reason pleased that he can sneak up on a rookie genin.

Really, some people have too much time on their hands.

"Finally!" Tazuna said. "I want to be home as soon as possible."

"I don't see what you're so upset about," said Naruto. "Sensei's actually on time for once and we're right on schedule."

"I'm annoyed that I have a bunch of kids as bodyguards," grumbled Tazuna. "And that one of them is a scrawny runt like you. Are you sure you're a ninja?"

"Do you expect to be attacked?" asked Naruto with a frown.

Color drained from Tazuna's face. "N-No, of course not."

"Then there will be no problems," yawned Naruto, waving his hand dismissively.

"Alright, we can continue talking while we walk," said Kakashi. "Move out everyone."

With a sigh and a glance back at the village, Sakura trudged off after her team.

Since this was the first time she was out of the village, the feeling of elation soon washed away her foul mood, and she soaked up the sounds and sights of the forest surrounding them. Despite the emotionally significant experience, Sakura did her best to act with dignity. Naruto had no such compunctions - he was jumping around from one side of the path to another, checking up on anything remotely interesting and even taking brief foray into the surrounding wilderness after he got permission from Kakashi to 'scout the area'. He only calmed down 2 hours later, whereupon he took it upon himself to annoy Sasuke in various ways during the journey.

Normally Sakura would have reacted to this behavior by now, but today she had other business to take care of and besides… she was feeling a bit vindictive about Sasuke giving her the cold shoulder earlier, so she decided he could deal with Naruto himself for today. Once she was sure both Sasuke and Naruto were well in the front and out of earshot, she dropped her speed to match with Kakashi at the back.

"Something wrong, Sakura?" Kakashi asked.

"Kakashi-sensei…" began Sakura, "Am I useless?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow over his one visible eye. "Why would you think that?"

"Sasuke is an Uchiha and Naruto has massive chakra reserves thanks to the Kyuubi," said Sakura. "How can I be useful to people like that? I'm supposed to be their teammate, but I… I'm just going to be a burden to them, aren't I?"

"Ah," said Kakashi. "You're looking at this the wrong way. _All_ ninja have some kind of inborn advantage. True, some of them are more potent than others, but all of them require work to be useful. Sensitive hearing can be just an interesting personal quirk, or a powerful advantage that allows you to shrug off the genjutsu your pink-haired teammate is repeatedly trying to put on you. It all depends on how hard you work on it."

Sakura's eyes bulged. "That… that's how he does it! That's why none of my genjutsu work on him!"

"I know!" said Kakashi, smiling. "It's so simple it took me a while to figure it out!"

"All this time I thought I was just hopeless with genjutsu," said Sakura crankily. "That _asshole_! He could have told me instead of letting me feel like shit! I'm going to-"

"You realize he can hear every word we say?" asked Kakashi with amusement.

Sakura stared at him wild-eyed before looking at Naruto. The blonde was walking as if nothing was wrong. Technically he shouldn't be able to make out what they were saying at this distance but if he really has _that_ good hearing…

"Wait…" said Sakura. "If he can understand us from there, that means that every time I was saying something out of his earshot he…"

"Heard everything," finished Kakashi.

"Everything?" Sakura said in a panicky voice. She used to say pretty embarrassing things under her breath back in the classroom. If he heard all that stuff, then…

Naruto chose that moment to turn his head enough to give Sakura a toothy grin and silently mouthed 'everything'.

Sakura shut her eyes in defeat, fighting off embarrassment and the urge to go over to Naruto and pummel him into submission. Since the blonde kept it a secret all this time, he clearly already had some consideration for her privacy, and abusing or threatening him might just set him off. Naruto seemed to enjoy annoying people, and if he knew how much this bothered her he might spread the rumors around just for the reaction.

Of all the people to know her innermost thoughts…

"Anyway, back to out discussion," said Kakashi. "Even bloodline limits like the Sharingan and Byakugan derive most of their power from specialized techniques and taijutsu styles that accentuate the clan's unique abilities, not from the raw abilities granted by the bloodline. And you will notice that Naruto and Sasuke have worked hard to be as good as they are right now – it's not just inborn advantage. After all, Sasuke still doesn't have the sharingan, yet he's the rookie of the year, and training to be a seal-master and a medic-nin at the same time is hard work, regardless of chakra reserves. If you want to keep up with them, all you need to do is work as hard as they do."

"But work hard on what?" protested Sakura.

"Hm," said Kakashi, rubbing his chin. "Tell you what… when we get back to Konoha we'll find something that suits you. You'll be catching up to them in no time."

Sakura sighed. She doubted that, but it doesn't hurt to give it a try.

It would be nice not to feel like a third wheel for once.

- break -

"_Maaan_, this is so boring," complained Naruto. "Hey old geezer, aren't you the one who said you want to be back home as soon as possible? Can't you pick up the pace a little?"

"Now, now," chided Kakashi, not talking his eyes of his perverted literature. "Patience is a crucial skill for a ninja, Naruto. We're in no hurry."

"Naruto…" said Sakura sweetly. "If you have so much pent-up energy, maybe you could carry my backpack for a while. What do you say?"

"Nah," said Naruto with a smile. "You need the exercise if you really intend to catch up to me and Sasuke."

After a second of nothing happening, Naruto glanced at Sakura from the corner of his eye. She seemed somewhat annoyed at him but otherwise calm. Strange. Usually she would have hit him by now, or at least sent a few choice curses his way.

Over all, he had to pronounce his confession maneuver hadn't produced the results he was hoping for. He was expecting Sasuke and Sakura to either sympathize with his position or hate his guts even more. Either reaction would have suited his purposes. This sort of lukewarm response just messed up everything. Ah well… at least it got Kakashi off his back. Though it was very worrying that the man seemed to have devised a way around his hearing. If Kakashi decided to spy on him later on, how will Naruto detect it now? He had to find out how he does it. Was it some sort of special genjutsu?

"**I told you not to worry about genjutsu,"** rumbled Kyuubi crankily in the back of his mind. **"There is no genjutsu that I cannot break you out of with ease. That man is just being careful not to make any noise. Listen carefully and he will not catch you unaware in the future."**

Naruto merely grunted in response. It wasn't that he was doubting Kyuubi's _capabilities_, as much as its _intentions_. If the fox ever decided it was in it's best interest not to help Naruto, it wouldn't. It was unwise to rely on it's power. This whole 'partnership' was merely one of convenience.

Unbidden, the voice of Sasori came to him and told him that _all_ alliances in the ninja world are like that.

Even in the sanctity of his own mind, he could not escape Sasori's cynical views.

Just as he was contemplating the merits of starting a fight with Sasuke just to pass the time, something caught his attention.

"Wait up, wait up," he said loudly, suddenly stopping. Combination of the gesture and the fact that he was at the front caused everyone to stop and stare at him. "What do you two think you're doing?"

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other curiously. Sasuke shrugged.

"Naruto, what do you-" began Sakura.

"Not you two, the people in front of us. Yes, you two. I don't have to see you to know you're there. You've got so much metal on you I could hear the clinking from a mile away."

Nearby puddle of water melted away, revealing two strangely dressed men. Naruto quickly scanned them. Their attire and the slashed hitai-ates identified them as former mist ninja. They were armed to the teeth and didn't look all that friendly.

Great. He just knew there was something rotten about this mission. After all, why would a simple bridge-builder hire ninja bodyguards for a routine journey back home? And, of course, the man was curiously stressed-out. Naruto suspected that had Tazuna not got so sloshed, his body-language would have betrayed his deception with crystal clarity.

"My, my, my…" said Kakashi to the mist ninja, his eyes still on his precious literature. "Bested by a rookie genin. You must feel pretty foolish now."

"Gozu… what should we do?" one of the mist ninja spoke to the other in a hushed voice.

The other ninja glanced over Naruto and his group, giving Tazuna a particularly hard stare before shaking his head.

"We can't win here," Gozu said.

And they fled. Just like that.

"Was it really alright to let them flee?" Naruto said. "I'm pretty sure they just tried to ambush us. Who's to say they won't try to do it again?"

Kakashi pocketed his book and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I don't think it's wise to pursue them through the forest. Someone has to stay to guard Tazuna, and there could be more than two of them. Really, it's a pity you exposed them like that."

"Eh!" Naruto protested.

"Yes," Kakashi repeated. "I wanted to see how you handle an ambush situation."

"Wait a minute here," Sakura piped in. "Are you saying you knew they were there but didn't say anything! What if they had killed us?"

Sasuke snorted and rolled her eyes.

"You've got nothing to worry about with me around," said Kakashi. "Besides, the point is moot – Naruto already shot that plan out of the water. I do wonder though… what exactly were they after?"

"What do you mean?" asked Sakura.

"Well, I don't mean to brag but I have a pretty high bounty on my head," said Kakashi. "But they seem a bit of a small fry to target _me_. It's possible that they were after a… _different_ target."

Kakashi shot a long glance towards Tazuna.

"D-Don't be ridiculous!" Tazuna protested. "What would ninja want to do with me! I'm just a bridge builder!"

"If you say so," said Kakashi calmly. "Well, I suppose we have no choice but to keep going and hope there won't be more to come. Stick close and pay attention to your surroundings, kids."

The atmosphere became a lot heavier from that point on.

- break -

"Kakashi-sensei…" began Naruto.

"He's lying," said Kakashi. "I know. What exactly would you have me do? Accusing your client based on a personal hunch is bad manners. Now if you had allowed those two ninja to attack and reveal their target, _that_ would have been something…"

"Well fuck you too!" hissed Naruto. "If you wanted them to attack so badly, why didn't you give me some sort of sign?"

"That's no way to speak to your Jounin-sensei, Naruto," Kakashi sighed. "But anyway, it doesn't matter much. Even if you found out that the mission is more dangerous than you thought, would you really back down? Would Sasuke?"

Naruto frowned. Probably not.

"We'll find out who's after Tazuna soon enough," said Kakashi.

Naruto looked around again. From the moment they stepped on the coast of the Land of the Waves, the fog has been thickening, obscuring everything more than few meters in front of them.

"The fog isn't normal," said Naruto. "It dampens the sounds."

Kakashi nodded. "It is to be expected. Those two were to weak to survive as missing-nin on their own. Now that they know they'll have to go through me to reach their target, they'll get serious. Go to your teammates and tell them to be on high alert."

Naruto took only two steps when he heard footsteps. He spun in an instant and launched a kunai behind him, causing everyone to shift into battle positions. However, rushing towards the spot, all he found was a skewered rabbit.

"False alarm," said Naruto, displaying the animal carcass.

"What the hell Naruto? You just killed that poor rabbit!" Sakura yelled.

"Eh, whatever. At least now we have some dinner later," Naruto said dismissively.

"Get down!" shouted Kakashi, pulling down Tazuna, Sasuke and Sakura.

Naruto was too far away for that, but even through the sound-dampening mist, he could hear the sound of something big flying through the air, so he was already dropping when Kakashi spoke. Which was good, because whomever threw that seemed to be targeting Naruto in particular. If his reaction was a fraction of a second slower he would have been hit.

Scrambling to his feet, he could see a giant blade embedded into a nearby tree, and a very strange man with a slashed mist hitai-ate standing atop it.

"You've got good ears to hear me coming through this mist, boy, I'll give you that," the man said in a raspy voice distorted by the bandages covering the lower half of his face. "But you're way out of your league here. Why don't you get back while adults do the talking."

"Momochi Zabuza – demon of the bloody mist," said Kakashi, lifting his hitai-ate to reveal his sharingan.

"Ah, so you know me?" said Zabuza with amusement. "I'm honored, thousand Kakashi."

"What do you want?" said Kakashi.

"Nothing much, just the head of the bridge-builder you're escorting," Zabuza said calmly. "Hand him over and you and your genin can go home alive and in one piece."

Kakashi frowned. "I'm afraid the answer is no. Everyone, form protective formation around the client."

"Heh. Hidden mist technique."

If the mist was bad before, this technique Zabuza did made it 10 times worse. Naruto could hardly see things right in front of him, and even his hearing was crippled. The only sound that wasn't impeded was Zabuza's voice, echoing all around them, enumerating the various spots that were lethal if hit. He actually missed a few, but considering they were hard to hit in battle Naruto wasn't surprised a non-medic like Zabuza knew nothing about them. In any case, the echoing nature of the voice made it impossible for Naruto to pinpoint Zabuza's location.

Naruto exhaled in a low hiss. It was bad. He really couldn't stand up to this Zabuza in any way – he couldn't see or hear the man coming, couldn't block the attacks from that giant sword of his, and he couldn't move away from Tazuna to use the terrain to his advantage and set up some traps.

When he heard the soft sound of someone landing beside his team and Tazuna, he knew he was dead.

Instead, Zabuza's swing was stopped by a Kakashi's kunai sticking out of his chest.

Naruto stared wide-eyed at the scene. One moment nothing was happening, and the other –this. That… was unlike anything he ever witnessed. Truly Zabuza was right at the start – Naruto was _way_ out of his league!

But then a doubt invaded his mind. Something was wrong. The kunai went through Zabuza's torso far too easily. In fact, the wound was oozing water!

Zabuza's form shuddered and collapsed into liquid.

The battle ranged around them, and from brief glimpses Naruto could witness, it was clear that both opponents were making a judicious use of clones.

Finally, Naruto snapped out of the daze induced by the combined killed intent of two elite ninja and the sheer disorienting nature of his situation. That was Kakashi's battle – Naruto had his own.

"Sasuke, Sakura, we've got two opponents coming here fast. I think it's those two from earlier."

"R-right," said Sakura, holding her kunai in front of her like a good-luck charm.

"I can't see anything!" hissed Sasuke.

"Don't worry, those two are not anywhere near as silent as Zabuza. Just pay attention to _me_, and you'll do fine," said Naruto.

Naruto grinned – Zabuza may be one hell of an opponent, but these two coming after them were so loud that Naruto could hear them even through this damnable mist. As long as Kakashi takes care of Zabuza, they should be alright.

"Hey, Haku!" shouted Zabuza from somewhere. "The orange one is getting troublesome! Make sure he doesn't interfere anymore!"

Naruto swallowed heavily. Another one?

He had a bad feeling about this.

- break -

Suppressing the yell of pain, Naruto ripped out the needles out of his left shoulder and quickly repaired the damage. His fingers twitched, fine coordination finally coming back to the arm connected to his wounded shoulder. If it weren't for his medic-nin knowledge, he would have already been neutralized by now. At the very least he would have seriously injured himself by removing the needles inappropriately.

But Naruto didn't fool himself – this 'Haku' that Zabuza ordered to keep Naruto busy had succeeded in his goal. Naruto was indeed busy, and quite far away from his teammates. He could only hope that Sasuke could handle those two attackers on his own, because Naruto had his hands full right now. Haku was fast, even faster than Sasuke, frighteningly accurate, and could pull needles out of thin air. Literally! He seemed to freeze the moisture of the mist into chakra-enhanced ice to use as weapons. During their lessons, Sasori had told Naruto that this bloodline limit was destroyed during the Mist bloodline purges, but apparently there were survivors.

He jumped away, narrowly avoiding a barrage of needles on his position. Not only was Haku dangerous in combat, but he was quite good at tracking down Naruto every time he managed to slip away. He saw through Naruto's traps as easily as Naruto saw through Konohamaru's handiwork, and he never, ever, overextended himself.

A true professional.

Haku was trying to maneuver him near water. Oh, the ice boy tried to be subtle about it, but Naruto was pretty well versed in reading the flow the battle. Whatever he was planning, Naruto would not be playing along. Fighting a mist ninja on in his own element would be extraordinarily foolish.

Once again Naruto threw one of his special kunai at Haku, but the ice mirror that sprung out of nowhere between the two of them deflected it. The ice mirrors Haku made seemed to be unbreakable, and explosions could not overpower them. Naruto hissed in frustration. He was running out of options – his teammates needed him!

"You should stop worry about your comrades and pay attention to your own fight," said Haku softly before flashing through a series of one-handed seals.

It was bad. No, it was worse than bad, it was a disaster! Not paying enough attention, Naruto had ignored the thickening mist around him, and was now paying the price for his sloppiness. The fog around Naruto condensed into hundreds of needles, all ready to strike. With no other solution he could think off, Naruto grasped for the storage scroll holding Naga and unsealed it. The snake-like puppet wrapped itself protectively around Naruto just in time to protect Naruto from the ice needles.

Haku may have been a professional, but the sight of Naga made him pause in surprise. It was all that Naruto needed. In a sudden movement, Naga's stinger-tipped tail lashed out against the ice boy with blinding speed, punching through the half-formed mirror as if it was nothing and causing Haku to sloppily try to sidestep the attack. The stinger slashed through Haku's chest, not quite making the killing blow but definitely putting the boy out of the fight.

But Naruto wanted to be sure, so he instructed Naga to open its mouth and let loose a breath of fire at the still-dazed Haku. Somehow the boy managed to erect a protective cocoon of ice around himself, neutralizing the assault.

Naruto debated for a second whether to press on the attack, but now that he thought about it for a bit, the thought of killing someone made Naruto feel a little uneasy. And besides, it looked like erecting that cocoon took pretty much everything out of Haku – he looked ready to drop any moment now.

He needed to get back to Sasuke and Sakura. He quickly sealed Naga back into the scroll and ran back towards the spot he left his teammates, the mist finally starting to thin-out.

Apparently Haku was indeed hurt pretty bad, because Naruto heard no sounds of pursuit behind him.

- break -

In the last few minutes, Sasuke realized he hated Naruto. He hated the fact that Naruto could detect enemies that he could not, and that their enemy considered the blonde a bigger threat than Sasuke. He hated how the blonde remained so easy-going and cheerful, despite his own personal tragedies. But most of all, he hated the fact that Naruto remade himself from a total failure to a credible competitor with Sasuke in just little over a year, as if mocking Sasuke for sinking so many hours each day into getting better and achieving so little in return.

Naruto was fighting a battle against an elite enemy, and would no doubt come out victorious. And Sasuke? Sasuke was having trouble dealing with these two pawns, fighting for his very life. It was true that in normal conditions he could have mopped up these two clowns without breaking a sweat, but the mist tipped the odds into their favor. Sasuke simply wasn't used to fighting in conditions of reduced visibility.

Relying on his trained responses, Sasuke ducked, letting the chain pass harmlessly over his head. He jumped back to avoid the kunai thrown at him and frantically tried to formulate a strategy in his head. If only he could pin down that damnable chain somehow…

His vision started blurring again, and he focused on banishing the groggy feeling. He really shouldn't have soaked that one hit, but it looked to him as if the claw will only inflict superficial damage… how was he supposed to know it was poisoned?

At least he managed to keep the two chain crazies away from those two dead-weights, Sakura and Tazuna. It soothed his ego that even though he was no doing so good he at least hadn't failed the mission yet.

He snorted angrily. Was he really going to wait for Naruto to save him? If he can't even handle these two, what will he do when…

'_Run away, little brother…'_

Things clicked inside Sasuke's mind. Of course! He flipped through a series of hand-seals and sheathed himself in a minor genjutsu, before crouching down. If he did everything right, his opponents should perceive him to be still standing, as long as he stays still.

The chain suddenly wrapped itself around the image of Sasuke that stood calmly and defiantly in the face of its demise. As the chain tried tearing it up and simply passed through it, Sasuke sprung up from his position and pinned the chain down to the ground with two kunai. Before the surprise might wear down, he flipped through another series of hand-seals and breathed a fireball on one end of the chain disappearing into the mist. A satisfying scream of agony told him he hit his target.

"One down," he spoke softly to himself.

It seems those silly little genjutsu his sensei was teaching him had some uses, after all. Still, if these two weren't such easily fooled idiots, this would never have worked. Certainly _he_ would never fall for such an obvious ploy.

"GOZU!" the other ninja screamed, before rushing madly at Sasuke.

Sasuke scoffed. To loose his composure so easily over a fallen comrade… truly, allies only made you weaker. Just like how Sasuke had grown too dependant on Naruto's detection abilities and was now paying the price. If only he could awaken his sharingan…

Sasuke lazily deflected the man's reckless strikes. Without his partner, the ninja was useless. His mind was clearly focused on wrapping the battle up as quickly as possible so he could check his partner. Sasuke flashed a kunai in front of him, slitting the man's throat. The ninja grasped at the wound, hacked a bit, and then collapsed on the ground.

Sasuke breathed hard. He was tired, both from the battle and the poison slowly spreading over his body. He stared at the body in front of him, motionless and bleeding on the grass, and thought about the scream of the other mist ninja as the fireball hit him.

He had just killed two people. That was supposed to be big deal, wasn't it? His first kill and all that. So why didn't he feel anything? Was it the fatigue and the adrenaline, or was he just a monster?

"I'm an avenger," he mumbled between breaths.

That's right. An avenger. Emotions like regret were just a burden to someone like him. There was only his task, his _ambition_ to kill his brother. These two were an obstacle on his quest, and it makes no sense to feel bad about their death. And he didn't. He didn't!

Sasuke sank to his knees, struggling to remain awake. He was tired. So tired.

Suddenly he realized that the mist is clearing. Was it over? Did Kakashi beat this 'Zabuza' guy?

No. Kakashi was trapped in a sphere of water.

Well crap. Kakashi was the last person that Sasuke expected to be a problem. After everything Naruto said about Kakashi, Sasuke was expecting something more impressive. Was this Zabuza guy really so great, or was Kakashi's reputation simply overblown?

"Game's over, brats," said Zabuza. "Hand over… wait a minute, what are you doing here brat? Where is Haku? Don't tell me you…"

Sasuke looked over to the side, only to see Naruto – a little banged up, but otherwise alright. Actually, he looked better than Sasuke himself did. Sasuke chuckled mirthlessly. He was getting complacent. Next time, he'll be ready – Naruto won't make a fool out of him again.

"Stupid dope…" Sasuke croaked softly, aware that the blonde couldn't possibly hear him. "I hope your medic-training taught you how to handle poisons…"

Naruto threw a kunai at Zabuza. A silly little kunai, as if something like that would mean anything to someone of Zabuza's threat-level, and sure enough Zabuza casually used his giant sword as a shield.

And then the kunai exploded. The sword was big enough to absorb the brunt of the blast, but the force of the explosion threw Zabuza back.

Though Zabuza was still very much alive, and now very much angry in addition, Sasuke knew that the explosion achieved its purpose. Zabuza's presence no longer maintaining it, the water prison trapping Kakashi collapsed.

An ice mirror materialized on the shore, and the same masked hunter-nin that separated Naruto from the team stepped through. Well, more like _stumbled_ through – the ninja was sporting a heavily bleeding wound on the chest that made Sasuke glad he only got mildly poisoned by comparison. She seemed to have dropped her mask somewhere along the way, probably so she could breath more easily.

"Zabuza… sama…" wheezed Haku, staggering towards the bandaged man. "I'm sorry… it's inexcusable but he… surprised me…"

"Brat…" growled Zabuza at Naruto, his eyes ablaze with fury, "I'm going to skin you alive!"

"I don't think so," said Kakashi angrily, water dripping off of him. "You're not going to pull that trick on me that way again."

"Zabuza-sama, we must…" began Haku, before running out of breath. Zabuza looked at Haku, looked at Kakashi, looked at Naruto, and then at Haku again. Finally, he seemed to have reached a decision.

"This isn't over," he said. "Far from over."

With those words, Zabuza rushed to Haku's side, picked her up and disappeared into the forest. Sasuke frowned. Why did Kakashi allow those two to escape like that? Wouldn't it be better to…

Kakashi stepped onto the shore and collapsed face-first on the ground.

"Shit!" yelled Naruto. "Kakashi-sensei!"

Sasuke exhaled heavily. He was so tired and the wound on his arm burned something fierce. Well, he supposed it only makes sense to follow sensei's example.

Closing his eyes, Sasuke collapsed on the ground as well.

- break -

"Shut up, Tazuna. Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

"Naruto-san, please…" tried Tazuna.

"Oh it's 'Naruto-san' now, is it? What happened to 'runt', huh?"

"Look, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry, okay? I didn't have the money for a B-rank mission and I was desperate. This bridge represents the hope of the entire island and I can't get it finished soon-"

"Whatever!" screamed Naruto. "You could have just said that to the Hokage and asked for a delayed payment. He'd go along with it! Do you realize in what position you've just put me? My Jounin-sensei and the only other effective teammate are both out of commission for at least _three days_! What do you think is going to happen if we're attacked right now?"

"Well…" began Tazuna.

"We'll all get massacred, that's what!" yelled Naruto. "You stupid, stupid _idiot_! What the hell am I supposed to do now? I'm a freaking rookie, fresh out of the village! My first mission was supposed to be a cake-walk, just something to give me a taste of things, not like this! What the hell am I supposed to do here!"

"**Slaughter everything,"** rumbled Kyuubi helpfully in the back of his head. **"Salt the ground afterwards."**

Naruto ignored it. Damn fox rarely had anything useful to say. Fortunately it rarely spoke to him at all.

"Naruto-san…" Naruto turned to Tazuna's daughter. Tsunami, if he remembers correctly. "I apologize for the troubles we've caused you. I know you're upset about your friends. If it means anything to you, I am eternally grateful to you for bringing my father back alive."

Naruto sighed. He was too emotional right now. Being angry at Tazuna won't accomplish anything now, and his daughter at least didn't do anything wrong.

"You're all going to die, you know?" a little boy said, before shutting up when a kunai impacted the wall right next to his face.

"Brat…" growled Naruto. "If you tell me that crap _one more time_, I'll fucking skin you alive, you hear me!"

"Naruto-san!" protested Tsunami, pushing her son behind her.

"I'm sorry Tsunami-san," said Naruto. "I'm just under a lot of stress right now. Can you tell me where Sakura is?"

"Upstairs, with your friends," answered Tsunami.

Of course. God forbid she actually makes herself useful for a change and helps him deal with the situation. No, she'll rather sit beside Sasuke and stare at his unconscious body as if that is going to anything to make the Uchiha wake up sooner.

"Yeah. Thanks. Listen Tazuna, you'll have to stay here for the next couple of days."

"What!" protested Tazuna. "But I have a bridge to build!"

"When Kakashi wakes up," said Naruto before turning and walking off towards the stairs. "No discussion."

As long as Tazuna stays close to Sasuke and Kakashi, Sakura can guard everyone, leaving Naruto free to roam around the island to gather information of the situation they had found themselves in. He didn't feel confident without knowing more about enemy's distribution of forces and how many ninja he has on his disposal.

As soon as he came into the room Sakura was immediately upon him, demanding that he check up on Sasuke. He did check him out, both him and Kakashi. He did a pretty fine job or stabilizing them both in his opinion.

"They're fine," he said. "They'll be on their feet in about 3 days. Just care for them till then."

"Eh! But you're the medic-nin!"

"I'm going to scout around for a bit."

"No! I don't think you should-"

"I'm doing it anyway. When Kakashi wakes up he can punish me if he thinks I was out of line. I can't relax until I know what we're dealing with here. Since this is something I can do and you can't, you care for Sasuke and Kakashi and guard Tazuna's household. Place some traps around the parameter, that's at least within your scope of ability."

Sakura flinched at his implication that she was generally useless, but Naruto wasn't inclined to care at this point.

"Besides," continued Naruto, "you wouldn't leave Sasuke's side until he's better one way or another."

He turned to leave.

"I really was completely useless in that fight, wasn't I?" Sakura asked quietly.

Naruto sighed. This whole situation had left him angry, and now he was lashing out at people. Never a good course of action. He turned around and motioned to Sakura to sit down, before proceeding to do so himself.

"Listen, don't beat yourself over it. You'd have to be absurdly powerful to have made a difference in that fight," said Naruto. "Everyone is alive so things aren't that bad. Now, I need to assess the situation to make sure Gato won't send anyone else to attack us while we're recovering, and you need to protect Sasuke and Kakashi while I'm gone. You're a very meticulous ninja and have a _lot_ more patience than me, so it falls to you to set up a defensive parameter around Tazuna's house. Okay?"

"Y-Yes," said Sakura, relaxing somewhat.

"Good," said Naruto, getting up. "I'll be back soon."

- break -

It took less than a day for Naruto to understand what compelled Tazuna to try to cheat a ninja village out of their money. Land of the Waves really was a crappy place, and Gato didn't even try to hide his involvement as the prime cause of island's misfortune. While Naruto still thought that there were better ways of handling the situation than lying to Konoha, he supposed a bridge-builder from a small island couldn't have known about them.

In any case, gathering information was tricky. Spies were everywhere, making people jumpy and paranoid. The local economy had essentially collapsed, with people demanding food and hard merchandise instead of money whenever Naruto tried bribing them for information. On top of that, Gato's thugs patrolled the streets, ostensibly as law enforcement but generally causing pain and disorder instead of warding against it. It took all of Naruto's self-control not to go on a killing spree when he witnessed their belligerence the second time in one day.

But as tempting as it was to bash some heads, Naruto knew it was a bad idea. That would cause a major commotion and no doubt attract Zabuza and any other ninja Gato had under his employ. He had to find out exactly what he's dealing with before he rushes in.

He doubted his information gathering could be kept secret for long, so he had be done by tonight – with so many spies walking around, by tomorrow morning the news would surely reach Gato one way or another – so he decided to be more bold. He found a group of thugs, dropped his transformation, and beat the crap out of them. Then he hid and observed them from shadows. Sure enough, they ran into one of the houses, probably one of the 'hidden' bases.

He walked up to the house, bashed the door in and knocked everyone inside unconscious with nerve strikes until he found a couple of thugs that looked moderately important. After tying them down, he woke up the important-looking ones so he could question them.

"W-What the hell do you…" began one of the thugs. "Who are you?"

"My identity is not important," said Naruto tapping on his hitai-ate. "Now let's get on to business. Tell me everything you know about Gato, the thugs under his payroll, ninja he's got, secret bases, everything."

The tied-up men leered at him.

"You think we'd tell you something like that?" asked the first thug again, scoffing.

Naruto took a paper tag out of his pocket and stuck it on the man's forehead.

"Yes, I do think that," Naruto said, flashing through hand seals. The man screamed as the tag glowed and then he suddenly became silent, his eyes unfocused. The rest of the thugs looked at the scene, silent and mortified.

"Tell me everything," said Naruto.

Compelled by the mind-control seal, the man told him everything.

- break -

"Well Naruto," said Kakashi, "I heard you've had a little adventure without us. Wouldn't it have been better if you, I don't know, waited for your sensei to wake up, hm?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto as if the blonde murdered his dog or something. Kakashi didn't have to wonder what was eating him – the fact that Naruto got out of the battle unscathed and then gathered information of Gato's forces all by himself while Sasuke got poisoned and spent three days bed-ridden was a heavy blow to his ego.

Sakura just seemed subdued, concerned about Sasuke's foul mood but unable to do anything about it.

"I apologize, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto. "I didn't intend to go that far, originally. I got carried away."

Kakashi sighed.

"Well, at least now we know Zabuza and Haku are the only ninja in Gato's employ. Assuming Naruto's information is correct and Haku won't be up for 3 more days, we should use this reprieve to get some exercise."

"What kind of exercise?" asked Sakura timidly.

"Intense kind," said Kakashi. "Tazuna can work in peace for now, but make no mistake – we'll have to fight those two once again before this mission is over. Now, Naruto said the other ninja, Haku, is a fast opponent – faster than Sasuke - that uses ice techniques…"

"Ice techniques?" asked Sakura. "That's wrong. I've never heard-"

"If he's faster than me," interjected Sasuke, anger in his voice, "how did Naruto defeat him?"

"I surprised him," said Naruto. "I have a few tricks in my sleeves."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "You mean you held back against me?"

"Not exactly. These tricks aren't something suitable for spars," said Naruto.

"Then let's fight now," hissed Sasuke. "You and me, right now, no holding back."

"No," said Kakashi quickly.

"Why?" Sasuke asked angrily.

"Because you still haven't completely recovered and you aren't in sound emotional state. Calm down."

Sasuke snorted and folded his arms over his chest.

Kakashi sighed. "Anyway, the first thing I want to teach you is water-walking…"

"No!" exploded Sasuke. "Screw water-walking! Stupid little tricks, that's all you've ever taught us! Camping, tree climbing, ninja etiquette, perception training, water walking… none of that is going to make me stronger! It's been months and I still haven't even activated my sharingan! You're just wasting my time!"

"Sasuke-" began Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei," interjected Naruto, "I think I can help Sasuke activate his precious sharingan."

Everyone looked at Naruto direction.

"How?" asked Sasuke angrily, still huffing from his outburst.

"Well… you said you wanted to fight, didn't you? A _real_ fight."

"Naruto…" said Kakashi.

"One day, Kakashi-sensei…" said Naruto. "Give me one day. If I can't do it till tomorrow, I won't insist on it any longer."

Sasuke glared at the blonde grimly, clenching and unclenching his fists. Kakashi sighed.

"One day. Just one day."

"One day is all I need," said Naruto quietly.

- break -

An explosion erupted from his left and Sasuke stumbled and fell. He rolled to his right, barely avoiding the hail of kunai. The cuts he received earlier pulsed painfully, reminding him of why he can't afford to be hit by Naruto's kunai, not even a little bit – each one was poisoned. He ground his teeth in anger. Curse all poison-users to hell! He dodged quickly, evading two successive explosions that shook the place he was standing on just a few seconds ago.

When he sought to fight Naruto all out, he didn't expect this sort of thing. Naruto refused to face him head on, opting to hit and run, wearing him down with explosive notes and poisoned weapons, both of which he seemed to have in inexhaustible quantities. And he never, ever gave Sasuke a reprieve to catch his breath and gather his thoughts – the blonde kept him under constant pressure. Chasing after Naruto was dangerous since he seemed able to set up traps behind him in seconds, and had by now turned the surrounding forest into a giant death-trap.

Sasuke was tired, in pain, and his ego was screaming in anguish – he was going to be defeated without having landed a single strike on Naruto. And then Naruto landed on the ground some distance away from Sasuke.

Sasuke smiled.

In fact he even cackled softly under his breath. Perfect! After all this time of trying to catch the blonde the idiot just came to him instead. Even tired and poisoned, he was still better than this dunce in direct combat.

Naruto made a seal for the clone and Sasuke frowned. Naruto's clone jutsu was too versatile to be taken lightly.

"Clone superimposition," announced Naruto.

Nothing happened.

And then Naruto charged at Sasuke, only instead of a single Naruto, five sprung from the place Naruto was standing on. They weaved right through one another like incorporeal wraiths, merging and splitting randomly, confusing Sasuke's eyes and making it impossible to respond properly. When one of the fused Narutos attacked their limbs split in multiple instances, and if Sasuke chose the wrong one he merely dispelled the clone while the real limb landed a hit on him. Naruto would periodically repeat the technique, which seemed effortless to him, making it impossible for Sasuke to simply dispel the clones.

Sasuke ground his teeth in anger, desperately trying to find a way to distinguish the real Naruto from the clones. There has to be a pattern! There has to be! But there was too many of them and their splitting impossible to predict.

And then Naruto and the clones suddenly jumped back and fused into one.

"Sasuke…" Naruto began. "For a rookie of the year, you really suck at this. Is taijutsu the only thing you can do?"

Sasuke flipped through the seals and breathed a fireball at Naruto in rage, only for Naruto to throw a kunai at the incoming ball of fire. Before Sasuke could understand what the blonde was planning to do, the fire suddenly swirled around the kunai and disappeared. He narrowly dodged the incoming piece of metal, which embedded into the tree beside him. Sasuke stared dumbfounded at the strange characters that covered the surface of the kunai, their glow steadily fading from view.

"What the hell?" he blurted out.

"They're my absorbing kunai," said Naruto. "Isn't sealing just awesome?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth, banishing his confusion and shifting into his taijutsu stance.

"No matter what tricks you pull out, you will still fail," said Sasuke. "We both know you are no match for me, either in taijutsu or ninjutsu."

Naruto chuckled. Sasuke's determination faltered a little – this wasn't the reaction he was trying to evoke.

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke…" said Naruto, wearing a confident smile that made Sasuke's blood freeze in his veins. "Do you really think I intend to do this fight on your terms? I called this fight because I'm thoroughly sick of your attitude and intend to do something about it. Tell me Sasuke… do you think anyone would really miss you if you failed to come back after this?"

"W-What…?" said Sasuke, before Naruto's killing intent hit him like a tidal wave.

Drawing a kunai, Naruto charged at Sasuke with an utterly crazed expression that chilled Sasuke to the bone. He's not going to- he couldn't possibly mean to-

Naruto plunged the kunai at Sasuke, and his hand split into 6. And Sasuke knew he was going to die. The blonde really was trying to kill him. The chances that he would choose the right arm were miniscule, and even if he succeeds Naruto would just try again and again, until Sasuke was no more.

But he couldn't die now! Not yet, before he even had a chance to face his brother again! He can't! He won't!

Time slowed down and the world became clearer and sharper. Sasuke found himself staring at the kunai in front of his face, stopped by his own hand holding Naruto's wrist. Clones became obvious as such, and their strange movements somehow easier to understand.

Gazing into his reflection in the blade, Sasuke could see two red eyes staring back at him.

His attacker grinned brightly at his, bloodlust suddenly gone.

"Congratulations, Sasuke. Told ya' I could awaken your sharingan."

Sasuke suddenly saw red.

"Dope…" Sasuke hissed. "I'm going to _KILL YOU_!"

"You have to catch me first!" said Naruto, effortlessly breaking contact and disappearing into the trees. Furious, Sasuke followed after him.

- break -

"What do you mean 'no'!" roared Gato.

"It's not my problem," said Zabuza gruffly.

"But these ninja are destroying my operations!" screeched Gato. "They already killed most of my men and destroyed all the safe-houses. What am I paying you for if not to prevent exactly these kind of things!"

"You're paying us to kill the bridge-builder," said Zabuza crankily. "It's not my problem if a few thugs get killed by a couple of passing missing-nins. If you want me to care, you'll have to pay me extra."

Gato looked ready to explode. "Why you greedy-"

Zabuza laughed throatily. "Someone like you calling me greedy? Get a grip. You said yourself that everything carries a price. Now if you'll excuse me-"

"20 thousand ryo," said Gato.

"Please. 45 thousand or I refuse to even talk about it."

"30 thousand."

"_50_ thousand, and half of the money upfront. Don't test my patience Gato."

Gato growled. "Fine. But there better not be any repeats of things like today."

"Don't worry," said Zabuza. "There won't be. Once bought, I stay bought."

"Good," said Gato. "Now about these ninja… this morning two men dressed in black cloaks with red clouds walked into this land and began-"

The door exploded, sending splinters everywhere. Gato screamed and dropped to the ground, while Zabuza merely unsheathed his sword in a practiced movement and shielded his face with it. Two men in black cloaks stepped into view.

"Hey, Kakuzu," said the one with a giant three-blade scythe on his back. Zabuza wondered how good he is with that thing – it's been a while since he fought with a true weapon-user. "Is this the man we're looking for?"

He was pointing at Gato, who immediately paled and crawled behind Zabuza for protection.

"Yes," the covered one said.

"So, these were the missing-nin you were talking about?" said Zabuza to Gato trembling behind him, who nodded vigorously.

"Zabuza-sama!" shouted Haku, barging into the room from the other side. "What's happening! I heard-"

Zabuza frowned. Haku's chest was still covered in bandages, as he still needed a day or so of rest, but here he is, disobeying Zabuza's orders to check up on his master. As if Zabuza needs his worry. He's not the one who ended up bedridden after all.

In these past few days Zabuza became aware just how attached he is to the kid. You don't know what you have until you're about to lose it, they say, and Zabuza discovered that he'd really not have Haku die on him. Was he really getting so soft?

"Hey Kakuzu, who are these two?" the scythe-wielder asked. "We can kill them, right?"

"Yes," said Kakuzu. "The one with the mask over his face is Zabuza of the bloody mist. He has quite the large bounty on his head. I was going to claim his bounty one of these days anyway."

"I wouldn't be so confident about that," said Zabuza gruffly, placing his sword over his shoulder. "But since I was just hired to take you out, I guess this just makes things easier for me – I kill a couple of bounty-hunters after me and get paid for it to boot."

Haku appeared by his side and Zabuza couldn't help but grin – these two were going down before and now, with Haku by his side, they had no chance at all.

This was going to be a piece of cake.

- break -

"So that's how Naruto succeeded," said Kakashi. "And you say all it took was convincing you that he was really out to kill you? Really, I should have thought of that myself."

Sasuke glared at Kakashi, who was chuckling softly at his own attempts at humor. The really infuriating thing was that Sasuke never managed to catch the blonde after activating the sharingan, and ended up simply collapsing from exhaustion and spending the next day bedridden from poisoning.

"Where is that dope, anyway?" asked Sasuke.

"At the bridge, with Sakura," said Kakashi. "They already mastered water walking yesterday so I made them guard Tazuna while he works on the bridge. They did it in under an hour too, you know."

Sasuke frowned. It has been three hours and he couldn't keep at the surface for even a moment. He was really sick of being the person with the worst chakra control in the team. Unfortunately his sharingan couldn't help him in learning this, as water-walking involved no hand seals. Seal-less techniques were a matter of chakra control, and thus had to be learned the hard way. Hell, he couldn't even copy Naruto's techniques because they all had the same hand seals as academy ones and the extra effects were pure chakra control.

The gushing descriptions of sharingan's powers in his family scrolls didn't mention this deficiency.

"He could have killed me," said Sasuke.

"Eh, I'm sure he knew what he was doing," said Kakashi. "He would have stopped if-"

"That's not what I mean," said Sasuke. "He has no combat techniques and he's no match for me at taijutsu, but he could have killed me there if he wanted to. He could have killed me without me ever laying a finger on him."

"Well," said Kakashi carefully. "Maybe now you'll pay attention to all those 'useless' things I'm trying to teach you that have no apparent combat application. Direct combat is not all there is to being a ninja, and Naruto is not the only ninja that prefers indirect methods of dealing with opponents. Your fight with those mist ninja should have clued you in to that fact."

Sasuke remained silent. There may very well be some truth in that, but…

"Kakashi-sensei!" shouted Sakura, bursting into the scene. "You have to come quick! Naruto is being attacked!"


	9. Greed

Kakuzu waited, carefully studying Zabuza and the effeminate boy that came to his aid. Truthfully, Zabuza didn't worry him much – the man's abilities were well-known and were unlikely to have changed – it was Zabuza's partner that worried him. The boy was an unknown, and his movements pointed to years of experience in the thick of battle. As much as could be expected of someone traveling with the Demon of the Mist, really.

Zabuza charged, but, curiously, not at Kakuzu and Hidan. Instead he bashed his sword into the nearby wall. For one short moment Kakuzu was confused at the meaning of the action, but then water began gushing out of the destroyed section of the wall, and Kakuzu mentally sighed. He was hoping to keep these two away from water sources, but it seemed he forgot all about the simple plumbing. A plan already formed in his mind, Kakuzu remained rooted to the spot, his expression as emotionless as ever, even as Hidan's face served as a testament to his partner's surprise.

Not that it took a lot to surprise Hidan, of course.

Before even the dust coming from the destroyed section settled down, the gushing water turned to thick mist that suffused the room, lowering visibility down to nothing. But though this would likely be the end of most ninja, Kakuzu simply wasn't going to fall to a trick like this. Visibility really wasn't much of an issue. Almost instinctively he created a water clone and left it in his place before jumping up and silently sticking onto the ceiling. He was just in time, as the clone was almost instantly decapitated where he left him.

That's when Hidan finally caught up with what was happening and, as was his usual reaction when he couldn't see anything, started screaming and spinning his damn scythe around like a headless maniac. The sad thing was, that stupid reaction was surprisingly effective… though only because Hidan only needed to nick a person slightly to seal their fate.

Drawing upon his elemental hearts, Kakuzu did a two part technique, creating a miniature cyclone beneath him with wind manipulation, in order to gather the mist to a tight spot, and using water manipulation to condense the mist back into liquid form.

If he hadn't been more careful he would have never noticed when someone hijacked his technique and perverted it against him. As it was, he jumped away just in time to avoid the icy spike that shot out of the condensing mist and pierced the ceiling at the spot he was recently standing on.

Through the thinned-out mist, Kakuzu spotted the boy that was attacking him on the other side of the room, in the process of finishing his next technique. Kakuzu put his hands together, hardening his skin, just as the icy construction that tried to impale him explosively shattered into thousands of needles that peppered the room. Zabuza used his giant sword and clever positioning to get out of the blast unscathed, the ice user made a shield out of ice to protect himself, and the needles bounced off harmlessly upon hitting Kakuzu's skin. Hidan… took the assault head on, screaming as the needles of ice turned him into a human pincushion.

It was a lot creepier when one realized he was screaming in pleasure.

Kakuzu debated the merits of launching a counter-attack on the kid, but decided against it. He was honestly curious about the boy: was he of _that _bloodline? That would be rather valuable. Every village, except perhaps Mist, would pay a fortune for the boy. Especially if Kakuzu could capture him alive. He had to be sure though – not every ice technique required a bloodline user. He supposed he'd just have to stay on defensive and see if the kid would use one of his bloodline's signature techniques when he grew frustrated.

Behind him, Zabuza decided to take advantage of Hidan's apparent incapacitation from the needles to impale him. Hidan simply soaked the blow, using the closeness to bite Zabuza's arm. Shocked that Hidan wasn't dead yet and wary of tricks, Zabuza jumped back trying to understand what was happening. Even as Zabuza circled him in confusion, Hidan used the blood seeping from the gaping stomach wound Zabuza inflicted upon him to draw a circle beneath his feet.

So much for Zabuza. The only question now was how long was Hidan going to toy with him before he finished him off.

A dome of mirrors materialized around him, and Kakuzu resisted the urge to smile. It seemed his momentary shift of attention was too good of an opportunity for the kid to pass up… and he really was a survivor of the Mist's bloodline hunts. Kakuzu remained motionless, even as the boy's image multiplied across every mirror of the dome. Time to get this show on the road.

"It seems you _are_ worth something, kid," Kakuzu said emotionlessly. "It's been a while since I fought one of your ilk. I should have known there was no way Mist managed to exterminate all of you."

The boy's image shifted uneasily, apparently not expecting that kind of reaction. He was probably used to his opponents being completely stupefied by his technique. "No one has ever escaped from this technique alive," the boy said softly, needles suddenly appearing in his hands.

Kakuzu snorted lightly. How low the mighty have fallen. The boy's ancestors were some of the more terrifying opponents Kakuzu had the opportunity to fight. Compared to them, this kid was a joke. Still, his bloodline was a valuable commodity, and Kakuzu intended to collect every ryo the boy was worth.

Really, this trip just keep getting better and better. All he really wanted was to collect the dozens of bounties placed on Gato's head, and maybe raid the mogul's money stash if feasible. Now he had the opportunity to collect Zabuza's bounty too, and get his hands on one of the last specimens of a powerful bloodline limit. Jackpot.

The boy attacked. A wave of needles sped at Kakuzu from all directions, aimed to kill. Kakuzu didn't even try to dodge. He discreetly flashed through hand-seals and his skin hardened again. The needles impacted Kakuzu and promptly bounced off, as if they hit a slab of rock instead of exposed flesh.

Most people would be somewhat discouraged at this. After all, Kakuzu had withstood the boy's needle barrage twice already with almost no effort. But the kid didn't seem deterred – he continued peppering Kakuzu with needles, apparently having deduced (correctly) that as long as he's maintaining this particular technique, he can neither move nor perform other techniques. If Kakuzu was a normal ninja, the boy would be correct in assuming that all he had to do was press the attack until Kakuzu ran out of chakra to maintain the technique. But Kakuzu wasn't a normal ninja. Wordlessly, Kakuzu willed his lightning heart to extrude from his body.

Normally, Kakuzu had a brief moment of surprise to exploit whenever he brought his hearts into the fray. The blank white masks and writhing black threads tended to make people pause, even if for just a moment. But the moment his heart shot forth from his back, some kind of recognition seemed to fly over Haku's face, as if he had faced something similar before. A nova of electricity pulsed around Kakuzu, enveloping the dome, but Haku was no longer inside. Calmly and purposely, Kakuzu walked away from his spot to go after the boy while the dome of ice, no longer maintained, collapsed around him.

Damn. So close.

Things would be so much easier if he just needed to kill the kid by any means necessary, but if he was going to get any profit out of the boy he needed his body relatively intact… and he'd really like to have him alive if possible. So fire and wind were out. He needed the earth heart for his own protection. Using the water heart would be just make battlefield conditions more favorable to the boy because of the powers granted by his bloodline. So he was left with lightning. Should be enough, though.

A maniacal laugh reached his ears. It seemed Hidan was ready to finish things on his side. Now if he could just-

"Zabuza-sama!"

Kakuzu fired a burst of lightning at Haku, but it was too late – the boy walked into an ice mirror and disappeared, no doubt rushing to his master's side. Kakuzu hissed softly in annoyance, idly thinking if it wouldn't be easier to simply use his wind heart to cut the kid into pieces and then auction off the chunks. He turned and, sure enough, the boy was butting into the fight between Hidan and Zabuza.

"Hey!" Hidan's voice rang. "What the hell do you- Oof!"

Before Kakuzu could figure out a non-destructive way to disable the boy, the kid snatched Hidan's scythe and used the fact that it was connected to him with a chain to drag Hidan away from his circle, neutralizing the moron's technique, while at the same time performing a one-handed technique to create a wall of ice between them and Kakuzu.

Severely annoyed, Kakuzu extruded his wind heart and sliced the wall of ice to pieces, but it was too late. When he got through, Zabuza and the kid were gone. Hidan was yelling curses at him, half buried in the chunks of the wall, saying he should warn him when he did things like that.

"Hidan…" Kakuzu growled. "Tell me you didn't let them get away?"

"The fuck you're on, stitch-face!? I would have got him if you didn't bury me in this shit and fucked everything up! What the hell did you-"

Kakuzu snatched the spike out of Hidan's hand and impaled him through his left eye before walking away in search for Gato.

"What the fuck was that for!? Kakuzu you-"

He fell silent when Kakuzu casually electrocuted him with his lightning heart. Immortal or not, it would take him a while before his nerves unscramble enough to enable speech.

Fortunately, his stupid partner wasn't _entirely_ useless, and Kakuzu found Gato soon enough, shaking and whimpering, his hands nailed to the wall so he can't get away. Knowing Hidan's personality, he was lucky Hidan didn't just kill the man – he still wanted to get Gato's bank account numbers and stashes of valuables. The man looked like someone who would give everything away just to be left alive. Not that Kakuzu had any intention of sparing him, but whatever.

Come to think of it, this probably wasn't much of a setback – those two aren't going to disappear anywhere. Both Zabuza and the boy were injured and exhausted, and had no support from anyone. Let them have their brief reprieve. As soon as he was finished with Gato, he would take care of the loose ends – the mission comes first, after all.

If he was in a good mood, he might even take Hidan with him.

* * *

The day began well in Naruto's opinion. He woke up early and had a breakfast with everyone except Sasuke and Inari. Sasuke was still sleeping off the effects of poison Naruto used on him, and Tsunami was still leery about letting her son near Naruto ever since their last confrontation. Despite that minor source of tension, Naruto felt that Tsunami and Tazuna had warmed up to him by now, as evidenced by their decision to have a casual chat with him during breakfast. After breakfast, Kakashi led them to his 'hand-picked training spot', as he called it, where he taught them water-walking. It was a breeze really, for both him and Sakura. Kakashi had tried spicing it up by throwing rocks into the water to disturb the surface, but their control was too good for that to work.

Finally, after several attempts of making them fall in, Kakashi gave up and simply told them to spar on the surface of the water. Despite Naruto's skepticism, Sakura was surprisingly good – she lasted a great deal longer than he would have guessed before she ran out of chakra reserves, and she took the spar more seriously than ever before.

After a while Kakashi simply sent them to guard Tazuna at the bridge, saying he was going to wake up Sasuke and work on him for a while. For once Naruto wasn't pissed that the Uchiha was getting one-on-one training – he blew off a lot of steam when he, er, awakened Sasuke's sharingan. Sasuke can get all the private lessons he wants for now.

While they were on their way to the bridge Naruto couldn't resist asking Sakura about her sudden increase in chakra reserves. He was quite surprised when it turned out that she was building up her reserves by running up and down trees while he was away gathering information on Gato's retinue. That was an exercise Kakashi had given to Sakura back when they first learned tree-walking, but Naruto knew for a fact she didn't bother with it until now. Naruto was pleased – Sakura beginning to train could only be a good thing for him. Maybe now their spars will be something other than a waste of time.

So anyway, the day began well and continued getting better as time passed. The sky was clear blue, temperature just right, a light breeze blowing… what more could one wish? It was merely a calm before the storm hit, as it turned out.

At first, the bridge duty was quite mundane – the workers were completing the bridge at a fast pace, milling around the construction site like ants, while Naruto and Sakura watched over them in case Gato sent someone to assault the construction site against every indication to the contrary. Naruto had spend about quarter of his chakra reserves to scatter detection seals in various spots, and was reasonably confident they would not be caught off-guard, so he was relaxed, chatting with the pair of workers that were taking a break at the moment.

"Anyway," said Naruto, talking to one of the workers, "here I am, minding my own business, putting slugs in Iruka's drawers, when this guy comes up to me and says-"

A twinge of pain on his palm jolted Naruto to full alert – one of his detection seals had detected a massive source of chakra coming. He jumped on his feet, alerting Sakura and the workers that something was wrong. Sakura took a fighting stance beside him, glancing in his direction in a silent plea for an explanation, while the workers retreated in the back to observe from a safe distance. Naruto just tapped on his palm in response to Sakura's questioning gaze, and she nodded, evidently understanding.

He huffed. Fighting on the bridge was about the worst choice of battlefield for him – he could not use explosive notes or he might bring down the whole bridge down, and his maneuvering tactics were not very effective on featureless concrete. Not to mention that the enemy might purposely chose to target the workers to divert his attention.

"Come on," said Naruto to Sakura, motioning in the direction of the disturbance. "We'll confront the enemy in the foliage."

"Kakashi said we should never separate from Tazuna!" she protested.

"I know, but we'll be at a disadvantage if we fight on the bridge. I take responsibility for any consequences."

Sakura frowned, clearly unhappy, but followed anyway. Naruto focused on his senses. Strange… the enemy was pretty loud for a ninja. They seemed to be running through the forest in a panicked run, as if fleeing something.

He gave a quick gesture to Sakura to halt and launched a kunai at the spot their enemy was about to occupy, but it was immediately deflected.

The enemy consisted of Zabuza and that Haku person that he wounded in their previous fight. Although for the life of his he couldn't understand why these two chose to launch an attack now – they clearly weren't in any shape to be fighting. They looked like shit, to be frank – Haku's ragged breathing clearly told Naruto that he still wasn't fully healed from the wound Naruto inflicted from him, and Zabuza was bleeding from his flank and using Haku as support to remain moving. What game were these two playing?

Well, whatever. Naruto reached into his weapon's pouch.

"Wait!" yelled Haku, thrusting his hand in front of him to show he wasn't armed. "We didn't come here to fight! We… we seek sanctuary! That's right, sanctuary!"

"Huh?" asked Naruto incredulously. Even Zabuza seemed to look baffled, looking at Haku with a curious expression, as if asking his partner in crime 'what the hell are you talking about'.

"We're being attacked," said Haku as Zabuza did his best to stand on his own power and failing. "Even now our assailants are in pursuit. We… that is, if you can protect us-"

"Brat," said Zabuza with obvious effort, cutting Haku off. "Where is Kakashi? You and the girl can't handle these two."

"That's none of your business," said Naruto coolly. "Now tell me what's this about or I'll assume it's a trick and initiate combat."

Zabuza hissed in frustration, clearly annoyed but unable to do anything.

"There are two men in black cloaks after us," said Haku. "They're bounty hunters after Zabuza's head. If your sensei protects us, we are willing to provide information in exchange. Information that Konoha will find very valuable."

"Black cloaks?" asked Naruto with rising dread. He hoped he was wrong. "With red clouds?"

Haku and Zabuza stared at Naruto incredulously.

"Yeah," rasped Zabuza. "You know them?"

Naruto swallowed. He knew something like this would happen, just _knew_. The infamous Akatsuki, Sasori's former employers and seekers of the jinchuuriki – the organization that Sasori has warned him about plenty of times, in a tone that spoke clearly about the threat they pose to their targets.

'_If they catch you, they will __extract the Kyuubi, killing you in the process.'_

According to Sasori, they wouldn't move to capture jinchuuriki for a few more years, and yet… they were here. Here, in this irrelevant land, precisely at the moment that he and his team are outside of the village for the very first time. It couldn't be a coincidence, therefore it wasn't.

Akatsuki had come for him.

"Sakura," said Naruto. "Go tell Kakashi that I'm being attacked by two S-ranked missing-nin and that he should come as soon as possible."

"But-" Sakura protested.

"GO!!" Naruto shouted, his eyes flashing red. Sakura looked mortified for a second before turning around and running off in Kakashi's direction. Naruto turned towards Zabuza and Haku and walked off towards them.

"Brat," began Zabuza, "what do you think-"

"Shut up and lie down," said Naruto crankily. "If I'm going to get out of this alive I'll need all the help I can get and you two cannot fight in that condition."

"You mean-" began Haku.

"I'm a medic-nin," said Naruto. "I'll get to you soon enough. While I'm working on Zabuza, you can tell me about those two."

"I thought you knew them," said Zabuza as Naruto's placed his glowing hand over the wound on his flank.

"I know what they represent," said Naruto. "They're not the only ones of their kind."

"It's strange," said Haku. "One uses some kind of autonomous contraption that can do lightning techniques. It remind me of that thing you used against me when we fought. The other…"

"Talentless hack," spat Zabuza. "He throws that scythe around aimlessly. No skill at all. If I knew about that trick of his..."

"Don't ever let him draw blood," said Haku. "He uses opponent's blood to form some kind of link between himself and his target. When he hurts himself, the target is hurt in the same way. He seems to be immune to physical damage."

Naruto's face twisted in a sour expression. He was pretty sure now which two Akatsuki members he was going to face. There was no way he could win this one, even with the help of these two (especially since he had no intention of healing them completely – if they turn on him later he wanted to have an ace up his sleeve; a bit of pressure applied to the right spot and these 'healed' wounds would burst at the seams), but maybe he could hold them back till Kakashi arrived.

"As far as I could discern, the link is dependant on a circle he draws on the ground beneath him…" continued Haku, but Naruto was only absent-mindedly listening to his analysis. He already had a lot more accurate information on Hidan from Sasori. It was rather impressive, however, how much Haku uncovered from that one brief moment of combat.

"He's mine," growled Zabuza. "He won't catch me like that again. I'll cut off his limbs and chuck his body into the sea. Then he can brag about his immortality to the fishes and crabs."

"There," said Naruto. "How much time do we got?"

"They'll probably be here soon enough," said Haku. "As soon as they finish their business with Gato."

"Gato, huh?" began Naruto. "While we're on this particular subject…"

"Gato is as good as dead," said Zabuza, as if reading his mind. "The mission to kill the bridge-builder is canceled due to inability to collect payment."

"Oh good," said Naruto. "Now let's see how long we can last against those two…"

* * *

"Kakuzu, you asshole! Slow down a little!"

Kakuzu resisted the urge to attack Hidan. He really should get his temper under control. After all, if it weren't for his tendency to flip out and kill his partners, he wouldn't be saddled with this moron in the first place. He kept his speed high enough to keep Hidan trailing some distance away to communicate his displeasure at his partner's earlier slip-up, but refrained from loosing him completely. He had learned from experience that leaving Hidan unattended during missions created more troubles than it was worth.

His quarry was waiting for them – as soon as Kakuzu entered the denser part of the vegetation, a wooden log swung towards him. Kakuzu gave the incoming piece of wood a casual glance before dozens of black threads erupted from his body, tearing it to shreds.

It was a good thing he hardened his skin just in case, because the pieces exploded without warning immediately afterwards.

Thrown back somewhat and his cloak ruined, but otherwise unharmed, Kakuzu immediately extruded his wind heart and started firing wildly, cutting down the vegetation with ease. He wasn't in the mood for hide and seek. Sure enough, when the dust settled, his two opponents were standing among the rubble… only they weren't who he thought they were.

The hyoton user was there, true, but the other one was another boy, not Zabuza. A boy with a Konoha hitai-ate, even. Kakuzu looked around and noticed that Hidan was nowhere to be seen. He sighed – he didn't need to be told to know what had happened. Zabuza decided to separate them and pick them off one by one, and was right now trying to finish Hidan off first. He looked at the two boys in front of him, who didn't even try to take advantage of his seeming absent-mindedness. They were hoping to buy some time, he realized.

Zabuza thought these two could hold him off? That… that kind of pissed him off, actually.

Kakuzu immediately extruded his fire and lightning hearts, using the lightning heart to try and incapacitate the hyoton user while fire and wind hearts combined their effort to incinerate the other ninja. Kakuzu didn't really know who the little Konoha ninja was supposed to be, but he figured he was just a tagalong of no consequence. A wave of blue fire sped off towards the blond who, amusingly, threw a kunai at it.

Kakuzu was a lot less amused when the kunai sucked a portion of the advancing fire-wall into itself and created a hole in it, allowing the blond to come out completely unscathed. Worse, before Kakuzu could respond to this, the kid summoned a veritable army of clones, easily 50 of them, and only half of them were his actual clones – the others were images of the hyoton user. They scattered around Kakuzu, darting around and occasionally merging with one another before splitting again.

How… annoying. He could pick out the real one from the clones usually, but this silly little spectacle actually hurt his eyes a bit and it wasn't something he wanted to bother with right now. He really wanted to get the hyoton user intact, but if this was the game they wanted to play, he'd go back to his earlier idea of harvesting the pieces.

Kakuzu's wind heart began firing again.

* * *

Naga coiled itself into a protective sphere around Naruto, shielding him from the massive electrical discharge one of Kakuzu's hearts launched in his direction. The stream of fire Naga spewed at the heart in retaliation was almost lazily intercepted by a jet of water from one of the other hearts.

The fight wasn't going well.

"Interesting," Kakuzu said. "I never knew Konoha had puppeteers in their employ."

Naruto didn't say anything. Nothing worked against this guy! His threads cut up anything that got too close him or his hearts, his skin was like solid rock, and his hearts were making it hard to gather one's thoughts and come up with a plan to tackle him effectively. The traps Naruto had set up in the forest were rendered defunct at the very start, when Kakuzu simply sliced up all the trees in the area. Naruto had tried confusing him with clones but he simply used area-wide techniques to disperse the doubles. His absorbing kunai were completely spent, and his explosive ones were simply neutralized by the hearts before getting close to the man, Kakuzu having wizened quickly about underestimating 'simple kunai' he was using.

Naruto glanced at Naga's severed tail that Kakuzu's threads sliced off when it got too close to one of the hearts. Considering the amount of integrity seals with which Naga's chassis was suffused, the fact that the treads sliced through it so easily was nothing short of amazing… in a bad way. If Naga succumbed to the threads so easily…

Damn, where was Kakashi already? Or Zabuza for that matter? The missing-nin had assured Naruto he'd deal with Hidan in a few minutes at most and help them fight Kakuzu, but he had been gone for awfully long time now.

He glanced at Haku, who was darting around, trying to bypass Kakuzu's hearts and approach the man somehow. Naruto didn't know why exactly – Haku's arsenal didn't seem to be any more impressive than Naruto's, at least when facing someone like Kakuzu. Getting close would just result in the ice kid getting chopped up in an eye-blink.

And then Kakuzu seemed to have had quite enough of their stalling, and fire and wind hearts rushed towards Naruto, preparing for that damnable combined attack of theirs. Apparently the fact that Naruto used Naga for protection told Kakuzu he was out of his absorbing kunai and was now finally open to this particular method attack. The hearts belched a wall of blue flame towards him.

Naga wouldn't serve as a shield against _that_. It was resistant to physical attacks, which is what earth and water techniques really amounted to, and, as a piece of wood, it wasn't conductive to electricity. But it _could_ be burned down. And while Naruto could dodge this attack, he couldn't do it with Naga in tow. But if he left Naga to be destroyed he'd be picked off by Kakuzu in his next attack! He wasn't as fast as Haku and Naga was the only reason he was able to last this long.

Naruto grinned. Almost cackled, really. Kakuzu had painted him into a corner, a total check-mate if you will. It was time to try completely crazy ideas.

He left Naga and dodged the blast, performing the 'clone - superimposition variant' before he even finished rolling along the ground. He didn't need to look to know there was nothing but ashes left of his beloved puppet that he had worked on for so long. He rushed the fire mask and the threads attached to it lashed out at Naruto, only to be confused by the superimposed images of his clones. Closing in, Naruto slapped the puppet-destroying tag on the gleaming white surface of the mask and pumped as much chakra as he could.

For a moment he thought his effort was for naught, but then the threads fell apart and the mask collapsed on the ground inert.

Naruto started laughing, even as Kakuzu and his hearts stopped in their tracks at this sudden turn of events.

"I knew it! It _was_ a puppet," said Naruto with a laugh, before mumbling the next part quietly to himself. "Thank Kami."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed in rage at the loss of one of his hearts. Suddenly the water, lightning, and wind hearts fired a synchronized attack – the water heart fired a spray of water in the air, the lightning heart electrified it, and the wind heart blew it in Naruto's direction with massive speed. Naruto couldn't even react as the cloud of electrified mist hit him, his muscles suddenly going rigid. His nerve endings scrambled, he fell to the ground like a lifeless doll.

Though he could not move, he could clearly see from his spot on the ground that Kakuzu wasted no time in finishing him off. The lightning heart was clearly about to fry him to death. It would take some time before he could move normally, so he was pretty much done for.

Oh well… at least he managed to take out one of that bastard's hearts before he went down. That had to be worth something, right?

But instead of dying, his world blurred for a moment and he found himself on a tree branch, held by unknown hands. His vision was a bit hazy, and his passage of time uncertain, but it seemed to him that everything was quiet for considerable amount of time.

Finally, after a while, he realized his unknown savior was Kakashi. Huh.

"Yo," Kakashi said with a cheerful smile.

Naruto didn't respond. Couldn't actually – while he could finally feel his limbs again, he didn't have anywhere near the fine control to speak yet.

"Kakashi of the sharingan," said Kakuzu. "This day just keeps getting better and better. In one day I get Gato, Momochi Zabuza, a hyoton user, and Hatake Kakashi. All that money will put me months ahead of schedule."

"You know…" said Kakashi. "Most people would be a _little_ concerned about their survival when surrounded by so much enemies instead of thinking about money."

Kakuzu outstretched his hand to his left, casually catching Zabuza's blade with his hand. Zabuza jumped back, using his sword to repel the threads trying to cut him up. Haku reappeared beside him, ready to defend his master. Naruto would have snorted if he could. _Now_ he shows up?

"What happened to Hidan?" asked Kakuzu.

"He kept getting up so I cut him up into little pieces and scattered them as far as I could manage," said Zabuza.

Kakuzu sighed. "Fine. I'll sew him up later when I deal with you."

"Oh yeah?" asked Kakashi on the branch.

The ground beneath Kakuzu exploded and another Kakashi emerged, his hand glowing with dancing arcs of electricity that chirped like a flock of birds. Without hesitation Kakashi plunged his lightning-sheathed hand right through Kakuzu's chest.

"That technique you used to shrug off Zabuza's attack is an earth technique," said Kakashi, staring into surprised eyes of Kakuzu. "It cannot stop chidori."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed and now it was Kakashi's turn to be surprised as hundreds of black threads shot out from Kakuzu's body and tore Kakashi to pieces…

…except that Kakashi simply dissolved into smoke.

"Shadow clone…" said Kakuzu crankily, integrating the water heart into his body to continue living.

"Can you tell me what's going on here?" asked Kakashi suddenly. Naruto realized his sensei was talking to him. "I just ran my hand through his chest and he barely even flinched."

"Hearts." Croaked Naruto. "Monster-things. Are. His hearts. Gotta. Kill them. All."

"Ah," said Kakashi.

"It's been a while since someone managed to destroy even one of my hearts," said Kakuzu. "For me to lose two in a single day… fortunately there'll be plenty of material to make new ones once I'm done here."

"Hearts. Are elements," continued Naruto, a bit surer in his ability to speak. "I destroyed fire. You destroyed earth."

"I see," said Kakashi. "So he has water, wind, and lightning left?"

"Yes," confirmed Naruto.

"Which heart did he take into himself just now?"

"Water."

Kakashi nodded and put Naruto on the nearby branch. Naruto tried to move his limbs and found that he at least had basic locomotion, even if it wasn't enough for fighting. Before Kakuzu could order his hearts to start trashing the area again to flush them out, Kakashi darted into the fray, using elemental techniques to keep the hearts occupied.

Naruto watched the fight for a few moments, but was soon distracted by the soft sound of Zabuza landing on the branch beside him.

"What are you doing here?" asked Naruto, his speech finally getting semblance of normality again. "Kakashi-sensei needs your help."

He was honestly surprised when Zabuza smacked him over the head with the dull edge of his sword and his world went dark.

* * *

"Where do you think you're going?" Kakuzu asked, his hearts blocking Kakashi's way.

Kakashi resisted the urge to hiss. His student was just kidnapped by Zabuza and this monster of a man clearly wasn't going to let him break off and go after him!

Thinking of Zabuza made Kakashi's blood boil – he didn't know a lot of things about what happened here, but he had deduced that he and Naruto had entered some kind of mutual truce to deal with this new threat. Even though backstabbing one's allies was pretty common in the ninja world, he personally could never stand for it. When this was over he would track down Zabuza and have some 'heartfelt discussion' with him… even if he had to go to the edge of the earth to get him.

He'd love to create another shadow clone, but this missing-nin was strong and he would need every drop of his chakra reserves to come out victorious here. He quickly glanced around. Sasuke and Sakura were on their way here, catching up with him, and that was bad – Sasuke was very valuable in a monetary sense, and Kakashi's enemy was a bounty-hunter. He was hard-pressed enough as it is, he didn't need to a genin to worry about as well. The worst thing was that he couldn't even send them to pursue Zabuza – they were neither fast enough to catch up to the man, nor strong enough to defeat him if they did.

Damn this whole situation, damn it to hell!

"It's alright Kakashi-san," said a voice behind him. "You can go and retrieve your genin and I'll take care of things on this end."

Kakashi whirled around, only to face a red-headed teen that had somehow snuck up on him. That was… a considerable achievement, even if he was engrossed in other things at the moment.

"And why would I agree to such a thing?" Kakuzu asked, his two free-roaming hearts maneuvering to prevent Kakashi's escape. "Hatake Kakashi has quite a bounty on his head, whereas I don't even know who you _are_, kid. Honestly…"

The kid just made the softest of sighs and threw a scroll into the air, unsealing a cadre of puppets.

"Why are you still here?" the kid asked, and Kakashi realized the boy was referring to him. "You _do_ want to retrieve your genin, right?"

Kakashi frowned at the boy, but nodded and faced towards the masked bounty-hunter, ready to exploit any openings to break away from the fight. He didn't have to wait long – the boy's puppets were essentially immune to electricity and their incessant attacks from multiple directions forced the bounty-hunter to concentrate of defending himself. The moment he spotted the chance, Kakashi used and earth technique to sink into the ground and distanced himself from the battlefield.

Nothing had gone as planned in this mission.

* * *

Haku didn't like this. He had done plenty of things he didn't like in Zabuza-sama's employ, but rarely had he performed treachery that was so… blatant. The blond genin wasn't some shady criminal who was planning on double-crossing them the moment they turned their backs on him, or a bounty-hunter after them. The Konoha ninja helped them and was promptly betrayed for his troubles.

Haku didn't like this at all.

"Zabuza-sama…" began Haku.

"Shut up," Zabuza snapped. "I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it. We need the money and this kid is clearly worth a lot to someone if they're willing to send such powerful ninja after him."

"But they didn't," said Haku. "They sent them after Gato."

"Please," spat Zabuza. "Those two after a small fry like Gato? And besides, you saw how the kid reacted to their presence. Clearly _he_ thought those two freaks were after him."

"Which doesn't mean he's right," insisted Haku. "The ninja with the monsters inside of him treated the boy more like a nuisance than a target when we fought. I don't think he even knew who the kid _was_."

"He's worth a lot," said Zabuza firmly. "I'm sure of it. We'll just beat the reason out of him and collect the bounty later."

Haku hung his head glumly. He had a bad feeling about all this. Zabuza's theory was very speculative, with unknown risks and rewards. But surely his master knew this. If Zabuza-sama was willing to go ahead with it anyway, it meant their monetary situation was a lot worse than Haku had been told. He looked at the tied-up genin some distance away. The boy was still unconscious.

"Why have we stopped then?" asked Haku. "I don't think Kakashi is someone who's going to give up on one of his genin easily. Especially if he's as important as you suspect."

"That bounty-hunter will keep him busy for a while," grunted Zabuza dismissively, before sitting down on the ground heavily.

Haku glanced at Zabuza's hand clutching the place on his flank where the other bounty-hunter wounded him. Despite the blond's claims of healing the two of them, Haku could tell during the battle that the wound was still faintly there, manifesting itself as a small pressure in his chest at first but gradually worsening. Clearly, Zabuza's wound wasn't healed all that well either, and he had to take a short rest or his wound would open again. Haku supposed it was to be expected – their wounds were rather serious, and the kid was only a genin – but he couldn't shake the feeling it was intentional. If they kept to their part of the bargain, he could heal them properly once the fighting ended. If not, he would get a form of revenge from beyond the grave… or beyond the unconsciousness in this case.

"How bad is it?" asked Haku quietly.

"I can deal with it," grunted Zabuza. "I need only a minute."

Haku wished he could do something for his master, but his medical knowledge was limited. He had no idea what it was that the blond Konoha genin did to them when he 'healed' them, and without a straightforward wound to treat and plenty of time to prepare herbal ingredients he couldn't do much even if he did. He really hoped his master was right about his tolerances, because Haku suspected they just burned through any compassion Konoha ninja may have had for them.

Haku stared at the sky. Zabuza was skilled in getting out of unfavorable situations like this, through sheer tenacity if nothing else, but Haku couldn't help but think this was the end of the road for them. They were in a desperate position even before this mission, lacking in funds and constantly hunted by the Mist hunter-nin. Now they lost the demon brothers and, if the boy really was important, probably caused Konoha to send hunter-nins after them as well. Haku didn't regret a thing, of course – Zabuza was his life, and he was honored to have helped the man as his loyal tool – but he couldn't help but feel a little depressed and frustrated at how things were disintegrating all around them.

"Alright," said Zabuza suddenly, breaking Haku out of his thoughts. "Let's go."

"Go where?"

Haku's head snapped in the direction of their blond prisoner, who was awake and staring at Zabuza with a resentful gaze.

"Somewhere where we can have a little chat without people interrupting us," said Zabuza, approaching the bound boy.

"You betrayed me," the blond hissed. "You two really are even less than trash, aren't you?"

Zabuza's hand shot forward, clamping on the blond's neck and lifting him into the air. The blond gurgled and gasped for air, the only thing keeping him from suffocating being the fact that his weight was mildly supported by the tree Zabuza was pressing him against.

"Shut up, brat," barked Zabuza at him. "Coddled babies like you piss me off! People like you don't even have the right to call themselves ninjas! Treachery and deception are essential in our occupation."

The blond gave out a raspy laugh, causing Zabuza and Haku to stare nervously. Zabuza had blasted the kid with the full force of his killing intent, just inches away from his face – no genin should be able to summon that kind of reaction under the effects of such.

"Deception…" wheezed the blond. "Hey… want to hear a secret?"

Haku's breath quickened. Something was wrong – very, very wrong!

"What?" asked Zabuza crankily.

"You lost your prize a while ago," said the grinning blond. "Clone explosion."

Haku didn't have the time to scream a warning as the boy and Zabuza were enveloped in a deafening explosion.

* * *

Sasuke crouched on his branch like a coiled spring, motionless but ready to wade in the moment Kakashi gave the signal. His expression was stony and emotionless, but inside he was feeling giddy and maybe a little smug. His blonde teammate had gotten his stupid ass captured, and now it was up to Sasuke and Kakashi to save him.

Well, they already did that technically – Kakashi had switched Naruto with one of his transformed shadow clones the moment Zabuza and Haku stopped to rest for a while. What kind of idiots would stop for a rest while fleeing, anyway? Whatever. In any case, Kakashi wanted to teach the missing-nin a lesson and Sasuke was all too happy to go along. Those two were strong, and the best way to get stronger was to fight strong opponents. Besides, Kakashi had told him to keep Haku busy while he wrapped things up with Zabuza, and Naruto beat Haku. If Naruto could beat the guy, or girl, or whatever, then Sasuke could too.

Sakura didn't participate in this assault, of course. Kakashi had left her to care after Naruto. Officially it was because somebody needed to do that, but Sasuke knew it was just an excuse to keep her out of the way. Sasuke was glad to Kakashi for this, since that meant she wouldn't be holding him back while he fought Haku.

An explosion sounded just ahead, and Sasuke was in motion in an instant. It took him all of two seconds to reach the fighting grounds.

"Zabuza-sama!"

Sasuke homed in on Haku, breathing a fireball into the missing-nin's path. Haku dodged it (it would be rather disappointing if he didn't), but he was cut off from rushing to Zabuza's aid. Sasuke jumped down in front of the ice user.

Haku was clearly very upset, desperately searching for a way to side-step Sasuke. Quite frankly, it pissed Sasuke off. He would show this girl that he can't be taken lightly.

He threw a barrage of shuriken at Haku, which the girl… or was it guy? Honestly, he moved a bit like both. Anyway, Haku dodged them all, almost absent-mindedly. Just as Sasuke thought he had trapped his opponent in the wires attached to the shuriken, the ice user jumped into a mirror of ice and the wires met only air.

Sasuke jumped to the side and breathed a fireball at the place he was occupying only a moments ago. Sure enough, he caught the ice user into the flames when the missing-nin tried to stab him in the back. Unfortunately, his flames were hastily made and thus pretty weak, and the boy used his damnable ice powers to protect himself.

Haku flipped through the seals and thick mist rose from the ground. Sasuke's heart swelled in joy when he felt his sharingan copy the technique, but his happiness was dampened immediately afterwards, when he realized he was unlikely to use a technique like that. It didn't mesh with his fighting style. It looked more like something Naruto would use.

Oh well… a bartering chip, if nothing else.

Sasuke rushed towards Haku, a kunai in his hand. He traded blows with the boy, but Haku didn't seem to need a sharingan to counter his attacks. He was fast too, negating Sasuke's main advantage in battle.

Fortunately for Sasuke, Haku was getting frustrated by the battle far faster then he did. Sasuke intended to simply wait until Haku's impatience to rush to Zabuza's side caused him to make a mistake, but after putting some space between them with a barrage of icy needles, Haku flipped through a moderately long series of hand-seals and a dome of ice formed around Sasuke.

As a wave after wave of needles sped at him, Sasuke could only marvel at the glory that is sharingan. He could see them. He could counter them.

And he was beginning to see Haku's movements as well – it was only a matter of time before he could take the ice user out. Haku was a challenging opponent, true, but Haku was exerting himself while Sasuke just stood in place and countered everything. Actually, the ice user didn't seem all that healthy from the very start. It seemed the blond didn't go without a fight after all.

"You can throw as many of those as you like," Sasuke said, "and I'll still remain unscathed. Is this all you can do?"

Sasuke shuffled in anticipation. Hopefully the boy would show him some more techniques he could copy. Something other than his ice abilities, which Kakashi had told him were a consequence of a bloodline.

Frantic chirping sound filled the air, like a flock of birds out of nowhere, and Haku's face, reflected on the surface of every ice mirror around Sasuke, twisted into an expression of horror.

Haku tried to run, but Sasuke would not stand for it. As far as he was concerned, Haku just turned his back at him and left himself vulnerable. Before Haku could properly exit the dome of ice and walk into one of his transport mirrors, Sasuke struck. One kunai through the ice user's chest and his opponent stumbled and fell to the ground, dead. Since his opponent was facing away from him when he killed him, Sasuke didn't even see his expression as he died.

Probably for the best.

A faint sound of an explosion rumbled in the distance, far too far away for it to be connected with Kakashi's fight. Seemed like somebody else was fighting, too.

Sasuke stared at Haku's dead body for a few more seconds before walking away in search of Kakashi.

* * *

"I see now," Kakuzu said evenly. "And here I thought you died."

"In a certain sense I died a long time ago," Sasori said. "Death isn't as clear-cut a concept as most people think. I'd expected someone like you to know that."

Sasori kicked the disabled fire heart that Naruto overloaded with those puppet-destroying tags of his. He supposed he should have come to the same conclusion – Kakuzu's hearts were constructs created from human bodies, capable of using chakra techniques, just like Sasori's human puppets – but he was still surprised to learn that the Kakuzu's hearts were simply elaborate puppets. He'd have to gather up the remains when he dealt with Kakuzu and see what he could learn from them.

"I never knew we had another puppeteer in Akatsuki," said Sasori. "A pity. I would have loved to discuss puppet construction with someone as intelligent and experienced as yourself. Now it's too late."

"Why did you do it?" asked Kakuzu, his voice more curious than angry.

Sasori shrugged. "Things happened. I would have preferred to stay clear of the organization, but it seems it's inevitable that we come into conflict with each other. It's nothing personal, you realize, it's just that you're in a wrong place at the wrong time."

Kakuzu frowned. "I hate to burst your bubble, oh great puppet-master, but you're no match for me. You little wooden toys are can't last against constructs made out of high-quality wire and bodies of my enemies."

Sasori internally debated whether to use the Third Kazekage and show Kakuzu just what his 'wooden toys' could do, but decided against it. Everything in it's time. And this fight wasn't the time to show his greatest weapon.

"Perhaps that would be true if you were at the top of your strength," said Sasori, though he personally doubted it, "but you no longer have the earth and fire hearts, and you have expended a great deal of your chakra reserves."

"It will be enough," Kakuzu said.

"We shall see," Sasori countered.

And thus the talk was over. The puppets rushed towards Kakuzu, dancing between the blasts of wind and water that Kakuzu and his wind heart sent their way. The lightning heart was strangely docile, a curiosity that was explained soon enough as the real lightning heart emerged from under ground behind Sasori, the soil exploding upward as the heart struggled to position itself for the perfect strike. The fake lightning heart next to Kakuzu melted into water, which immediately formed a dome of water around the man. It wasn't much, but it would interrupt the puppets attack long enough for the lightning heart to kill Sasori.

Or at least, that's what Kakuzu probably though.

Electrified threads lashed out against the puppet-master, but were stopped immediately as Sasori's blade-wings blinked into existence, cutting through the chakra-enhanced wires and impaling the offending heart. The puppets, meanwhile, didn't even bother launching their fast and precise, but weak attacks at the dome of water. Instead they rammed into it and… were stopped. They just didn't have enough momentum to break through.

Sasori pulled on the chakra strings, activating the explosive seals riddling the puppet's surface. A deafening explosion erupted around the dome of water, utterly consuming it and sending debris in every direction. Sasori extended his hand and set loose a torrent of water to deflect a particularly large chunk from slamming into him, his feet firmly glued on to the ground with chakra.

His little student had some good ideas. While Sasori much preferred the quieter and more selective weapons like poisons, needles, and blades, explosions definitely had their uses. In fact, from a certain viewpoint, an explosion could be thought of as a precision weapon – it was amazing how many problems could be solved with a well-placed explosion, as his lessons with Naruto had shown him.

Sasori didn't even wait till the dust cleared completely before charging in. True, this would be the end of most people, but Kakuzu wasn't most people. And sure enough, Kakuzu was clearly still alive, and was just finishing absorbing his last heart when Sasori found him.

Kakuzu's head snapped in Sasori's direction, and expression of utter fury etched in his face. He was coughing black blood and one of his arms was missing.

"I'll kill you!" he hissed. "I'll stitch up Hidan and hand you over to him, and he'll play around with you for days! I'll have you disemboweled and turned in one of your stupid puppets!"

"Too late for that, I'm afraid," said Sasori, pointing his outstretched hand towards Kakuzu. Kakuzu's eyes locked on the small opening in the center of Sasori's palm and his face twisted into an expression of shock and understanding.

"That's why you look so young?" Kakuzu asked in disbelief. "I-"

A tight jet of pressurized water slammed into Kakuzu's stomach, scattering his entrails behind him. Sasori motioned his hand upward, destroying the last of Kakuzu's hearts, stopping the flow of water before the jet hit the head. One of his blade wings lashed out in front of him, separating Kakuzu's head from his body. Sasori caught the head before it fell, leaving the body to fall down with a small thud.

Head was all he needed, after all.

He remained on high alert for the next few minutes, waiting to see if the massive explosion would attract any unwanted attention. It didn't. Sasori went to work, salvaging the remains of Kakuzu's hearts for later study. Soft footsteps soon broke him out of his task.

Sasori craned his head to look at Kabuto.

"I see you've handled Kakuzu already," Kabuto said with obvious amusement. "Or rather, I _heard_. I think Naruto is beginning to rub off on you."

Sasori resisted the urge to scowl. Kabuto was getting surprisingly casual with him as months went by. Sasori still wasn't sure what to think of that. He supposed he could tolerate the attitude – Kabuto was his most loyal operative now, and Sasori had delegated a fair bit of work to the medic-nin. If he allowed Naruto to behave as he did towards him, but denied the same to Kabuto, the medic-nin could see it as favoritism.

"Kakuzu is not someone to take lightly," said Sasori. "I did not want to take any chances."

"I suppose that's true," said Kabuto.

"Did you retrieve the target?" asked Sasori.

Kabuto reached into his backpack and took out Hidan's head, waving it around like a toy. The head was clearly still alive, if the murderous gaze in the wildly darting eyes was any indication, but silent.

It was hard to talk when your mouth had been sewn shut, after all.

"I see you already took measures to silence him," said Sasori.

Kabuto shrugged. "His potty mouth was getting rather annoying."

"Quite."

"On the bright side, I managed to salvage a few more of his body parts," said Kabuto cheerfully, holding the head so Hidan's face was facing him. "Just imagine – a man who cannot die! Do you have any idea how amazing that is, Hidan-kun? The sheer medical insight one could gain by studying someone like that is mind-boggling." Kabuto brought the head closer to him, grinning like a maniac. He traced his finger over Hidan's cheek, as if making an incision. "I'd like to see how that works."

Sasori almost felt sorry for Hidan. Kabuto could be quite heartless and methodical when he wanted to find out something. That was Sasori's original reason for trying to put Kabuto as a spy among Orochimaru's underlings. No matter what Kabuto said, Sasori knew the medic-nin would fit in like a glove among Orochimaru's inner circle.

"By the way, Sasori-sama," said Kabuto, putting the head away back into his backpack. "I understand why we're bringing Hidan's head, but why Kakuzu's as well? He's… well, _dead_."

Sasori glanced at the head cradled in his arms. He should probably put it away somewhere, but sealing biological substances away without damaging them was tricky business and he didn't have any suitable containers.

"As I said to Kakuzu before his regrettable end, death is a very fuzzy concept. The human brain retains information for several days after metabolic processes cease. Extracting that information is a time-consuming and delicate process that requires absolute concentration on my part, as well as some high-level seals, but I can do it."

"Ah," said Kabuto in understanding. "How interesting."

"Indeed," agreed Sasori. "Now let's get back to our base in Konoha. I need a secure place free of interruptions and distractions for this procedure."

"What?" Asked Kabuto curiously. "You aren't going to say hi to Naruto?"

"No," said Sasori. "I need to extract the information before Kakuzu's brain decays, and Naruto will be just fine. I trust Kakashi's competence in this matter."

"Hm," said Kabuto thoughtfully. "You think he won't tell Naruto about his encounter with you?"

"It's not how ninja think," said Kabuto. "He'll tell the Hokage and no one else."

"Probably," agreed Kabuto, trudging after his master.

* * *

Kakashi giggled as he flipped the page of his precious Icha-Icha, though in reality his mind and attention was on his students. They were walking home for quite some time now, and they were all deathly silent. No one made attempts to talk, or even complain – not Naruto, not Sakura, and certainly not Sasuke.

Naruto's kidnapping by his impromptu allies left him subdued and lethargic, though Kakashi was disappointed that the blond never made any attempts to discuss the event with him. The only person who cared enough to discuss their problems with Kakashi was Sakura, who he had to assure again that she wasn't useless, and that he was definitely going to help her get better when they reached Konoha. Sasuke, despite the fact that he killed 3 people in his first mission, didn't seem all that affected, but it was hard to tell his real feelings since he was always silent and withdrawn. Kakashi was sure it had left its mark on the boy, but he also knew that try to initiate conversation about it would put Sasuke on the defensive. He saw himself as a perfect ninja, and ninja weren't supposed to feel bad about killing; no matter what Kakashi said, Sasuke would perceive it as a weakness and just push the feeling deeper.

Kakashi snapped his book shut and put it in his pocket. He couldn't even pretend to enjoy it any more. Kami help him, this mission was a total disaster. The Hokage would skin him alive when he found out what Kakashi put his team through without abandoning mission or asking for help. Well, it probably wouldn't be that severe, but he could definitely look forward to a stern talking to and some 'penance missions' to drive the point home. Bad enough, really.

Three rookie genin and their sensei walked in complete silence, all of too tired to talk and caught up in their own introspective moods.


	10. Aftershocks

Been very busy. Lost my beta so apologies for grammar mistakes. Sorry for the wait.

I would like to warn people that the story is going to outright ignore some elements of canon in the future (like Danzo, Madara, magekyo sharingan madness, etc). Sorry if this bothers you, but they just don't fit into concept of my story. Some canon may even be re-imaged or contradicted… that's why it's labeled as AU.

Now on to the story.

* * *

Being a Hokage was a demanding job. It required personal power, political intuitions, and an ability to deal with formalities of the position. But more than any of those things, it required one to have complete control over their emotions. Not be emotionless, mind you, or even pretend to be such – rather, a Hokage should always look like they know what they're doing. Nothing is a cause for concern. Nothing is unexpected. A wall of unassailable confidence from which everyone beneath draws strength. The Will of Fire.

That is what Sarutobi Hiruzen was taught, and he strived to embody that ideal to the best of his ability. He had gotten quite good at it over the years, which is why he was able to keep his temper in check as he listened to Kakashi's mission report.

"Thank you, Kakashi," said Sarutobi with calmness that surprised even him. "Team 7, you may go home and rest for now, but you may be called in for questioning in the next few days due to the… peculiarities of your mission. You will be taken off the active rooster and will not resume missions until three weeks have passed. Kakashi, stay behind please."

Sarutobi patiently waited till the three genin shuffled out of the room before dismissing the ANBU guards and activating the privacy seals. Then he took a deep breath, and gave a squirming Kakashi a hard look before he spoke.

"Kakashi," began Hiruzen, "what _the hell_ possessed you to do something this _stupid_?"

Kakashi flinched at his words. It wasn't every day that Hokage used such harsh language when addressing someone, and Sarutobi was generally a polite person.

"I admit that my choices were somewhat… inadvisable," tried Kakashi.

"Somewhat inadvisable?" asked Sarutobi incredulously. "Kakashi, you led three rookie genin against Zabuza of the Bloody Mist, and he wasn't even alone or weakened at the time. You should have asked for help immediately."

Kakashi frowned a little. "With all respect, Hokage-sama, but I didn't know it was him until it was too late. You told me to put Naruto on the spot and see how he reacts, and I did. And frankly, if it was just Zabuza I had to deal with, the mission would have gone without much trouble. I didn't want to talk about this before you secured the room, but there was a third and fourth party involved into this."

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. Taking that as prompting to keep speaking, Kakashi continued.

"I haven't been able to get the details out of Naruto, but at one point he was attacked by a very powerful missing-nin and had to enter a temporary truce with Zabuza and his assistant. It was because Zabuza betrayed this alliance at the most inopportune of times that he managed to kidnap Naruto so easily."

"How powerful are we talking about here?" asked Sarutobi curiously.

"More powerful than me," said Kakashi after a short pause. "To be frank, I don't think I would have been able to defeat him. Not quickly enough to save Naruto, at any case. That's when the fourth party got involved."

"Well, go on," Sarutobi urged.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head nervously, reminding Sarutobi of Naruto when he did something he shouldn't have.

"It's funny…" said Kakashi. "I don't remember much of anything about him… well, except that he was a he… and a bit short…"

Sarutobi pinched his nose in frustration. "Kakashi, this is no time for jokes."

"It's no joke Hokage-sama," protested Kakashi. "Somehow the ninja messed with my mind and I didn't even notice it until hours afterwards. I'm quite upset about it."

"He put you in a genjutsu?" asked Sarutobi curiously. "Must have been quite a genjutsu master – the sharingan is supposed to defeat all genjutsu."

"Well…" said Kakashi. "Technically. But those who know how the sharingan works can learn to trick it with enough practice. But it's a bit irrelevant, since he initially approached me from behind. My sharingan wasn't even looking at him so I suppose he had plenty of opportunity to place a genjutsu on me without me noticing."

Sarutobi exhaled heavily and closed his eyes. A missing-nin powerful enough that even Kakashi didn't know whether he could defeat him or not? An unknown ninja that could sneak up on Kakashi and put him into a genjutsu without him ever realizing it until hours afterwards? It sounded rather farfetched, but Kakashi wasn't the sort to make things up to make his defeat less embarrassing.

"I want you to write two reports for me," said Sarutobi. "The official one, in which you will edit out these things you just told me, and the one for my eyes only where you will write down every single detail that you remember."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Dismissed."

Sarutobi leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling, listening to the soft click as Kakashi slipped out of the room.

You knew things were bad when Kakashi didn't even complain about having to write two separate reports for a single mission.

* * *

Pein stood before the bridge-builder's home. Well, Human Realm did – the other Realms were spread around in the Land of the Waves. It was hard to believe that a building like this and its inhabitants were in any way related to Kakuzu's death, but the information he forced out of the natives was consistent no matter who he asked – 'go ask Tazuna'.

And so he was here.

Words could not express how angry Pein was about Kakuzu's death. Hidan was merely cannon-fodder, easily replaceable, but Kakuzu was the one responsible for roughly half of Akatsuki's income and served as the spymaster of the organization after Sasori's death. This was a major setback. Although he did prepare a back-up spy network after Sasori's death, in case something like this happened, it was far inferior to what the remnants of Sasori's network provided under Kakuzu's care. It was obvious, then, that he should personally investigate the cause of Kakuzu's death. This was too important to be delegated to someone else.

Unfortunately, this area had been combed through quite thoroughly by the time he arrived, leaving him with the laborious task of reconstructing the events from only the faintest of clues. As far as he could piece together, the local bridge builder hired a team of ninja from Konoha to guard him from Gato's mercenaries. Then there was chaos. Since the Konoha ninja were the only ones left alive at the end, it only made sense that they were the ones to kill Kakuzu. Which was worrying – Konoha shouldn't have anyone capable of killing someone like him, certainly not with what appeared to be a standard Konoha genin team.

He stepped in front of the door and knocked.

"Just one minute!" sounded a female voice from inside, getting closer towards the door. "What can I do-"

The young woman that opened the door - probably Tazuna's daughter Tsunami – took one look at his Human Realm and her eyes instantly widened in horror. But she was just a civilian, and too slow. Before she could do anything, Human Realm pressed his palm against her face in a blindingly fast maneuver. Her eyes rolled back in her head as Pein forced himself into her mind and began sifting through her memories.

A genin team, yes. Hatake Kakashi? Doubtful - the greedy immortal was quite capable and experienced, and had defeated stronger opponents with little trouble. The Uchiha was too young, not even Itachi could survive a conflict with Kakuzu at that age. The pink-haired one was talkative, and Pein focused on Tsunami's memories of her talks with the girl. Interesting. She probably didn't even realize how much she revealed during those talks. So the blonde genin is... the Kyuubi jinchuuriki.

That… was worryingly likely. If the blond jinchuuriki could tap into his beast, he could probably take Kakuzu by surprise and kill him before he has time to flee or devise a strategy.

Apparently he couldn't afford to wait any longer, despite his plan not being ready. He had to take care of the container soon, before he could grow even stronger than he is right now.

He released the girl from his technique and she fell to the lifelessly to the ground, her brain liquefied. It was just as well, because no one was going to be left alive here – his investigation wasn't exactly subtle and the risk of someone finding out about Akatsuki this soon was too great.

"What did you do to my mom!" screamed a little boy. The woman's son, according to her memories.

Human Realm threw a kunai absent-mindedly at the child, piecing his eye and killing him on the spot. Tazuna himself seemed to be sleeping upstairs, drunk of his mind. Pein debated internally whether to read his mind too, but decided that the old drunk knew nothing of further value. Human Realm scattered a stack of explosive notes around the house and left.

In the center of the largest settlement, a party was going on, people celebrating their new freedom from Gato and his thugs. Smack in the middle of the celebration, Demon Realm split open to reveal an arsenal of advanced weaponry, which he fired into the crowd. Happy cheers turned into screams of terror as the weapons impacted all around them, toppling buildings and killing hundreds. On the outskirts of the settlement, other Realms patiently waited, picking off anyone that escaped the carnage. It only took 10 minutes for the entire settlement to fall deathly silent and devoid of life.

Further away from the carnage, God Realm stared at the bridge that the islanders worked so hard on, pouring their dreams and hopes into it. He stretched his hand towards it, and the huge construction snapped in half before sinking into the sea.

When a squad of ANBU from Konoha arrived to search the battle sites for clues, they would find only a broken land devoid of human life, populated only by ruins and corpses.

Land of Waves was no more.

* * *

Sarutobi took a good, long puff from his pipe to calm his nerves. He was rereading Kakashi's written report for the third time today, hoping beyond hope that there was something in it that he had missed the first two times. What happened in the Land of the Waves was of great importance - the destruction of the Land of the Waves right after Kakashi's team left was proof of that. Unfortunately, no new insights were hidden there.

Sarutobi threw the stack of papers on his desk and rubbed his eyes in frustration. He was too old for this.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts.

"Come in."

Mitarashi Anko and Yuuhi Kurenai entered the room and Sarutobi straightened himself and schooled his features.

"Mitarashi-san, Kurenai-san…" he greeted.

"You called for our presence, Hokage-sama?" asked Kurenai. Anko remained silent, never having been particularly adept at formalities. Sarutobi didn't particularly mind, so he got straight to the point.

"I did," confirmed Sarutobi. "I have a mission for you two, one related to Uzumaki Naruto. I assume you have heard about Team 7's ill fated mission to the Wave?"

They nodded. Of course they did. It may have only been 3 days, but the gossip spread fast. It was not often a simple C-rank escort mission turned into such a disaster, and it was even rarer for a genin team to get out of it alive. Considering what happened to the Land of the Waves afterwards…

Well, people took notice of such things.

"I don't know what rumors you might have heard," said Sarutobi, handing both of them a copy of Kakashi's report, "but there are certain aspect of that mission that are being kept secret. This report contains only a partial account of the events that transpired on that mission, but please take a look at it before we begin."

Sarutobi waited patiently as Kurenai and Anko skimmed through the report for the next few minutes. Though fairly long, a large part of the text consisted of Kakashi's attempts to justify his… less than intuitive decisions. He was confident they'd catch the important details quickly enough.

Anko finished first, likely by reading through the report less thoroughly, and threw the stack of papers on the desk where they scattered haphazardly. Sarutobi quickly but calmly stopped the papers from flying completely apart, as that would just create more work for him when these two leave.

"So the brats had an eventful first mission," said Anko. "Everyone survived, so what's the issue?"

"Several things," said Sarutobi, confident that though Kurenai was still reading the report she would pay attention to his words. "You may have noticed that the description of Kakashi's unknown… err, savior… are a bit sketchy."

"Yeah, actually I did," said Anko. "You think Kakashi's keeping something secret?"

Sarutobi shook his head. "The unknown ninja showed himself freely. However, when Kakashi later tried to recall the ninja's appearance he found that he couldn't. All he could think of was that the ninja was perfectly ordinary – average height, average face, average everything. After a great deal of effort, he remembered that the ninja was a puppeteer, but that's as detailed as he could manage."

Kurenai perked up for this. "I know that technique," she said. "It's a delayed-effect genjutsu, typically used to maintain secrecy during information gathering missions. It's difficult to counter because few people are even aware they're caught in a genjutsu at first, as there is no immediate effect."

"Interesting," said Sarutobi. "Is there a way to counter the effect?"

Kurenai shook her head. "The only counter is dispelling the genjutsu before it activates. Maybe you should try with the Yamanaka? Don't they specialize in retrieving information from people's minds?"

Sarutobi sighed and waved that idea away. He had indeed thought of that, and quickly dismissed it as a bad idea. Having Inoichi trudge through Kakashi's mind in the hope he could somehow unlock the garbled memories of the man would piss Kakashi off something fierce. Kakashi was an intensely private person, and he would never forgive Sarutobi if he was subjected to something like that. As much as Sarutobi felt Kakashi could have handled the mission better, he wasn't willing to declare full-out war like that.

"What did the ANBU clean-up squad find?" asked Anko.

"Ruins," said Sarutobi with a serious face. "It's just as bad as you heard – there were no survivors anywhere. I ordered a detailed examination of the remnants, but considering the sheer scale of disturbance, I doubt we'll get any useful results from it."

"Why don't you ask Naruto?" asked Kurenai suddenly. "He's obviously connected to this somehow."

"I did ask him," said Sarutobi carefully. "He said he was attacked by two missing-nin, not one. Apparently there is an organization called 'Akatsuki', whose members wear black cloaks decorated with red clouds, always travel in pairs, and hunt after the jinchuuriki so they can extract the tailed beasts for their own purposes."

"And he knows this _how_?" asked Kurenai with a frown.

"He was told this by his sources," said Sarutobi in a serious voice.

"His sources?" asked Kurenai incredulously. "You don't often meet 12-year-olds who have _sources_…"

"Indeed," agreed Sarutobi. "That's why I had Ibiki interrogate him. Nothing violent, just some psychological pressure."

"And?"

"Well, we've found out that psychological pressure doesn't work on him. He completely shrugged it off, almost like he was used to it. Ibiki couldn't make up his mind in the end. On one hand, Naruto seemed to honestly believe what he was telling, but on the other hand, Ibiki found it strange how quickly the boy's mood shifted. He thinks Naruto has a multiple personality disorder and can switch back and forth between several personalities, with at least one personality lacking access to critical memories, allowing Naruto to be both honest and keep silent about things he doesn't want people to know."

"That sounds paranoid, even for Ibiki," said Anko. "And everything I know about multiple personalities tells me they're more of a crippling weakness than a boon like that."

"Right. I didn't intend to accuse Naruto on such a shaky theory anyway," said Sarutobi.

"What about the, eh, 'Uzumaki Report'? It's become quite a famous document in the Torture and Interrogation headquarters, you know? Did anyone actually read that thing to the end?"

Kurenai looked at Anko and Sarutobi questioningly, but Sarutobi waved it off. "It's just a report that Ibiki asked Naruto to write at the end of their session. I'm sure Anko can fill you in on it after we're done here."

Besides, not even the aging Hokage knew just what to make of that report. Make it detailed, Ibiki said. Don't leave anything out, Ibiki said. And indeed, Naruto put everything there – the damn thing was 83 pages long, with densely packed writing and several illustration, and included such gems like a florid 5-page description of a particular tree that caught Naruto's attention, a meandering essay on the transitory nature of life, and a short poem about mist. Apparently unable to think of something to write in the remaining 27 pages, and unwilling to let them go to waste, he folded them into a variety of origami animals - 'as a present to Ibiki, for being such a swell guy'.

As of right now, nobody had managed to read the entirety of the report without dozing off in the process. How Naruto managed to make that report in only 6 hours was truly a mystery for the ages.

"There is definitely something strange happening around Naruto," said Sarutobi. "And I believe there is a much better way to find out what, far better than having the ANBU tailing him – something that only encourages him to treat us as his enemies and has shown itself to be rather ineffective against him anyway."

"Us?" tried Anko.

Sarutobi nodded. "Let me get one thing out of the way: I am not trying to catch Naruto red-handed so I can lock him away and throw away the key. What I am doing is in the boy's best interest. He's clearly tangling with forces he does not understand, but forces he cares enough about to shield them from our scrutiny. What I need is someone friendly with the boy, but mature enough to help me get him out whatever he's mired himself into."

"I'm not sure I'm the right choice, Hokage-sama," said Anko. "This sounds like something that requires tact and patience, which… aren't my strong points, to be honest. Kurenai would probably be better off doing this alone."

"I disagree," said Sarutobi. "The boy trusts you much more than he does Kurenai, probably precisely because of that forward attitude of yours. And sometimes a lack of tact and patience is an advantage, not a flaw – especially if one has a reputation for being direct, so it doesn't seem out of character. I'd like results as soon as possible, before Naruto's loyalties shift completely away from Konoha. I can't afford to escalate this right now because we're about to host Chuunin Exams in Konoha soon, but if you don't find out anything significant by the end of the Chuunin Exams… I'm afraid I'll have to use more _unpleasant_ methods."

A brief silence descended on the scene as all three thought about the fallout of such actions.

"You're dismissed," said Sarutobi suddenly. "For everyone's sake, I hope you don't fail."

* * *

Naruto knew he was under close scrutiny. He didn't appear to have ANBU shadowing his every step. It was obvious, however, that a lot of eyes were drawn to him wherever he went, waiting for him to make a misstep somewhere so they could pounce. The fact that Sasori and Kabuto were suspiciously absent from their usual haunts when he subtly scouted them out only drove the point home. Even they could see where the wind was blowing right now - that ill-fated mission to the Wave had caused people to take notice of things about Naruto they once dismissed simply as lucky streaks and consequences of fortunate circumstances, and it would take a while before they find something else to obsess about.

Taking a few moments to catch his breath, Naruto continued his morning routine of physical exercises. Old Man had placed entire Team 7 on a forced vacation, but Naruto was never into slacking off. Besides, his morning exercises were a wonderful way to chase of drowsiness and bleed off some of that pent up frustration that was seething in his ever since he returned to Konoha.

He understood that it was perfectly normal for ninja to betray their allies when it suited them. He understood that he would be forced to do things he didn't agree with for the village and his employers at some point in his career. He understood that it was not only acceptable but _expected_ from a Hokage to send a suspiciously competent and knowledgeable genin to a borderline psycho interrogator to see what was behind it all. He understood that it was perfectly logical for the villagers to be suspicious towards a kid holding the most powerful of bijuu in his belly.

He understood all of it. But that didn't mean he liked it.

It occurred to him that he was rapidly hurtling towards a conflict with the Old Man and the village, and the realization filled him with a feeling of dread and free-floating resentment. For the first time in his life, Naruto wondered about his self-set goal of becoming Hokage.

Or about his future in the village, for that matter.

"You seem troubled."

Naruto twitched in surprise and his head snapped towards the sound, his whole body twisting itself into a combat-ready position. But it was just Shino up in the branches, sitting there like he hadn't just sneak up on him. Naruto frowned – if Shino could sneak up on him, then surely ANBU could, too. Maybe the fact that he couldn't notice them only meant they factored his hearing into their efforts now? He'd have to think about that for a while.

"I'm sure you already heard about my first mission outside the village," Naruto said. "Everyone is talking about it, anyway."

"It's always preferable to gather information from sources that were present when the events in question took place," Shino said calmly.

Naruto chuckled and waved his hand dismissively, gesturing that he wasn't in the mood for verbal sparring. If Shino wanted to hear his side of the story, then Naruto would oblige him.

So Naruto talked. More accurately, he rambled, drifting from one topic to another, too tired to structure his thoughts properly. He abused his focus seal so much during his interrogation with Ibiki that his thoughts were still a little scrambled two days later. But if Shino was bothered, he didn't show it, opting instead to listen patiently. Naruto was grateful that Shino didn't attempt to shoot holes through his half-truths and evasions, because quite frankly, he was sick of people doing that lately.

"So there I was," said Naruto, "alone with nothing to do, looking at some spider crawl along the rocks. It was huge! And I thought… why don't I try and see if I can place a seal on an insect?"

"Spiders aren't insects," Shino said sternly.

"Fine, arachnid. Anyway, I caught the ins… arachnid! I caught the arachnid and tried to put an integrity seal on it to, you know, make it stronger or something. But it died. And so I was thinking how much it sucks that the arachnid died, and I was feeling a bit guilty about killing it, but then I thought… why should the fact that it's dead stop me? So I dusted off that book you gave me, the one about insects… and other arthropods… and read up on arachnid physiology. Anyway, I used medical chakra to rearrange its insides a bit, removed a few organs it wasn't going to be needing any more, placed a few more integrity seals to keep it from falling apart, a control seal here and there… and bam, I got it walking again. It didn't do anything unless I imprinted an order in it, and it fell apart after a few minutes and I couldn't put it back afterwards, but I think this experiment proves that there is potential in the idea."

"You animated a dead spider?" asked Shino, a barest hint of disbelief in his voice.

"It was a zombie spider!" said Naruto enthusiastically. "How cool is that?"

"'Cool' is not precisely how I would describe it," said Shino. "Naruto, are you certain you are feeling well? You seem a bit… off… today."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," said Naruto dismissively. He decided not to tell Shino that the zombie spider was just the beginning of his experiment. After the somewhat disappointing results with the spider, he went through hundreds of other insects and then moved on to small animals. He must have killed at least 50 squirrels and half as many birds yesterday.

Of course, killing insects and small animals wasn't the only thing he was doing with his time. While recreating Naga was not possible at the moment because he lacked certain parts that only Sasori could procure, he was already working on new puppets with the materials he did have. He definitely wasn't going to depend on a single puppet anymore, that's for sure – when Kakuzu destroyed Naga, he was pretty much rendered completely ineffective.

Unfortunately, his building materials were rather limited at the moment, which led him to experiment with more… exotic… materials. Living beings were one thing, but he also tried animating origami constructs, crude sculptures made out of wire or cloth, and even a small puppet made entirely out of warped, interlocking spoons and forks.

Maybe Shino was right – his ideas were a bit crazy lately, even for him. He really shouldn't abuse the focus seal like that any more.

"There you are, Naru-chan!" Anko's voice yelled over the clearing. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Naruto groaned. He did not want to deal with Anko right now.

"If you want to interrogate me, you can forget it," said Naruto crankily. "I am sick of telling this story over and over again."

"What are you talking about?" said Anko cheerfully. "I'm here to taking you bathing with me."

"Huh?"

"You and me, together in that new bathhouse that opened up last week," said Anko. "There is nothing like a nice, warm bath with a well-endowed woman to calm a guy's nerves after his first botched mission."

"Don't even joke about that, Anko," growled Naruto.

"Who's joking?" asked Anko. "You're going with me to the bathhouse and that's that."

"Like hell I am!"

"But Kurenai isn't here and I want to go to the bathhouse!" whined Anko.

"Go alone," said Naruto.

"Naru-chan is so mean," protested Anko, materializing behind Naruto in the blink of an eye and pressing herself against Naruto's back. "You know what I think? I think you're just afraid you'll get hard at seeing your dear aunt Anko naked."

"Yeah right!" said Naruto, red as a lobster and desperately avoiding Anko, who was trying to get him to look at her breasts. "This is sexual harassment, you know? I could have you reported for this! Shino is my witness! Aren't you Shino?"

Shino was gone, his branch empty. Curse that traitor!

"Pfff," said Anko, grabbing Naruto's arm and dragging him with her.

"Anko, stop dragging me, I said I won't- I mean, seriously, it's not like we can even bathe together even if you want to. I'm sure it's against the rules or something."

"Nope," said Anko happily. "They have private baths for couples."

"Couples!?"

Despite Naruto's attempts, Anko would not be denied her bath with him, and Naruto eventually decided it was safer to indulge her. It's wasn't like she was _really_ going to try something, right? Right. At least they were going to be in a public bath house so his screams for help will wouldn't be ignored.

It wasn't as bad as Naruto feared – they both had towels and Anko became eerily calm and serene once she hit the water. Occasionally they engaged in meaningless banter, but mostly they just relaxed.

Well, as much as Naruto could relax when being in a bath with Anko.

"Anko," said Naruto suddenly. "What's that thing on your neck?"

Anko flinched as thought she'd been struck and covered the black mark with her hand. "It's nothing."

"It's a seal, right?" said Naruto. "What does it do?"

"It eats curious blonds," she said. "Can't you take a hint? Back off."

"Oh come on," said Naruto, his interest piqued. "I have an interest in seals, you know? Can't you let me have a look at it?"

Anko grinned. "Why Naru-chan, are you trying to get an excuse to feel me up? You don't need an excuse for that, you know, I'll be happy to-"

"Nope, not gonna work," said Naruto. "Look, it will only take a minute."

She sighed and motioned him to come closer. Approaching Anko like this was probably rather foolish, but Naruto's curiosity was stronger than his sense of self-preservation when it came to seals. He moved to Anko's side and studied the seal.

It was hard to discern the function of the seal once it had been compressed, especially a seal as complex as this, but it was clear to Naruto that that this wasn't one seal but two – the central seal and the blocking overlay similar to the one that prevented Kyuubi's chakra to seep into his chakra coils… much. There was no way Anko could be a container of a demon, was there? No, of course not, but the seal in the center was clearly malicious. Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Hey brat, how long is this going to take?" asked Anko crankily.

"Give me a little bit more," said Naruto, placing his hand over the seal and directing medical chakra into the flesh around it. He then performed the diagnosis technique and scanned Anko's chakra coils. It was a little trick he developed jointly with Hinata, though it was a lot more useful to her than to a byakugan-less ninja like Naruto. Concentrating intensely, he could see that the seal reached far into Anko's chakra system, entangled to the point where it was essentially impossible to remove. It had both a sealing component and a biological one, so the containment overlay was essentially ineffective.

"Anko…" said Naruto, removing his hand, to Anko's visible relief. "You realize the blocking mechanism for the seal isn't really working, don't you?"

Her eyes widened. "W-What?"

"Yeah. Whoever contained the seal assumed it was just that – a seal. It's actually a lot more – that thing basically let roots throughout your entire chakra system. The overlay won't do anything if the seal activates for whatever reason."

Anko seemed mortified by that information.

"The good thing is that I think I can make you one that works!" said Naruto happily.

"You… can?" asked Anko incredulously. "But how do you-"

"I'm both a medic-nin and proficient in sealing," said Naruto. "That makes me one of the few people who can actually design a counter for this kind of thing. It would be a lot easier if I knew just what the seal _does_, however."

Anko was silent for a full minute, staring blankly into water.

"Alright," she said finally. "Tell me, what do you know about Orochimaru?"

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked carefully, before her expression turned hopeful. "Did you think of something to give me an edge?"

"Actually, yes," said Kakashi.

"Really? What is it?"

"Ninjutsu."

"Nin- But Kakashi-sensei, I'm not exactly-"

"Perfect for ninjutsu?" asked Kakashi. "Very few people are. While large chakra reserves are the hallmark of a ninjutsu specialist, excellent chakra control certainly doesn't hurt. Most people have neither as genin, so you're already one step ahead of them."

Kakashi eye-smiled at his female student. He had been wracking his brains for several days now, thinking what to do with her, when this appealingly simple idea occurred to him. She was built more for a genjutsu specialist or a medic-nin, but so what? He certainly couldn't help her advance in those areas, and he doubted she wanted to leave Team 7 for a career in either. Besides, he knew plenty of techniques that would make good use of her level of chakra control.

The good thing was that he managed to convince the Hokage that his Team needs to have more in the way of combat abilities. To that end, Kakashi was authorized to teach them a dozen or so low level techniques and one or two high-level ones. He had yet to decide which ones to teach them – they had to be fairly versatile since he suspected they'll be limited to them for a while – but he had time till the end of Team 7's 'assisted vacation', so it wasn't a pressing concern.

Kakashi casually picked up a shard sword hanging on his back and hurled it in front of Sakura, who yelped in surprise and jumped back. The sword embedded itself into the soft earth, doing nothing of note.

"A sword?" Sakura asked. "You're going to teach me sword-fighting?"

"Not quite," said Kakashi. "You see, although it doesn't look like much, that sword is special. It's my old training sword."

"Training sword?"

"That's right. The sword soaks up chakra like a sponge and uses it to try to damage the wielder. It takes quite a bit of chakra control to keep it from hurting you while sparring with someone, and quite large chakra reserves to keep fighting for more than a minute."

Sakura eyes the sword with dread and suspicion. "Hurt the user? How badly?"

"Oh, only a prickle or two, nothing more," said Kakashi with a suspiciously cheerful voice, waving his hand dismissively. "A moderate burn if you screw up too badly. But I'm sure someone with such excellent chakra control will have no trouble keeping the sword under control."

Sakura took a deep breath and stepped towards the sword.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, maybe it's a good idea-" Kakashi began, only to stop as Sakura's hand wrapped around the sword's hilt.

The moment her fingers closed around the hilt of the sword, Sakura immediately let go of it and stumbled back drunkenly. She flailed around for a moment before her hands grasped her head and she fell on her knees, shivering.

"…to start by touching the sword with only a finger," finished Kakashi. "The chakra drain can pack quite a punch if you're not prepared for it."

Sakura raised her head just enough to glare venomously at him.

"_Thanks_," she hissed. "Good timing with your warning, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi simply eye-smiled in response.

"Anyway, " he said, clearing his throat. "I said I won't _quite_ be teaching you sword-fighting, but there is no use in clanking swords like idiots during our spars, no? The whole point of fighting with it is to practice chakra control while your mind is otherwise occupied, so that drawing and molding it will come to you instinctively. That's why you'll be using actual stances and moves during our spars, even if I don't really expect you to be able to effectively fight with a sword at the end of it. But hey, if you have some talent in it and are willing to spend a year or two under my tutelage, I can build up on those basics into something useable."

"I… I'd like that…" she said carefully, pressing her finger against the hilt of the sword and quickly withdrawing it. She stared at her finger and frowned.

"Don't worry," said Kakashi. "In a month or two you'll be able to hold it in both hands and still last whole minutes with it."

Sakura pressed her finger against the sword again and maintained contact for several seconds before relenting.

"I've got something else for you," Kakashi said, throwing a large rectangular packet at her. To his delight, she stood her ground and caught the packet in her hands instead of dodging in fear. She was too fearful toward anything even remotely threatening, and it wasn't a good attitude for a ninja.

Sakura tore open the side of the box and peered inside.

"Books?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," confirmed Kakashi. "Books about chakra theory, elemental manipulation, hand seals, chakra circulatory system, you name it. Technically, most of that information is freely available in the public library, but good luck finding the true gems among all the crap they hold there. That, my dear student, is my personal collection. I even took the trouble to write in a few remarks and underline the parts I consider particularly useful."

Sakura stared at the packet with unhidden glee. Kakashi didn't have to wonder why – pretty much everyone and their mother had told him that Sakura was very academically-minded and thrived on things like this. That was why he was giving it to her – that stuff was considered pretty advanced, but hell if it wasn't useful. Whether you were interested in creating your own technique or figuring out why you weren't going anywhere with an existing one, this collection was your best friend. If only one could summon the willpower to read through it, that is.

"Now go home and rest a bit," said Kakashi. "When you're feeling better, start messing with the sword again and see how far you can go by the time we start taking missions again."

His part done, Kakashi turned to leave.

"Wait!" Sakura called out. "How am I going to get the sword home if it drains me dry every time I touch it?"

Kakashi smiled at her. "You're a smart girl. You'll figure it out."

And then he disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

* * *

"So…" Anko said with a grin. "Based on the expression on your face, I'm guessing that following the brat around didn't work out for you?"

Kurenai shot her a glare as she slumped into the chair in front of her. After looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping – they were in a public bar, after all – she leaned forward towards Anko.

"How does he do that?" Kurenai asked with annoyance.

"Do what?" asked Anko innocently.

"Shrug off every genjutsu I put on him like it's a nuisance at best. I tried every trick I know – which is a lot, let me tell you – and he knows immediately that he's under a genjutsu anyway, and then breaks it like it was nothing. It doesn't matter how sensitive his hearing is – just because you know you're caught in a genjutsu doesn't mean you can break out of it. One of the illusions I put on him was a veritable labyrinth with 15 different layers and an ability to regenerate itself unless removed in a very particular way – and he broke free of it like he was walking through cobwebs or something."

Kurenai leaned back, trying to calm herself down. She knew that being specialized to the extent that she was left one severely disadvantaged against certain opponents, but this was ridiculous. She had illusions that could ensnare even a Hyuuga, yet she couldn't deal with a rookie genin? It was infuriating.

"What did _you_ find out, anyway?" asked Kurenai. Anko's expression soured quickly.

"The brat knows far more about sealing than is healthy. His apartment is riddled with those blasted things, so I couldn't really snoop around much. I probably wouldn't find out much from that place anyway, though – he keeps everything important to him in blood-seal protected storage scrolls that he carries with him at all times."

"Paranoid."

"Apparently the Hokage made a habit of using these kinds of methods of keeping tabs on the kid, and now the brat is extremely familiar with them," said Anko.

They both fell silent as a waitress came to take their orders. Kurenai used the brief reprieve to mull the mystery that was Naruto in her head. The boy was obviously hiding something. Something big. The problem was, he was not an enemy, and thus had to be handled with care.

"We need a way to get the answer from him face-to-face," said Kurenai after the waitress disappeared. "We're not going to find out enough from indirect methods before the deadline."

Anko's face grew serious and Kurenai felt bad for her friend. She personally thought Naruto was not a traitor and liked the kid, but she knew her feelings were only a fraction of Anko's. She had grown attached to the blond genin, and they both knew that a formal investigation would result in pretty harsh penalties for the blond. Even if whatever he was hiding was not dangerous, the mere fact that he was keeping it secret could be construed as treason.

"What about those brats you're leading?" asked Anko. "I thought they're good friends with Naruto?"

"Too good," said Kurenai. "They're censoring themselves when they report to me about him, no matter how much I repeat that I only want to help him."

Anko groaned.

"What then? Should I just strap him to a chair and-"

"No," said Kurenai forcefully. "That will put him on guard. Here's a better idea: we get into his good graces and ask politely."

"Lame," said Anko. "And I don't think it will work anyway. He's a pretty good judge of character, you know?"

"That's the beauty of it, though – we don't have to use any deception. You keep hanging out with him and amusing him with your crazy antics, and I'll organize combined exercises with Kakashi's team and invite him to train with my team more often."

Anko frowned before nodding her head in agreement.

"All right. It's not like I've got a better idea. But if we don't have anything substantial week before the deadline, we're going with my idea, ok?"

Kurenai nodded. The waitress returned with the drinks and she decided to shelve the discussion for the time being and drink her frustrations away.

* * *

Hesitantly, the puppet took a step forward. As if reassured by that small success, the puppet whirred to life, executing a complicated series of moves and contortions before finally relaxing. Calmly and confidently, it raised it's hands, releasing a burst of fire out of them.

Sasori nodded approvingly. Not bad, for a prototype.

After sifting through Kakuzu's memories and examining the remains of his 'hearts', Sasori was pretty sure he could replicate the feat. But where would be the art in that? He would create something new instead, integrating this idea into the second generation of his human puppets. Puppets with a degree of self-deliberation, able to use elemental techniques… the ability to survive the destruction of his heart-box… those things would be quite a boon to his art.

Of course, the rest of knowledge he gained from Kakuzu was almost as interesting. It seemed that Akatsuki really did think he was dead for good, and it would appear they never really put his information network back together after he left. And Kakuzu should now, since he was the one that took over Sasori's job. Sasori now finally had detailed knowledge of which parts of his information network Akatsuki knew about – this should make things _a lot_ easier. It also appeared that Akatsuki tracked Orochimaru's activities _very_ closely. They had organized several raids on his facilities and had a massive amount of information on his subordinates and capabilities, information that was very useful to him.

Overall, this operation was a fantastic success. Leader, though… well, the man had already made his displeasure known by leveling the Land of Waves to the ground. Hopefully Sasori would not be implicated in any of this – he had seen the results of Leader's wrath and he knew he could not defy that man's power.

Someone knocked on the door and Sasori stiffened as he listened to the pattern of knocks to determine the identity of the visitor. But it was only Kabuto. Wordlessly, Sasori unlocked the door and stepped out of the room, pushing past Kabuto who quickly got out of the way. He wasn't going to let anyone into his sanctuary if he could help it.

"What is it?"

"I have found out something very interesting about Naruto," said Kabuto.

"Go on," urged Sasori impatiently. He yearned to go back to his experiments. He was on the verge of a breakthrough, he was sure of it.

"Naruto has found a way to block Orochimaru's cursed seal."

Sasori was honestly surprised. "He succeeded where you've failed for nearly a year now?"

"Well…" tried Kabuto. "He has expertise in both medical techniques and sealing. He's uniquely suited for that particular task."

"Hmph. And I suppose you want him to help you figure it out?" asked Sasori rhetorically. "Well that's okay. It _is_ about time for you to get his medic training on the next level."

"But it will be very difficult to work with him without revealing ourselves."

"Well then," said Sasori after a short pause, "it seems its time for Naruto's teacher to be unmasked…"

"You will reveal yourself?" Kabuto sounded shocked.

"Of course not. He is at the phase where he needs to experiment with his art and see where his preferences lie, and my presence would only hinder that. Besides, there is only so much I can do to protect my secrets if I'm ever subject to Konoha's full scrutiny. My… unconventional nature… is easily detectable to certain sort ninja."

Kabuto was confused. "Then what-"

"He has more than one teacher, doesn't he?" tried Sasori again.

"…Me?" tried Kabuto.

"Who else?"

"Throwing away your most loyal follower like that…" said Kabuto with mock hurt in his voice. "You're so cruel Sasori-sama…"

"Stop that," said Sasori in annoyance. "Nothing will happen to you unless you've forgotten all of my lessons about being a spy. Besides, I'm not telling you to volunteer anything sensitive… Just be a lightning rod for any scrutiny the kid might face."

"Huu… you realize what this means, don't you?" asked Kabuto, suddenly serious. "I won't be able to contact you all that often with everyone's attention on me like that."

"It's fine," Sasori waved his hand dismissively. "I will be otherwise preoccupied for a while, anyway. Here."

Sasori handed Kabuto a stack of notebooks.

"The red ones are my notes on Kakuzu's memories – both his information on Orochimaru and the locations of my old sources that Akatsuki never found out about. The brown ones contain additional notes for Naruto. I trust you can operate alone for a month or two?"

Kabuto smiled sweetly. "Of course, Sasori-sama."

Sasori resisted the urge to roll his eyes in his sockets and went back to his room.

* * *

"Jirobo is dead."

Orochimaru gritted his teeth, struggling to keep his temper in check. He had too few followers now to simply kill them because he was in a bad mood. He especially had too few followers of Kidomaru's level of skill.

"What happened?" asked Orochimaru evenly, though he suspected he knew exactly what transpired.

The multi-armed kid shuffled in place nervously, as if waiting for a few seconds would improve Orochimaru's mood. Just as Orochimaru was about to prompt a response in a semi-violent manner, the girl beside him answered in his place.

"The ring-eyed freaks just barged into the base and started slaughtering everyone," said Tayuya. "Base 21 is no more, just like the previous two bases. The two of us are the only survivors."

Orochimaru leaned back in his throne and stared at the ceiling, silently fuming. This was all so ridiculous. It wasn't his fault that Akatsuki never pieced together Sasori's spy network after he died in that battle, so it was really quite unseemly that they were still hounding him over that silly little thing.

Then again, it was all very manageable so far – Akatsuki would destroy a minor facility of his, he would lay low for a while, and then the game would repeat itself. He and Kakuzu played a game of sort, neither willing to sacrifice much to hurt the other, battling primarily through subtle sabotage and spy conflicts. He was a bit pissed when Akatsuki took Jugo away from him and converted him on their side – how they managed to reel in his violent urges he would never know – but ultimately, he had already obtained what he needed from that mood-swinging maniac.

Now that Kakuzu had died, Leader apparently decided to take a more aggressive stance in order to cripple him as much as possible before his information on Orochimaru's bases and personnel became outdated.

Leader… he was such a mystery, even for Orochimaru. What was the nature of his powers? How did those ringed-eyed soldiers get back from the dead each time he killed one? The ringed-eyed monstrosities knew no fear and had an uncanny ability to detect traps and troop movements. They killed without mercy, not sparing anyone – not his ninja, not the non-combat personnel, and – unless they were useful to Akatsuki – not even the test subjects.

He needed the sharingan. Everything would be alright, if he could only acquire those amazing eyes that could see through every illusion and made the mechanics of all techniques plain to see. There was just one problem…

"Kimimaro. Kidomaru. Tayuya," said Orochimaru. "There is a change of plan regarding the upcoming invasion of Konoha. You won't be accompanying me when I confront the Hokage. You are needed elsewhere."

"Orochimaru-sama?" asked Kimimaro with concern.

"The Kyuubi jinchuuriki has become quite a problem. If he could kill Kakuzu, he will be quite a nuisance to deal with during the invasion. And besides, putting the Cursed Seal on Sasuke-kun might become a troublesome preposition if he releases his beast…"

"He will die at your command," said Kimimaro with confidence.

Orochimaru smiled. It truly was a pity that he could not take the boy as his next host, but such was life. At least he was dedicated to making himself useful in his final days.

"How the hell do we kill the container of the strongest of the tailed-beasts smack in the middle of the ninja village during full alert for suspicious activity?" asked Tayuya incredulously before shirking away from Kimimaro's murderous gaze.

Orochimaru checked. "Be nice, Kimimaro-kun, it's a good question. And the answer is simple: you will pose as chuunin hopefuls from the Sound village."

The three stared dumbfounded at their leader.

"You- you're going to have us pose as _genin_!?" asked Tayuya in a disbelieving shriek.

"No one will know any better," said Orochimaru calmly. "It will be a perfect opportunity to get close to your target. Just remember… though the child might not look like much, the power of the beast inside of him is vast. Do not underestimate him."

Orochimaru nodded to himself. With his elites after his head, the Kyuubi jinchuuriki was as good as dead – that would not only make his own task simpler, but it would also anger Leader something fierce. Considering that the man just declared a full-blown war against him, Orochimaru would not hesitate to hurt his plans.

"Now go and prepare," he said to his underlings. "I need to think."

* * *

Pein watched intently as holograms of all Akatsuki members gradually appeared on the fingers of the demonic statue. Once all images had sprung into existence, he locked eyes with Itachi and Kisame and began to speak.

"I'm moving forward with the plan," he stated.

"Finally!" said Kisame enthusiastically. "All this waiting and preparing was getting on my nerves. Should we go get the Kyuubi container now or what?"

"You will get him during the Chuunin Exams," said Pein tonelessly. "I have it on good information that they will be otherwise occupied during the event, giving you the perfect opportunity to retrieve him with minimal issues."

"I was under the impression that the Kyuubi must be sealed last," said Itachi with an equally apathetic tone, as if competing with Pein about which one of them cared the least about the discussion.

"We cannot afford to wait any longer," said Pein simply. "I have concluded that it was the Kyuubi jinchuuriki that destroyed Kakuzu. We cannot afford to let him grow stronger."

"Hoo, the kid has gotten that strong?" asked Kisame with amusement in his voice. "Well, so much better for me. I must admit I was worried the kid would be a joke to fight against."

Pein ignored him turning to look at two other members.

"Deidara, Jugo; you two will also go to Konoha during the Chuunin Exams. Your target is the container of the Ichibi. He has reputation for being strong, but I expect no problems on your end. Questions?"

"Yeah," said Deidara. "You sure this psycho won't flip out on me in the middle of the battle? I can blow him up if he does, yeah?"

Pein let the question hang in the silence for a few seconds before answering.

"I assure you that Jugo's unstable tendencies have been taken care of. He is dedicated to our goals as much as anyone," concluded Pein.

"Leader-sama has saved me from my inner demon," said Jugo reverently. "I will follow his decrees to the death."

"Why did I have to get stuck for a fanatical maniac?" grumbled Deidara. "He has no appreciation for art whatsoever!"

"Any _relevant_ questions?" asked Pein dangerously.

"Uh, no," answered Deidara quickly. "We'll get the sand kid for you, yeah?"

Nothing left to be said, the images of Akatsuki members flickered out of existence, until only the image of Pein was left, staring lifelessly in the distance.


	11. Two of a Kind

I have found a new beta but this particular chapter hasn't been proofread. It will be updated with proper spelling in a week or so, so grammatically sensitive people should wait until then. Previous two chapters have been updated with proofread ones.

Now on to the story.

* * *

Team 7's 'vacation' was anything but relaxing for Naruto. People of Konoha have gotten into their heads that the destruction of the Land of the Waves was Naruto's doing, and he couldn't step out of the apartment without hearing various paranoid mutterings. In all fairness, it wasn't exactly a coincidence that Akatsuki destroyed the country right after he left, but he could hardly be faulted for that. He was only defending himself!

Aggravated and more than a little worried for his safety, Naruto sat down one day and designed the most powerful and sophisticated sensor seal he could, putting it on the back of his hitai-ate. It was so powerful that not even Naruto had enough chakra at any one time to compress it. Instead he had to make three separate chakra storage seals, each one capable of holding roughly 75% of his maximum chakra reserves, and used those as raw components when compressing the array.

The situational awareness it afforded him was downright obscene… so obscene that he blacked out the first time he put on the hitai-ate at his forehead. In retrospect, putting the seal on when he was still in Konoha proper, surrounded by thousands of people – many of them ninja – was kind of unwise. It took him a week to get used to it somewhat, this time in an abandoned training ground, and he actually had to lock away some of the functionality for the time being, lest he inflict permanent brain damage on himself. Still, even a diminished seal turned him into a chakra sensor, increased his already impressive chakra control, and initial testing on captured animals showed his medical techniques were twice as potent as before. He really should have done this ages ago.

Once again he had to thank Kyuubi for his massive chakra reserves and increased chakra regeneration. The design of the sensor seal wasn't all that ingenious, but the number of people who had the chakra reserves to compress a seal like that was small. Even if they tried the same trick he did, of using chakra storage seals as an intermediate step, they would find it a to be a lengthy process without the Kyuubi-supplied ability to replenish their chakra in full over the course of a single night.

This sort of thing was why he always felt bad when his friends praised him for his 'sealing ability'. In the world or ordinary ninja, the really tricky part of sealing wasn't figuring out a way to do something with seals – it was figuring out how to do it in an economical way, such that you actually have enough chakra to compress the array. Seal masters used all sorts of clever little tricks and ingenious workarounds to cut down on the chakra usage and make something a real person could actually make without killing themselves. But not Naruto – he just made the simplest, most straightforward design he could think of. His chakra reserves were almost always enough.

But there were things that couldn't be solved through brute force. Naruto's sealing experiments were something that he had no manual for, and thus required careful thought… and therefore time. Naruto didn't have time – Akatsuki's latest excursion against him proved that in spades. He needed to get a lot stronger, fast. And as far as he could see, sealing and puppeteering were his best bet, if only he could find the time to properly design his next batch of puppets and sealing items…

Thinking these kind of thoughts, Naruto slipped into uneasy sleep, only to wake up staring into the face of Kyuubi no Kitsune glaring at him through the bars of its cage.

"Why have you brought me here?" Naruto asked curiously. The fox never really did this ever since aftermath of his fight with Mizuki.

"**You said you needed more time,"** rumbled the giant fox, pacing behind its cage. **"So here you are."**

Naruto raised his eyebrow in a silent question, failing to see how being brought here helped him any.

"**Honestly, monkey-boy, just when I think you can't possibly get any more oblivious,"** Kyuubi growled. **"Did you honestly not notice that no time passed in the real world while you spoke to me last time?"**

Naruto's eyes widened at the implications.

"No, I must admit I hadn't," said Naruto carefully. "I was unconscious at the time, a concept that the bijuu are probably unfamiliar with."

"**You little gnats have so many limitations it's hard to keep track of them all,"** Kyuubi scoffed.

"Right," said Naruto, refusing the take the bait. The last time he got in the discussion with the Kyuubi about the merits of humanity he had found that the fox was a bottomless well of scorn and arrogance where humans are concerned, and trying to convince it otherwise was like trying to talk to a brick wall. "So let's see if I got this correctly: I could spend as long as I wish here and no time at all will pass in the outside world?"

"**Not as long as you like,"** Kyuubi said with a mocking grin. **"As you've so diligently reminded me, you monkey people need to rest your feeble little minds from time to time. You will need to return to your body to sleep at regular intervals. But as long as you don't mind sleeping all day long in the real world, you may cram as much as 3 to 4 days worth of experiences in an every single day."**

Naruto thought about it. While he didn't really intend to do go that far – his muscles would atrophy if he slept all day long – fitting in an extra 12-16 hours a day should be easily doable.

"So what exactly can I do here?" asked Naruto. "If I practiced a technique or two, would this translate into the outside world?"

"**Of course not,"** stated Kyuubi. **"This is place is your mindscape.** **You body – and indeed, anything present here – is but a figment of your imagination. Things happen here according to your whim, regardless of your actual capabilities. All you can do here is think… but if you had any creativity at all in that thick skull of yours, you'd realize this was already a major boon. But I suppose that's too much to expect from a kid whose imagination turned his mind into a fucking sewer…"**

Ignoring the fox's jabs, Naruto frowned and concentrated. A giant scroll popped into existence in front of him, hovering in the air. Unrolling it and staring at its blank surface, Naruto traced a finger across the paper, causing lines and symbols to appear, just as if he had been using a brush.

"Wow," he breathed out.

"**You don't really need to write with your fingers, **_**stupid**_**,"** complained the fox. **"Just will it and it will happen."**

Naruto glanced at the fox in acknowledgement before stepping back and thinking of a simple sealing array. Symbols exploded across the paper, arranging themselves into a proper pattern. Adjusting the array was as simple as thinking about the desired changes.

Naruto laughed quietly, his mirth resonating across the near-empty hall – this was perfect! He could spend hours in this place, designing seals and puppets, surfacing occasionally to try them out in the outside world.

He yawned and felt his connection to this place waver. Shaking his head, he turned around and walked out of the hall, not even bothering to say goodbye to the fox. This was amazing and everything, but he had been trying to sleep for a reason – he was tired.

He had plenty of time later, after all.

* * *

The additional time granted to Naruto due to Shiki Fuujin turned out to be very fortunate, because soon after his talk with the Kyuubi, Kabuto came out of hiding to help him hone his medic-nin skills. Surprisingly, Kabuto insisted they make no effort in hiding their meetings. Apparently he was ready to meet with the Hokage when the ageing Hokage finally takes notice of his sessions with Naruto, and claimed caution would only slow down their work.

Kabuto didn't actually teach him any new techniques. Instead his sessions consisted either of taijutsu spars, where Kabuto tried to teach him how to use his medical knowledge in close-quarters combat, or with Naruto following Kabuto around during his hospital rounds as his assistant. This definitely raised some eyebrows, but Naruto was pleasantly surprised by the patients and staff in the hospital – once Naruto demonstrated his skills as a medic-nin, he was accepted fairly quickly. There _were_ a few individuals that absolutely refused to be treated by Naruto, but it was far better than Naruto thought. Apparently there was a considerable shortage of medic-nins, and beggars can't be choosers.

The grey-haired medic also brought him a couple of notebooks from Sasori… all of which were coded into incomprehensibility. It took Naruto 2 (boring) days to translate them into readable text, but his anger at Sasori immediately disappeared when he saw what they contained. Techniques!

That bastard! He told Naruto he doesn't know any ninjutsu! Though in retrospect, Naruto had to admit he was a dumbass to believe him… how exactly does one get to be as powerful as Sasori without ever learning a single technique? And in Sasori's defense, these techniques were really only useful to puppeteers.

All in all there was 15 techniques hidden in those notes. The first three were meant as help when creating puppet parts from raw materials, using wind chakra to cut and shear pieces of wood into required shapes, and these were possibly the most useful for Naruto, as he could now finally make new puppets without relying on Sasori for parts. It was a pity that these wind techniques required lots of concentration to use because, judging by the ease with which they cut through wood, they would be very useful in combat. The rest of the techniques did a multitude of nifty things, such as allowing the puppeteer to see through his puppet's eyes or pulling a broken puppet together again. All of these techniques required the puppet specifically made with them in mind, but fortunately Sasori's notes included the necessary information for this as well.

But as excited as he was with his new capabilities as a puppeteer, he didn't neglect his medic-nin skills, not the least because Kabuto didn't take kindly to being ignored. At the moment he was waiting for Kabuto to meet him at their standard meeting spot, and he was engrossed in a subject that captured his attention lately.

Without so much as a blink, Naruto slashed the kunai across his arm, creating a deep cut that immediately began gushing blood. Then, he reached deep into the core of his being, ignoring the shudder of anticipation from his own chakra, and pulled on the seal that bind the Kyuubi in him. The Kyuubi relinquished a clump of chakra for his use readily – actually, the real challenge was convincing the fox that he wanted just a clump, not a whole tail's worth – and Naruto guided the foreign chakra into the tissue surrounding the wound.

He watched in fascination as the wound stitched itself up in seconds. The ability to Kyuubi's chakra to repair tissue was amazing. It wasn't just a matter of pouring massive amounts of chakra into the afflicted area, because even a minute amount of Kyuubi's chakra could heal 100 times more effectively than he could with his medical skills. If he could understand enough of the process to copy the youki's healing effects with his medical techniques…

The fox scoffed in the back of his mind. Kyuubi was stubbornly trying to convince him to get accustomed to drawing his tainted chakra, but Naruto had no intention of doing that. Kyuubi's youki did more than heal him – it affected his mind, making him rash and aggressive. His fighting style didn't mesh well with the berserker tactics that came with the use of demonic chakra, and the foreign chakra swimming in his chakra coils messed up his control for days afterwards. Plus, he couldn't shake the feeling that intensive usage of that stuff had some nasty long-term consequence. Call it an intuition.

So usage of Kyuubi's chakra in regular combat was out of the question. But figuring out how it works in order to develop a safer alternative with less side effects, however water down it may be, was a-okay in Naruto's book. He was just about to make another gash in his arm when Kabuto's voice stopped him.

"Now, now, Naruto-kun…" Kabuto said with way too much amusement. "No matter what happened, there are better ways to deal with it than by cutting yourself. Why don't you put the knife down and tell uncle Kabuto what's bothering you?"

Naruto rolled his eyes at the comment. "Shut up, Kabuto. If you must know, I'm trying to copy Kyuubi's regenerative abilities with medical chakra."

Kabuto looked at him curiously. "Really?"

Naruto took Kabuto's expression as an invitation to explain.

"Human body resists against an intrusion of unknown chakra into itself, right?" asked Naruto. Kabuto nodded. "That's why medic-nins have to exert so much effort to convert their chakra into medical chakra that can penetrate the target's system more easily," continued Naruto. "But even medical chakra wastes a lot of it's power trying to overcome the body's defenses, to mention nothing of the loss during conversion of regular chakra into medical one. So why exactly are medic-nins using techniques and medical chakra to heal our own wounds? There has to be a better way! I mean, all the medical textbooks state that the bigger chakra reserves a person has, the faster they heal, so obviously the body already has some mechanism for using chakra reserves to accelerate healing. Why not take advantage of that? The Kyuubi's chakra proves that it's possible, and I'm going to find out how."

Kabuto smiled. "You do realize most people use a fully manned and stocked research facility to research a topic like that?"

"Yeah, well, most people aren't the Kyuubi jinchuuriki," said Naruto dismissively.

And most people didn't have the byakugan-derived diagnostic techniques like the ones he developed with Hinata. Even if Naruto couldn't see other's people's chakra coils, he _could_ sense his own. And if he was allowed to seep in medical chakra into someone, he could somewhat sense their chakra circulatory system as well. Especially now that he had his sensor seal. He wasn't going to tell this to Kabuto, though – while the grey-haired medic-nin was reliable, the less people know about that the better. Hinata would be subject to stiff penalties from her clan if they somehow found out she helped Naruto develop those techniques, regardless whether it was technically allowed or not.

Kabuto grinned. "Tell you what, Naruto-kun – I was looking for another challenge to tackle anyway. I'll lend you another pair of hands and eyes, and maybe we can solve that little mystery together, hm? Who knows, maybe we can discover how to duplicate other properties of the Kyuubi's chakra, like enhanced strength. Tsunade already proved it was possible."

"Sure!" grinned Naruto. He had heard a lot about Tsunade's technique, and being able to snap a tree with a finger flick sounded hell awesome. "No problems with me."

"Oh good," said Kabuto. "You know, I'm glad that we can finally work together, Naruto-kun. Being all alone in this laboratory with nothing but dead bodies for company… it can get rather _lonely_."

Naruto's smile twisted itself into a sour expression. He tried not to think what Kabuto might be implying. More than likely, it was just a ploy to get a rise out of him. He was like Anko that way.

May the heavens have mercy on them all should those two ever meet.

"So what are we going to do now?" asked Naruto. "You seem far too happy for this to be a normal training session."

"Heh," said Kabuto. "You're quite right, Naruto-kun. Today, we're going to fight."

Naruto frowned. "You mean spar?"

"No, no…" Kabuto insisted. "Fight. Like you did with Anko and Sasori-sama a while back. Anything is allowed."

Naruto chuckled uneasily. "Kabuto, I'm not sure you want to do that. I don't mean to belittle your skills, but I can be pretty nasty when I fight. I've been told I'm pretty scary when I set myself loose."

Only Naruto's extensive experience in evading Anko's and Sasori's surprise attacks allowed Naruto to jump back and avoid a blindingly fast attack Kabuto tried to execute on him. He stumbled back in shock and glared at the grey-haired man.

"What the fuck, Kabuto!?" Naruto protested. "You… you could have…"

Naruto stopped talking and grimaced. Kabuto knew exactly what he was doing. He tried to slice his carotid arteries with chakra scalpels – not an immediately lethal move, but one that would quickly end his life if not healed with outmost haste.

"What a coincidence," said Kabuto with a mad gleam in his eyes. "I'm _also_ told that I'm pretty scary when I set myself loose. Playtime is over, Naruto-kun. Show me what you've got"

And with that, Kabuto lunged forward, his hands glowing with an eerie blue light.

Annoyed and eager to teach Kabuto a lesson, Naruto pressed his hands into a single hand-seal, activating his 'clone: superimposition' technique. Unfortunately for him, it turned out Kabuto knew more than just medical techniques. The moment he saw Naruto bring his hands into he clone seal he flipped through a handful of seals with blinding speed, sending a bolt of electricity straight into Naruto's chest.

It was a weak technique, and did very little damage, but Naruto's concentration was ruined as his muscles momentarily spasmed. His technique failed, and he moved too slow to evade Kabuto's follow-up attack with sliced the tendons in his right arm.

Fuck.

Still, Naruto had a few surprises of his own. As Kabuto was about to withdraw his hand after the successful attack, the bandages on Naruto's arm lashed out and wrapped around the offending limb. Were a byakugan user around, they would have seen the faint chakra strings that controlled the bandages, but no such people were present. Naruto swung his hand like a flail, throwing Kabuto into the ground.

Or would have, if Kabuto hadn't oriented himself perfectly for the fall and lashed out at Naruto the moment he hit the ground.

His hand still caught in the bandages, Kabuto struck at Naruto with his foot, aiming to knock the air out of his lungs. Naruto simply used his other hand to block, the bandages on that arm unfurled into a shield of sorts.

That's when Naruto noticed the little telltale signs of a lightning technique about to fire and immediately leg go of Kabuto. Suddenly freed, Kabuto stumbled back, overshooting. A bolt of electricity, stronger than before, flew above Naruto's shoulder, a few stray arcs sending jolts of pain across Naruto's face.

With one of his arms ruined and no time to heal it, Naruto knew he didn't stand a chance against Kabuto. Well… he didn't stand a chance one way or another, really. He supposed he was an idiot to believe someone who hangs around Sasori was a pushover, but there was just no indication that Kabuto was anything other than a rather creepy medic-nin. Seeing him fight, though, Naruto could tell that he was strong enough to give Kakashi a run for his money. That initial strike that ruined his arm could have easily been a killing blow and, though his movements were very fluid, he could tell that the man wasn't using all the advantages his adult body provided him against Naruto.

But Naruto was never the one to quit just because he was faced with a superior opponent. He stood motionless as Kabuto lunged at him again, hiding his hand behind his back so Kabuto would not see his fingers twitching.

A couple of birds that have been watching the battle with a curious amount of intensity suddenly rose into the air before diving straight at Kabuto. By the time Kabuto noticed them, it was too late – he tried to dodge but they followed, an array of seals inscribed over their bodies beginning to glow. Naruto guided them into spots that he judged to be incapacitating but not lethal and, with a final pull of the chakra strings, made the birds explode.

"_Suicide Zombie Birds_ is a nice name for that technique, I think…" mumbled Naruto.

Birds weren't the only animals whose corpses Naruto turned into puppets of sorts, but they were the most useful ones, due to their ability to fly – he could use they as spies by looking through their eyes, or as weapons by making them explode at his command. The really useful thing about them was that they weren't really puppets in the classical sense, in that they required only general instructions through the chakra strings. Much of what they did was autonomous, even if they lacked initiative to do anything in the absence of his orders.

Amazingly, Kabuto was still standing when the smoke cleared. Large portions of his shirt was missing, and there was a nasty burn on his stomach, but the man was still standing. In fact, he seemed to be getting better each second. It was as if his wounds were… mending themselves… right before his eyes.

"W-What?" blurted out Naruto. "Kabuto, are you… How do you do that!?"

"That was a neat trick, Naruto-kun," said Kabuto with a ragged voice, ignoring the question. "I guess I underestimated you somewhat. Why don't you heal your arm so we can start over, hm?"

Naruto was about to answer when a dozen or so chakra signatures entered his sphere of awareness.

"Someone is coming," said Naruto. "Someone strong. I think it's the Old Man, plus a few escorts."

Kabuto straightened himself immediately. "Ho, so they finally noticed our meetings, did they? Took them long enough."

Naruto nodded. Considering how blatant Kabuto was about introducing him to various hospital personnel, he had expected the Old Man to haul both of them into his office within a day or two at most.

"He's probably been discreetly gathering information on you all this time and is now ready to act," said Naruto.

"Probably," agreed Kabuto.

"Are you going to be alright?" asked Naruto worriedly. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Don't worry Naruto, I _am_ a spy by profession," said Kabuto, adjusting his glasses. His wounds were all but gone by now and the only sign of his injury was the ruined shirt that still hanged off his shoulders.

"Hush," said Naruto. "They'll be here any second now."

Amusingly, though their visitors had rushed towards them with obvious haste, they stopped in their tracks some distance away and split up. The strongest chakra signature, which Naruto assumed was Old Man started walking towards them at a leisurely pace, while the others dispersed throughout the training ground, probably intending to 'stay hidden'.

Damn, the sensor seal was awesome.

"Old Man, nice of you to drop by!" shouted Naruto the moment the old Hokage stepped into the clearing, probably ruining his dramatic entrance. "Did you come to see me kick Kabuto's ass?"

"Well…" the Old Man tried, clearly unnerved by the fact that Naruto and Kabuto were aware that he was coming. "I had heard that Naruto found himself a new teacher and I figured it wouldn't hurt to meet him. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Oh no, we were just finished practicing," said Kabuto with a pleasant smile. "And I wouldn't exactly call myself 'new'. I have been Naruto's mentor for over a year, now."

Naruto resisted the urge to laugh at Old Man's shocked expression. Not that it was easy to notice the shock on the old Hokage's stoic face, but Naruto knew him too well to miss it. The aging leader, however, quickly regained his composure and took a good hard took at Kabuto.

"Must have been one hell of a practice," Old Man remarked, looking curiously at Kabuto's ruined shirt.

"I'm afraid Naruto is quite fond of explosives," said Kabuto in an apologetic tone. "It makes it difficult to survive these practice sessions without consequences."

"Indeed," the Hokage agreed suspiciously. "Kabuto-san, if you're not doing anything important, could you accompany me to my office? I would like to discuss things with you."

"Of course, Hokage-sama," said Kabuto in a mildly confused tone, waving his goodbyes to Naruto and following after the aging leader.

Naruto snorted softly. If he didn't know any better, he would have honestly thought that Kabuto had no idea what the Old Man wanted to talk to him about. He was one hell of an actor, that's for sure.

With a heavy sigh, he sat down on the grass. He didn't feel like doing anything today after this, especially since one of the Old Man's escorts remained behind to monitor him. Everything was so confusing lately. Sasori and Kabuto weren't enemies of Konoha, but he knew there was no chance in hell he could convince the Hokage of that. So he kept it a secret all this time, and now his entire life was just one big lie. There was no one who knew everything important about him – not the Hokage, not his team, not his friends. Not even Sasori. Is he going to hide those things forever? Surely he couldn't, if he _really_ wanted to become Hokage. And if the whole thing gets discovered one of his days, which side would he chose?

He had a distinct sense he wouldn't like the answer to that.

Sensing a familiar chakra signature approaching and then stopping in the trees to observe him, Naruto rose up from the ground and dusted himself off.

"What's with everyone wanting to see me today?" mumbled Naruto to himself. He cleared his throat before speaking loud enough for the newcomer to hear him. "All right, you can come out now if you want to talk to me."

Naruto waited for a few seconds, noticing with amusement that _both_ chakra signatures around him shifted uncomfortably.

"Not you, ANBU-san," chuckled Naruto, waving in the direction of the escort left behind by the Old Man. He pointed towards the newcomer on the opposite end of the small clearing. "I'm talking about Sakura of course."

There was several more moments of silence before Sakura jumped down from her tree. Naruto felt the ANBU withdraw deeper into the trees but not leaving completely, probably thinking he was out of range of Naruto's senses. Heh.

"So," asked Naruto as Sakura approached. "What can I do for you, oh dearest teammate?"

Sakura looked uncomfortable and took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'd like to ask you for help with my training, Naruto," she said.

Naruto stared incredulously. Did Sakura just ask _him_ for help?

"Wow," said Naruto, rubbing his chin. "You're asking someone other than Sasuke for help? Forgive me, I need to sit down for a moment…"

"Naruto, _please_!" she pleaded, another first as far as Naruto was concerned. "I'm really serious! I'm trying to make up for lost time but it's not going fast enough. I'll never catch up to you two at this rate."

"Sakura, it's only been two weeks since we returned from Wave," pointed out Naruto. "What did you really expect from mere two weeks of training?"

"Less than that, actually," admitted Sakura. "But I can already tell it's going take me forever to get anywhere at this rate."

"And you think I can help you advance faster?" asked Naruto skeptically.

"Yes," she said firmly, but something about her voice make alarm bells ring in Naruto's head.

"How?" he demanded.

"W-Well…" she began, twirling her fingers and refusing to look him in the eye. It reminded him of Hinata somewhat. "Kakashi-sensei gave me these texts on chakra control, and there was a mention of this technique…"

"Yeeeees?" prompted Naruto.

"It allows the user to… absorb another's chakra."

"Ah," said Naruto in understanding. He was curious how the girl managed to procure the technique, but he supposed everyone was entitled to their little secrets. "Let me get this straight… you want me to hang around you while you train so you can drain my chakra every once in a while and thus continue training for longer?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Plus heal me if I go overboard. I twisted my ankle 4 days ago and it took two days for an actual medic-nin to go down his waiting list and have it healed. Little injuries like that aren't a priority to the hospital, and it turns out medic-nins like you are pretty scarce."

"Yeah, go figure," said Naruto. "Look Sakura, I'm not really opposed to this _in principle_. Kami knows I have no shortage of chakra. But really, following you around for hours on end and serving as a living chakra battery is so boring and bothersome. Why exactly would I agree to something like that?"

Sakura took a deep breath, clearly having expected something like this.

"Remember Zabuza and his assistant?" she asked.

"Don't remind me," said Naruto, a sour expression on his face. "What about them?"

"Well, Sasuke fought against that Haku person when we were… rescuing you. Anyway, he copied the 'hidden mist' technique from him with his sharingan. I got him to teach it to me. If you agree to help me, I will teach you the technique."

Naruto eyed her incredulously. "You got Sasuke to teach you a technique?"

"Yeah."

"How the hell did you do that?" asked Naruto, honestly curious.

"I… promised I'll stop asking him out for a month if he does," said Sakura with a blush.

Naruto stared at her, stupefied. Was this… was this really Sakura? Damn.

"Well…" said Naruto carefully. "I guess that technique will be enough to pay for a month of being used as a living battery/band-aid combo. We'll see where we go from there."

"Great!" Sakura said, cheering up suddenly. "Come at training ground 7 at 8:00 tomorrow. Don't be late like Kakashi!"

And then she skipped away, disappeared into the trees. Naruto snorted lightly and shook his head. It was times like these that reminded him why he used to like Sakura so much before… before Sasori.

For good or bad, everything changed with Sasori.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan," he mumbled to the wind. "I hate making people wait."

* * *

"Is there something wrong, Hokage-sama?"

Sarutobi studied the face of the grey-haired man sitting in his office. Yakushi Kabuto seemed moderately nervous – not an unusual reaction o being suddenly escorted into Hokage's office with no explanation – but didn't seem to be feeling guilty about anything. If anything he seemed honestly puzzled as to the reason of his questioning.

Sarutobi didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. When he found out about Kabuto he thought that Naruto had finally gotten careless, but Kabuto's record was spotless. He had been in Konoha for years before Naruto's sudden shift in personality and abilities, had no obvious connections to other villages, and was generally described as a pleasant (if withdrawn) person by those who knew him.

The man was technically still a genin, but every evaluator remarked that Kabuto was a solid Chuunin is terms of actual capability – it was the right mindset that he lacked. The man simply lacked the determination and aggressiveness that a Chuunin was supposed to have. Quite frankly, Sarutobi intended to simply promote him to Chuunin by fiat after the upcoming Chuunin exams, regardless of how he did – they needed medics of Kabuto's skill out in the field, doing more than simple C-ranks, and having him bumble through yet another Chuunin exam only to quit at the very end would just hurt Konoha's reputation. Kami knows plenty of ninjas have become Chuunin on far shakier grounds.

"I was hoping to get that answer from, Kabuto-san," said Sarutobi carefully. "I must admit I was surprised to find out about your lessons with Uzumaki Naruto. He and I are very close, and he never mentioned you."

Kabuto seemed taken aback at this. "I… didn't know I wasn't supposed to teach him. I thought that teaching medical techniques was exempt from standard bans against teaching genin."

Sarutobi was somewhat surprised Kabuto even knew about that. The law, while full of blanket statements, only really concerned itself with those of Chuunin and above in actual practice. The assumption was that a genin doesn't know anything truly dangerous or sensitive, and doesn't have the time or experience to teach things anyway. It was only once they reached higher ranks that ninja were made aware of various restrictions they need to follow when teaching people techniques.

"It is," agreed Sarutobi. "We have a shortage of medic-nins as it is. But it seems to me you didn't just teach him medical techniques."

Sarutobi glanced at Kabuto's ruined shirt and the man had the decency to look flustered. Kabuto gave him a nervous laugh and tried to explain.

"That wasn't part of the training, actually," said Kabuto. "I was just trying to teach Naruto how to use medical techniques in the middle of a combat situation. Unfortunately, Naruto tends to be very… destructive… when fighting. Personally, I'd prefer if he didn't use explosives. They sort of defeat the purpose of the exercise."

"You could always just disallow it," remarked Sarutobi.

"Ah, well…" said Kabuto. "I've been told I need to be more aggressive, so… If I can't even handle a particularly vicious genin, what chance do I have of finally passing my next Chuunin exams?"

"Hmm," said Sarutobi thoughtfully. "Do you mind if I ask some questions about your training with Naruto?"

"Not at all," agreed Kabuto quickly. "What do you want to know?"

"Well for a start, why don't you tell me how you and Naruto met?" Sarutobi tried, smiling good-naturely. He noted with satisfaction that Kabuto's anxiety seemed to disappear in an instant.

That is, of course it did. It was 'the smile', and Sarutobi spend several years getting it right. It _always_ worked.

Kabuto cleared his throat. "Well… it was more than a year ago, I think. I don't remember the exact date. He was still an academy student back then, and he came to me complaining about his poor chakra control. He told me he'd heard medic-nins have to practice their chakra control intensively, and wondered if I could help him improve his own, the standard leaf exercise not having appreciable effect apparently. I…"

Kabuto paused for a moment, frowning. Years of experience told Sarutobi that the medic was about to frame something in a more favorable light through careful language. Fortunately, unweaving the web of bullshit most ninja liked to spin around their actions was one of Sarutobi's specialties.

"I was skeptical about his resolve because of the things I… overheard… about him. He had a bit of a reputation, and not in a good way. Nonetheless, I wasn't ready to just dismiss him out of hand. Too few ninja are interested in my line of work, and I figured couldn't afford to be too picky. Still, I wasn't ready to make too much personal commitment into his case so I settled for giving him a scroll full of medic-nin chakra control exercises," said Kabuto, before adding quickly. "There was nothing really sensitive there, mind you, but it wasn't something that most genin, or even higher ranks learn. They don't need to, and it takes years to go through them. I said so to the boy, but he insisted he would have them all mastered before he graduates from the academy. It was… quite an ambitious proclamation."

Sarutobi smiled. That sounded like Naruto alright.

"I was skeptical, but I didn't discourage him," said Kabuto, already earning a few points in the Hokage's book. "I figured that even trying would be a learning experience. I didn't really think he would go far, but he soon proved me wrong. Naruto is… an exceptionally tenacious individual. He worked very hard on mastering those exercises, even after his original goal of mastering the clone technique was achieved. I was so impressed, in fact, that I offered to train him in the arts of the medic-nin."

"And he agreed?" asked the Hokage.

"Oh, yes," agreed Kabuto enthusiastically. "Very few people seemed willing to give him the time of day. I got the notion that he didn't have much to occupy his time with, aside from planning pranks and training. And since I was the only one who offered to train him in anything substantial… well, we all take the chances we're given."

Sarutobi couldn't help but feel a little guilty hearing things like that. He could have probably arranged for the boy to be taught some basics to occupy his time with, so he wouldn't feel the need to seek aid from total strangers. Kabuto seemed nice, but Sarutobi didn't feel comfortable leaving Naruto's education in the hands of someone who wasn't extensively vetted and approved before hand. The fact that Kabuto had a whole year of unsupervised contact with the blond didn't sit well with Sarutobi, and since Naruto knew far more than medical techniques, it was safe to say that Kabuto wasn't the only secret teacher Naruto found.

How could he have missed something that big? He should have checked on Naruto more often, but he was so _busy_ and when Naruto stopped being a problem… he just sort of faded through the cracks of his immediate attention.

"You must be quite a teacher to get Naruto interested in something as demanding as medical techniques, Kabuto-san," said the Hokage.

"Well, no," countered Kabuto. "Like I said, he seem to feel I was the only chance to learn something. He had this strange idea that even when he graduates, his Jounin-sensei will refuse to teach him anything. Like the village conspired to keep him away from anything even remotely dangerous, I don't know. Quite paranoid for an academy student, but then again we all have our little quirks."

Sarutobi struggled to keep a straight face. Because it was absolutely correct that Kakashi was instructed not to teach Naruto (or Sasuke for that matter) anything that could be considered a security threat. Sarutobi relaxed this rule somewhat in the light of Wave mission debacle, but the fact remains that the village _did_ conspire to keep Naruto away from anything dangerous. Naruto's 'paranoia' was simply him knowing the truth.

And he knew this a year before the formation of the actual teams. At that point in time, the number of people who knew he planned to place those restriction on Naruto's Jounin instructor could be counted on the fingers of a single hand. Either Naruto's mysterious sources had wormed into the very core of Konoha…

…or Sarutobi was far more predictable than he would have liked.

He didn't know which option was worse.

"Hokage-sama?" asked Kabuto, breaking Sarutobi out of his thought. "I… should I stop training Naruto? I wasn't-"

Sarutobi shook his head. "There is no need for rash action, Kabuto-san," said Sarutobi. "I am a bit tired today, so we'll continued this conversation some other time, but I'd like you to continue your sessions with Naruto. I will require that you submit weekly reports on his progress however."

"Of course," agreed Kabuto happily.

Sarutobi sighed heavily and waved the grey-haired medic away. He had to think about this long and hard – the situation was clearly more delicate than he suspected and had to be handled with care. While he had already given Anko and Kurenai a mission, he figured it didn't hurt to tackle the problem from several direction.

"Yamato," Sarutobi said seemingly to no one. "Sent someone to look for Jiraya and tell him to drag his sorry ass back to Konoha _now_. No excuses."

"Of course, Hokage-sama," a voice said, a shadow appearing for a moment, only to disappear just as quickly.

* * *

Kakashi observed his charges with a small amount of pride. Since team 7 was back to active duty, Kakashi decided to see how far they've come by teaching them the earth clone technique. Earth clones were fairly tough as clones go, and could be made even tougher by pouring additional chakra into them, but they were rather chakra intensive. It was a good technique for Naruto, and a good way to judge Sasuke and Sakura's chakra reserves and training focus. A bit too ambitious, perhaps, but he knew for a fact that none of the three spent their vacation resting.

To his surprise, all three of them mastered the technique that very same day – Sasuke by simply copying it with his sharingan, Naruto through his superior chakra control, and Sakura by absorbing Naruto's chakra to keep going until she got the hang of it. Kakashi had at least expected Sakura to take a week or so, what with her small chakra reserves, but apparently she was quite ingenious when she sets her mind on something. It took quite a lot of skill to reverse engineer a technique just through a description of how it works.

The curious thing was that Naruto was still practicing the technique. Sasuke and Sakura were resting on the ground, drained mentally and physically, but Naruto was still creating and dispelling clones. Kakashi didn't understand what the blond was trying to do, but he was very focused on his task.

"Naruto, are you okay?"

Naruto stopped in the middle of the seal sequence at the words and shook his head, as if waking up from a dream. He look turned around to face Kakashi.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Kakashi stared at him with a blank expression for a few seconds, studying him.

"You looked quite engrossed over there," Kakashi said. "I must admit I'm at loss as to what you're trying to do. It seems to me you've mastered that technique hours ago."

"There is something wrong with it," said Naruto. "My chakra control is amazing, but I _still_ have trouble controlling the technique. That shouldn't be happening."

"Ah," said Kakashi in understanding. "That's because it's an elemental technique, of course. Once you convert your body chakra into earth chakra, the technique's effectiveness no longer depends just on your chakra control, but on your earth manipulation as well. And since this is the first time you've performed an earth manipulation, that skill is entirely absent in you."

"Huh," said Naruto. "And it's going to be this way for each of five elements?"

"Afraid so," said Kakashi. "That's why most ninja prefer to limit themselves to a single element. Becoming proficient in all 5 elements is hard. But I believe in flexibility, so I'll teach you a little bit from everything. I still haven't gotten the chakra paper I need to test your affinities, but-"

"Wind," interrupted Naruto.

"Hm?" asked Kakashi.

"I'm wind-natured," said Naruto.

Kakashi looked at him curiously. "How do you know that?"

Naruto reached into his pocket and took out a square piece of paper that had a circular seal painted on it. The seal had 5 smaller circles embedded in it, each circle containing a character for one of the elements. Naruto shoved the paper into Kakashi's face, channeling chakra into it. The small circle with a character for 'wind' lit up immediately.

"I… see," said Kakashi, taking the paper out of Naruto's hand and channeling a bit of chakra himself, causing the circle with the character for earth to lit up. "It can be used for an indefinite amount of times?"

"Essentially," said Naruto. "I made it mostly as a curiosity, to see if I could do it. And because I wanted to see if I could do it, I guess. You can keep it as far as I'm concerned."

Kakashi 'hmm'ed before waving to Sasuke and Sakura to stop pretending they're not eavesdropping on the conversation and come closer. He handed the paper to Sakura and everyone huddler around her to see what she'll get.

"Fire," she said.

"A fairly common result here in Konoha," said Kakashi with a nod.

Sasuke channeled a bit of chakra into the paper before frowning.

"This can't be right," he said. "Naruto, are you sure this is working properly?"

"Damn right I am!" said Naruto, apparently insulted that someone doubted his sealing expertise. "What's so strange around being lightning-natured anyway?"

"I'm an Uchiha," said Sasuke. "Uchiha's are all fire-natured."

"No, not really," disagreed Kakashi. "Just most of them."

"So are you going to teach us techniques that use our affinity?" interrupted Sakura.

"Among other things, yes," said Kakashi. "As I already said, I believe over-specialization is dangerous, but your affinity determines which element you're naturally good at. Cover your weakness but never neglect your strengths, the saying goes. In fact, since you did so well with the 'earth clone' technique, I suppose I'll can give each of you an elemental technique of your affinity as a parting gift. What do you say?"

"Yes!" agreed Sakura enthusiastically.

"Hn," agreed Sasuke.

"Actually, I'd rather you teach me that earth technique where you sink into the ground as if it were water," said Naruto, causing everyone else to look at him strangely.

Kakashi gave Naruto a curious look. "And why is that?"

"As far as I know, wind techniques tend towards the destructive side. And I doubt you're really authorized to teach me anything very destructive," said Naruto. "That wind technique you want to teach me is probably less effective than an explosive note… and remember, I can make as many of those as I need. On the other hand, I can think up a whole slew of uses for that earth technique. Plus, it uses the same element as the earth clone, so getting proficient in one will probably make me more efficient in the other as well. Frankly, Kakashi-sensei, my plate is already a bit full. I already have sealing and medical techniques to keep me busy, and I'd rather not neglect those studies in order to learn how to manipulate different elemental chakras. Not unless I'm getting something good out of it. I think I have no problems in specializing in earth techniques. They seem very versatile."

Kakashi listened patiently to the boy. It was rare for him to be so vocal about something, so this was a prime opportunity to see how his mind work. All thing considered, the boy had a point, even if it was more than a little disturbing that he knew Kakashi was restricted in what he could teach them. Not surprising in any way, but disturbing nonetheless. However, Kakashi's pride was a little hurt. Naruto thought he couldn't teach him 'something good'? There was a reason ninjutsu was so popular, and no, it wasn't because ninjas liked flashy things. And other than perhaps Sarutobi, Kakashi had the biggest collection of techniques in Konoha. He had 'something good' for everyone!

Well… the Hokage _did_ authorize him to teach them a high-level technique each. He didn't specify what 'high-level' means.

"I see," said Kakashi evenly. "You're right that the 'underground fish' technique is very useful and versatile, and that's why I'm going to teach it to all of you… eventually. However, you're wrong in assuming I'm going to be wasting your time. I suppose that, rather than talking, a demonstration is in order. Naruto, could you please make as many earth clones as you can and have them stand by that tree over there? Make them as tough as you can."

After a moment of hesitation Naruto created 50 earth clones and instructed them to gather around the tree in question. It was an impressive feat, really, and not just because of chakra expenditure. Much like regular clones, earth clones weren't entirely independent of the creator, and required a certain amount of direction by the creator. For Naruto to coordinate that many spoke of a well-organized mind.

"Alright. I'm going to show you some techniques now," said Kakashi. "Sasuke, please turn off your sharingan for now. Each of these techniques will kill you from chakra exhaustion if you try to perform them."

Sasuke did as told with a grunt of annoyance, and Kakashi deliberately blazed through the hand-seals, ensuring that none of his genin saw which ones he used exactly. Completing the technique, he blew a ball of compressed air at the gaggle of earth clones. Upon hitting the tree, the wind bullet detonated intro a blast concussive and slashing force, tearing both the tree and the clones into pieces and sending them raining around the training ground.

No clones survived the blast.

"Woah," said Naruto.

"That was a 'wind bullet' technique," said Kakashi. "Sadly, it is beyond your ability to perform, as it requires a great deal of control of wind chakra to execute safely. In the hands of someone like you, the wind bullet would explode right in your face if you tried to perform it, your exceptional chakra control not withstanding. If you want to be able to perform techniques like that, you need to get some familiarity over your wind affinity by performing simpler techniques. Now… make more clones, but disperse them all around us, so they can not be caught up in such a concentrated blast."

Taking a deep breath, Naruto created 50 more clones and scattered them across the meadow they were in. Despite expending such a massive amount of chakra twice in a row, Naruto didn't even seem affected. His chakra capacity truly was amazing.

Kakashi sped through the hand seals again, this time causing an aura of fire to erupt around him. His genin jumped away from him in shock, even as the aura of fire broke up into a multitude of flaming birds that sped off towards Naruto's earth clones. This time Naruto instructed his clones to dodge, just as Kakashi suspected he would, but the birds were very fast and could home in on their targets. Each time a bird slammed into the clone, a miniature fireball would engulf the hapless target, reducing it to charred soil.

Despite Naruto's best attempts, again no clones survived the assault.

"That was 'children of the phoenix' technique," said Kakashi. "Like the previous ability, it can only be performed by someone with a fire affinity that spent a lot of time honing their fire element manipulation doing simpler techniques. Otherwise you'd just set yourself on fire."

"So how can you perform all these techniques?" protested Sasuke with annoyance. "We've already seen you're earth-natured, but you're doing all these supposedly exclusive techniques with no problems!"

"What makes you think I have no problems performing them?" asked Kakashi. "I'll have you know they take a lot out of me."

"But how can you perform them _at all_?" insisted Sasuke.

"He probably went through elemental decomposition training for each element," piped in Sakura.

"The what?" asked Naruto.

"Elemental decomposition," repeated Sakura. "It's a set of advanced exercises meant to develop ones affinity for a particular element. Each element has its own set of exercises, and it's supposed to take years to develop even one element that way. But considering everything we know about Kakashi-sensei, he probably went through all 5 by now."

"Very good Sakura," agreed Kakashi. "In order to use these high-level techniques for an element you have no affinity for, you'd have to spend years developing an affinity for it. I'm assuming you're all operating on a smaller time-frame than that."

All three of them nodded in agreement.

"Fortunately, you don't have to work that hard if you naturally have the affinity for the element in question. So if you work hard, you'll be able to perform these techniques I've shown you in a year or so. Maybe even months if you're really motivated. Including a lightning one for Sasuke, of course."

"Which one would that be?" asked Sasuke eagerly.

"Chidori," said Kakashi. "It's a high-ranking assassination ninjutsu, and my one original technique. It requires the sharingan to be used correctly, so I guess you're the only option for a successor. I guess I can demonstrate with Naruto's help. Naruto, make a single earth clone and make it as tough as you can."

Naruto did so, and Kakashi promptly activated chidori and lunged at the clone. Somewhat disappointingly, the clone didn't even try to evade – not that it would have done it any good – and Kakashi ran his hand through its chest, causing it to fall apart.

"Earth techniques can be a bother to deal with," said Kakashi. "They can often make a user nearly unassailable unless you're _a lot_ stronger than your opponent. Chidori and it's advanced version, Raikiri, were my answer to the many protective techniques Rock ninja used during the third ninja war. There is also a fair number of bloodlines that allow the user to shrug off normal injuries, but I can guarantee you that they can't deal with the level of damage chidori causes."

Kakashi was pleased to note that all tree were suitably impressed, and sent a particularly smug smile towards Naruto, who sighed and waved his hands in defeat. Kakashi proceeded to show them the techniques 'phoenix flower', 'wind sickle', and 'shocking touch'. Sasuke complained that he already knows 'phoenix flower', but Kakashi simply told him he was teaching them that particular technique for Sakura's sake, not his. It wasn't Kakashi's fault the Uchiha knew most of the fire techniques he wanted to teach them.

His task done, Kakashi decided to go home and lie down a little. Those techniques really _did_ take a lot out of him.

* * *

Hyuuga Hinata loved Naruto more than life itself. She would die for him, if need be. But if he showed up in front of her right now, she would juuken his ass so hard he'd stay in the hospital for a week!

"That's disgusting," said Kiba.

Hinata tried to wipe the foul-smelling orange slime off her shirt but found that it had bonded to her clothes and would not come off so easily. It was essentially harmless, but the smell was intense enough to much up Kiba and Akamaru's tracking abilities.

And besides, Hinata just didn't like to stink.

"Want me to help with that?" offered Kiba.

"No," snarled Hinata crankily, giving Kiba a hard glare. The Inuzuka quickly withdrew from her in response.

Hinata sighed, attempting to use a kunai to scrape off the substance and then giving up. Even when harmless, Naruto's traps were a nasty piece of work. She'll just deal with it until the end of the exercise.

"You aren't giving up so soon, are you?" asked Kurenai.

"Hell no!" yelled Kiba. "I'm not giving up till I catch that asshole and beat the crap out of him for everything he made us go through today!"

Akamaru growled crankily in agreement.

"Perhaps we should stop underestimating our opponent then," said Shino. "So far we've encountered mud-filled pits, highly adhesive trees, uncharacteristically aggressive squirrels, live hornet nests used as projectiles, sludge bombs made out of sealing paper folded into real-looking origami flowers, and butterflies that explode into clouds of itching powder. Clearly Naruto is toying with us, believing us to be incapable to dealing with actual traps that have capacity to main and kill. And is correct, if our abysmal performance is of any indication. Considering the nature of our abilities and training, our failure to evade these traps indicates psychological issues rather than being a question of base competence."

Hinata dipped her head in shame. Shino was too kind. She and Kiba had been blundering from one trap to another right from the start of the exam. The only time Shino was fooled was when he allowed that colorful butterfly to approach him, but even then he managed to avoid most of the itching powder. Hinata had _tried_ to be more careful… but these sort of exercises lasted for hours and she couldn't keep her byakugan active all that time. The Inuzuka wasn't faring much better than her – tracking Naruto by scent was easy, but simply following the trail meant blundering into trap after trap.

How the hell did he set up all of this anyway? He only had a 30 minute head-start!

"Where is he?" Kiba asked, looking at Hinata pointedly.

Hinata activated her byakugan and searched for the blond. He was still in the same damn tree she saw him a while ago, humming to himself and scribbling something into a notebook.

"He hasn't moved from his spot yet," said Hinata.

"He wants a confrontation," said Shino. "The battlefield has probably been thoroughly adjusted in his favor at that place."

"So what do we do now?" asked Kiba.

"We circle around him and come after him from behind," said Shino. "We've been tracking his progress at regular intervals and we know which sections of the forest he hasn't been to at all. He could not have trapped areas he has never visited. I realize it is somewhat against the spirit of the exercise to simply evade the traps altogether like this-"

"Nonsense," piped in Kurenai. "As long as it would work just as well in the live situations, any solution is permitted. Carry on."

"Very well," acknowledged Shino. "As I said, we simply circle around him and evade the traps. Since he has clearly prepared his current spot, our first priority is to get him as far away from it as possible, preferably in a direction away from the section of the forest he trapped. Then I and Kiba simply keep him busy until Hinata can incapacitate him."

The first plan was very easy – circling around Naruto really did evade all the traps he had laid in their path, and they encountered no surprises. They were afraid that the blond would notice their tactics and retreat deeper into his trapped territory, but Naruto remained stationary. Frankly, it made Hinata queasy. Naruto was very perceptive, and if the stories Hinata overheard from Sakura were true, he could seed an area with something called 'sensor seals', which allowed him to detect chakra signatures. There was no way he had not noticed their approach. But what else could she do, except go along with her teammate's plan?

They sprung from their hiding spots and charged their target, knowing there was no way for them to get close enough for a stealthy capture. Their current goal was merely to get him away from the area.

As they converged to his position, Naruto simply tipped over the branch he was sitting on and stuck his feet to the underside of the branch. Kiba and Akamaru were the closest to him, being the first line of attack, and they were so surprised at his strange maneuver they barely reacted when the bandages on Naruto's arms wrapped themselves around their ankles in flash and threw them off the branch. It was nothing dangerous, but those two would take several seconds to break their fall and regroup – and eternity in a battle between ninjas.

Shino was not too far behind, and was just about to land on a branch right next to the one Naruto was hanging off. It would give him a perfect firing position on the blond, allowing Hinata to swoop in while their target was distracted.

Naruto flexed his fingers.

Hinata's eyes widened when she noticed a thin, almost invisible string of chakra forming between Naruto's finger and a spot underneath the branch Shino was about to land on. Before she could shout a warning Naruto's finger twitched and an explosion snapped the branch off the tree. The timing was perfect, with the branch snapping at precisely the moment Shino landed on it, destabilizing him utterly and sending him tumbling down.

Abandoning the initial plan, Hinata reached into her pocket and pulled out a stack of paper notes. They weren't explosive notes, just regular paper, but it was all she needed. She wanted to keep this trick a secret for a while longer, but she couldn't let Naruto think her team were a bunch of weaklings he could push around all by himself. She channeled chakra into the notes and they became sharp and rigid as if made out of steel. She threw the notes in a shower of paper blades, causing the blond to disengage from his branch and run down the trunk of the tree.

By this time, Shino and Kiba had recovered their bearings and joined her assault. Hinata used her paper projectiles to keep Naruto busy while Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino engaged in melee. While the paper notes didn't have any special abilities, they were so cheap Hinata could get an effectively infinite supply of them, allowing her to pepper Naruto constantly with shower after shower of sharp projectiles. The technique was seal-less and didn't even use that much chakra, merely requiring superb chakra control.

It was just a distraction until she could move in an incapacitate him, of course, but considering how the battle was going, she suspected that could take a while.

Kiba and Akamaru had used their clan enhancement techniques and Akamaru had turned into a clone of Kiba. Their attack tactics were crude, but they worked superbly with one another. Shino himself was extremely good at taijutsu, having both skill and power. And yet, Naruto was dealing with all three of them. His bandages coiled around him, diverting their strikes and lashing out at them when the opportunity presented itself. Much like her paper notes, the bandages had the ability to go rigid like steel, although the sheer sophistication of Naruto's control over his bandages made Hinata feel very self-conscious. Studying them with her byakugan, she could see that the bandages were controlled through thin strands of chakra extending from Naruto's fingers, and we thoroughly soaked with Naruto's chakra.

But though their attack seemingly had no effect, they had achieved their immediate goal nonetheless – Naruto was gradually moving deeper into the untrapped portion of the forest under their assault. And none of them expended all of their energies to do it, either.

Their next rude surprise was when Kiba and Akamaru managed to ram into Naruto and send him into the nearby stream. They had though this would be the end of him, but Naruto's feet never sank beneath the surface of the water, breaking his fall on it as if it were solid ground.

Hinata knew about the water walking exercise of course, even if she had yet to learn it herself. But the stream was turbulent, Naruto didn't walk on it so much as break his fall on it, and he was doubtlessly distracted and in pain from Kiba and Akamaru's attack. Yet he gave no indication whatsoever that performing the water walking exercise under those conditions was in any way difficult for him. It spoke of a chakra control so vast that Hinata wondered in Naruto has some sort of bloodline.

Conveniently, it would mean her father would be much more open to the idea of Naruto as her husband. Ninja clans loved adding bloodlines to their descendants, and Hyuuga were no exception. A bloodline that gives superb chakra control would compliment well with the byakugan.

But that was a thought for some other time.

"Hidden mist technique," said Naruto from his spot on the stream, and thick white mist blanketed the entire area.

It was a troublesome technique to be sure – it obscured everything from normal sight, the chakra-laden mist somehow dampened the sounds, and the water droplets interfered with scent-based abilities. It did nothing to stop her byakugan, however, so Hinata took it upon herself to keep her teammates safe and coordinate the counterattack. At first Naruto tried to overwhelm them using earth clones, which he made in wave after wave, but Hinata found them to be very inferior to the real Naruto, unable to use their bandages like he did and lacking his inventiveness in battle. A single well-placed paper note was enough to take care of them. Seeing this tactic would not work, Naruto tried knocking out Hinata with a few well-placed explosive notes, presumably so he could pick off her remaining teammates one by one.

That's when they sprung a trap for him. A mass of kikai exploded upwards from right beneath Naruto. While they could never hope to drain him of chakra, they did obscure his vision completely and their buzzing completely drowned out any sound they might make. It occupied him enough for Shino and Kiba to land several punches on his and quickly restrain him with wire.

"Damn," was all Naruto said.

Hinata glanced towards Kiba and Akamaru to see if she would have to restrain them from pummeling Naruto while he was helpless, but they seemed to have calmed down as much as she did. Which was good, because she really didn't want to fight her teammates.

"Well done," said Kurenai, appearing beside them. "You're start was a little disappointing but you've achieved your objective within the set time-frame. Just remember that if those traps were real you'd be dead several times over by now. You can untie Naruto now."

Hinata sat down on the ground with a thud. She was still so very weak compared to Naruto but she thought she was doing rather well. She had committed herself to the support role or medic and scout, and she thought she did pretty well there all things considered. Her father didn't approve but she no longer cared so much about that. She had Naruto and her team. _They_ supported her. Just yesterday she told her father she does even want to be the clan heir and that he can put the branch house seal on her whenever he wanted. Hanabi clearly made for a much better leader anyway, and Hinata suspected that clan heads couldn't 'disgrace their position' by marrying someone like Naruto. Her father had become curiously upset with her and told her not to make rash decisions, insisting that she try her best. She really didn't understand him.

Shaking her head she rose up again and went to the three boys and the dog to see if anyone needs healing. They didn't – the fighting was intense but without injuries, as neither side really wanted to go all the way on each other.

"Actually Hinata, there is something you can help me with," said Naruto. "I've been wanting to test something for a while now, and the only people I trust with this are you and Shino."

"Oh," said Kurenai with interest. "And what would that be? I can't let you perform experiments on my charges, you know?"

"It's not _that_ kind of experiment," sighed Naruto. "If anything, I'm the one who's in danger."

"What do you mean?" asked Hinata, happy that she was considered to be one of Naruto's most trusted people.

"I can enter my mindscape," said Naruto. "It really useful, since time spent there doesn't count in the real word. I could spend hours there and have only a minute or so pass in the real word. But I was wondering if it was possible to bring someone over with me. And that's risky because I don't want just about anyone in my mind, you know?"

"I see," said Kurenai, obviously very interested. "That would indeed be a very useful. How do you intent to do it?"

"Actually, I was hoping you'd help me with that," said Naruto. "It sounds like something you'd know, being a genjutsu mistress and all."

Naruto certainly knew how to get people interested. Kurenai predictably asked for a demonstration, which was very unimpressive, since it seemed like Naruto simply spent a minute or so in deep meditation. Kurenai performed a staggering amount of genjutsu on the blonde while he was meditating, and constantly consulted Hinata, who was observing it all with her byakugan. Apparently satisfied, Kurenai spent the next hour walking in circles around them, mumbling to herself. Hinata's team used that time to chat up with Naruto, partially about this new ability of his but mostly about nothing in particular.

Finally, Kurenai came back to Naruto and instructed him how to perform several techniques on Hinata, having apparently invented them on the spot just for this purpose. The first 15 failed to produce any effect, the next three just made Hinata feel sick, but the 19th one caused Hinata's world to blur and blacken until she suddenly found herself inside the Hokage's office.

Only instead of the aging Sandaime, Naruto was sitting behind the desk, blowing bubbles out of his pipe and frowning at the paper in his hand. Hinata giggled at the sight.

"It worked!?" said Naruto excitedly, throwing the paper in the air where it promptly disintegrated into nothingness. "I was starting to think Kurenai was making fun of me or something."

Hinata looked around the room. Though a fairly convincing replica of the Hokage's office, there were obvious differences. For one thing, the walls were plastered with complicated diagrams of some kind of contraptions and what appeared to be sealing arrays. Hinata couldn't make heads or tails of it but it certainly looked impressive.

"Hokage's office?" she asked finally.

"Yeah," said Naruto chuckling nervously. "Would you believe this place used to be sewer before I got to changing it? It just seemed natural to change it into this, you know? Just don't open the window, okay?"

"Why?" asked Hinata curiously.

"That's the seal holding back the Kyuubi," said Naruto seriously.

"Oh."

"So anyway, I wanted to see what would happen if I brought someone over and now you're here," said Naruto, changing the subject. "Why don't we do some experiments then?"

"Like what?" asked Hinata.

"Well, I can create and destroy things here with but a thought," said Naruto, causing a bird made out of flame to erupt from his hand. The bird expanded in size and the flames died down, leaving behind a black statue of a crane in the middle of the room. Naruto waved his hand dismissively and the crane vanished as if it was never there. "Why don't you try so we can see if only I can do that?"

Create… things? _Anything_? This meant that you could make your wildest fantasies come true in this place. True, it wouldn't be anything like the real thing, but still. Despite her best efforts, an image of a naked Naruto with his hands draped across her shoulders implanted itself in her mind. She shook her head to drive the image away but only succeeded in changing the scene slightly.

There was a soft 'pop' and Hinata was mortified to find someone behind her wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. She was just about to attack when a familiar voice breather into her neck.

"It's okay, Hinata-chan…" illusionary Naruto whispered. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time…"

Hinata was mortified, and the shocked expression on the real Naruto standing in front of her made her want to sink into the ground in shame. In fact, she _did_ try that, but it seemed there were some things she could not do even here. She tore herself from the illusionary Naruto's grasp when the illusion tried to nibble on her ear, trying desperately to will it away. By now, the real Naruto had recovered and was smiling from ear to ear, clearly amused at the situation.

"I never knew you were this kind of girl… Hinata-_chan_."

Hinata summoned the last of her willpower to think about something else and succeeded in banishing the illusion. Only for three more to pop in existence around her.

The real Naruto roared into loud laughter. "Oh man, one of me is no longer enough for you? You're something else Hinata-chan, I'll give you that!"

Hinata had had enough. She had mostly overcome her fainting spells a while ago, but faced with such an humiliating experience she simply lost consciousness. Hinata in Naruto's mindscape winked out of existence, taking the three illusionary Naruto's with her, and Hinata in the real word toppled over to the ground, scaring her sensei and teammates half to death.

She refused to speak to Naruto for a week afterwards.

* * *

Naruto's incident with Hinata remained purely between the two of them, but her two teammates clearly had an inkling about what happened since they came to him the next day and threatened to maim him if he hurts Hinata. Naruto didn't know what to think about that – at least Shino was usually on _his_ side. Did they really think so low of him? It seems that team 8 is becoming a real team and he… was becoming an outsider.

At least they haven't thrown him out of the group yet. Hinata calmed down after a week or so, but she still switched places with Shino for the experiment. Apparently she asked Kurenai for exercises that will let her control her thoughts more effectively and could be seen in some kind of meditation occasionally.

Naruto had finally made himself some new puppets – 5 of them in fact. They all had an insect – sorry, _arthropod_ – theme to them, and Naruto had really outdid himself in making them, if he can say so himself.

The first one was a centipede-like successor or Naga, armed with huge poison-injecting mandibles and trading the Naga's fire-breathing apparatus for a water cannon that drew water from a large number of storage seals in the centipede's body and fired it in the form of a highly concentrated beam that could cut boulders. The second one was a large beetle bristling with various destructive weaponry and riddled with absorbing seals that would allow it to suck in any fire or lightning technique Naruto might encounter.

The next two were two identical puppets he called 'fleas', because of their distinctive appearance and the fact that they moved by jumping around. Their weaponry was very light and based on poisons, but they were fast and maneuverable. The last one was a modified version of one of Sasori's standard puppets. Roach was humanoid and four-armed, fast, armed with retractable wrist-blades, and damn-near impossible to destroy. You could smash it to pieces but a single technique would put it back together.

Beetle and Centipede were his defensive puppets, meant to protect him from enemies seeking to engage him in close combat or overpower him with techniques. Fleas and Roach were his attack puppets, meant to pursue enemies and finish them. But really, they were meant to be used together, like a team - he had designed them to cover each other's weaknesses as best as he could. He was only bothered by the fact that he couldn't test them by fighting against Sasori, which was how he ironed out the little problems in Naga prior to it's combat use.

Kabuto turned out fine. Old Man swallowed the medic's story and even gave him his official blessing. True, Kabuto was now required to report directly to the Hokage on all things related to Naruto, but that was minor compared to what Naruto thought would happen. Still, Old Man's scrutiny interfered with their training, in that Naruto couldn't use his puppeteering without disguising it like he did with his bandages and various zombie animals. So Naruto found himself grudgingly working on various techniques Kakashi gave them.

He had already made variant of that 'wind blast' technique Kakashi taught him, one that allowed him to fire several smaller blasts in succession instead of one big one. 'Wind scythe', despite its awesome name, was a fairly weak technique, capable of giving someone a nasty cut and little else… unless Naruto anchored the wind scythe to one of his bandages, in which it was capable of leaving deep gashes in the bark of the trees he practiced on.

He had tried to improve the earth clones by attaching reinforcement tags on them, but those tags required too much chakra to create to be used as freely as he'd like. The functions he'd like to improve in the earth clones were many, and squeezing all the necessary seals on a little paper tag inflated the chakra cost needlessly. That's when it hit him – what if he used a puppet as raw material for a clone technique? The puppet could be riddled with as many seals as he'd like, after all.

But doing that was easier said than done – so far he had been doing only relatively minor alternations to the techniques he was modifying, and this would be a complete overhaul. He would be practically inventing a whole new technique all by himself.

Naruto knew a lot of things he objectively shouldn't have, but creating a new technique entirely from scratch was not one of them.

Holding his breath, Naruto added the finishing touches to the puppet in front of him. Glassy eyes of a blond-haired, orange-clad, human-like puppet stared back at him.

"Hello puppet Naruto," said Naruto. "It's nice to meet you."

He snickered to himself before taking several steps back and started doing hand-seals.

The moment of truth.

"Puppet Clone," he said.

The puppet was enveloped in smoke and became an exact replica of him. The replica tried to get up in jerky inept movements before falling to the ground and dissolving, leaving only a puppet behind.

"Crap," hissed Naruto. "Attempt one – failed."

* * *

"We're lost, aren't we?" Temari asked with annoyance.

"We're not lost." said Kankurou. "We're just still looking."

Temari rolled her eyes. Kankurou was always terrible at remembering directions. Why the hell did she send _him_ to get directions to their hotel from Baki-sensei?

"I'm tired of walking around," said Temari. "Quit looking and start finding."

Kankurou mumbled something that she couldn't quite make out (but was probably rude) and started rubbing his chin. Temari had a powerful urge to smack him over the head with her fan, but she was controlling herself. She glanced at her other brother. She can control herself, but can Gaara? You could never tell when the red-head was going to suddenly snap. Even now he was constantly leaking small amounts of killing intent all around him, causing everyone to give them a wide berth.

And then the most curious thing happened – a blonde, whiskered, young Konoha ninja wearing a blaring orange shirt entered their bubble like nothing was wrong, continuing on his way undeterred by Gaara's emanations. The blonde was in a bad mood himself, also leaking minute amounts of killing intent, also creating a bubble of emptiness all around him. He gave Temari's team only the most cursory glance to make sure they were not a threat and then walked right passed them, mumbling 'attempt 37 failed' in an angry voice.

"Hey, you," called out Gaara suddenly.

"What?" said the blonde crankily, craning his neck to look at her younger brother.

Temari swallowed heavily. She desperately wanted to tell the blonde to speak with less hostility, because if Gaara interprets the blonde's attitude as a challenge…

"Do you know where the White Leaf Hotel is?"

"Sure," said the blonde. "You're going in the opposite direction. Go back in that direction then turn left at the second intersection. It's in the merchant district so fruit sellers often choke up the road – it's easy to miss if you're not careful. Anyway, once you push back through the fruit stands you should see a yellow-colored building nearby. That's the White Leaf Hotel."

The three sand genin stared at the blonde in surprise. His bad mood seemed to have disappeared in an instant, replaced by a cheery and smiling individual. Unfortunately, the blonde interpreted their stares differently.

"I'll take you there," he sighed.

Temari wanted to protest but Gaara simply walked off after the blonde. She glanced at Kankurou, who simply shrugged and went as well. Feeling a bit queasy about this, Temari joined her team.

The blonde wasn't normal. He was no longer as cheery as he was only a minute ago, but neither was he in foul mood. Instead his mind seemed to be elsewhere as he led them down the streets of Konoha, which was quite a feat when being around Gaara. Not only was Gaara still leaking killing intent, he was now specifically focused on the blonde. The Konoha ninja had clearly fascinated Gaara, and Temari had a horrible feeling this would end badly.

Why the hell was the kid ignoring Gaara's killing intent!?

But the second thing about the blond was even stranger – even though he was walking next to an unstable maniac like her brother, the villagers were whispering and casting glances at the _blonde_, not Gaara. They seemed to be more concerned at Naruto's presence than Gaara's. When they finally got to the fruit stands the effect became so pronounced that Temari had a compulsion to outright ask them what the hell is their problem. Or at least demand answers from the blonde. But she was controlling herself.

Gaara had no such inhibitions.

"They seemed to fear you," he said to the blonde.

"Yeah, the villagers don't really like me," the blonde said. "Don't let it bother you."

"Man, you must have done some seriousshit to get _that_ kind ofreaction," said Kankurou.

"Not really," the blonde said. "I didn't do anything to them."

"Then why do they fear you?" asked Gaara.

"It's a bit personal…" the blonde tried. "Let's just say they consider me a monster."

Temari and her team stopped in their tracks, staring the whiskered blonde.

"What?" the blonde asked.

"W-Well, we're here," said Temari quickly. "That's it, isn't it? The yellow building?"

"Oh," the blonde said, glancing at the building. "You're right. My bad, I guess I got carried away. Well, this is it I guess."

Temari watched the blonde backtrack form where they came from. Monster? How could that boy possibly be a monster?

"What is your name?" called out Gaara.

"Uzumaki Naruto," the blonde said. "What's yours?"

"Gaara. And these two are by sister Temari and my brother Kankurou. We're here to participate in the Chuunin exams taking place in Konoha. Are you going to participate in the exams as well?"

The blonde looked thoughtful for a moment. "I don't really know… our sensei can be really unpredictable. Maybe."

Gaara stood and watched the blonde push through the food stands and away from sight, and Temari didn't dare leave until Gaara did. Finally her brother turned around and continued towards the Hotel. Temari sighed in relief. She's going straight to bed after she takes a bath.

"Uzumaki Naruto…" said Gaara softly beside her. "I will see you at the Chuunin exams. You will validate my existence."


	12. Hunting Grounds

No, the story isn't dead, though I'll admit my enthusiasm for it has significantly drained away due to various reasons. Still, there are only 4 chapters left after this one, so it would be a shame to quit this close to completion.

Also: The separators in previous chapters spontaneously disappeared for some reason, so I had to re-upload them.

Now on to the story.

- break -

The thing about complex plans is that reality tends to wreck them by introducing new variable out of nowhere. Sasori knew this, and tried to make his 'kill Orochimaru' as simple and flexible as he could, yet he still ended up running afoul of this tendency.

"Of all the things they could have brought, did it have to be another jinchuuriki?" mumbled Sasori irritably. "This is going to ruin everything!"

He couldn't kill the kid. Not only would doing so put everyone - including Orochimaru - at high alert, it was also potentially catastrophic. What would happen to Shukaku if its container was killed? Sasori didn't know. For all he knew, the tailed beast would be released to rampage around Konoha unchecked. Sasori didn't particularly care about Konoha in an emotional sense, but its destruction was not in his best interests at the moment.

Halfway through weighting pros and cons of killing the Sand jinchuuriki, Sasori realized his irritation was way out of proportion to the actual obstacle in front of him. Yes, Gaara had to be neutralized, but that was not an impossible task. No, the real problem wasn't Gaara as such, but rather the Sand's involvement in general. For some reason their presence aggravated him greatly. Why did this bother him so? He was over with his former village, all his bridges with them burned, yet every time he saw them he felt anger and bitterness the likes of which he hadn't felt in a long time.

Much like in Naruto's case, there was no single thing that soured Sasori towards Sand, but rather a constant stream of small slights that built up over time. The problem wasn't that Sand had some irrational bias towards Sasori, because it didn't. The problem was that Sasori didn't think like a ninja should, and thus ended up clashing with his superiors over and over until he finally snapped one day. When Naruto asked him if he was a ninja so long ago, Sasori told him he was an artist. As much as this was an obfuscation tactic, it was also true. In his own way, Sasori was as much a failure as a ninja as Naruto was.

But if Sasori had to isolate one thing as a catalyst for his 'betrayal', it would have to be Sand's treatment of his precious art. True, Sand was thrilled with his standardized puppets, but they had no appreciation for the deeper mysteries of his work. They mindlessly parroted his works, never bothering to understand the genius behind them, the thing that made them so potent and versatile. And how could they when the third Kazekage forbid Sasori from teaching Sasori's insights to anyone?

Sasori had tried so hard to develop his art, poured his life into it, only to have it forbidden in its pure form. The third Kazekage didn't want puppeteering as an art, a set of instructions and theory that one could use creatively to create their own puppets. That was too dangerous! And Suna shared his views on the matter. Techniques, bloodline limits, tailed beasts… these things were something that could be easily kept restricted in the hands of the carefully approved few. But knowledge and insight? Why, any lone genius could come up with all sorts of dangerous ideas with that kind of knowledge.

Any lone genius like Sasori.

So Sasori's masterpiece, the scrolls he made to teach the future disciples of the art, was locked away in the Kazekage's vault, the understanding behind puppeteering suppressed. Oh he was permitted to teach his direct descendants, but what did that mean to Sasori? As far as Sasori was concerned, it was the biggest insult they could have hurled at him. To hide away his art away from all eyes, left to rot in some cellar, was a provocation of the highest order. The Third Kazekage might as well spat into Sasori's face with that decree. How could Sasori have possibly not responded?

So Sasori killed him. He killed the Kazekage, despite his fancy bloodline that everyone said was unbeatable. It's funny how the world of ninja is filled with 'unbeatable' abilities. Sasori didn't even kill him in battle, never charged head on into the iron sand – he simply placed a mind-control seal on the Kazekage's secretary and had her poison him. It was only fitting for a puppeteer to kill an opponent through a puppet – it was not Sasori's fault that the Kazekage had a very limited definition of what a 'puppet' was.

Sasori nodded to himself. Gaara had to be dealt with, but Sasori himself was too emotionally perturbed by Sand presence to do it himself. He could easily loose control of his temper and do something rash and stupid. Fortunately, he had someone to take his place. After all, why did he have a disciple if not to take care of inconveniences like this?

He activated the tracking seal he wove into Naruto's Shiki Fuujin overlay and nodded to himself when he detected him wandering around Konoha. He began to walk towards him while writing a short coded message on a piece of paper along the way. If Naruto was shadowed, he would simply slip the paper into his pocket.

As it happened, Naruto wasn't shadowed, but he was in a lively section of the village and people were paying close attention to him. Talking to his was out of the question, so Sasori carefully folded the paper in his hand and started walking towards him.

Naruto noticed his approach when he was nearly upon him, and gave only the smallest hint of surprise before he began making hand-seals. Sasori was alarmed at first, thinking he fell for a simple transformation technique, but halfway through the technique he realized what Naruto was doing. Strange… where did the blond find that technique? More to the point, how was he able to use it? It seems little Naruto has secrets of his own.

When he felt the technique reach out to him he did not resist. There was a brief blur as a street full of people was replaced by what appeared to be Hokage's office, albeit with walls decorated with sealing arrays and puppet designs. Sasori studied the designs for a few moments before shifting his attention to the blonde sitting behind Hokage's desk.

"So," began Naruto. "The great Sasori finally deigns to show himself to his disciple. Took you long enough."

"I didn't know you could access your mindscape," said Sasori mildly, changing the subject.

Naruto's shoulder sagged. "You're not surprised I can do this? Not even a little?"

Sasori cocked his head sideways like a bird studying a shiny object.

"Damn," mumbled Naruto. "Kurenai invented a whole new technique specifically for this and he's still not impressed."

"Invented?" asked Sasori. "I don't think so. I have seen that particular technique before."

"Eh!"

"Yes," continued Sasori. "The ability to enter one's mindscape is not unknown to the ninja world, though it is incredibly taxing mentally, and causes brain damage with prolonged use. At least to people who don't have jinchuuriki's healing abilities. I can enter my mindscape as well, though I use it sparingly for obvious reasons. I even know how to perform that particular technique."

"But that doesn't make sense…" said Naruto. "Why would Kurenai lie about that?"

"Probably because she acquired it from a Yamanaka," shrugged Sasori. "Legally speaking, that's stealing clan secrets and could get her into a lot of trouble. The more interesting question is why she's risking exposure by showing you the technique."

"That _is_ a good question," agreed Naruto.

"She is a genjutsu specialist, is she not?" asked Sasori. Seeing the boy nod, he continued. "Well that's it, probably. Playing around with one's mindscape is an excellent way to train one's genjutsu prowess. I wouldn't be surprised if she had been trying to access her own mindscape for a while now. And there's nothing like a working example when you want to figure something out."

Sasori tried to create a puppet in front of him and frowned when it failed. He glanced at the blond in front of him only to see the child grinning brightly at him.

"I've been practicing with Shino and Kurenai," Naruto said. "After some initial incidents, I have decided it is a bad idea to have people enforce their will in my mindscape. They have too little control of their thoughts and then blame me for any embarrassing situations."

Sasori thanked his foresight for slipping that libido-suppressing function into Naruto's focus seal - far too many ninja who discover their mindscape waste inordinate amounts of time playing around with sexual fantasies instead of doing productive things. It was just one of the minor personality adjustments he induced in the blond, actually. While perhaps underhanded, he did not feel he had transgressed as a mentor by doing that – he had put those same adjustments on his own personality seal. He didn't do anything to the blond that he wouldn't do to himself as well.

"A wise decision," said Sasori. "In any case, the ability to freely manipulate your mindscape makes it a good practice for genjutsu specialists. If you were more skilled, you could even dive deep into your mind and make fundamental changes to your memories and thought processes, though this is as dangerous as it is rewarding."

"I guess Kurenai has every reason to seek that kind of ability," Naruto conceded. "Makes me wonder why exactly she didn't achieve it yet? It seems simple enough to me…"

"I'm pretty sure the only reason you find it so easy to enter your mindscape is that seal on your stomach. Normally, entering your mindscape takes years of training in exercises that are known to only a few clans. However, it seems the Yondaime also got a hold of those secrets and included the ability as one of the many hidden functions of the seal. It is a rather convenient way to converse with the fox, I will admit."

"Come to think of it, that explains a lot," Naruto said. "The Fourth did come up with Shiki Fuujin awfully quickly considering how complex it is. I don't care how good a seal-master he is, you don't design something that good in a few hours. He must have been using the mindscape as design space the same way I am doing these days."

There was a brief silence before Naruto eyed Sasori suspiciously. "And how do you know all this stuff anyway?"

"I had an opportunity to talk with a number of practitioners of this ability, including several members of the Yamanaka clan."

"You mean you interrogated them."

"Sometimes," admitted Sasori. "But it's pretty hard to wrench information from someone's mind when they can edit it at whim. Most of what I know of mindscape manipulation I acquired through trade. Idealism aside, most people will betray their clan's secrets if the price is high enough and the chance of discovery negligible."

Sasori suddenly straightened himself. "But enough about that. I have sought you out about a matter of great importance. You are aware about the upcoming Chuunin exams, yes?"

"Yeah," confirmed Naruto. "What of it?"

"Your sensei is planning to enter your team as participants," said Sasori. "In fact, all the graduates from your generation are going to be nominated by their respective team leaders. Konoha feels this generation of genin is particularly good, and wants to turn the exam into a show of force."

"Ah," said Naruto, leaning back into his seat. "Not entirely unexpected. Kakashi has been giving my team some pretty intensive training lately. Why is this a concern?"

"Orochimaru is going invade the village during the final portion of the exam."

"WHAT!" said Naruto, jumping from his chair. "Orochimaru… but… If you… How long did you know about this! And you're springing this on me NOW! I have to alert the Old Man and-"

"No," said Sasori simply. "I have already set a plan in motion to deal with the invasion, and alerting the Hokage would ruin it. We both know Konoha can't contain the numerous information leaks it is subjected to, so anything they know will be known by Orochimaru in short order."

"But…"

"Do you trust me Naruto?"

Sasori watched the blond impassively. Getting people to follow your lead was surprisingly easy – all you had to do was convince them they were being threatened and not give them time to think things through. The threat didn't even have to be real, though it was more convenient if it was. Springing this so suddenly on Naruto and questioning his loyalty practically ensured the boy would fall in line.

"Fine," huffed Naruto. "But if you think you can keep _me_ in the dark about your plans…"

"I wouldn't dream of it," said Sasori. "In fact, as my disciple, I expect you to help me with this issue to the best of your ability. And on that note, I have a task for you."

"You do?" Naruto perked up immediately, suddenly on the edge of his seat in anticipation.

"I do. There is genin team from Sand participating in the exams-"

"You mean Gaara and co.?" asked Naruto. "Man, that guy gives me the creeps. He kept looking at me like he wants to eat me and he leaks killing intent all the freaking time!"

"Regular assassination attempts tend to do that to a child," said Sasori with a shrug. "Especially if the child in question is a jinchuuriki with a containment seal so weak they can't even sleep without the tailed beats taking over."

"Eh!"

"Gaara is the jinchuuriki of the Ichibi," clarified Sasori.

"That…" tried Naruto, waving his arms in the air in an attempt to vocalize his thoughts. All he produced was silence. He shook his head and leaned over to Sasori. "Using only a sliver of the Kyuubi's power turns me into a combat monster, and the bloodlust that comes with it makes it really hard to care about little things like bystanders and collateral damage. When you said he has a faulty containment seal, what exactly did you mean?"

"If his will ever falters, even for a moment, the Ichibi will manifest itself in its full destructive glory until he reasserts control."

"Fuck," concluded Naruto. "So what's a ticking time-bomb like him doing in Konoha? Entering him into Chuunin exams is practically an act of war in of itself."

"Very perceptive of you. This _is_ an act of war. Sand has allied itself with Orochimaru, and Gaara is supposed to open the invasion by releasing the Ichibi to run amok within Konoha's walls."

Naruto paled. "But… there would be nothing of Konoha left if that happens! What kind of invasion is that! There would be nothing left to conquer is a tailed beast demolishes everything!"

"I'm pretty sure Orochimaru has some kind of grudge against Konoha," said Sasori with a shrug. "Destroying the entire village is the entire purpose behind this invasion. And Sand would just be glad they got rid of a rival stealing away their missions."

Naruto stayed silent for a while, the office shuddering occasionally, as if subjected to small earthquakes or distant explosions. Finally he locked eyes with Sasori, his eyes slitted and purple.

"Please tell me this plan of yours ends with Orochimaru dying," growled Naruto.

"Absolutely," said Sasori. "But Orochimaru will likely only make his appearance at the last stage of Chuunin exams. I would like to deal with Gaara sooner than that, and you are most conveniently placed for doing that."

"Meaning?" asked Naruto.

"The second phase of the exam is wilderness survival with no restrictions on killing. A perfect place and time to neutralize Gaara without plunging the village into high alert."

"Ah," said Naruto. "You want me to kill him."

"Absolutely not," said Sasori forcefully. "Killing him would likely set the Ichibi free. Gaara's seal isn't like yours – _his_ tailed beats will _not_ die if Gaara does. And besides… if Gaara were to die then Orochimaru will change his plan in unpredictable ways." Hell, he might cancel the invasion altogether, and then what? This was the best opportunity to get rid of Orochimaru that Sasori was going to get in a long time. "No, Gaara must live, and so must his teammates if he is to advance to the next portion of the exam. You will place an suppressor overlay over his seal instead. He'll be alive but unable to release Shukaku."

"Err, aren't they going to notice something like that?" Naruto tried.

"How?" Sasori countered. "Gaara's teammates are loath to even speak to him, much less regularly check his seal for tampering. And it isn't like Gaara will tell anyone about his sudden weakness."

"Right," said Naruto. He frowned. "I don't actually know any seals that can do that."

"Give me the authority to create things in the mindscape for a moment," Sasori said.

Naruto stared at him for a few seconds. "Done."

Sasori closed his eyes and a scroll popped into existence right in front of him. He threw it towards Naruto who looked over it, his frown deepening as time passed.

"Sasori, these designs aren't going to cut it," said Naruto. "This will suppress Gaara's bijuu for a few hours at most. Enough for me to take him hostage, I suppose, but not… oh come on! You can't seriously expect me to-"

"I have outmost faith in your abilities," nodded Sasori. "This is the best I could do without knowing the details of Gaara's containment seal, but I'm sure a sealing adept like you can-"

"…design a whole new seal tailored specifically for Gaara in only a few hours? Come on Sasori. It's flattering but…"

"No buts," insisted Sasori. "Only a person who has a chance to study Gaara's seal can design a lasting overlay for it. Besides, you can use your mindscape to stretch those few hours into a whole day, no?"

Naruto blinked. "I totally forgot about that. Still, it will be pretty hard."

"But within your ability, I'm sure," said Sasori. "And you'll be pleased to know you won't be operating alone in there. Kabuto will also be participating the exams and will seek you out while you're inside. Between the two of you, I'm sure you can deal with anything the Sand team can throw at you."

"Very well. But you and I are going to have a long talk after this, you hear me?"

"Of course."

And with that, Sasori left Naruto's mindscape and walked away from Naruto in the real world, who kept walking in his own direction.

- break -

Sakura rubbed her eyes irritably, restraining herself from screaming at Naruto. Sure, he had woken up her whole household in the middle of the night by standing in front of her window and yelling at her to wake up and come down. And yes, she could see him down there beneath a street light humming to himself brightly. However, she had a feeling that getting in a screaming match with him would only amuse him and get her in into trouble with the neighbors on top of it all. Surely he had a good reason for this? She quickly got dressed and outfitted with her standard ninja gear before rushing out into the street. She stomped over to him and leveled him an expectant glare.

"You better have a good reason for this, Naruto," she said. "I swear, if this is one of your pranks I'll-"

"Honestly Sakura, when is the last time I did a prank on anyone these days? More importantly, I have never done a prank on _you_, my precious flower. I may no longer have a crush on you, but you will always hold a special place in my heart."

Sakura blushed, caught off guard at the admission. She may not want the blonde's advances but it was nice to hear something like that. "Really?"

"Yeah, I think I'm attracted to abusive women," he said with a cheeky smile.

Sakura considered slugging him before it dawned on her she may be proving him right. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and banish the drowsiness.

"So why did you wake me up like this, then?"

"The first portion of the Chuunin exams," said Naruto, suddenly serious.

Sakura frowned. What did that have to do with anything? Kakashi said that the first portion of the exam was figuring out where the second phase of the exam was taking place. An exercise in information gathering, apparently. Still, the first phase was supposed to begin tomorrow, so what exactly...

Sakura's eyes widened, all traces of sleepiness forgotten. Technically, 'tomorrow' was one second after midnight! No one said they had a whole day to figure it out. The clock on her nightstand said it was 3 in the morning exactly right before she rushed outside, so they may already be too late.

Wait a minute…

"You know when and where the second portion is taking place?" she said to Naruto, more as a statement than a question.

"Yup," nodded Naruto. "Sasuke is already waiting for us at our team meeting spot at the bridge."

"So you two did everything without me?" said Sakura, disbelief and hurt in her voice. She had tried so hard not to be a burden anymore and her teammates still believed her incapable of helping out in something as simple as gathering information? That hurt.

"Sasuke was pissed about that too," said Naruto with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. "No, actually I did everything myself. Stayed up all night navigating the labyrinth of genjutsu traps set up around Forest of Death."

"And why would you do something like that?" demanded Sakura. "I know you're the best one in the team for something like that but that doesn't mean we couldn't help!"

"I don't suppose you'd believe me if I told you I wanted to let you sleep for a few hours longer?" tried Naruto.

"No," she said forcefully. "You'd relish the chance to wake us up as early as possible. Hell, you woke up the whole street right now just to get my attention. What are you up to, Naruto?"

"Oh, fine, you got me," sighed Naruto. "I was trying to make up for something I intend to do. An advance apology, of sorts. The truth is I have something I need to do during the second phase of the exam, so you and Sasuke will be on your own for a while."

"What!" Sakura stuttered. "Naruto, you can't just-"

"Come on, Sakura, you and Sasuke…" whispered Naruto conspirationally. "Alone…"

"That's not going to work Naruto," hissed Sakura. "Besides, I'm still not allowed to ask him out for a few more weeks. But that's besides the point. Naruto, this is a serious, potentially lethal exam – you can't just leave the team like this and go off on your own!"

"It will be fine, _trust me_," said Naruto, thrusting a scroll into her hand. "This will allow me to track your movements at all times so I'll be able to easily find you later. Now let's go get Sasuke before he comes looking for us."

Sakura did _not_ like this. Not one bit. However, when they reached Sasuke and she broke the issue to him, he dismissed her concerns and told her he alone is more than enough to get them all through the exams. Was she the only one who took Kakashi's lessons about teamwork to heart?

They both missed the whole point of her complaints. She wasn't worried about failing the stupid exam, she was worried about Naruto's safety! She had only seen him this nervous once, in that disastrous mission to the Wave. Which could only mean one thing – he was going to do something extremely dangerous. Alone. She knew Naruto was a lot stronger than he appeared if one took their team exercises at face value, but could he really be so far beyond them that their help would only be a hindrance to him? Or was the problem that he didn't trust them enough? She resolved to corner the blond for some answers after Chuunin exams. Perhaps she could enlist Ino's help in this? Her rival did seem to have some kind of interest in Naruto…

Coincidentally, by the time they reached the entrance to the Forest of Death (an ominous name for a training ground if there was ever one), Ino's team was already there. For that matter, so was everyone else's – team 7 seemed to be latecomers to the whole event. Naruto quickly broke away from them to go and say hi to a number of people gathered there, treating the whole thing as if it was a nice friendly gathering.

"Sasuke-kun!" yelled Ino as she threw herself at the cringing Uchiha. Sakura growled and pulled Ino off her crush. She may have agreed to leave Sasuke alone for the foreseeable future, but that didn't mean she was going to let Ino have him.

"What's the big idea, Ino-pig!" protested Sakura. "Go back to your own team and leave me and Sasuke-kun alone!"

"Ah, don't be like that…" waved Ino dismissively. "Naruto just told me you could use a visit."

"Did he now?" asked Sasuke darkly. "I'll have to see about tanking him when he gets back."

"Listen, did you notice anything unusual about Naruto lately?" Ino asked. "Ever since he got back from that mission to the Land of the Waves he has been acting weird."

"He's always been weird," said Sasuke. "It's because he's constantly hiding something or other and pretending."

"But why?" asked Sakura.

"I don't care, and you shouldn't either," snapped Sasuke. "Everyone has their secrets."

"But we're his teammates!" protested Sakura.

"And I'm his friend," added Ino. "Shouldn't that count for something?"

"We're ninja," countered Sasuke. "Secrets are the foundation of our lives. You two are just being too nosy for your own good. If you really cared about him you would let him be until he's ready to confide in you."

Sakura huffed at her crush. Were they talking about Naruto or Sasuke now? It seemed Sasuke was projecting a bit.

"He's going to do something dangerous out there," said Sakura. "I'm just worried."

But Sasuke's talkative mood had passed and he refused to be goaded into saying anything else. Annoyed at this, Sakura turned towards Ino to relieve some stress on her former friend.

"I'm surprised," said Sakura with her best 'serious face'. "I heard you're lusting after Naruto these days but to see it in action..."

"What!" Ino shrieked. "Who told you-"

Ino stopped when a kunai whizzed past her face, slicing her cheek open. Both she and Sakura were frozen in horror at the sight of a smirking woman who suddenly appeared out of nowhere, wrapping her hands around Ino's shoulders seductively. The clearly insane person gave Ino's bleeding cheek a tentative lick before chuckling creepily.

"Young, loud, and your blood tastes so sweet…" the women cooed in Ino's ear. "Just the sort of person who dies first in these kinds of things. Why don't you quiet down a little, Ino-chan."

"W-What are _you_ doing here?" stuttered Ino.

"Why I'm the proctor of the second portion of the exam!" said the woman, straightening herself and speaking loud enough for everyone to hear her. "For those who don't know me, my name is Mitarashi Anko, and this training ground is called 'Forest of Death'. You will spend five days inside, or as long as you need to reach the tower in the center. Oh and there is this thing with two opposing scrolls you need to acquire…"

Sakura's apprehension increased when she heard what they were supposed to do. This setup quite literally demanded that they attack other teams if they wished to pass into the final portion of the exam, and Sakura thought team 7 looked like an easy target. An even easier one while split.

Not that it deterred Naruto. The moment they entered the forest he dashed forward into the trees, and though Sasuke and Sakura tried to go after him they quickly lost his trail. It was hardly surprising, as he had demonstrated his ability to evade Sakura's and Sasuke's pursuit on numerous occasions before.

"Idiot," hissed Sasuke. "We didn't even set up a code for confirming identities for when we regroup."

Somehow, Sakura felt that was the least of their worries.

- break -

"I must admit, out of all rookie teams, I had though yours was the most likely one to fail this part of the test," said Naruto.

"Please," said Ino. "There is _nothing_ that I cannot weasel out of people when I get my mind on it. The hardest part was getting Shikamaru out of bed this early in the morning."

Shikamaru grunted beside her, yawning. "Why aren't you with your team Naruto?"

Naruto glanced back at Sasuke and Sakura and sighed. "Sasuke didn't want to talk with anyone and Sakura decided to keep him company," he said. "I can only take their company in small doses. Maybe Ino here should visit them a bit…"

"You know," said Ino, rubbing her chin, "that may not be such a bad idea…"

And thus she skipped off towards Naruto's teammates, jumping at Sasuke and starting a row with Sakura as a result.

"So what do you think our chances are?" asked Chouji, offering his bag of chips to Naruto.

"I donno," said Naruto, crunching down on the offered food, "We won't know until we try, won't we?"

"Come on," said Shikamaru. "We know you're always well informed about this kind of things."

"Like I said, I don't know," said Naruto. "The test will probably involve fighting of some sort, and the gathered candidates look pretty strong. Look guys, I don't mean to sound conceited or anything, but are you sure you're up for this?"

"No," said Shikamaru flatly. "But Ino won't let us quit. It's your fault really, she's convinced she's competing with you or something. Troublesome blondes."

Naruto shook his head. "Just… stay away from the sand team, okay? They won't think twice about killing you."

Saying a quick goodbye to Chouji and Shikamaru, he continued his inspection of the gathered genin teams. He knew that he attracted the attention of every team present by talking to Team 8 and Team 10, and it was only going to get worse as he continues with this, but hey…

"What a fortune to meet you in this place, Naruto-kun!" Lee shouted behind Naruto, startling him. "Give it your all and let our fires burn brightly enough to-"

"He means 'good luck' in the test," said Tenten with a sigh.

Naruto looked at them. Lee was the same as ever, in his green clothes and bowl-cut, energetic and enthusiastic. The girl, Tenten if he remembered Lee's description of his teammates, looked rather nervous. Strange. Why would she be nervous? Aside from the whole Chuunin exam thing, and he didn't think any teammate of Lee's would be nervous about that.

A quick glance to her side and Naruto knew the reason. Neji Hyuuga, the third member of Team Gai. Naruto knew from Lee that Neji was a prodigy, like Sasuke, and a bit of an asshole… like Sasuke! Not that Lee phrased it that way – that would be most unyouthful – but Naruto could read between the lines.

"Hey!" said Naruto cheerfully, outstretching a hand to Neji. "Pleased to meet you Neji-san, Lee told me so much about you! I'm Uzumaki Naruto."

Neji glanced at Naruto's hand like it was the most disgusting thing he had ever seen and straightened himself up.

"Oh fine, have it your way," said Naruto. "I know the drill, I have a guy just like you in my team already."

"Really?" asked Neji with barely hidden contempt. "I suppose your refereeing to the Uchiha."

"His name is Sasuke," said Naruto. The Uchiha may be an ass, but he was Naruto's ass!

Wait… that didn't come out right…

"Fate has decreed that you will loose today," said Neji. "No matter how much you try to worm your way into people's good graces you will always be a failure."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, we need to go now," said Tenten, backing away and dragging her two teammates with her. "Good luck and all, see you at the final exam, bye!"

Naruto watched them go, glaring at the Hyuuga's back and fuming. What the fuck was that all about? Fate? Failure? He hadn't been given that kind of crap for a while now, and it hearing it made him want to punch someone.

A Hyuuga someone. What the hell was the deal with that guy, anyway? At least Sasuke had the excuse of having his entire clan slaughtered.

Oh well, Anko was here so they could finally start this damn exam. The whole 'threat of invasion' thing had sapped any enthusiasm for the event he might have otherwise had, and now he just wanted to corner the Sand team and wring some information out of them. Oh yes, Sasori promised to tell him everything when this was done, but patience was never Naruto's strong side. If he does manage to incapacitate the other jinchuuriki and disable his teammates, it won't hurt to slap a mind control seal on them and make them talk, right?

Loosing Sasuke and Sakura was easy, and locating Gaara even easier – the sand jinchuuriki had a very distinctive chakra signature, almost certainly because of the massive amounts of demonic chakra constantly seeping into his coils. With luck, he should be done in a couple of hours, and Sasuke and Sakura will barely notice he was gone. How much trouble can they get themselves in within a few measly hours?

He wondered how Kabuto was going to find him in this giant forest without a sensor seal like the one Naruto had, but it turned out he didn't have to find him. They were after the same target, after all, so all he had to do was find Gaara and wait for Naruto to show up. Gaara, it turned out, made no attempt to hide whatsoever, even from mundane scrutiny.

"So what is the plan?" Naruto asked.

"You tell me," shot back Kabuto. "You're in charge of this operation."

"Me?" asked Naruto incredulously. He had assumed that age alone would make Kabuto the leader here, to mention nothing of his greater experience.

"Sasori's orders," Kabuto confirmed. "Besides, I have watched the target for a while now, and I'm sad to say I have nothing in my arsenal that could take him down. He already killed two teams and the exam has barely started. Since I have no idea of the full extent of your abilities, you're the only one who knows best what you can do to incapacitate him."

"What can you tell me about them?" asked Naruto after a moment of silence.

"The jinchuuriki seemed to be based solely on using the sand for both offense and defense. He prefers to remain still and relies on his sand to protect him from anything coming his way."

"So if I sneak up on him from behind…" tried Naruto.

Kabuto shook his head. "The sand defense is automatic. It must be controlled by the demon itself."

"Crap. Still, not moving is a pretty serious weakness. Maybe he can't attack unless he really concentrates on it. How does he use his sand to attack?"

"He crushes people," said Kabuto with a nasty grin. "He lets his enemies try whatever they want on him for a few minutes, and then his sand catches them and he crushes them. Very… _sadistic_."

"You say that like you admire him," scowled Naruto.

"I do, in a way," said Kabuto. "He's quite an interesting person. I do hope you'll let me study him while you're designing a suppression overlay for his seal, the long-term effect of demonic chakra on a human body is such an interesting topic…"

"That's assuming we can incapacitate him at all," mumbled Naruto. "And what about his teammates? The girl is obviously a fan user, but what about the… the… he's a guy, right?"

"Kankuro. Yes, he's a guy. I'm pretty sure he's a puppeteer, though truthfully neither he nor the girl participated in any fights so far. They just stay back and let Gaara deal with anyone they come across. I think they're afraid to get in between him and his kills."

Naruto sighed. It was disappointing that his fellow jinchuuriki ended up like that, and Naruto couldn't help but wonder what his life was like, but he wouldn't let his compassion get in the way again. A situation like the one with Zabuza and Haku would not be repeated – Gaara was an enemy and would get treated as such. Then he remembered what Kabuto said the moment earlier and grinned.

"Puppeteer?" said Naruto excitedly.

"Naruto…" warned Kabuto.

"What?" Naruto protested. "We're supposed to neutralize his teammates anyway. Sasori never specified the means. A puppet battle qualifies. Hell, I bet Sasori would heartily approve!"

"Maybe," conceded Kabuto. "But how exactly do you plan on preventing the other two from interfering?"

"Oh that's easy," said Naruto. He flipped through a handful of hand seals and the pond beside Gaara's team erupted into thick white mist that covered the entire area.

"Take care of the girl," said Naruto, immediately performing another technique. "I don't need her blowing away the mist with her fan. My earth clones will keep Gaara busy while I fight the puppeteer."

And with that, Naruto summoned a dozen earth clones and jumped into the mist.

- break -

Kankuro wasn't worried about the mist at first. It was a preparation for an attack, yes, but all the genin candidates in this test were a joke in his humble opinion. As seconds went past, though, he began to feel a little worried – why hadn't his sister blown this thing away already? And everything was eerily silent, too.

"Hi!"

Kankuro whirred around, coming to face the blond genin they met a few days earlier before the exam. The little brat seemed to be alone - Kankuro tried to subtly check his surroundings for the blonde's teammates, but the mist was ruining his environmental awareness. What the hell was Temari doing!

For that matter, what was Gaara doing? There was no way that little psycho would stand on the sidelines when an opportunity to spill blood came to him like this.

"Man, don't tell me you came here all by yourself?" said Kankuro mockingly, hoping to get the boy to reveal his hand. "You need at least 10 little squirts like yourself to even threaten me."

"Yes, yes, 'I'm powerful' this, 'you suck' that… why don't we skip the dick-waving and go straight to the puppet battle, shall we?" the blond said, retrieving a scroll from his belt.

"Puppet battle?" said Kankuro incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me. What would a Konoha ninja like you know-"

It was impossible – the sand zealously guarded the secrets of puppeteering, to the point of assassinating ninja who were trying to develop similar abilities without help from stolen Suna knowledge. Only a tiny number of people had access to the puppet schematics necessary to build one, buying one was only possible through special channels, and learning the ins and outs of puppeteering required apprenticeship to an established puppeteer. There was no way for a random Konoha genin to get a hold of even one puppet, let alone five!

"What the hell is this!" Kankuro stuttered. He was definitely looking at a collection of puppets, even if they were unfamiliar ones. "Who are you?"

The centipede-like puppet coiled protectively around the blond unhinged it's mandibles and Kankuro got the feeling he should move.

"Think fast," the blond said.

Kankuro wasn't particularly physically fit, but he was no slouch either. He dived to the side, evading the jet of water aimed at him, and unwrapped his puppet from the bindings. He had no idea what was going on but he wasn't going to just stand around and take it.

It took less than a minute for Kankuro to conclude that he had no chance against the Konoha genin, if he was indeed a genin, and not some kind of ANBU sent to take him and his team out before the invasion. The blond was controlling 5 puppets at once, each one better than Kankuro's own, and Kankuro was too confused to think clearly. How the hell did a Konoha ninja come in possession of these puppets? Was Kankuro fighting a rogue Suna ninja in disguise? Questions swarmed his mind, making it hard to concentrate on the fight itself. Which was bad, because his opponent was clearly becoming agitated.

"Is this all?" the blond asked crankily. "Is this really all a Suna puppeteer can do? I know you're still a genin, but this is just pathetic. I was hoping to test my skills against you, but it seems I've got nothing to learn from you."

Before Kankuro could return, the two flea-shaped puppets sprung into the air, launching a hail of needles at Kankuro from two different directions. Kankuro would have scoffed at the attempt to box him in, had the blond not taken advantage of Kankuro's evasion to attack Karasu. A jet of pressurized water slammed into Kankuro's beloved puppet, turning it into splinters and sawdust in an instant. All Kankuro could do was stare in shock at the remains. He barely registered the when the next batch of needles from the flea puppets embedded itself into him, but the poison-induced sleepiness was hard to miss.

"You destroyed… Karasu…" growled Kankuro at the Konoha ninja, swaying dangerously. "I swear… I'll come back from hell itself to haunt you…"

"Oh that won't be necessary," the blond said cheerfully. "We'll see each other in the flesh soon enough. I need you alive, after all."

Too tired to think about what that meant, Kankuro simply collapsed into unconsciousness.

- break -

'Well…' though Naruto to himself. 'This was disappointing.'

"Naruto!" bellowed Gaara from deeper inside the mist, making himself heard even through the sound-dampening effects of the 'hidden mist' technique. "You think clones can bring me down! Do not mock me, Naruto! I want a real fight, with an enemy that screams and bleeds! Quit hiding and fight me, one monster versus another!"

Naruto directed Centipede to fire a jet of water in the direction of Gaara's crazed rant. He didn't know if he hit anything, but he was rewarded by two sand projectiles flying towards him. Fortunately for Naruto, Beetle and Centipede could halt them without falling apart.

Naruto narrowed his eyes and thought about the situation he found himself in. He couldn't afford to slowly escalate this conflict – if Gaara was anything like him when he draws on the fox, he could shrug off anything Naruto threw at him, including knockout poisons. His eyes widened. Of course! The fox! True, he hated using it, but surely fighting against a psychopathic jinchuuriki counted as an emergency.

"**Absolutely,"** agreed the fox in the back of his mind. **"Only a bijuu can stand up to another bijuu."**

Naruto sealed away his puppets and dodged another sand projectile Gaara launched at him, and then drew on the fox's tainted chakra. The feeling was amazing – it was like raw power was coursing through his veins and he felt like he could do anything! His vision became tinted in red and bloodlust threatened to overwhelm his mind, but he somehow summoned enough self control to resist charging at Gaara in mindless rage and pulled out a sealing tag he prepared before the exam started.

_Then_ he charged. And boy was it a charge worth remembering – powered by the fox's demonic chakra, he moved so fast the entire world blurred for a moment, his eyes unaccustomed to dealing with such speeds. Then, he was in front of shocked Gaara, who barely had enough time to brace himself when Naruto slammed his fist into the other jinchuuriki's face. Driven by the bloodlust, Naruto slammed into Gaara again and again, the sealing tag forgotten in his hand. Sand swirled around Gaara, futilely trying to protect him and failing – Naruto currently had enough raw strength to simply punch through Gaara's sand barriers.

Finally, Gaara recovered enough presence of mind to react to this new development… and the first thing he did was scream. The high-pitched keening broke Naruto out of his own trance, and he watched horrified as sand swirled excitedly around Gaara, sticking to him and forming some kind of monster overlaid over the red-headed child.

"**Fuck,"** hissed Naruto, his own voice sounding alien to him.

Before Gaara could finish his transformation, Naruto blurred in front of him and slapped the sealing tag on his chest. He had expected screaming, but instead Gaara's eyes just glazed over and he collapsed on the ground like a wet napkin.

Wow. This whole thing was not nearly as hard as he imagined it would be.

"**I told you should use my power,"** the fox said smugly. **"Did you see how **_**easy**_** everything is when you let go of your paranoid inhibitions and work with me? You should-"**

Naruto let the Kyuubi's chakra recede from his system, almost collapsing from withrawl shock. It was creepy how weak he felt without… wait a minute! He quickly performed a diagnostic technique on himself and hissed angrily when he got the results.

"Fox…" Naruto growled out loud. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't notice how much _damage_ your chakra did to me? How many years of my life did I just shave with this stunt!"

"**A few,"** Kyuubi admitted.

"And you never-" Naruto stopped himself. Of course the fox never saw fit to mention this. For some reason, the fox was trying to encourage him to use its power, and knowing about the downsides was only going to interfere with that goal. "You know what? I'm not talking to you anymore."

Wisely, the fox chose not to say anything anymore.

It took him two minutes to repair the worst of the damage, during which the mist finally dispersed and Kabuto saw fit to finally show himself.

"Took you long enough," said Naruto. "The girl didn't look that tough."

"Ah, no, she wasn't," said Kabuto. "She too much of a long-range fighter to stand up to me. But we can't really leave her and the puppeteer out here in the open where anyone and anything can kill them, can't we? They have to be alive if Gaara is to pass to the next stage of the test. And since you didn't seem to worry about that…"

"So what did you do with them?" asked Naruto curiously.

"I made a makeshift shelter for them and covered it with a genjutsu," said Kabuto. "We can put Gaara there as well once you're finished with him."

"Right. I suppose I should start right now before- Ah!"

"What is it?" said Kabuto, slipping into a combat stance.

Naruto clutched his aching wrist harder and closed his eyes.

"The alarms I placed on a certain scroll are going off like mad," said Naruto finally, opening his eyes and locking his eyes with Kabuto's. "It seems my teammates managed to get themselves into serious trouble after all."

- break -

When Naruto reached his teammates, Kabuto trailing behind him with Gaara slung across his back, it was all over. Whomever the attackers were, they worked fast. Fortunately, they didn't appear interested in killing, because both Sasuke and Sakura were alive. Sakura more than Sasuke though: the last Uchiha was lying on a makeshift bed, muttering incoherently as he twisted in restless sleep. Sakura watched over him, deathly pale and quiet. She panicked when they approached, at first, but calmed down after a few seconds. She didn't attack him for leaving them alone like he did, or even shout at him, and this scared Naruto more than anything.

He should have known something was wrong when the operation 'retrieve Gaara' went so smoothly. Why did it have to be like this? Every time things so his way some kind of crap always surfaces to ruin his day.

"Sakura," said Naruto cautiously, "what happened here?"

"The grass ninja came," she said blandly. "It was horrible, I could see myself dying over and over again and I couldn't even _move_. She said she came for Sasuke, and she bit him. Right here in the neck."

Naruto looked at the spot Sakura indicated and breathed deeply in shock.

"Orochimaru's cursed seal," said Naruto.

"Yes!" shouted Sakura. "That's the name she droped at the end, before she left! She told me to make sure Sasuke didn't die, as if I knew how! I'm not a medic! I don't know how to do that! It's your fault! We're teammates and we should have stuck together! If you've been here then maybe-"

Naruto enveloped Sakura in a hug to calm her down. He felt rather guilty about this whole thing, and besides… she should really tone it down a little unless she wants to summon every enemy team in the vicinity to their location.

"I'm sorry Sakura, I screwed up," said Naruto. "But look on the bright side: I know what was done to Sasuke and how to treat it. And look! This here is Kabuto, my teacher in the medic-nin arts. Sasuke will be up and running in no time."

Sakura focused her attention to Kabuto, who grinned good-naturedly and waved back at her.

"Naruto," said Sakura cautiously. "Who is that buy he's carrying on his shoulder?"

"Oh that's just Gaara," said Naruto dismissively, hoping she won't be too curious. "I've got some unspecified business with him so we brought him along."

"Unspecified business?" asked Sakura incredulously.

"_Very_ unspecified," confirmed Kabuto with a creepy grin.

"Just… help Sasuke, okay?" Sakura said.

It was easier said than done. While Naruto had found a way to block the cursed seal on Anko, he neglected the possibility that Orochimaru refined his seal since that time. And he did. The seal on Sasuke was far more complex, and Naruto wasn't dealing with a healthy person that could withstand the sealing process with ease – Sasuke was on the verge of dying as it is, what with all the far-reaching changed the seal was inducing in his body. And on top of that, Naruto had to seal away Gaara before the suppression seal wore off, unless he wanted a very irate, very destructive jinchuuriki going psycho on him.

Since Gaara was a more pressing concern, he fobbed off Sasuke to Kabuto while he concentrated on sealing the red-head. With Kabuto stabilizing Sasuke, there was very little chance of his broody teammate dying, so he could wait for a while. As a bonus, Kabuto would examine this new seal Orochimaru had used, saving Naruto some time when he finishes things on his end.

The best way to describe the seal that contained Shukaku in Gaara's body would be 'inadequate'. 'A hack-job' was not uncalled for, either. Some of the horrible design choices could be explained by the desire to let the host access its demon to a greater degree than a regular jinchuuriki could, but even that couldn't excuse all of them. In particular, the fact that Gaara's mind hadn't been shielded from possession could only be explained by incompetence, as Naruto doubted Sand wanted this 'feature'.

Naruto knew that designing an overlay was going to be no easy feat, but this was just irritating. He couldn't simply seal away Shukaku completely because Gaara was even more dependant on demonic chakra for survival than Naruto was, and because the boy had to be strong enough to pass on to the next phase of the exam. He also found himself feeling somewhat sorry for boy in front of him. In Gaara he saw what could have become of him had Sasori not came along, and had the Old Man not protected him from the brunt of the villagers' wrath. Of course, this compassion didn't prevent Naruto from embedding a suicide switch in the back of Gaara's neck, set to activate if Gaara ever lets Shukaku loose.

The suicide switch was a crude and unreliable solution, but Naruto just didn't know what else to do – the seal was so lossy and broken that blocking Shukaku out of Gaara's mind was virtually impossible… if Gaara wanted him to take over. So Naruto settled for fortifying Gaara's abilities to fight off possession while adding a motivator for Gaara to fight against possession at all costs. He also capped the amount of demonic chakra Gaara would be able to draw – he should still be capable of handling the genin in the test, but he would not be able to constantly escalate the fight to ever greater degrees of destructiveness.

After spending nearly 24 hours in his mindscape and expending most of his chakra to compress Gaara's brand new seal, Naruto was barely keeping himself conscious, so he simply dropped to the ground and closed his eyes for some well deserved rest.

- break -

Kidomaru carefully secreted a kunai into his hand, his eyes glued to his target. Closer, closer… that's right, just a little more-

"Kidomaru!" sounded Tayuya's shrill voice. "What the fuck are you doing!"

"It's that bird over there," Kidomaru said. "I don't like how its looking at us."

"Leave the fucking bird alone and pay attention to the fucking target!" Tayuya spat.

"Who the hell made you the leader!" Kidomaru protested.

"Both of you shut up or I'll kill you," Kimmimaro spoke calmly. "You're going to alert Uzumaki to our presence. There is no room for mistakes in this endeavor."

Kidomaru narrowed his eyes. He missed Sakon and Jirobu. He never thought he'd say that, but he did. Kimmimaro was an asshole, and Kidomaru wished the sickly bastard stayed connected to the life-support machines instead of bossing them around like this. Besides, what was so hard about this mission anyway? The kid was sleeping, for Kami's sake! They should just snipe off the pink-haired girl and the medic and move in. Problem solved. Kidomaru could do it all by himself.

Finally, after 5 minutes of pointless deliberation, the attack was ready to begin – Kimmimaro and Tayuya were already in position, having surrounded the makeshift camp their target resided in, while Kidomaro stayed where he is, as this was a perfect position for him to fire from. He fired an arrow into the grey-haired medic, signaling the start of the operation.

The first sign that something was wrong was when the arrow passed through the medic like he wasn't there. The second was when Kimmimaro failed to burst into the clearing like he was supposed to.

The third was when Kidomaro heard a flutter or wings behind him. He turned around just in time for the bird he wanted to kill earlier to explode right into his face, killing him.

Sound Team's attack didn't start well.


	13. Breaking Point

'And the whole thing started so well!' mentally whined Naruto as he dove to the side, narrowly avoiding the bone projectiles Kaguya launched at him. The moment his hands touched the ground he coiled his whole body like a spring and flipped beck to his feet, evading Kaguya's attempt to spear him through with a bone sticking out of his palm. Naruto's bandages lashed out against the bone wielder, only to get deflected by bone spikes that suddenly shot out from various parts of Kaguya's body.

"Hey, Hedgehog-san, why are you after me anyway?" asked Naruto in the momentary lull in the battle. The Kaguya frowned – though whether it was because of the nickname Naruto gave him or because of the question he asked, Naruto couldn't tell – and renewed his attack.

Naruto gritted his teeth as he deflected the attack with a makeshift shield made from his bandages. Him and his thrice-damned curiosity. If he had only killed the Kaguya immediately, like he did with the multi-armed archer teammate of his, he wouldn't be in this position right now. But nooooo, he had to try and interrogate him, to find out who they were and why were they were after him. Capture the obvious leader, he had thought. He looks sickly and weak anyway, he had thought. You'd think he, of all people, would know that appearances could be deceiving.

There was a loud crash somewhere in the vicinity and Naruto frowned. Kabuto and Sakura were supposed to deal with the redheaded girl, but clearly she was no pushover either. The massive chakra flare his sensor seal detected from their direction a while ago worried him – no genin should be able to produce something like that. For that matter, the Kaguya was no genin either. He thanked his lucky star that he had the sense to kill their third teammate outright – he'd probably be already dead if he had to dodge arrows on top of everything.

"Are there any _actual genin_ in this exam?" mumbled Naruto to himself, before throwing the scroll that contained his puppets in the air. Hopefully Sakura will stay away and won't see anything incriminating, but at this point he didn't care – the Kaguya was going to kill him if he doesn't start fighting his seriously.

He had a faint hope that the sudden appearance of his puppets would make the Kaguya freeze in his tracks and give him a second or two to kill him before he can gather his wits, but it was not to be. The grim-faced bone user was utterly unfazeable, and dodged Centipede's guillotine-like mandibles with contemptuous ease. It just wasn't fair! Not only did the guy had flawless control over his bloodline (which should be extinct, but never mind), he also moved with unearthly grace that allowed his to dodge and block everything Naruto sent his way.

Still, with Centipede and Beetle defending him, Naruto was immune to Kaguya's attacks, and the man was reduced to evading various weaponry Naruto's puppets launched at him. After he realized that overwhelming force won't work, Naruto refrained from wasting his puppets ammunition supply and instead focused on tiring his opponent out and outmaneuvering him. The Kaguya, for all his skills, was clearly in bad health and had trouble breathing – his stamina would not last much longer.

The Kaguya seemed to realize this, because he suddenly stopped and gave Naruto a hard glare.

"I will not fail him," he said calmly, and Naruto had the urge to ask him who exactly is 'him'. The Kaguy continued in an ominous tone. "He has called for your death, and he shall have it. Even if it's the last thing I ever do."

"Fuck," Naruto said. This is the kind of admission immediately followed by a suicide technique. The top of beetle split open and launched 3 cylinders full of explosive notes at the man, and Centipede wrapped itself protectively around Naruto to shield him from the blast.

A massive explosion tore the trees around Kaguya to pieces and kicked up a cloud of dust that obscured the entire area. For a couple of seconds Naruto was certain this was it as far as the Kaguya was concerned, but a brown blur shot out of the mist, smashing Roach to bits and charging at him.

The pale, sickly appearance of the Kaguya was gone, and in his place stood an almost literal demon – a dark-skinned humanoid with a tail and a multitude of bone spikes jutting from his back, gripping what appeared to be his own spine in his hand.

Naruto snapped the chakra string connecting him to the fleas and roach. He doubted he would get enough time to reform Roach, and the fleas were useless against this kind of opponent – they were delicate, precise weapons, and the monstrous Kaguya had already survived a massive explosion with no visible consequences.

The monster in front of him swung with the spine in his hand, and Centipede contorted itself to deflect the blow. Naruto idly observed the deep groves carved in the wood by the Kaguya's weapon, and directed Centipede to close its mandibles around Kaguya's torso. This close, his opponent couldn't dodge and the mandibles bit deep into the tainted flesh, only to get stopped by the nigh-impenetrable bone of Kaguya's ribcage. Naruto realized he should have directed Centipede to bite lower, into Kaguya's stomach, but before he could correct his mistake the man swung his spine again. Centipede contorted itself again around Naruto, still gripping the Kaguya in its jaws, but instead of rebounding of Centipede's wooden carapace the weapon suddenly became flexible enough to bend around its body and spear Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto screamed and instinctively directed Centipede to fling Kaguya into a nearby tree before the man could capitalize on his sudden weakness. Only dimly aware of where the bone-user landed due to the pain-induced blindness, Naruto directed Beetle to shower the entire area with poisoned needles, hoping to delay the man until he recovers a bit. Fortunately, whatever technique Kaguya was seemed to be making him more than a little reckless, because he mindlessly charged straight at Naruto without a single evasive maneuver. A jet of water that slammed him into the tree again put an end to that.

It was a testament to the Kaguya's resilience that the high-pressure jet didn't tear him apart outright. Instead it only left a deep gauge across his chest and left him unable to move. The technique he was using expired and his body revered to his original appearance.

With great difficulty, the Kaguya managed to raise his head to glare definitely at Naruto, just before the blond jinchuuriki slammed a kunai into his eye-ball, killing him on the spot.

His task done and his adrenaline rush receding, Naruto sank to the ground and clutched his shoulder. Waves of pain were radiating from it, and he was tempted to call upon the fox to heal him. But he wouldn't – there was something rotten about using fox's chakra, and he wasn't going to use it until he finds out what it was. Instead he did his best to heal his wound with a standard medical technique – it wouldn't heal him completely but it would be better than just leaving it to bleed.

He barely closed the wound when Sakura's unconscious body skidded across the ground in front of him. Naruto whirred around, only to come face to face with the third member of the supposed 'genin team' that just tried to assassinate him. He knew that Sakura wasn't dead because she carried a sensor scroll that told him as much, but Kabuto was nowhere in sight and that worried him.

"Your asshole friends were good, but not good enough," the redhead leered. "The medic more so than the pink-haired whore, but then again she's an actual genin unlike you and him."

Naruto quickly looked over her. Despite her confident behavior, she was radiating anxiety. She was doing an admirable effort to hide it, but her entire body was shaking lightly from obvious exhaustion. She was barely even standing.

But Naruto wasn't exactly in top shape himself.

"You are exhausted and your teammates are dead," Naruto said, trying to evade battle. "You are in state to fight me. Just flee, okay? There is no need for you to die here."

She smirked, and before Naruto could do anything she brought a flute to her lips, producing the most horrible sound Naruto ever heard in his life.

The ear-splitting tune echoed inside Naruto's mind, tearing at his mind. Amplified by his sensitive-hearing, the sound-based technique was utterly irresistible. An almost tangible wall of vertigo slammed into him and he sank to his knees and vomited. All rational thought left him, leaving behind only desperate, unfocused desire to make the horrible noise _stop_! He rolled around the ground pitifully, his eyes shut, his hands pressed against his ears so tightly it hurt in a futile attempt to block out the sound.

Abruptly, the noise stopped. It took Naruto a few seconds to recover enough to open his eyes, and he found himself staring at the horrified face of the redheaded girl that incapacitated him. She was clutching a kunai in her hand, her arm raised in an overhead strike that was surely meant to end Naruto's life. Yet despite the hostile gesture, she was motionless and clearly frightened out of her mind. After a few moments Naruto's vision cleared some more and he suddenly realized why she was so scared – everything except her face and hand was enveloped in a cocoon of sand.

'Out of the frying pan and into the fire' though Naruto as he felt sand swirling around his body.

- break -

It was strange, Gaara reflected. One moment he was fighting against Uzumaki Naruto, and the next he was lying in some kind of makeshift shelter with another boy beside him. He had no memory of anything in between those two moments. Gaps in memory like these were a fairly common occurrence for Gaara, but usually whenever he blanked out he found himself surrounded by rubble and corpses upon coming to his senses. This time, everything seemed peaceful. Mother's ranting was reduced to nothing but a hateful whisper, so soft he could almost pretend it wasn't there if he tried, and he felt surprisingly good. Calm. Clear-headed.

Rested.

Then a deafening explosion broke his reverie, causing him to bolt upright in a swirl of sand. His sand felt, for the lack of a better term, sluggish, but Gaara dismissed it as aftereffects of whatever technique Uzumaki Naruto did to him. The blond genin defeated him with humiliating ease, a fact that Gaara filed away in the back of his mind for the moment. He would think about his defeat later – right now he had to find out where he was and how much time has past. After throwing a glance to the dark-haired boy lying next to him and confirming he was no threat, Gaara started walking towards the cloud of dust he could see in the distance.

He reached the site just as the red-headed girl was about to kill the blond… child… that had defeated him. No, that wasn't right – Naruto was no child. He was a monster, just like Gaara. He told him so right when they met. Gaara had felt the blond's bloodlust when they fought earlier, seen the murderous crimson eyes that demanded his death, and he knew the boy's claim to be true. This girl, whomever she was, had no right to end the boy's existence – that honor was reserved for Gaara, and Gaara alone. Besides, he wanted answers, ones he suspected only Naruto could give him. He willed it, and his sand shot out, encasing the surprised girl in a cocoon of sand. She was clearly exhausted, because she didn't even notice the sand until it was too late, much less try to dodge it.

Noticing that his control over his sand was still suffering, he tried to tap deeper into the demon's power, only to find that he could not. A jolt of fear ran down his spine. What the hell was going on? He looked at the blond genin moaning on the ground. It was him, Gaara was sure of it. He directed his sand to encase the blond as well, before the boy could recover and make a fool out of him again. He considered crushing the red-headed girl like a grapefruit, if only because he wanted some privacy for his upcoming talk/interrogation with the blond, but in his current state that would take a lot out of him, and he needed every advantage he could get in case Naruto uses his strange red power again. The girl didn't even try to escape, so he applied just enough pressure to keep her paralyzed but otherwise conserved his power.

He was just about to strengthen his hold on Naruto when he felt something click around his neck, holding him in place.

Though the pressure exerted on his neck was light and barely perceptible, Gaara knew better than try to wrench himself free. Turning his head slightly, he could see a huge wooden centipede behind him, its mandibles ready to decapitate him at a moment's notice.

Gaara had seen enough puppets in his life to recognize one, but the sight was shocking nonetheless. How… what…

"Why don't you let go of me and I will do the same to you?" the blond genin said conversationally. "Seriously, the sand itches."

Gaara stared at the boy in front of him, not understanding anything. Questions swarmed in his mind for a second, before one particular question bubbled up at the forefront of his mind.

"This shouldn't be happening!" Gaara blurted out. "My automatic sand defense-"

"Yeah, I kind of disabled that," Naruto said with a sigh. "Or more precisely, it was a side effect of blocking Shukaku's ability to interface with you."

"What?" Gaara asked, still uncomprehending.

"I know you're planning on setting Shukaku loose in the middle of Konoha," Naruto said. "I can't allow that. But I can't kill you either, so I knocked you out and tweaked your seal while you were sleeping. Unfortunately, you're so tightly bonded to your demon that I couldn't just cut you off from him, but it will not be able to aid you as directly as it did before. Your automatic defense no longer works because Shukaku has no control of it anymore – if you want your sand to defend you, you will have to direct it yourself."

A wave of terror gripped Gaara's heart, thought he managed to keep him face impassive with the help of his sand armor. His automatic defense was the only thing keeping him alive up to this point. Sure, he could direct his sand on his own, but he didn't have eyes on the back of his head and his reactions were nowhere near fast enough to deal with Jounin opponents. He'll be dead within days – his own countrymen will jump at the chance to finally end his cursed existence. The only this acting as a deterrent right now was-

"Oh, I almost forgot," continued Naruto after a short silence. "I also placed a suicide switch on you – if you are ever possessed by Shukaku, you will die. Hope you can keep your demon under control."

Gaara stared at the blond impassively, but inside his mind he was a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions.

"Undo it," he ordered finally.

"No," Naruto stated flatly.

Gaara's eyes narrowed in frustration. He was unused to people denying him things, especially with such directness. "I could crush you," he intoned threateningly.

"I could chop your head off," shot back Naruto, twitching his fingers and causing the wooden centipede to tighten its grip on Gaara's neck.

Gaara gritted his teeth, trying to think up a solution for his present dilemma and failing. A situation like this was a complete out-of-context problem for the red-head. His usual reaction to confusing situations was to use copious amounts of sand and demonic energies to lay waste to the entire area he was currently in, and he was physically incapable of doing that right now. He could go in for the kill, but there was no doubt that the puppet could close its jaws quicker than he could constrict his sand. Besides, Mother wasn't screaming at him, inciting him to violence, and he found her absence to be confusing and even a little bit scary.

The fact was, he was no match for Naruto at the moment. His sand was useless, and he didn't have any other skills worth mentioning. His automatic defense had made him invulnerable and his sand had never been defeated – why would be bother learning anything else. His instructors never encouraged him to learn anything more, either.

Gaara started shaking, staring at the ground in front of him. His world was crashing down around him, and it was all Uzumaki Naruto's fault. How did he defeat him? How had he modified his seal? How did he learn puppeteering? Why was he doing this?

The swirling maelstrom of thoughts suddenly halted and Gaara's muscle tremors stilled. His head snapped up, the puppet's jaws scraping against his sand armor, and his fixed Naruto with an intense stare full of clarity and determination.

"I don't understand," Gaara stated.

Naruto blinked in surprised, before cocking his head to the side in a curious manner.

"Understand what?"

"I asked people about you. The people of this village… they hate you. Fear you. Wish you were dead. I suspected even then, and now that I have faced you in battle, felt your thirst for bloodshed as we tried to end each other's existence… I am certain. I know what you are, Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruto stared at Gaara impassively, his face betraying nothing.

"Why do you protect people that hate you?" pressed Gaara.

"I…" Naruto hesitated. "I want to be Hokage. A Hokage protects the people of his village. All of them. I can't… I have to protect them."

"Why would you want to lead the village that despises you?" Insisted Gaara. "Do you not hate them? Do you not wish they suffer like you do? Why extend the hand of mercy to those that deny the truth of your existence. I don't understand it. Is it about power?"

"No!" Naruto shouted. "I want… I want them to respect me!"

"You are a demon," Gaara stated. "They will never respect you."

"I am not a demon," Naruto hissed. "I am a container for a demon."

"The people of this village consider you a demon," Gaara said, "and that's all that matters. If they say you're a demon, then you are. You don't decide your own identity – the people around you do. If people say you're a genius, you are. If they say you're generous, you are. If they say you're a demon-"

"Bullshit!" Naruto shouted, the jaws of his puppet clacking menacingly around Gaara's neck. "People's opinions aren't set in stone! Even if it takes years, I will change their perceptions. I will make them respect me… make them acknowledge me… I will be a Hokage, the best damn Hokage that ever was. And don't you doubt for a second that I can't do it!"

Gaara stared at the blond for a few tense seconds, watching as the blonde heaved heavily after his outburst.

"I believe you," the red-head said finally.

Naruto blinked in surprise. "You do?"

"Yes," Gaara said. "But…"

"There is always a but…" Naruto mumbled.

"Is it worth it?" asked Gaara softly.

"Huh? Speak louder, I got hit by a sonic attack recently."

"I asked is it worth it?" Gaara said louder. "Do you really want to sink yours of your life into this... endeavor. To toil away for years, maybe decades, suffering indignity after indignity, just for a chance of a few empty words of praise from your tormentors? Your situation doesn't seem to be quite as hopeless as mine is – you could make you're a life for yourself elsewhere. Somewhere where noone knows what you are… where the deck hasn't been stacked against you from the very beginning."

Naruto said nothing.

"You don't know," Gaara stated. It wasn't a question.

"Just release me before I decapitate you!" the blond snapped irritably.

After a tense couple of seconds, Gaara instructed his sand to recede, and immediately felt the puppet let go of his neck. It was at this moment that the red-headed girl decided to make a break for it. Since the sand cocoon around her was mostly for show at this point, she succeeded in breaking out of it, but immediately collapsed on her face when a bespectacled, grey-haired man dropped down on her from a nearby tree, knocking her unconscious.

"I was beginning to worry about you," Naruto remarked to the man.

"It's embarrassing but I kind of got a branch driven through my stomach and lost consciousness. It's always the little things that get to you," the grey-haired man said with pleasant smile.

"Right," sighed Naruto. "Gaara, why don't you leave now? You're teammates should be fine, so go find them and finish this exam. I'm sure we'll get plenty of opportunity to discuss life philosophies later."

Gaara considered this for a moment, before calmly turning away and stalking off in a random direction. He was clearly overmatched at the moment, and he needed to think before he committed himself to a course of action. Usually Mother would have incited him to bloodshed by now, consequences be damned, but she was reduced to a hateful whisper now – a testament to the power his fellow monster wielded over him.

"Gaara!" the blond called after him. Gaara stopped in his tracks but did not turn to face Naruto. "I realize you're an emotionally-stunted murderer that cannot really empathize with other people, but if you kill or seriously hurt any of the Konoha ninja in this exam, I'll skin you alive and leave you buried up to your neck next to an anthill. Did I make myself clear?"

Gaara continued walking, not bothering with an answer.

- break -

After helping Naruto stabilize Sakura, Kabuto left and took the sand kunoichi with him, claiming that the red-head has vital information about invasion plans that has to be brought to Sasori immediately. How he intended to make her talk Naruto didn't inquire – better for his peace of mind that way.

Despite the beating she took, Sakura was essentially all right. The leg fractures would take a few days to fully heal, but she suffered no irreversible damage (which probably said more about the sound nin's ignorance of where to strike than lack of desire to cripple the opponent; sometimes Naruto forgot that not every ninja is a medic-nin). Naruto still felt sorry for her, though. She spent so much time trying to improve herself, only to lose this badly when faced with an actual opponent. He knew that the sound kunoichi was not a genin, and that it was amazing that Sakura lasted as long as she did against her, but he also knew that Sakura would not see it that way. Emotions were funny that way.

With that out of the way, Naruto turned his attention to Sasuke and that thrice-damned cursed seal Orochimaru placed on him. Naruto didn't know whether to admire Orochimaru for making something so complex and powerful, or shudder at the thought of how many people had to die to refine the seal into what Naruto was currently looking at. Compared to the seal placed on Anko, Sasuke's cursed seal was _far_ more extensive.

For one thing, Sasuke's seal was trying to give him a bloodline. Or at least, that's what Naruto assumed - the seal was changing Sasuke's body on a cellular level (or rather, the biological concoction Orochimaru injected into Sasuke's bloodstream was doing that, and the seal was directing the changes), and what other purpose would it have to do that? Had Kabuto not stabilized Sasuke's vitals during the critical early phases of the process, it is doubtful Sasuke would have survived the process. The mortality rate of this improved cursed seal must be horrendous.

The seal was also patched directly into Sasuke's brain. _His brain_! Doesn't Orochimaru know how dangerous that is? He would have hit Kabuto over the head for not blocking these connections as they were forming, but the notes left by the grey-haired medic stated that the seal had temporarily taken over Sasuke's autonomous functions, so severing the connections would result in organ failure. The blasted seal behaved almost like a living being, adapting to everything Kabuto and Naruto tried to do. In any case, the seal used these neural connections to exert some kind of subtle effect on the brain – increasing aggression and decreasing empathy if Naruto was reading things correctly. Plus a compulsion to use the seal as often as possible. And a control switch that allowed Orochimaru to control the seal over short distances, causing a wide variety of effect – pain, activation of the seal, disruption of chakra usage… same thing that Anko had, so that part at least he already knew how to disable.

In addition to all of that, the cursed seal acted like a chakra battery, storing massive amounts of chakra that could then be dumped into the body in case of emergencies. A bunch of focusing circuits then directed this excess chakra into the users bones, skin, and muscles, making them stronger and faster but also damaging tissue. And Naruto thought that long-term effects of Kyuubi's chakra were bad – regular use of this thing would see the user dead in just a few years!

That is, unless the bloodline the seal was giving him wasn't somehow mitigating the effects. Which it probably did.

The thing was, whatever the bloodline was, it was dormant at the moment – Naruto didn't dare interrupt the implantation process after it had started in earnest, and it was pretty much done by now – which meant that either something went wrong or (more likely) that activating the bloodline required some kind of outside catalyst. Orochimaru, sly bastard that he was, probably used that as a carrot to dangle in front of people he gave the seal to. 'Join me and your seal won't kill you if you use it anymore.' And of course, due to the compulsion woven into the seal, almost everyone with the seal will use it fairly often, probably becoming addicted to its power by the time Orochimaru comes with the offer.

Naruto's face split into a nasty grin. He couldn't remove the seal, that much was obvious. But he could definitely remove the neural connections and neutralize the control switch. Both were more sophisticated than the ones on Anko, but it wasn't beyond his ability. As for the dormant bloodline, he was pretty sure he could induce it to activate by messing around with the seal – the two were so closely connected, after all. The end result, of course, would be Sasuke free of Orochimaru's influence and capable of using his cursed seal without becoming addicted or hurting himself. Orochimaru was going to have a heart attack when he finds out.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him and he frowned.

"It's weird helping Sasuke get stronger," he mumbled, and then set to work.

- break -

"Talk about arriving in the last possible moment," grumbled Kiba, handing a stack of paper bills to Shino. "Couldn't you have waited for another half an hour?"

"And fail the exam just so you can win a bet?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Not a chance."

"Bah," Kiba pouted. "What's with you three anyway? You arrive minutes before the deadline expires, torn and dirty like you were attacked by a wild animal…"

"We had a rough time, okay!" snapped Sakura.

'Rough time' was an understatement, at least as far as Sakura was concerned. First she spent the entire beginning portion of the exam worrying about Naruto, only to be attacked by an absurdly powerful grass ninja who turned out to be Orochimaru, and then she had both of her legs broken by a foul-mouthed red-head that insulted her in every imaginable way before knocking her unconscious. She then spent several days being lugged around like a total dead weight – by Naruto, of course, since Sasuke refused to so much touch her, let alone take turns carrying her. It was only yesterday that Naruto deemed her ready to walk on her own again, and she was still pretty wobbly.

The last thing she needed right now was a crass idiot like Kiba telling her she looks like a wild child. That was a 'pot calling the kettle black' situation, anyway.

"We were worried about you," Hinata said.

"Speak for yourself," Ino said snottily. "I _knew_ Sasuke-kun wouldn't let his team fail."

Sakura could see Ino glancing at her, hoping for some kind of reaction, but she was in no mood for bickering. Especially not about that… that… _that asshole_! After the way he treated her when she was injured, she was seriously reconsidering this whole 'true love' business.

The really amusing thing was that she could have actually helped him get stronger. She had woken up far sooner than Sasuke, and Naruto had explained to her exactly what he had done about Orochimaru's curse seal. How the curse had been modified into a blessing. Sakura had been surprised how jealous it made her of Sasuke to hear that. The way Naruto spoke about his 'newest masterpiece', Sakura wished she had been given the cursed seal instead! Sasuke didn't need that kind of power. He was already strong. She wasn't. In any case, with the neural connection severed, it took more than vogue emotions to activate the seal – and Naruto told Sakura precisely how Sasuke can activate it. For whatever reason, Naruto had no intention to tell Sasuke about it himself - it was entirely up to Sakura to decide when Sasuke is ready for that knowledge.

And right now, Sakura was leaning towards 'never'.

"…which is why we're going to have a preliminary round to cut down on the number of participants," finished the Hokage.

Sakura's attention snapped back to reality, where agitated murmurs were erupting from the gathered genin. Preliminaries? The hell? Sakura had spent the whole day walking just to get here in time – she was in no state to fight right now!

A sigh from the aging Hokage drew her attention back to the village leader.

"Normally I would have started the preliminaries by now," Sarutobi said. "But it seems the proctor is a bit late. Please talk amongst yourself while we wait for him."

Sakura glanced at Kakashi, just to make sure he was still there behind her. He was talking to the other two Jounin instructors without the care in the world. Or rather, reading his horrid porn while Kurenai and Asuma talked to each other. She was being silly, she realized - she was pretty sure it would be a conflict of interest to have a Jounin instructor of one of the contestants as a judge – but being late to something like this was right up his alley.

The next few minutes were a blur for Sakura. Her mind was furiously thinking about the upcoming preliminaries and how to come out on top. She was pretty weak, objectively speaking, and she was currently in a bad shape to boot. The simple truth was that unless she gets paired up with a particularly weak opponent, she was going to lose. Badly.

"We'll talk later," she heard Kurenai say. "The proctor is finally here."

All eyes zeroed in on a giant toad in the middle of the arena. A white-haired man in a strange get up was dancing on the toad's head, and there was a giant sign above them proclaiming to everyone that this was the world's sexiest man, the frog sage of myobokuzan – Jiraya! It was hard to read a toad's facial expressions, but it seemed to Sakura that the amphibian was embarrassed to be there.

"Troublesome," said Shikamaru. "It's an older, white-haired version of Naruto."

"Hey!" Naruto protested.

"Quiet down brats!" bellowed Jiraya, earning him the glare of virtually every genin in the room. "In case you haven't figured it out by now, I my name is Jiraya and I'll be the proctor of the preliminary round of Chuunin exams this year. The fights will be dangerous. I'll try to keep injuries to a minimum, but there is always a possibility you could die. With that in mind, is there anyone who would like to drop out now, before we begin?"

A brief surge of killer intent shifted Sakura's attention to a member of the Sand team in a black outfit and face-paint. The boy looked murderous as he looked in their direction, but it quickly became obvious he wasn't glaring at Konoha nins in general, but Naruto in particular. Naruto, for his part, seemed to be ignoring the boy's ire completely. Sakura supposed Naruto did something to the other boy while they were in the forest – he did bring that red-head unconscious to their campsite. Come to think of it, she still has to ask Naruto what that was all about.

"I'm afraid my teammates were incapacitated with some pretty nasty poison and are unable to compete right now," piped in a harmless-looking Konoha genin, adjusting his glasses and letting his grey hair fall over his eyes.

"Sakura…" began Naruto.

"No," said Sakura firmly. "I want to try."

"You had your legs broken just a few days ago," warned Naruto, and Sakura resisted the urge to wince at the shocked looks all the other rookies were giving her. "I know I'm a pretty good medic, but still… there is no way you have recovered."

"Then that just means I won't be engaging in any taijutsu, doesn't it?" said Sakura with a bit of an edge in her voice.

After a second of staring directly into Naruto's eyes, meeting his questioning gaze without flinching, he nodded in acceptance and shifted his attention back to the arena. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief and ignored the worrying looks everyone else was giving her. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing – she definitely knew it wasn't a _smart_ thing – but Kami, she needed to do this. She can't quit now, after all she suffered to get here. It can't… _mustn't_ have all been in vain.

After waiting for a couple of seconds more to make sure no one else would give up, Jiraya nodded to himself. "Very well. Let the preliminaries begin! The first match of the day is…" he pointed at the electronic board that was flashing rapidly through the names of Chuunin hopefuls, "Yamanaka Ino vs. Haruno Sakura!"

Sakura took a deep breath.

"Don't worry," Ino said haughtily. "I won't be rough, and it will all be over in a moment."

Sakura didn't say anything, opting to simply decent into the arena in silence.

"Are you two ladies ready?" asked Jiraya.

"Sure," said Sakura.

"Let's get this over with," Ino agreed.

If this fight turned into a taijutsu battle, Sakura would definitely loose. This was a fact. Fortunately, Sakura had massively improved her ninjutsu prowess ever since she'd gotten Kakashi's notes and training sword. Her chakra reserves were several times larger (not that amazing of a feat considering how puny they were originally) and her repertoire of techniques had expanded considerably. Kakashi probably didn't even realize how many techniques could be pieced together from those notes alone.

Still, if that was the extent of her ninjutsu abilities, she probably would have lost this battle anyway. As it were, she also mastered several exercises designed to develop her fire affinity, and she took the 'Naruto route' of modifying several fire techniques using her superior chakra control and fire mastery. Maybe, just maybe, she was going to win this one.

A signal was given, and Ino charged. Sakura had expected that, and was already flashing through hand seals.

"Phoenix flower!" Sakura yelled, and a swarm of tiny fire bolts sped towards her childhood friend and rival. Normally the phoenix flower bolts converged on the target rather inefficiently, but Sakura had learned that with good enough control, you could direct the bolts wherever you wished. The first wave of the bolts slammed into the ground in front of Ino, forcing her to halt her charge, while the subsequent waves forced her into retreat. Not one of them actually connected, but that was okay – they did what Sakura intended them to do.

Sakura launched a hail of kunai and shuriken at Ino, and her opponent responded in kind. With great effort, Sakura managed to stealthily ensnare Ino in a genjutsu during the third exchange. It was a subtle genjutsu, one that messed around with your opponent's depth perception in barely noticeable ways. Ino gave no indication that she noticed, even when her aim suddenly too a nose dive.

Knowing she was not going to last for long, Sakura flashed through the seals of Sasuke's signature technique. The Great Fireball technique was a surprisingly flexible technique, and Sakura found it relatively easy to modify it to her needs. In this particular case, she didn't want to fry Ino – she just needed a distraction.

A breathed the fireball, but instead of a modest-sized ball of concentrated fire, it came out as a massive dark red sphere that obscured the line of sight between Ino and Sakura completely. Sakura could hear Ino scream as the fireball hurled towards her, but she knew her friend was going to be alright. The modified fireball was nearly impossible to dodge, but it was little more than a glorified heat wave. It just _looked_ impressive and dangerous.

The fireball lost its coherency upon slamming into Ino, popping like a soap bubble, and doing little beside disorienting the shocked blonde. It was enough, though – before Ino could recover her wits, a pair of hands grabbed her ankles and pulled her into the ground up to her neck.

Silence reigned.

"Well, well, well," said Jiraya. "And here I thought this was going to be just a silly catfight. Good show, good show. Well miss Yamanaka, unless you have something up your sleeve, I pronounce Haruno Sakura the winner of the first round of preliminary exams!"

Sakura moved to unbury Ino, but Jiraya shooed her away, saying he'll take care of it. As she climbed up the stairs to the view deck of the arena, she couldn't help but smile at Naruto's cheers. The victory was… intoxicating. She could get used to this.

"Wow Sakura," breathed Naruto. "You were _awesome_! And here I thought a couple of leg fractures would hold you down. Hah! Shows what I know."

"Ino is going to be impossible now," Shikamaru sighed. "She was complaining we're not training enough for a while now, and it's only going to get worse after this. I think I hate you now."

"You're welcome," Sakura said cheerily. Not even Shikamaru's whining can foul up her mood right now.

"I knew you could do it," Kakashi piped in from behind her.

"Really?" asked Sakura suspiciously. It wasn't like Kakashi to give pats on the back for… well, anything. More than likely he would mock and belittle you.

"Oh yes," he nodded enthusiastically. "I was so sure I made a bet with Asuma and Kurnai. The team that sends most members into the finals wins their Jounin instructor-"

"Kakashi…" interrupted Sakura. "Just stop talking. Please?"

Kakashi shrugged and went back to his book.

"What was that technique you used?" Sasuke asked. "It looked like a Great Fireball but…"

Sakura ignored him. That felt good too. Before he could ask again, the match board started flashing again.

- break -

"Inuzuka Kiba vs. Temari of the Sand!"

Kiba whooped, pumping his fist into the air. "All right! This battle is ours, Akamaru. Let's show them how its done."

Akamaru yipped enthusiastically, jumping out of his master's arms and running towards the arena in excitement.

Naruto watched them go, amused at their antics. No doubt their behaviour made them seem immature to the other ninja in the room, but the two were a formidable force together, especially in straightforward battles such as the ones that are likely to be fought in these preliminaries. So long as he doesn't do anything particularly stupid, he would peg victory to him – Temari seemed to be a one-trick pony, a purely long-range combatant. Once Kiba gets properly going, he'll be too fast to be caught in her wind blasts, and the moment he closes in she's done for.

Evidently Temari didn't agree with Naruto's assessment, because she glided down off the balcony on her fan, a picture of perfect confidence. She didn't seem in the lest bit worried. Kiba and Temari both faced each other, sizing the other one up. Temari seemed to have reached her conclusion faster, because she immediately moved to psychological warfare.

"You should get rid of the puppy," Temari said in a bored voice. "It could get hurt."

"As if!" Kiba said. "Akamaru and I are partners! He's fighting with me!"

"Eh, fine," Temari said with a sigh. "Judging by your looks, you'll need the help anyway."

Kiba frowned at Temari's comment and dropped Akamaru to the ground, ordering it to stay out of the fight.

Naruto resisted the urge to groan. Joint attacks with Akamaru formed the core of Kiba's fighting style. The girl must have realized that the two of them could attack her from opposite direction, making it impossible to concentrate her slow but powerful attacks against any single one of them without exposing her back and flanks to the other, and was trying to remove that threat. And succeeding! Was Kiba really stupid enough to purposely cripple himself like this just because his opponent managed to rile him up? It couldn't possibly be that… the mere idea was giving him a headache. The Inuzuka boy definitely has some cunning plan in his sleeve.

"I don't need Akamaru to defeat a _girl_, anyway," Kiba said with a confident grin.

Naruto banged his head softly against the guardrails. Nope, no cunning plan at all.

Just an over-inflated ego crowding out common ninja sense.

"I am going to have a long talk with that boy when this is over," said Kurenai, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Begin," Jiraya shouted, and Kiba immediately rushed at Temari…

…only to be thrown back by a gust of wind and collide with the wall of the arena. Naruto cringed. It looked really painful. Kiba scrambled up but the sand girl didn't give him a chance to recover – she swung her fan once again, more forcefully this time, and Kiba impacted the wall again. He slumped at the floor, not to rise again. Akamaru rushed to his master, clearly in distress, but Naruto knew Kiba wasn't permanently harmed. He wouldn't get up from this, though.

"Well…" said Naruto. "That was fast."

"A _very_ long talk…" said Kurenai darkly.

"Right," Jiraya said after Kiba was carted away and Temari vacated the arena. "Next fight, Aburame Shino vs. Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Go Shino!" yelled Naruto. "Kick the bastard's ass!"

"Na-ru-to!" screeched Ino, swiping at him. She was disturbingly quiet even since her loss against Sakura, but apparently there were some things she just couldn't ignore. "You should be on Sasuke's side!"

"Oh?" asked Naruto with mock curiosity. "And why is that?"

"She's right, though," Kakashi piped in. "You should be cheering for your teammate, not his opponent."

"Shino is a better friend than Sasuke ever was," said Naruto.

"Still," Kakashi persisted.

Down in the arena, Sino and Sasuke were simply facing one another and staring. And staring. And staring.

Naruto was getting drowsy just looking at them – this was the most boring fight he had ever seen!

"You realize you've already lost, don't you Kurenai?" Kakashi whispered to the woman, though not quietly enough to avoid being heard by Naruto. "Even if Hinata wins her battle, that still leaves you with 1 victory compared to two of mine."

"You shouldn't assume Shino will lose," whispered Naruto, knowing that Kakashi will hear him just fine. "Shino is good. Perhaps… even better than me."

Suddenly Sasuke's sharingan blazed to life and he charged. It wasn't very surprising to Naruto – Sasuke _always_ opened with taijutsu. It was something the boy was extremely good at, and he judged everyone based on how easily the could stand up to him in close-quarter combat. It was the main reason Sasuke never took Naruto seriously, despite the blond's ability to kill him without much hassle – Naruto could never stand up to Sasuke in a pure taijutsu match, therefore he was weaker than Sasuke and had to rely on 'tricks' to win. He seemed to be getting better about it lately, but it seemed he simply isolated Naruto as a special case instead of reconsidering his behaviour in general.

Of course, Sasuke had his reasons for his belief – so long as you could force your opponent to engage in taijutsu, and good enough to win using it, you were well justified in favouring it over other ninja disciplines. An opponent engaged in taijutsu didn't have time to make hand seals.

Sadly for Sasuke, Shino was extremely good at taijutsu too. Better than he ever was when fighting against Naruto, the blond realized with a pang of annoyance. And unlike Sasuke, his taijutsu wasn't based on any fancy manoeuvres, so there was really nothing for Sasuke's sharingan to copy – Shino was simply very fast and strong. It seemed the training regimen Gai gave to Shino had paid off in the end.

Sasuke was fast too, but his strength left a lot to be desired. He was a speed demon, his entire fighting style based on being faster than your opponent, and with that advantage negated by Shino's own speed, he was left trying to outmaneuver Shino or get him overextend himself. It would be a long wait, Naruto knew – one of the more infuriating things about fighting Shino was his ability to not make mistakes like that. Not without some kind of distraction, anyway. In the meantime, Shino was content to use his superior strength (and stamina, if Naruto was reading them both correctly) to push Sasuke back. Now, Sasuke's insistence of taijutsu was proving to be a mistake, since he couldn't catch a break long enough to perform one of his many fire techniques. Since Shino's kikai were extremely vulnerable to fire techniques and his genjutsu wouldn't work against Sasuke's sharingan, it was unsurprising that Shino was unwilling to disengage from melee.

"Strange," Kakashi said behind him. "Usually Aburame focus on their mastery over their kikai. It's unusual to see one so skilled in taijutsu."

Was than an undercurrent of annoyance Naruto was detecting in his voice? "Well, now we can see how thoughtlessly assuming things can bring down even the greatest of geniuses. If Sasuke opted to maintain distance from Shino and rained down fire techniques on him he probably would have won. Ah, it seems the battle is ending…"

Indeed, down in the arena Sasuke was clearly on the edge of exhaustion, his arms aching from blocking Shino's more powerful strikes, when Shino suddenly backed away a little, giving Sasuke a little breathing room. So relieved was Sasuke at this window of opportunity that he immediately started flashing through hand seals. He didn't even notice the kikai swirling over his legs until it was too late. His cursed seal glowed impotently, unable to give Sasuke the power it contained due to the overlay Naruto placed on it, and Sasuke collapsed on the ground unconscious.

"Well then," said Kurenai with a vicious smirk. "It seems I'm still in the game, aren't I?"

Kakashi snorted derisively and buried his nose in his porn again, though the gesture was more amusing than infuriating this time, and only caused Kurenai's smirk to widen.

- break -

"You are certain of this?" Baki said with narrowed eyes.

"Yes," hissed Kankuro, clearly agitated. "That blond was definitely using puppeteering! He was using multiple puppets, the likes of which I have never seen! Baki-sensei, what the hell is happening here? How can Konoha possess puppeteers?"

"I do not know," Baki said. "This is a serious matter that must be investigated more thoroughly. What is the boy's name anyway?"

"I…" Kankuro faltered. He never bothered to remember it.

"Uzumaki Naruto," spoke Gaara for the first time the conversation started, not bothering to take his eyes off the battle in the arena below. A rain ninja was utterly dominating some mist genin, and the fight was bloody enough to make Gaara's heart swell in anticipation of his own battle. Sadly, the odds were his battle will be against a Konoha ninja, which meant he wouldn't be allowed to paint the walls of the arena with the blood of his opponent, lest Uzumaki make good on his threat. He was no match for the other jinchuuriki at this time.

"Do you know what was he after?" Baki asked.

"No," Kankuro said quickly. "He just incapacitated us and left. Didn't even take our scroll."

Gaara felt Temari's eyes on his back but ignored her. He had already deflected his teammate's questions with liberal amount of death threats, as well as promised gruesome punishments if they ever let it slip he wasn't around when the two of them woke up. He couldn't keep the charade up forever – sooner or later someone will figure out his sudden weakness – but he was sure he could keep it up for a while. At least until he figures out what to do.

The medics took the bloody mist genin away on the stretcher, and the strange white-haired man that served as the proctor of the exam called out for the next match.

"Gaara of the Sand vs. TenTen!"

Gaara sighed wearily. Konoha ninja. Of course. He shunshined into the arena.

The girl tried to mentally unbalance him by talking. As if he needed an extra push! Gaara was generally unaffected by things like that, and doubly so ever since Mother's voice was muffled by the other jinchuuriki. He a couple of sand shuriken at her to shut her up and get this thing going.

"Kid, I didn't say start!" yelled Jiraya at him.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Gaara replied blandly, completely unintimidated by the older man's glare.

"Start!"

The girl was the type of an opponent that didn't stand a chance against him. Specializing in ranged weaponry and accuracy… even without his automatic defense, he could control his sand well enough to block all of her attacks. He threw kunai at him, his sand blocked. She threw shuriken at him, his sand blocked. She threw swords, sickles and other peculiar weapons at him, his sand blocked.

She tried explosive notes but the sand blocked those too.

Gaara was actually somewhat amused. Where was the girl carrying those weapons anyway? She wasn't pulling them out of storage scrolls as far as he could figure out. She was like a walking armory.

Finally the girl had enough and decided to use her 'ultimate technique'. Gaara snorted. He would let her – he wasn't allowed to kill her, but he would show her just how useless she was against him. If he couldn't crush her body, he would crush her spirit.

Two storage scrolls twirled in the air, and a rain of metal objects crashed down on him. Or rather, his sand. He let the weapons fall down around him and then promptly scooped them up in his sand. The sand swirled around him until it settled into a shape of a ball, pushing the weapons into the center of the sphere. The ball of sand compressed violently, before spitting out a shower of mangled metal back at the girl.

The shower of shrapnel was weak and unfocused, and most of the pieces fell short of Gaara's opponent. Those that flew far enough were dodged with only minor difficulty. But that was okay – he did this more for a psychological effect than actual combat utility.

The girl was so shocked at the move she noticed too late when the sand beneath her feet swirled around her, encasing her in a cocoon of sand.

"Your attacks are useless and so are you," Gaara state emotionlessly. "I could crush you like I did your precious weapons, but I don't want your weak blood giving mother indigestion. Yield or I will slam your head against the ground until you pass out."

"I… I yield."

The surrender was said in such a small voice, so full of disappointment and humiliation, that Gaara actually felt a bit sorry for his action.

But only a little.

He let the girl fall on the ground as the proctor proclaimed his victory, ignoring the green blur that picked the up girl and disappeared with her as he slowly ascended the stairs to the viewing level. He deliberately passed next to the group of people gathered around Naruto at gave the blond a long hard look. Azure eyes burning with fury glared at him in silence. It seemed Uzumaki wasn't very happy with how he handled the situation.

Gaara snorted. He didn't kill her. That was all that was asked of him.

- break -

Kurenai glanced at Asuma and was unsurprised to see annoyance on his face. Their little bet was nothing serious, the actual reward being little more than bragging right, but it was pretty unflattering to have all your genin knocked out in the preliminaries when the other two rookie teams both managed to send at least one of their members into the finals. Especially since none of the three put on an especially good showing. Ino lost spectacularly against Sakura, Choji lasted as long as he did against the Gai clone that was Rock Lee only because the spandex-clad genin was reluctant to fully engage someone so obviously weaker, and Shikamaru…

Shikamaru was Asuma's darling – lazy and laidback, just like his sensei, but supposedly a genius of the highest level. When the match between him and Naruto was called, Asuma clearly thought his favorite student can't loose.

Perhaps if Naruto fought conventionally, that would have been true. But 'Naruto' and 'conventionally' rarely intersect. At the very start of the battle, Naruto threw a scroll on the ground, causing gallons upon gallons of water to gust out into the arena. Enough water flood the entire arena up to the ankles. For Shikamaru, who apparently didn't know how to walk on water, this was troublesome all by itself, but Naruto coupled it by using said water to shround the entire arena in thick, impenetratable mist. And then used needles coated in sleeping agent to incapacitate Shikamaru before he could get his bearings.

Kurenai sighed. As amusing as this little bet was, she couldn't help but wonder what to do about Naruto. She and Anko were supposed to weasel the truth out of Naruto before this exam was done. The original plan was for them to wait for Naruto to get into the tower and then confront him before the preliminaries. The idea was that the unfamiliar setting, coupled with the elation of being finally out of the dangerous forest would catch Naruto off guard, making him more susceptible to interrogation techniques. A proper cocktail of drugs would also help, but it was an open debate between her and Anko about whether that was worth the fallout. Sadly, the plan was shot to hell at this point. Orochimaru had been spotted in the exam, and Anko had recklessly run off to confront him, nearly killing herself in the process. Even now she was lying in the hospital, stuck in a coma from which the doctors were not sure she would ever wake up. Naruto, for his part, nearly failed this portion of the exam, arriving at the last possible moment and giving her no time to do anything.

Naruto's easy victory would probably put Naruto in the good mood, but once he finds out what happened to Anko (and he will, regardless of whether she tells him or not; he always finds out about those kind of things somehow) his mood would take a sharp turn for the worse. Which meant she should corner him the moment these preliminaries end. But Kurenai wasn't sure the boy trusted her enough to open up to her without Anko's clear support. Perhaps she should wait and hope Anko wakes up before the finals? She did have a whole month until then.

"Relax Hinata, I'm sure you'll do fine," Naruto said cheerily.

"I… I don't know," Hinata said hesitantly. "I'm not-"

"You're _are_ strong," interrupted Naruto. "You've got _nothing_ to worry about."

Kurenai sighed. She knew exactly why Hinata was so afraid, despite the recent improvement in confidence. With so few contestants in the exam left, there was a big chance she'll end up fighting against _him_. Her cousin hated her with a passion and he was both a year older than her and a prodigy in the Gentle Fist.

"I wish I could have your confidence," Hinata said quietly. "You always sound so sure of yourself, as if everything's about to go right."

Naruto was silent for a moment, before he gave her a painful smile that was obviously fake.

"Sometimes I even believe it as well," he said.

Hinata frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"Hyuuga Hinata vs. Hyuuga Neji!" yelled Jiraya.

Hinata's eyes widened in fear, her body going in rigid at the proclamation.

"What's wrong?" asked Naruto.

"N-Nothing," stuttered Hinata, before shaking her head and schooling her features. "Nothing's wrong," she repeated in a calmer tone. She turned to leave towards the arena when she suddenly stopped and turned towards the blond again. "Naruto, after these preliminaries, would you… would you go out on a date with me?"

Before she was even finished speaking, Kurenai could already see his answer was going to be negative. Kurenai suspected for a while that Naruto didn't share Hinata's feelings, and it was quite obvious now that she was correct. Naruto's grimaced in a mixture of shock and fear, before finally settling on an expression of regret and embarrassment.

"Hinata I can't… I mean I just…"

"It's alright, I understand," Hinata said with calmness that honestly surprised Kurenai. She thought that poor little Hinata would be devastated by this rejection. "I won't give up though. You never gave up on me, even though everyone else dismissed me as weak and pathetic, so I won't give up on you either. I will grow strong and prove to you I am worthy of your affection. Now if you excuse me, I have a fight to win."

And with that, Hinata descended down the stairs and into the arena, leaving an agitated Naruto behind. Kurenai supposed she should be angry at Naruto for refusing Hinata, but realistically speaking he was under no obligation to return her affections. And besides, he looked so lost at that moment, she just didn't have the heart to threaten him in any way.

Neji and Hinata stood on the thin film of water covering the floor of the arena facing each other in silence that was reminiscent of the stare-off between Shino and Sasuke. Neji opened his mouth to say something but Hinata chose that moment to strike.

Wave after wave of paper blades sped towards Neji, who dodged each and every one of them with all the grace of a panther, edging closer and closer to Hinata with each successive attempt. It was obvious to Kurenai that her student was trying to keep Neji at bay, knowing she has no chance in a taijutsu battle, but it was equally obvious she was loosing. Neji seemed preternaturally adept at evading inordinate amounts of throw projectiles, as if he had trained against just that sort of thing his whole life. Hinata slipped on the water for but a moment and Neji was already upon her.

Chakra enhanced hands clashed with one another at blurring speeds, and Kurenai was surprised her student was able to last as long as she did. She was good – far better than Kurenai gave her credit for.

But not good enough to match Neji.

Hinata and Neji disengaged, Neji wearing a triumphant smirk and Hinata looking shocked.

"W-When did you…" Hinata begun.

"It was child's play to close off your tenketsu," Neji said haughtily, probably more for the benefit of the audience than Hinata. "Your proficiency with the Gentle Fist is as pathetic as the rumors say. You didn't even notice what I was doing until the very end. Give up."

"No," Hinata said frostily.

"Give up," said Neji more forcefully. "I closed off all tenketsu in your arms. You cannot do Gentle Fist or perform any other ninjutsu. You lost. Be honorable enough to admit your loss. Must I really beat you into submission?"

Hinata raised her arms in front of her and they were suddenly enveloped in a soft green light. Neji took a step back in shock.

"What is the meaning of this!" he demanded.

"I was on the receiving end of Gentle Fist ever since I could walk," said Hinata. "I have had my tentketsu closed off so many times I have learned how to unplug them with medical chakra."

"That's impossible!" Neji proclaimed.

"Gentle Fist… deals so little actual damage when you get down to it," Hinata said. "Precise, critical damage, but so easily healed. It is truly fortunate of our clan that medic-nins are so rare outside of Konoha, Neji-san."

Before Neji could say anything else, Hinata threw two stack of blank paper notes into the air and flipped through a couple of hand seals. The notes stiffened and arrayed themselves into a dome around the other Hyuuga, surrounding him completely.

"Surrender, Neji-san," Hinata said. "I don't want to kill you."

Neji sneered, even as Hinata brought her hands into the final seal and the paper blades rushed towards him.

"Kaiten."

The blades impacted the blue spinning sphere and were instantly shredded into bits. Hinata looked in shock as bits and pieces of paper rained down all around her.

"Do you see now?" Neji asked. "You cannot defeat me. You cannot keep healing yourself forever. Sooner or later the sheer weight of your injuries will bring you low. Death from a thousand papercuts, as it were."

Neji charged at her, but Hinata remained unmoving. Kurenai could see Neji hesitate for a second at her indifference towards his attack, but it was gone in an instant. Se striked.

Instead of deflecting his hand like she did before, Hinata grasped his open palm with her own, intertwining her fingers with his own and using that leverage to yank him towards her. Shucked as he was at the maneuver, Neji didn't have time to react when she used his lack of balance to land a gentle fist strike at his stomach.

Neji recovered quickly, yanking his arm free of Hinata's suddenly useless arm and jumping back. His feet wobbled, but he did not double over in pain like Kurenai would have expected.

"You sacrificed your arm just for this temporary victory?" Neji breathed out. "What a foolish maneuver."

"You forget, Neji-san," Hinata said, her lifeless arm suddenly enveloped in a soft green glow. "Any damage I receive from you can be healed within seconds. The damage I took was temporary. The pain in your stomach will slow you down till the end of the match."

Neji looked murderous. "You… you…"

"Do you see now?" said Hinata, mocking him with his own words. "You cannot defeat me. I can afford to get hit. You can't."

Neji started shaking before he charged again. "HEAL THIS, THEN!"

Kurenai watched in horror as Neji slammed his hand directly into the center of Hinata's chest, right where the heart was.

The killing strike.

Hinata stumbled backwards, her eyes wide with shock. She opened her mouth, as if to speak, but instead of words only blood came trickling down her lips. She collapsed face-first into the shallow water, never to rise again.

.

.

A/N: Yes, she's really dead. You can start flaming me now.


	14. Sundered Worlds

Konoha genin do not kill each other in friendly competitions. Kakashi supposed this was why nobody interposed themselves between the two combatants and stopped the fight, why Jiraya hadn't reacted when Neji went for the killing blow, why the whole arena simply stared in disbelief for a full second after Hinata hit the ground… or water, as the case may be. Even foreign shinobi seemed shocked at this turn of events.

Naruto was the first person to react, Kakashi noted. Hinata had barely hit the water and Naruto already blurred into existence beside her, flipping her on her back to allow breathing and performing a diagnostic technique. Not that it would make any difference. A large part of the reason for the current inaction by the gathered Jounin was that they knew Hinata was dead the moment they saw that strike connect. Someone as proficient in the Gentle Fist as Neji clearly was didn't wound with that kind of blow, and Kakashi had seen it executed often enough in the last war to know Hinata would never get up after being on a receiving end of it. Naruto must have known it too, because Kakashi could clearly see the panicked hopelessness etched on his student's face, the way he simply poured medical chakra into Hinata's chest in a desperate attempt to do _something_ for the dying girl. It brought up a lot of memories in Kakashi that the man would rather forget.

The moment of stilled silence ended quickly, and chaos erupted in the arena. Medics rushed to the scene, pushing back a dazed-looking Naruto from Hinata's body as they began their own futile work. Questions started flying around, spoken and yelled over the backdrop of hushed conversations and a terrible buzz of kikai bugs coming off Hinata's Aburame teammate. Though Kakashi studied the scene in a seemingly unconcerned and relaxed posture, his sharingan was exposed and he studied the gathered group for any sign of a bloodbath about to begin. Hinata's death was tragic, and Kakashi empathized, but that was no reason to allow more tragedies to happen today. Naruto and his Aburame friend looked murderous, and Kakashi was just about of interpose himself between Naruto and Neji to forestall a fight when Jiraya suddenly appeared behind Naruto and knocked him out with a quick chop on the neck. Kakashi frowned at the rather heavy-handed solution to the problem but said nothing, instead giving the Aburame a hard stare with his sharingan to keep him in line. The boy look mutinous, in that reserved Aburame way, but didn't attack.

Kakashi looked away and permitted himself a sigh as he half-heartedly listened to Hokage's attempt at reassuring the crowd. He stared at the medics as they took both Naruto and Hinata away on stretchers and contemplated whether to protest against them just taking Naruto away like that. In the end he didn't say anything, because he suspected this was done on Hokage's own orders. As unfair as it was, an angry Naruto was not the same thing as an ordinary angry genin – there was always a chance he would release the Kyuubi and go berserk, and the situation was going to be enough of a nightmare without Naruto painting the entire arena with Neji's entrails. His suspicions were confirmed when the medics 'inconspicuously' ushered Neji away from the arena while the Hokage kept everyone distracted. Apparently the short-term solution was to deny everything and pretend there's nothing wrong.

It wasn't going to work, of course. Despite the old Hokage's impressive oratory skills and his equally impressive skills at covering things up, it was obvious as hell to everyone with half a brain that things were not okay. And since a lot of people present were foreign ninja over whom Hokage had no influence, he couldn't just put a lid on this through threats of execution. Kakashi was quite sure the story will be common knowledge before this time tomorrow.

It was amazing what could be covered up in a ninja village, no matter how big it was. Virtually none of the children knew about Naruto being the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. Virtually no one knew the details of the Uchiha massacre, and not even Kakashi knew what Itachi did to Sasuke to scar him so badly even years afterwards.

Virtually nobody outside the Hyuuga clan knew the story about Neji's father.

But secrets fundamentally depend of being _secrets_ – they are strongest when people don't know there is a secret at all. The hardest part in unraveling a secret is always getting the first lead, and what transpired today is a giant red sign saying 'there is something foul in the Hyuuga clan, and Neji is at a center of it!' There was no way that particular secret will stay a secret for long.

Of course, once you strip away the political implications, you're still left with a great personal tragedy. Several of them, in fact. There was the rest of the Team 8, who's team was almost certainly going to fall apart after these Chuunin exams: the Aburame was likely going to be granted the title of Chuunin and moved into another team, leaving the Inuzuka all alone with a grieving Kurenai who will be beating herself over applying her team in the Chuunin exams so soon in their career. There was Naruto, who turned the girl down just before her death and was probably going to develop some serious issues about this in the years to come. And finally, there was Neji, whose own personal tragedy will probably be completely ignored amidst the fury and outrage he caused.

It was in moments like that that Kakashi wished, for a thousandth time since that fateful day, that it was Obito here instead of him. Normally he made an effort not to think like that, but the situation was just so terribly similar it clawed at his heart and mind, reminding him of his poor choices in life and his loss. Kakashi just wasn't the sort of guy who could deal with drama, unless ignoring it altogether was considered an option. Obito would know exactly what to do to make things right, or at least wouldn't beat himself over allowing things to degenerate to this point. Sure, Kakashi was a lot better ninja than Obito, but his teammate had things much more precious than that. He knew how to handle people. How to come to terms with your lot in life. _How to live._

But Kakashi wasn't Obito. He was just a ninja. A good ninja, perhaps even an excellent one, but it never seemed to matter. So he just leaned against the railing and observed the situation, waiting for the moment when his skills may be needed.

It was all he could do. Because no matter how hard he tried, he just wasn't Obito.

- break -

Sasori absent-mindedly twirled the storage scroll in his hand as he walked towards Konoha general hospital, thinking about the possibilities it presented. Truthfully, he had not intended to recover Hyuuga Hinata's body, as such an undertaking would needlessly endanger his plans, but when Kabuto notified him that he could switch her body with a convincing replica just before the cremation, he knew he had to take that chance. It was a supreme irony that it was the very rush to cremate her body as soon as possible to prevent the possibility of bloodline theft that allowed Kabuto to make the switch unnoticed. Life was funny that way. He was surprised at Kabuto's skill at faking corpses, though – the boy had some interesting techniques in his arsenal, and Sasori was half-tempted to ask Kabuto to teach them to him, but now was not the time.

He didn't want the Hyuuga girl for himself. She, just like many the other bodies he had collected ever since he started this undertaking, were for his disciple – the disciple that was going to succeed where Sasori himself had failed so many years ago.

It was Sasori's greatest regret, the one thing he had never forgiven himself for failing at. He didn't become a living puppet, not really. He was stuck somewhere in the middle, not a puppet, and not a human. Worse, the procedure he put himself through had boxed him into the form he now held, and he was unable to correct the mistakes and improve himself. The puppet body he currently inhabited – _inhabited_, because it wasn't really _him_ – was in many ways superior to the human one. But it was a dead end – an art incapable of transcending itself. And in the great scheme of things, those who stand still will eventually be left behind and become obsolete. Hardly an example of everlasting art that Sasori aspired to.

He had long ago accepted that he had failed in this regard, and that there was nothing he could do about it. Then he met Naruto, and that forgotten hope bubbled up to the surface once again. Naruto was going to be his second chance, and his greatest masterpiece. Ironically, his greatest inspiration came from Orochimaru's records he obtained through spying and outright raids on Orochimaru's facilities while the man was busy dealing with Akatsuki and planning an invasion on his home village. Sasori had always thought his old partner had no interest in puppetry, but many of the man's experiments involved installing puppet parts into living subjects or experimenting with basic puppeteer principles. There was at least one sound ninja with blast tubes eerily reminiscent to his own implanted directly into his arms, only firing concentrated blasts of air instead of jets of fire and water, and Orochimaru designed a plethora of exotic weaponry that was mounted on person's limbs and body, almost like weapon modules attached to a standardized puppet. Not to mention that the red-headed girl Kabuto captured in the forest of death had a bunch of puppets made out of dead flesh sewn together into grotesque shapes, and they were controlled by musical notes instead of chakra strings. It was fascinating in the extreme. Orochimaru's fusion of puppet parts with living humans sparked Sasori's imagination and made him rethink the entire concept of puppetry. Examining Kakuzu's remains only reinforced this line of thinking. So Sasori started to plan and prepare.

The basic idea was deceptively simple – instead of turning Naruto's entire body into a mechanical puppet through extensive surgery, like he had done to himself, he would instead use extensive sealing arrays and implanted mechanisms to turn him into an _actual_ living puppet - a living being that was also a puppet. It was a risky procedure, but Sasori relied on the boy's Kyuubi-given regenerative powers to smooth the procedure. If anyone can survive such a process with any degree of certainty, it was Naruto. Of course, the devil is in the details, and Sasori found the details to be quite problematic. Even with extensive abuse of his mindscape (something which he could do a lot more effectively than Naruto, due to certain mental seals he inscribed on himself), he found the procedure had too many problems that had to be solved – not the least of which was making the end result something his disciple would be willing to accept. Sasori was pretty sure Naruto would never agree to have his guts replaced by a prehensile poisoned cable like Sasori did, no matter how useful that would be.

The solution was, surprisingly, supplied to him by Naruto himself. The Kaguya his disciple killed during the second exam was a bearer of an incredibly useful bloodline, and Sasori was endlessly pleased that Kabuto saw fit to bring his body to him. Wood was the usual material for puppets because it was cheap, light, and easy to shape and inscribe seals into. With the sort of powers Kaguya had, however, bone was a vastly better choice on all three accounts and more. If Sasori could implant Kaguya's heart, based on a slightly modified Kakuzu's procedure, into Naruto's body, his disciple could shape weapons and armor out of his very bones - weapons and armor that could be dissolved when they were unneeded. It would still require some extensive seal-work to work properly, but the concept was a lot more workable than his original idea.

Of course, such thoughts brought him back to the matter of a dead Hyuuga he was holding in his hand. There was no time to work the byakugan into the design at this stage, but perhaps later, when the proof of concept proves to be sound? If nothing else, she could be turned into your run-of-the-mill human puppet, and a fairly simple technique would allow the puppeteer to see through her eyes. Such a puppet would be endlessly useful, even if it had no combat potential. The problem would be getting Naruto to look past his revulsion at the idea of turning his friend's corpse into a puppet.

In any case, this was a perfect time to influence his disciple in a desirable direction. The boy was emotionally distraught, and the Hokage has locked him into a hospital room and forbid anyone from seeing him. Sasori had no doubt the boy's entire moral worldview was in tatters, which made it the perfect moment to breach some emotionally upsetting topics while Naruto was still disoriented.

Having already found out the location of Naruto's room from Kabuto, and seeing how the only security that Sasori could detect were two Chuunin stationed in front of the door, he opted to avoid the hospital corridors and entered through the window. Apparently the Hokage didn't actually expect Naruto to escape. That, or he was serious underestimated the blonde. Jumping into the room, Sasori found Naruto dejectedly sitting on the edge of his bed, reading some kind of notebook. Normally Sasori would scold Naruto for not paying attention to his surroundings, but he knew the blonde detected his approach. His ability to interpret information from that sensor seal on the back of his hitai-ate was improving every time Sasori met him.

"It's Hinata's," Naruto said, not even turning back to look Sasori in the face. The puppeteer didn't need to be told to know Naruto was talking about the notebook. "The note said she wanted me to have it. It details her research into human anatomy, especially chakra coils. The byakugan sure is amazing. And these clan records she references all the time… I sure would have loved to take a look through them. Anyway, whomever left this for me on the bedside obviously didn't read it because they'd never give it to me if they did. It was probably Kurenai – she's the only one I know that is too scrupulous to read someone's private notes like that. This is the sort of thing the Hyuuga would kill me for just having it. With the information recorded here, any decent medic-nin could repeat Hinata's performance in the preliminaries. She really… she really was amazing, wasn't she?"

Naruto's voice cracked a little in the end, and then the boy fell silent. Sasori remained silent too, aware that his particular brand of honesty wouldn't be appreciated at the moment. Besides, he could tell the boy wasn't finished yet.

"She's dead," Naruto stated. "I don't really need you to confirm it. I knew there was nothing that could be done for her by the time the medics rushed into the scene – I was right beside her the moment she collapsed. Neji seemed to have really put his all into that last strike. The heart and the surrounding arteries had been turned into mush. I was on the verge of pumping her full of Kyuubi's chakra on the off chance it could save her, but the fox warned me that his chakra is a corrosive poison to anyone beside myself. So she died."

Naruto snapped the notebook shut and turned around to face Sasori. "For some reason I got knocked unconscious the moment medics took her body away, and I woke up strapped to the hospital bed with leather bindings. Why am I being kept here, anyway?"

Sasori glanced at the bed. Sure enough, there were leather straps present – cleanly severed, as if by a surgical knife. Which probably wasn't far from the truth – Kabuto once told him regular bindings can't hold a (good) medic-nin for long, because they can project their chakra scalpels from more than just their fingers. He turned his attention back to Naruto.

"Out of sight, out of mind," said Sasori. "Your friend's death nearly caused a riot, both in the arena and outside. The Hokage has been desperately trying to contain the situation for two days now, and part of his strategy was to keep both you and Neji away from curious eyes and ears."

Naruto looked shocked. "I've slept for two whole days?" asked Naruto incredulously.

"You've been kept sedated for two whole days," corrected Sasori. "The Hokage didn't want to deal with you until now."

Naruto hissed in anger. "The nerve of that man! I've lost two whole days of training I could have used to prepare for the finals! I need all the help I can get if I'm going to make Neji pay! Why was I even knocked out?"

"You looked pissed, and you looked like you were going to charge Neji. I guess Jiraya felt mere words would not calm you."

"What about Neji?" asked Naruto crankily.

"He was simply led out of the arena under heavy escort, though this was more for his protection than others'," Sasori said calmly. He was intentionally portraying things in a bad light to rile his disciple up. Normally he disdained overemotional reactions, but it suited him to have Naruto angry right now. "He didn't break any rules, you know? Killing is permitted in these exams, just frowned upon."

"So he's going to get away with it?" asked Naruto incredulously, his temper rising.

"Well, the very first fight of the finals is you against Neji, so you'll be able to do whatever you think he deserved to him then," offered Sasori.

"Oh good," Naruto growled. "I'm predicting one more dead Hyuuga before the Chuunin exams are done."

"I'm pretty sure the Hokage wouldn't be pleased with that," Sasori said. "You're not the only one who thinks Neji went out of line. He killed a main branch member and a fellow Konoha genin. A lot of people think very dimly about this. The Hyuuga clan is on the verge of internal war over the issue of what do to about him. Still, the Hokage was adamant in his insistence that he is not to be killed or punished in any way. Not at this time anyway – an investigation is scheduled after the Chuunin exams end."

Naruto said nothing for about half a minute, his anger steadily deflating until he simply looked lost and confused. Apparently the girl meant more to his disciple than Sasori thought she did. It was a good thing she died, then – such strong connections to Konoha weren't a part of Sasori's plan for Naruto. What was even better was that Sasori didn't need to move a finger to make it happen. He loved when flaws in his plans corrected themselves like this.

"I'm a monster, aren't I?" Naruto asked quietly, turning his back to Sasori again.

"You're a ninja," answered Sasori cryptically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Naruto crankily, whirling back to face him.

"Being a ninja is a stressful job with shady moral implications. It does terrible things to people's empathy and moral compass, and it gets worse the higher you climb in ninja hierarchy. It can be argued that all ninjas are 'monsters' to one degree or other. What in particular has gotten you upset?"

"I didn't love her," Naruto said. Sasori would be disturbed if he did – love among humans was closely connected to their sexuality, and Naruto's sexuality should be firmly suppressed due to Sasori's little additions to his seal. "I cared for her, but not in a romantic sense. She was my friend, and my project – a hurt little girl I was going to turn into a person capable of taking care of herself, just like you did for me. Romance didn't really enter into it. But how could I have told this to her? It sounds so… cold. And I realize I sort of am cold. She's dead and I'm not even crying. I'm sad and angry, but… I don't know, not devastated? Why is that? Did she mean that little to me?"

"You barely knew her," shrugged Sasori. "You met once a week at your most involved, and she was a quiet girl that rarely spoke about what is on her mind. What is there to cry about? I suppose it is unfortunate that she has perished, from a professional standpoint, considering the amount of effort you put into her."

Naruto's eyes darkened. "I don't want to think like that. I don't want to be such a heartless person."

"How would your suffering help her?" asked Sasori. "Do you truly believe your lack of strong reaction to her death is an ethical infraction, or are you actually worried what other will think of you if you do not mourn her in a public manner? That you weren't in love with her is no crime, as much as others may object."

Naruto turned around and quirked his eyebrow at Sasori.

"I'm afraid that the story of her confession has leaked into the public," elaborated Sasori. "You know how people are. They're already spinning all sort of tales out of this."

Naruto groaned. "What did I do now?"

Sasori shrugged. "Believe it or not, not every story has you as a bad guy. A forbidden love between a no-name orphan and a Hyuuga princess, the orphan turning down her heartfelt confessions, thinking himself unworthy of being involved with her. It's quite a popular version of the tale among the younger generation that doesn't know you're a jinchuuriki. The opinions are divided on whether your choice was understandable or stupid, of course."

Naruto scowled. "As if they knew anything. Do you know when her funeral is scheduled at?"

"The body was cremated this morning to prevent bloodline theft," Sasori said. "A small ceremony in her honor was held at the same time."

Naruto stared at Sasori in shock, his mouth opening and closing. "What! You mean I won't be even able to pay my respect to her? How could they do this to me!"

"Well fortunately for you, you have me to help you out," said Sasori, whipping out the storage scroll out of his pocket and unsealing it on the bed.

Naruto jumped away from Hinata's body like as if burned, alternately staring wild-eyed at Sasori and the body of his dead friend with unhidden disbelief.

"Sasori…" Naruto said with trembling voice. "What the hell is this? I swear, if this is some kind of a prank, you've got the _sickest_ sense of humor, _ever_!"

"It's no prank," said Sasori. "This really is the body of your friend. Kabuto switched her body with a fake. Her father was in such a rush to cremate her he didn't even bother to make sure he had the real one."

"But why!" Naruto protested. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"The byakugan," Sasori said simply.

"You can't be serious," Naruto deadpanned, getting a little angry. "Do you really think I'll let you desecrate my friend's corpse just so you could get yourself some fancy eyes!"

"Oh no, I didn't do it for myself," said Sasori calmly, completely unintimidated by Naruto's rising agitation. It was a good thing he put a privacy technique on the room before starting this conversation or the shouting would have attracted all sort of unwanted attention. "I did it for you, my dear disciple."

"For me?" asked Naruto with disbelief. "Honestly, did you even think about the problems with that idea? Forgetting for a moment that I would never do this to Hinata's memory, there is a little matter that me replacing one or both of my eyes with the byakugan would be _too fucking obvious_! I'd _never_ be able to hide such a thing!"

"Well," Sasori said carefully, "I was actually thinking more along the lines of turning her into a puppet and you using that technique I taught you to see through her eyes."

"Eh?"

"Those special puppets you're always asking me about?"

Naruto's eyes widened in understanding. "No…"

"Oh yes," Sasori confirmed.

"But why?" Naruto burst out.

"Human puppets, being made from remains of other ninja, are able to use chakra and any abilities they had in life. They are the next step in puppet creation, and a human puppet made from a high-level ninja is superior to just about anything else I or you could possibly make. Why wouldn't I make and use them?"

"Because… because it's wrong. Ghastly! And you want to turn Hinata into one of these things? No way, Sasori, no fucking way! How could you possibly think I would agree to this!"

Sasori shrugged and resealed Hinata's body into the scroll. "It was worth a try, in my opinion, and it at least introduces you to the idea. I won't force you into this, though I think you're making a mistake. Hinata gave you that notebook so you could continue her legacy, and you can't really do that without a byakugan, can't you? Personally, I think _not_ turning her into a puppet would be a crime against her memory, and the task she left you with. But if you disagree, we can always simply bury her, and you can pay your respects for her then. I'll hold on to her for now, and we'll decide which way to go after the end of the Chuunin exams."

Naruto looked at Sasori suspiciously for a few moments before deflating. Sasori mentally congratulated himself – he had chosen the moment well. Naruto was too emotionally exhausted at the moment to summon the energy to get truly upset. Later on, the lack of strong negative feedback from recalling this moment will make him more susceptible to the idea.

"I still think you're one sick fuck, Sasori," Naruto said in a resigned tone of voice.

"Dully noted," Sasori said. "Anyway, I've stayed here long enough, and the privacy technique I put on the room is starting to unravel. Here."

Naruto caught a small scroll Sasori threw at him, giving Sasori a questioning look.

"Just some interesting reading," Sasori said. "I thought it might shed some light on the recent events."

And with that, Sasori was gone. Naruto stared blankly at the unmarked scroll in his hands for a few minutes, turning it over in his hands. Reluctantly, he unrolled it and began to read.

- break -

Sarutobi was not a happy Hokage at the moment. He had trouble deciding which issue gave him more headaches: Orochimaru's presence in the exams or Hinata's death in the preliminaries.

He still had no idea what Orochimaru was doing in the exams. No team has reported an encounter with him, and if it were not for Anko, he would have dismissed the reported sighting as mere paranoia. Sadly, memories extracted by the Yamanaka from the comatose Anko have confirmed he was there, and it was unlikely anyone else could copy his rather distinctive style of fighting and speech to such perfection. One thing Sarutobi didn't quite understand is how exactly Anko's cursed seal overlay blocked Orochimaru's influence so completely. In all honesty, the overlay was little more than a placebo. And if Orochimaru's annoyed reaction – and Anko's subsequent brutal beat-down that placed her into her current coma – was any indication, his wayward student didn't understand either. Something to ask Anko about when and if she ever wakes up.

And the situation with Hinata should never have happened. When Hiashi petitioned him to arrange for Neji and Hinata to fight, he had assured Sarutobi that despite Neji's grudge against the main house, the boy was not murderous and had great self-control. It was supposed to be a short battle, with Neji quickly subduing Hinata with a show of superior skill and power, with Hinata surrendering after it became obvious she stands no chance. Hiashi hoped that such a public loss, in front of her crush and all her friends, would serve as a wake-up call for his daughter and might even appease some of Neji's anger at the main branch. It sounded plausible to Sarutobi, and having Hiashi in his debt would give him some much needed leverage over the Hyuuga clan, which was becoming increasingly belligerent with its dealings with the village as of late. Plus Hiashi promised he would work towards dissolving the boundaries between the two branches, which could only be a good thing in Sarutobi's opinion.

Sadly, Hiashi proved to be staggeringly ignorant of both of the genin involved. Hinata wasn't a helpless and talentless girl that Hiashi portrayed her as, and Neji wasn't as stoic as the Hyuuga patriarch wished to believe. Faced with real resistance from Hinata, Neji turned to deadly force.

This would have been bad enough all by itself, what with its intensifying effect on the instability that has been bubbling among the Hyuuga ever since the Kumo incident, but there was an issue that was, in Sarutobi's opinion, just as potentially disastrous.

Hinata was Naruto's friend. Naruto was furious. Murderously furious. And Naruto was Neji's first opponent in the Chuunin finals.

Sarutobi knew he couldn't keep Naruto sedated for the whole month, but fortunately he had something just as good.

"Is there something you wish to tell me, Naruto?"

"No, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi suppressed a wince with all the experience granted to him by years of political wrangling. Naruto's voice was flat and emotionless, but the aging Hokage could clearly sense the undercurrent of barely-restrained hostility in the young genin's voice. Not to mention that he actually called him by his title.

Sarutobi briefly glanced at the other occupants in the room. Kakashi was here mostly to get notified about what is going to happen to his genin. Kakashi was simply too influential and too involved in this particular issue to be left-outside the loop. Jiraya and Kabuto were present because they were to participate in the mission he was about to give Naruto. Normally Sarutobi would simply send Jiraya alone with Naruto, but Sarutobi suspected that Naruto didn't have a very high opinion of Jiraya at the moment, what with the Sannin's failure to stop the fight in time. Plus, Jiraya can be pretty infuriating even at the best of times. Kabuto would serve as a friendly element for the blonde, tempering his wrath.

"Well then, let's begin, shall we?" Hokage said, leaning back. "Uzumaki Naruto, you and Yakushi Kabuto will accompany Jiraya on a trip to find his former teammate, Tsunade. This is a long-term mission of critical importance, so no time-period for completion is given."

"What!" Naruto shouted. "But I've got a Chuunin exam to prepare for!"

"This mission takes precedence," the Hokage insisted.

Sarutobi watched as many emotions danced across Naruto's face before he suddenly took a deep breath and became calm again. It was honestly a little frightening how easily Naruto could subdue his emotions and shift moods. Perhaps there is some truth to Ibiki's speculations about mental disorders and multiple personalities?

"So let me get this straight," Naruto tried. "I am to find Tsunade and… what? Bring her back to the village?" The Hokage nodded. "And if I don't succeed by the time the finals start?"

"You are not to return until the mission is accomplished," the Hokage said calmly. "As Jiraya is in charge of the mission, only he can call it off."

"You're trying to keep me from fighting Neji," Naruto accused.

Sarutobi didn't deny it. It was true, after all, thought not the whole truth. It was also to keep him out of sight of rumor-mongers, in hopes that all those incendiary stories that were spreading around town (true or not) would die out without Naruto putting fuel to the fire. It would also place him in a constantly changing environment where he won't be continually reminded of hid dead friend on a daily basis, and will be too busy to brood about the whole thing. And finally, it would give Jiraya the opportunity to assess the blonde and subtly question him. Though the deadline had not yet passed, it was obvious that Anko and Kurenai have failed to extract anything from Naruto about his mysterious 'sources'.

"There has been enough death in this exam," the Hokage said evenly. "Besides, don't you want to help Anko?"

Shino watched as Naruto's eyes widened in shock.

"What do you mean 'help Anko'?" Naruto said. "What happened?"

"She had an encounter with an enemy infiltrator in the forest that left her in a permanent coma," the Sandaime said. "Nothing we did was able to wake her up. If anyone can help her it's Tsunade."

Sarutobi observed as indecision gripped Naruto, his desire to help his friend warring with his defiance towards what he perceived as an unfair decision. Finally Naruto seemed to shake off his indecision and assumed a more confident posture.

"When do we leave?" Naruto asked.

Sarutobi breathed a small sigh of relief. It gladdened him that Naruto was willing to choose his friend over vengeance. The will of fire still burns inside the boy.

"Right now," piped in Jiraya. "You have exactly two hour to prepare, so meet us at the north gate at that time."

"Right," Naruto mumbled bitterly. "Can have me wandering around the village for even a moment. Might upset someone if they see me."

"Naruto…" the Hokage tried with a gentler tone.

"Can it," Naruto snapped. "Your plan will backfire yet, _Hokage-sama_. I will find Tsunade before the month is up and I will avenge Hinata at the finals. And that's a promise."

"The path of vengeance is a dark path to thread," Sarutobi tried.

"Darker than killing a member of your family in a friendly competition?" Naruto shot back.

"I never suggested that what Neji did was right," Sarutobi said. "I understand your anger, but a Hokage mustn't let his personal feelings blind him when making decisions."

"How about fairness," Naruto growled. "Is a Hokage allowed to factor in _that_ into his decision-making process?"

"No," Sarutobi told him bluntly. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but he couldn't bring himself to lie to the boy. "A Hokage can't make decisions based on what is fair. He has to do what is best for the village. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Surely you know this – your dream is to become Hokage, right?"

Naruto said nothing for a moment before abruptly standing up and dusting himself off.

"Let's go," Naruto said blandly to Kabuto. "We mustn't let the mission waiting. The sooner we find Tsunade the sooner we can come back."

Kakashi let a long-suffering sigh as Naruto left his office with apologetic-looking Kabuto in tow. What a mess.

- break -

Naruto trailed mechanically after the white haired man that was officially leading this mission, ignoring the man's lame attempt at conversation. Naruto knew that Neji's speed was almost Jounin level and that Jiraya was supposed to be a ninjutsu specialist more than anything, but he was still pissed at the man's failure to stop Neji's attack in time. Though in all honesty, if that was the only complaint against the man, Naruto might have forgiven him in time. Alas, Jiraya offended virtually all of professional sensibilities Sasori instilled in Naruto. The man was ten times worse than Kakashi, something that Naruto scarcely believed to be possible before this moment.

They were walking to their destination. Walking! It wasn't even a fast walk. Naruto knew the moment this mission was assigned to him that it would be up to him to finish this mission in a timely manner, since Jiraya was probably given instructions to stall until the finals are over, but he didn't expect the great Sannin to be so blatant about it. Naruto's first instinct was to complain, but he squashed it. The man was underestimating him badly, something that was very convenient for Naruto's goals at the moment, and Naruto would do nothing to disabuse the man of his biases for now.

Jiraya glanced towards him, clearly a little annoyed at Naruto's lack of reaction to attempts at bonding. Naruto kept staring forward. He wouldn't glare. He wouldn't. Glaring isn't going to solve anything. Feeling angry and bitter will only cloud his mind to the most favorable solution to his problems. And there were many problems plaguing him. For too long has he been sweeping problems under the metaphorical rug, hoping they would eventually go away, and if he doesn't start dealing with them he was bound to collapse under their weight.

So instead of uselessly brooding while Jiraya led them on a wild goose chase, Naruto considered his life, his life goals, and the immediate situation he had found himself in.

He still didn't know much about the planned invasion, since the attack of those Sound Ninja and Hinata's death had driven that particular issue from his mind, and that would have to be rectified. Sasori, that manipulative bastard, had used those same events and Naruto's abrupt mission to get out of discussing details with Naruto. No, instead he pulled that unbelievably ghoulish move with stealing Hinata's corpse and gave Naruto a transcript of a discussion between the Old Man and Hinata's dad. Normally Naruto would have doubted the authenticity of such a document, seeing how they weren't supposed to be made at all, but Naruto knew Sasori wouldn't lie to him so blatantly. Sasori's personal creed was that truth was a powerful enough weapon without resorting to outright lies. You just had to pick your truths carefully.

It took all of Naruto's self-control not to bite the Old Man's head off when he finally finished reading the transcript. They set her up. They set _them_ up. As much as he hated to admit it, Naruto actually felt a little sorry for Neji after reading that. Not enough to spare the boy's life when they fought, but enough that Naruto would probably leave a flower on his grave after he kills him. Still, confronting the Old Man about it would have been stupid. If it's truly legitimate, he'd get carted off to Ibiki again, and he doubted his stay would be as pleasant as it was last time. Naruto had a Sannin to find and a friend to avenge, and spending the rest of the Chuunin exams in a holding cell was going to interfere with that.

Of course, Sasori didn't give him that transcript because he wanted Naruto to be informed. Naruto knew Sasori was manipulating him. He was sure that, should he ask, Sasori wouldn't deny it for a second. His red-headed mentor lived and breathed mind-games and subterfuge, and he expected Naruto to at least deal with it effectively, if he was incapable to playing along. But like Sasori had told him so long ago, their relationship was mutually beneficial. Naruto couldn't afford to end it. He didn't want to, truth be told. Sasori was a friend, a teacher, and an ally. For all his machinations, Naruto didn't think the older boy had malicious goals towards him.

No, Naruto didn't begrudge Sasori for trying to manipulate him. But that didn't mean he was going to take it lying down. It was time for Naruto to start pulling his end of the string.

He glanced towards Kabuto who, despite not returning his look, smirked and shifted his glasses a bit. Naruto had learned over time that his little ticks, like shifting glasses, were actually coded communications. In this particular case, the meaning was simple: what do you want? What indeed. Naruto wanted nothing less but to subvert Kabuto's loyalties. Superficially, Kabuto appeared to be Sasori's loyal follower, but Naruto was pretty sure he had gained an insight into Kabuto's nature during his lessons with the man, and that he understood the grey-haired medic far better than Sasori. For all his insightfulness when it comes to understanding people, Sasori could be terribly blind about people's motivations when they didn't fit into his rather cynical views. Kabuto was a scholar. He didn't want money, reputation, or acknowledgement. He wanted to know things. He wanted to explore the nature of humanity, of life itself, not for the power it would bring him, but simply to be enlightened. Naruto could give him that. He didn't even have to lie – Naruto wanted to know too, if not as obsessively as Kabuto. He would be the colleague that Kabuto can bounce his ideas from, a test subject that heals from any abuse, and a leader who understands and support his choices.

Naruto permitted himself a small smile. Yes, it was about time he does some plotting of his own.

- break -

Orochimaru was furious. The whole invasion plan would have to be changed radically or even scrapped entirely, and it was all one person's fault.

Damn the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, damn him to hell! How could his elite soldiers loose to that boy? He even killed Kimimaro! Has the brat really gotten so strong?

And on top of that, something was wrong with the seal he placed on Sasuke. Hell, something was wrong with the seal he placed on Anko too! Against all odds, it seemed that Konoha found the way to counter his cursed seal. This was completely unacceptable!

At least some things were going in his favor. Due to the whole Hyuuga incident, the whole village has been focused elsewhere, allowing him to work in relative peace.

And now that he thought about it, that just gave him the most wonderful idea…

- break -

Yamanaka Ino paced back and forth like a caged animal, her agitation obvious to her teammates. She shot a contemptuous glance towards the two and snorted derisively. Not that they cared. They never cared about anything. Or at least not about anything of consequence. They were just lying on the grass and staring at the sky without a care in the world. Sometimes Ino envied them on their ability to remain unconcerned by happenings around them. They all lost miserably in the preliminaries and they didn't care. Hinata was dead and they didn't care. The whole village was in an uproar and they didn't care.

Ino cared. She hadn't been happy with her team for a while actually, but up until the Chuunin exams her unhappiness had been relatively mild. Sure, she knew she knew her team trained too little, and that she was a bit underpowered compared to other genin. And yes, she knew she should train more on her own, but compared to Shikamaru and Chouji her skills seemed adequate. More than adequate, even! It was only now that she realized how huge the gap between her and other genin was.

She lost against Sakura. It was always comforting to Ino to know that, if nothing else, she was still better than her childhood friend, and that comfort had been stripped from her in the preliminaries. Sakura had beat her easily, despite still recovering from a debilating injury. Worse than that, Ino was painfully aware that Sakura was an ideal opponent for her in that exam. Everyone else was not only stronger, but also far more ruthless. Even the sweet little Hinata…

Ino shook as a shiver ran down her spine. That could have easily been her, lying dead in the arena. Hinata did admirably against a clearly superior opponent and it still wasn't enough. If Sakura had been as ruthless as Neji, she could have easily ended Ino's life instead of just burying her up to her chin in dusty earth. She hadn't been ready for that exam.

She glanced at Shikamaru and Chouji again, willing them, _daring them_ to meet her gaze. They didn't. She sighed and resumed her pacing.

None of them had been ready.

Suddenly she stopped in her tracks, her face twisted into an ugly sneer. Their teacher was late. Again. While not as bad as Kakashi, Asuma wasn't particularly concerned about punctuality either. Not even, apparently, after seeing his entire team metaphorically trampled in the Chuunin exams. She had no doubt that once he arrives, he'll put them through some light training and then move on to endless games with Shikamaru before leading them to a restaurant of Chouji's choice. Before, she found it rather annoying. Now it pissed her off.

Why was she even here? She should be with Naruto, to give him some comfort. He was devastated by the death of his friend, she was sure, and no one would let her see him. She managed to track him down to the general hospital, even though the staff denied they even had him, but his room was guarded by a couple of Chuunin, and she was turned away. It was like they were keeping him prisoner, and she didn't understand why.

There was a lot of things she didn't understand about Naruto, but usually she tried to ignore it. Her father didn't react well to her inquiries about him, and neither did any of her other gossip partners. Now, however, the mystery was too pronounced to ignore – the things people were saying about him both strange and infuriating, and she couldn't make heads or tails about the underlying truth. If Naruto was in front of her, she wasn't sure she could restrain herself from demanding an explanation, even though she knew now was a terrible time to demand such things of him.

"Hello, my dear students."

Ino immediately whirred around to face Asuma, a scowl still plastered on her face. Idly she noted that she didn't notice his approach. Jounin or not, the truth was she didn't even try to keep an eye on her surroundings. Just one more area she was lacking in.

"Things cannot go on like this, Asuma-_sensei_," Ino snapped at him.

"I completely agree," he said, surprising her into silence. He took advantage of that to continue. "That's why we're going to make use of this month for some intense training."

Ino heard a groan from Shikamaru and restrained her urge to hit him.

"For this purpose I have ensured the cooperation of several other Jounin and Chuunin, and they will occasionally join us to impart their unique skills unto you or simply test your progress," Asuma continued, acting as if he heard nothing. "I sincerely hope you won't embarrass me, because I wouldn't like that. Oh, I almost forgot – Sasuke from team 7 and Kiba from team 8 will join us in this training, since their instructors will be busy training members of their team who passed into the final portion of the Chuunin exams."

Ino was surprised how _un_excited she was to heard she would be spending a whole month around Sasuke. She just wasn't in the mood at the moment – too many things were happening at once, and she felt like she was being overwhelmed.

Ino sighed. This was going to be a long month.

- break -

"So you think using Kyuubi's youki shortens your life?" Kabuto asked, staring intently at the plethora of unrolled scrolls in front of him.

"You don't?" Naruto asked.

"I understand how you could have reached that impression. The weakened tissues and the damage to your chakra coils imply as much. Still, I don't think things are that simple. You didn't notice this because you haven't been doing regular fully body scans, but the amount of youki coursing through your body has increased ever since you drew on the fox's power."

Naruto frowned. "I don't follow. Shouldn't the overlay-"

"The overlay caps the flow of youki into your chakra coils, but this is completely separate from the issue of how much of that youki gets distributed to your body," Kabuto said. "All jinchuuriki need a steady supply of youki from their prisoner in order for their bodies to function properly. This is an unavoidable feature all jinchuuriki share, because it embodies the dependency, the bond between the tailed beast and its host. It is this bond that prevents the bijuu from tearing their containers apart in order to free themselves, but it is also a channel that allows the bijuu to influence their hosts to some degree. When I did a full body scan on you the first time we met, the amount of youki your body required was 3 times lower than it is now. This implies that the channel between you and Kyuubi has widened considerably."

"While creepy and a fine example of unintended consequences of poorly thought-out actions, what does that have to do with my life-span?"

"Your body isn't actually damaged by channeling vast amounts of youki, despite appearances. Rather, it is _changed_. Kyuubi broke down many of your cells and rebuilt them in a way that is more… compatible to him. So long as you supply enough youki to your body, those cells are actually stronger and more efficient than your natural ones, but deprived of that…"

"And the overlay puts a cap on the amount of youki that is allowed in my coils," finished Naruto. "Still, if Kyuubi does this every time I flood my body with youki, my body will eventually require more and more youki to survive. I would become extremely sensitive to the flow of youki, which I already know the Kyuubi can manipulate as he pleases. It would give the fox far too much blackmail material for my comfort. Even though it hurts me somewhat, I'm not loosening the seal overlay."

"**You fear me."**

Kabuto jerked in his seat, glancing fearfully towards the gigantic unblinking eye visible through a nearby window. Naruto simply rolled his eyes and blow a fresh jet of bubbles out of his pipe.

"You know, your mindscape is so lifelike I sometimes forget just where we are," Kabuto admitted. "Admittedly, it is a convenient way of avoiding Jiraya's scrutiny. We must be driving him batty, seemingly spending hours each day practicing meditation."

"The time dilation is useful too," Naruto said.

"**You **_**should**_** fear me,"** the fox continued, ignoring the interruption. **"Even in my bondage, my power is vast and terrible. You may have foiled one of my ploys, but my cunning is endless and my patience everlasting."**

Naruto raised his eyebrow at the eye. "So why are you speaking to me? You don't honestly expect me to just surrender now, do you?"

"**I wish to make a deal with you, monkey boy."**

Naruto blinked.

"**Ever since you left Konoha, you have been trying to duplicate the enhancements my youki has done to your body with your own chakra,"** the fox said. **"I offer you knowledge of how to achieve such a feat."**

Naruto was shocked. He expected the fox to offer something small an irrelevant, to fight tooth and nail against making any sort of significant concession, but instead it offers such a massive favor? Warning bells immediately sounded in his head and he narrowed his eyes at the hateful eye in front of him.

"And just what do you want in exchange for something like that?" Naruto asked suspiciously.

"**Nothing."**

Shocked silence followed the proclamation.

"**It is a peace offering,"** the fox elaborated. **"Considering our past dealings, you would have doubtlessly refused any substantive request, fearing it a trick. Not an unreasonable sentiment. Thus, I am offering a no-strings-attached favor as a gesture of good will."**

"No favor is without attached strings," Naruto said resolutely.

"**Hah. I suppose a puppeteer **_**would**_** know about that. But I have already told you what I hope to gain by this. I wish to trade, but trust necessary for such dealings does not exist at the moment. You are in no way required to reciprocate me for my magnanimous favor in any way. I promise this on my demon pride, and a promise thus made is unbreakable. What do you say?"**

Catching the eager look on Kabuto's face, Naruto knew that at least one person was hooked. Naruto was not so sure.

"You're awfully polite, fox," Naruto said with narrowed eyes. "Where are the threats of bodily harm and youki poisoning? Where are the proclamations of my worthlessness?"

"**They are not conductive to trade negotiations,"** the fox rumbled. **"I am able to control myself when the situation calls for it, you know."**

"Why do you want to trade, anyway?" Naruto asked. "Why now and not before?"

"**Why should I barter for something I can just take?"**

"Except you can't now," Naruto surmised.

"**Right,"** agreed the fox. **"Up until now, there was a good chance to succeed in remaking your body into a perfect vessel to take control of. At that point, the seal would have become immaterial, as your flesh would have simply become a core of my new body. Unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly obvious you are too perceptive to let things degenerate to that point. Thus, trade."**

"And you're willing to tell me how to enhance my body with chakra for free to get merely a chance at this trade?"

"**I could give you my very thoughts to peruse, teaching you in an instant,"** the fox bragged. **"But I rather suspect you would not agree to such."**

"You would be right," Naruto said. "Who knows what kind of traps you could have hidden in something like that?"

"**Figures. I guess we'll do this the slow way,"** Kyuubi said. **"When you've been trying to enhance your muscles earlier, you did it by directing chakra to specific body part. Worse, you did it by limiting your targets to muscles, and you were simply flooding them with undirected chakra. You will not get anywhere like that. A body is a made of many parts, and all of them are critical. When you punch something, you are not using only your arm – your whole body contributes. Even if you only intend to use an enhanced finger-flick, you need to strengthen your entire skeletal system, various muscles all over the body and the ligaments that connect them to your bones and joints, harden the skin so it isn't sheared off on impact, and so on. Naturally, this requires great familiarity about how your body works – familiarity that can be achieved either by scholarly study of anatomy and medicine, or by extensive trial and error. Preferably a combination of the two."**

"Complicated," Naruto remarked.

"**Quite,"** the fox agreed. **"And all of this chakra manipulation has to be done instantaneously and without hand seals. Normally it would take a person years to perfect it to the point where it would be useable in combat circumstances. That is, unless you have an eon-old demon lord in your gut that knows your body inside an out and can guide you through the process. You should have the technique in usable condition before this mission is done."**

Naruto hummed ponderously. It seems this mission wasn't going to be as big of a waste of time as he thought. He wondered how Tsunade's super strength holds up against Kyuubi-inspired body enhancement. And what a coincidence, they're searching for the wayward Sannin anyway! It was almost like fate. Maybe if he manages to impress her she'll teach him some of her secrets?

She can't possibly be worse than Jiraya and Orochimaru.

- break -

Jiraya was not having a good month. First Orochimaru pops up in Konoha during the Chuunin exams, something that Jiraya had no explanation for (and he _should_ know since, as Sarutobi helpfully reminded him, running his spy network was his whole reason from being absent from the village all the time). Explaining to his old teacher why he had been blindsided like that had been rather embarrassing. Then that Hyuuga girl ended up dead during the preliminaries and everyone had been jumping at his throat for not reacting sooner, as if stopping a Hyuuga with nigh-Jounin speed from the other end of the arena while water walking was piece of cake. He was pretty amazing, yes, but not that amazing. And just his luck, the girl was close with Naruto, so now the blond was pissed at him too.

Jiraya tried to be understanding. He knew it must be infuriating to be exiled on this fool's quest when all you want to do is tear some bastard's throat in revenge for killing your friend, and with a man who was at least mildly culpable for her death no less. Jiraya didn't really understand Sarutobi's logic in this, but then again that was why he wasn't Hokage. He was pleased that the boy bounced back from his broody mood fairly quickly, but in the end the boy interacted solely with the grey-haired medic that was traveling with them, never with Jiraya. At first Jiraya thought the brat would crack quickly, unable to keep a grudge for more than a few days, but it had been two weeks and nothing had changed. The blond never complained about the slow pace they were making, Jiraya's frequent research periods, or anything else. Jiraya did his best to spy on the two, but they spent most of the time absorbed in some kind of experiments with medical techniques, and that was an area that Jiraya had little understanding of, despite being Tsunade's teammate. The rest of the time they meditated, for some inexplicable reason, and watching them while they did that got old pretty fast.

"What do you mean you found Tsunade?" Jiraya asked the blonde, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. He couldn't have possibly… They were just wandering around randomly, for crying out loud! The chances of stumbling upon his wayward teammate were _astronomical_!

"She's in the village 30 miles to the east," the boy said, pointing towards some unseen destination. "She and another black haired woman with a pig. They'll be staying there for the next couple of days."

Jiraya raised his eyebrow at that. On one hand, him mentioning Shizune led credence to his claim, since Jiraya certainly didn't inform him of her, but how would the boy know that?

"And how, pray tell, do you know this? Your mysterious sources, again? Do they contact you telepathically and relay things like this to you? Or maybe visit you in their dreams," mocked Jiraya.

Naruto rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Mind-to-mind communication? That's a good idea actually, I should put some thought into it later… But no, this one is all me, with the help of my Eyes."

Jiraya frowned. "Your eyes? What, do you have some kind of doujutsu?"

"No, just my sealing skills," Naruto said, raising his hand. Jiraya watched as a dragonfly flitted over to them and landed gently on his finger. Jiraya had noticed the blond messing around with dragonflies during their travels but he never thought it significant. He figured the blond was just relieving pent-up aggression by torturing the poor things to death. Come to think of it, they were always followed by dragonflies wherever they went, the little buggers always coming and going…

"Wait," Jiraya began. "You mean to tell me-"

"Yes," Naruto nodded. "They are my eyes. They're not really alive, not after I'm done with them. They are more of an extension of me, allowing me to see far and wide. I like dragonflies because they fast and enduring fliers and just the right size – small and common enough to remain inconspicuous yet fairly large for an insect, allowing me to pack a lot of seals into them."

Jiraya stared at him in shock. Sarutobi told him the boy was interested in seals but he never said it was anything like _this_! It made him wonder just how much of the blonde's other skills were understated. The boy's medical skills, for instance, were never really quantified properly in the report Jiraya read.

"You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot, Naruto," Jiraya said. "What do you say that I help you out a bit while we go check this sighting out?"

"Help me out?" the boy asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowing. "You're not trying to keep us away while they leave, are you? Because it's not going to work."

"No, no, nothing like that," Jiraya assured him. "I admit I didn't really expect to find Tsunade within a month – she can be quite elusive when she wants to be – but I won't stop you from completing the mission. Frankly, it's the Hokage's own fault if this plan backfires on him. No, I just think it's rather unfair that you'll be the only contestant who won't be getting any training before the finals. Why don't we find an out of the way clearing so I can test your skills and then we'll see what I can help you with.

Jiraya was ecstatic when the blond reluctantly agreed. Not only does he score some point with the kid for helping him out, but he also gets an excuse to get a feel for the boy's capabilities. He didn't doubt for a second that the boy would hide a great deal of his skill, but it was a start.

Naruto lead him towards a fitting shop his little dragonflies have found while they were talking (convenient things, these 'eyes'; Jiraya wondered if the blonde would teach him how to make them if he asks nicely, since they would come real handy in his line of work… and for his research, he, he, he…), Kabuto trailing behind them, when suddenly all three of the stiffened.

A gigantic blast of severing wind crashed down upon the spot they stood on only a few moments earlier, but none of the three were there any more. Jiraya was impressed with the calmness and skill of the two genin, but didn't let that distract him from their attackers. One of them, a young blonde girl with a battle fan that launched the initial attack, was clearly visible but confronting her directly would be a mistake. Jiraya didn't doubt for a second there's more than one attacker.

The sound of breaking stone behind him warned him that his two genin were being attacked, but when he glanced back he saw Naruto and Kabuto fairly effortlessly dealing with two more attackers. The puppeteer had been trying to hide behind a large boulder while keeping Naruto busy with his two puppets, but that failed when Naruto simply turned the boulder into rubble with a single punch. Jiraya turned just in time to see Naruto heft a chunk of the boulder as big as himself over his shoulder like it was a common kunai and hurl it at the other attacker – a sand wielder that hastily erected a sand barrier to stop the rock from taking his head off. Jiraya was so shocked he almost got cleaved in half by a wind blade from another attacker with half of his face covered with a piece of cloth. 'Mild medical talent'? The boy was the second coming of Tsunade!

He pushed such thought aside for the moment, aware that he can't afford to underestimate the enemy, no matter how unimpressive they were. Jiraya recognized the sand ninja as participants in the Chuunin exams, so he knew they were genin. Talented genin, but still genin. The masked man, presumably their Jounin instructor, was a threat, but only a mild one. There was no way they would attack one of the Sannin with such a meager force. What was he missing?

He got a partial answer a moment later when a whole squad of Jounin joined the fight. Normally Jiraya would have simply incapacitated them so he could interrogate them about their reasons for attacking, but it was obvious they weren't here for Jiraya. They focused their attacks on Naruto. Jiraya had failed too many things during the last months already, and wasn't going to return to Konoha having failed to protect his grandson too. It was time to get serious.

Jiraya surged forward to intercept a couple of sword-wielding Jounins, undeterred by a giant wooden lizard that exploded out of the ground in front of him. He absent-mindedly outstretched his hand, forming a giant rasengan in front of him, and the puppet promptly turned to sawdust. The two sword-wielders didn't even have time to react when Jiraya buried his hands into their chests, breaking ribs like they were twigs.

The rest of the attacking force hesitated for a moment, apparently realizing that getting past Jiraya was not as easy as they thought. Honestly, Jiraya didn't know what they were thinking in the first place, though he blamed the preliminaries. You let one genin get the better of you and suddenly everyone and their mother think they can take you on. He blazed through a couple of hand seals.

The granite rose technique caused the earth beneath the target to erupt into a multitude of stony spikes that impaled everything in the vicinity. It was a tricky technique to use, because the target had to remain still while the user goes through the hand seals. Most people thought it an assassination technique.

Jiraya could make a while field of granite roses with a single application.

Miraculously, one of Jounin avoided being skewered on the field of pikes – he pushed enough chakra into the soles of his feet to propel himself into the air, leaving a small explosion in his wake. Jiraya was just wandering what to do about him when a rock the size of Jiraya's torso slammed into the soaring man, propelling him away from the battlefield. Apparently Naruto wasn't satisfied with just watching the battle.

Jiraya turned towards his genin, pleased that they haven't done anything stupid and gotten themselves killed or captured. Most of the attacking force was dead, and the rest were hiding behind a wall of sand created by the gourd-carrying genin, apparently reluctant to leave but aware that their attack has no chance of succeeding.

The second part of his answer came when he narrowly dodged a lunge by a giant snake trying to devour him, a familiar figure perched on top of its head.

"Ku, ku, ku, ku…" Orochimaru chuckled creepily. "I guess it's true when they say that if you want something done you have to do it yourself. I should have done this right from the start. _So_ many problems would have been solved if I had just killed the brat personally in that forest… Sand shinobi! Take out the Kyuubi brat while I keep Jiraya busy."

"Well fuck," groused Jiraya, already going through the hand seals for summoning.

This really wasn't a good month for him.

- break -

Fighting against 3 other genin – rather talented genin at that – and their Jounin sensei would have been pretty much a lost cause for any two regular genin. Especially when one of the genin was a jinchuuriki like Gaara. Unfortunately for the sand team, neither Naruto nor Kabuto were normal genin. Naruto had already de-armed one of Kakuro's puppets through sheer strength and smashed Temari's fan to pieces, and the Jounin was limping after being caught in the leg with Kabuto's chakra scalpels. They were currently hiding behind a sand barrier that Gaara erected, trying to think up a proper course of action.

To be fair towards the Sand team, this was supposed to be an even more unfair fight, with a whole squad of Jounin helping them win quickly and decisively. They just didn't expect for the whole squad to be taken out by only one of Jiraya's techniques.

"There is no choice," Baki panted. "Gaara, you will have to release your beast."

Gaara glanced at his Jounin sensei impassively, trying to decide what to do. He didn't doubt for a second that Naruto's threat back in the forest of death was real, which meant that he _couldn't_ obey an order like this, no matter how much he may want to. Of course, Baki couldn't be allowed to know this – the man was no his friend, not by a long shot. None of the Sand ninja were, for that matter, not even his siblings.

In barely a second he reached his decision. Sand surged from the wall of sand Gaara erected to protect them and shot towards the shocked Jounin. Sadly, without Shukaku's aid, the sand was simply too slow to catch the Jounin in time and the man Shunshin'd out of range.

Gaara hissed in frustration. This was what he was afraid of.

"G-Gaara!" Temari protested. "What the hell do you think you're doing! This is no time to turn on your comrades!"

Before Gaara could proceed with plan B (envelop yourself in a sphere of Sand and wait till the other jinchuuriki kills all the threats around him before fleeing to parts unknown) a new voice made itself known.

"This really is our lucky day, yeah?" the voice said, hideously happy about something. Gaara hated happy people. "Both the Ichibi and the Kyuubi are in the same place, and far from any village too. We can get both of them at the same time! Hell, I could get both of the little runts and your three could sit this one out, yeah!"

Gaara turned towards a voice and stared at the four men in black cloaks with red clouds painted on them. Just from looking at them Gaara could see they were way out of his league at the moment. They would have probably been out of his league even if Naruto hadn't cripple him like he did.

"Leader-sama has already assigned a target for each of us," the red-eyes member of the group said monotonously. "Kisame and I will take care of the Ninetails. You and Yugo subdue the Sand Jinchuuriki."

"Hey! Who died and put you in charge!" the blond man protested.

"He is merely reiterating Leader-sama's orders," the orange-haired man piped in. "They have their target. We have ours."

"Tch. Fine!" the blonde man said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Let's get this art show started then!"

Gaara collapsed his wall of sand and glanced towards the blonde jinchuuriki standing not too far away.

"Uzumaki," he intoned solemnly. "I propose a temporary truce."

He had just enough time to see the other jinchuuriki nod in ascend before a swarm of clay birds descended on him and sound of explosions filled the air.


	15. SUMMARY

So, after all those assurances that I will finish the story, I am officially abandoning it. Yeah, I have no excuse. The thing is, I found myself wondering which elements of the story to cut in order to get it finally finished, and that's not very fair to the readers either. So instead I'll do the _other_ thing I've promised to do and post a plot summary so you're not all left hanging and wondering what was going to happen (at least, those of you who didn't give up in disgust after a 6-month wait).

**Those who have been asking me about any original stories I may have written will be pleased to know I have opened a fictionpress account – go to my profile to find a link.**

On to the summary:

The next chapter, 'Mere Dead Men', opens with the exact same scene the last chapter ended with - with Deidara peppering Naruto, Kabuto and Gaara with explosives. The other Akatsuki linger behind, not wanting to get caught in the explosions. Gaara shields them from the initial barrage, and then Naruto unleashes his _own_ explosives, prompting a short discussion between Naruto and Deidara, where they both profess their belief that explosives are a kind of art. Although Naruto is mostly joking, Deidara takes it quite seriously, and promptly up (and quite literally) blows off the plan Akatsuki had come with in order to face against 'a fellow artist', insisting that others are not to interfere. The others protest, but they're distracted when Kisame is attacked by a strange man wielding a scythe.

It doesn't take long for Kisame to realize he's fighting Hidan – or more accurately, Hidan's head mounted on a puppet body. Sasori and Kabuto had brainwashed the head with liberal application of mind-affecting seals and chemicals, and though it recognizes Kisame, it has no issues at all about killing him. Kabuto meanwhile faces against Itachi, who notes that Kabuto is not really on his level. Kabuto laughs and tells him that he is but a student, and that Hidan's presence means his master is nearby. He only has to stall until he comes to his aid.

Meanwhile Jugo (the original carrier of the cursed seal transformation – people keep complaining about his spelling so I don't know how to write his name at this point) is determined to stick to the plan, and goes after his original target – Gaara. Though weakened by Naruto's meddling with his seal, Gaara finds that his sand is strong enough to withstand Jugo's attacks. Unfortunately, Jugo is virtually indestructible to physical force, and Gaara has no means of hurting him.

The scene cuts to Orochimaru, who is fighting against Jiraya. Orochimaru mocks him and tell him he's unable to defeat him. Jiraya tells him that he is no longer interested in proving who's stronger, and that he'd stealthily sent a messenger toad to Sandaime the moment he realized just who was attacking them. Orochimaru laughs and tells him he was counting on that very thing – he wanted to lure Sandaime out of Konoha so that when his invasion started, there would be no one powerful enough to deal with the summons and the chain of command would be crippled. Jiraya tells him that he and Sandaime would kill him quickly and rush back to help with the defenders, but Orochimaru just chuckles and tells him he'll be dead long before Sandaime gets here. He then uses Impure World Resurrection. Jiraya, not knowing what it does, allows it to run its course unhindered and is shocked when he comes face to face with the three Hokages… especially his blond haired student. Orochimaru gloats and orders Yondaime to kill Jiraya. Unfortunately for Orochimaru, Yondaime sold his soul to the Death God to seal away the Kyuubi and thus his body is merely a soulless puppet with none of the skills it had in life. Orochimaru scoffs and tells Jiraya that it is of no consequence, because three Kage level ninja are quite sufficient to deal with him – he just thought it would be poetic to have his beloved student kill him. Before he can order the remaining two Hokage's to attack, however, a small figure steps out of the shadows and tells Orochimaru that he shouldn't be so confident just because he can summon a bunch of corpses, because he's not the only one with a dead Kage at his fingertips. It's Sasori! He unseals the third Kazekage, a human puppet made out of Zabuza, and a dozen or so more human puppets made from high-level missing nin, and the battle is joined.

The scene cuts to Neji, who is under unofficial house arrest, giving some insight into his internal thoughts as well as revealing a major part of Orochimaru's plan. Orochimaru had approached Neji and several other prominent Branch members of the Hyuuga clan, promising to free them of their seal and duty if they help out during the invasion. Most, including Neji, accepted – tragically, most did so because they feared reprisals because of what Neji did, and felt they had little choice. As the snake summons and the Sand-Sound alliance attacks, most Hyuuga rush out to help out, leaving Neji with only a couple of green guards to keep him in check. He disables/kills them and leaves, but is intercepted by Shino and Kiba, who were keeping an eye on him and just waiting for him to give them an excuse. Neji scoffs at them and tries to deal with them quickly. Kiba is shut down, but Shino had gotten Hinata's notes on her special healing technique from Naruto and practiced it nonstop, and reopens his tenketsu. The rest is a dramatic showdown between Shino and Neji where Shino reveals a couple of his own original kikaichu abilities – he knows how to infuse his kikaichu with fire chakra – but eventually gets cornered by Neji. However, Neji suddenly drops on the ground, exhausted, and Shino reveals to him that he had kikaichu traveling underground, just beneath his legs, stealthily siphoning his chakra as he kept Neji distracted and stalled for time.

Then there is a series of snapshots showing the rest of the rookies fighting the invaders – I didn't intend to spend much time on them, so I don't know how they would go. No rookie died in the invasion, though.

Then it's back to Naruto and the surrounding fights. Sasori and Jiraya have temporarily allied to tackle Orochimaru and his two Hokage slaves, and the Akatsuki are each tackling their own opponent. With four Akatsuki, 2 Sannin, 2 resurrected Hokages, 1 former Akatski, 2 S-class nin turned puppet, and a jinchuuriki, it is perfectly understandable that massive destruction and landscape rearranging is being done. The entire are is littered with deep craters and deep gouges where summons and explosives have marred the land, and a good portion of it is flooded with water (courtesy of Kisame) or encased in ice (courtesy of Haku's heart installed in puppet Hidan, Kakuzu-style). Puppet Zabuza and Naruto have used the water to shroud the battlefield in mist, which Kisame mocks, stating that it's foolish to use such tactics against a _mist ninja_, especially one of his caliber. Itachi tell him they're targeting him, not Kisame, since the mist is preventing him from dealing effectively with Kabuto, who would otherwise be absolutely no match for him. Concerned with the increasingly escalating situation and massive damages to the countryside that will surely attract unwanted attention to Akatsuki, Itachi slips away from Naruto to strike at Naruto, intending to simply take Naruto and retreat. Unfortunately, to ensure success, Itachi uses Tsukuyomi on him. Naruto identifies the world of Tsukuyomi as Itachi's mindscape and uses the power of his seal to drag both himself and Itachi into _his_ mindscape, where tables are turned on Itachi. Itachi breaks the connection after several hours of torture, but is in no state to continue the fight and orders a retreat. The other Akatsuki protest, but Jugo's suddenly become rippled and Pein speaks through him, confirming Itachi's orders. The Akatsuki retreat from the area, with Deidara whining all the way that he didn't resolve the question of whose art is better yet.

At the same time this is happening, Sandaime finally arrives at the scene and joins Jiraya. His presence tips the scales against Orochimaru, since Sandaime is familiar with the limitations of Impure World Resurrection and Orochimaru has been fighting for a while, unlike Sandaime. The two dead Hokages are immobilized by Sasori's puppets while Sandaime and Jiraya pull out the control tags out of their bodies, ending the technique. Furious, but knowing when he's beaten, Orochimaru tries to flee, but is boxed in by his opponents and 'killed', forcing him to assume his true form. Orochimaru boasts that he cannot be truly killed in the form, but Sandaime reminds him that Kyuubi couldn't be killed either, and that there are two seal-masters present. Orochimaru tells him he'd have to sacrifice himself to seal him away, and he has no successor yet, but Sandaime scoffs and tells him he is no tailed beast. Orochimaru is sealed away, kicking and screaming.

With Akatsuki gone and Orochimaru sealed away, the long-postponed confrontation between Naruto and Sarutobi is unavoidable. As Jiraya and Sandaime turn to question the mysterious red-headed puppeteer that helped them about who he is, Naruto, Kabuto, Gaara, and puppet Hidan appear by his side. Sasori admits he has been training Naruto and asks Naruto to leave the village with him, as he can no longer hide in Konoha. Sandaime is shocked when Naruto says yes, after briefly agonizing over the decision, and tries to talk him out of it to no avail. Before leaving, Naruto gives Sandaime instruction on how to cure Anko out of her coma, having divined the knowledge from Kyuubi's instruction in enhancing his body with chakra.

In the epilogue, Sandaime decides to keep Naruto's defection secret, stating in his files that he went on a three-year training trip. In the wake of the invasion and the resulting three vacancies among the rookies (Hinata, who is dead; Naruto, who defected; and Neji, who is imprisoned until his trial and unlikely to resume normal ninja duties anytime soon), the rookie 9 and team Gai are reshuffled. After notifying them of their new teams, Hokage instructs Shino, Kiba, Sakura, Sasuke, and Ino to stay behind. He tells them what really happened to Naruto and offers them membership is the so-called 'Naruto retrieval team' that will be trained jointly by Anko and Jiraya and will seek out Naruto after 3 years have passed. Ino protests at that and asks Sandaime why wait 3 years, and Sarutobi remarks that he doesn't think Naruto is going to listen to any random Konoha ninja – only they, as his friends, have a chance… though not right now, as Sandaime doesn't believe Naruto would agree to come back any time soon. He hopes Naruto will calm down after 3 years have passed, and they will hopefully be skilled enough to convince him after being trained for 3 years by a Sannin and a tracking-capable special Jounin like Anko. They all accept, each for their own reasons.

The rest of the epilogue focuses on the thoughts of the 5 chosen rookies, their motives for accepting and their plans for the future.

The end.

As you can see, the ending was supposed to be a kind of a twisted mirror to Valley of the End arc, only with Naruto leaving the village instead of Sasuke. Much like how Konoha doesn't immediately denounce Sasuke a missing nin and hunt him down like a dog, Naruto is likewise not a hated figure – in the epilogue his friends are determined to bring him back, thinking him stupid for leaving but ultimately just misguided instead of evil. As to what happens after that? Well, I was entertaining the thoughts of a sequel when I started writing this, but no definitive plans exist… and since I couldn't even finish this part, there will definitely be no sequel. At least, not from me – if _you_ want to write a sequel, be my guest.

And… that's it. I really do apologize to everyone who waited for 6 months only to get this kind of update, but I really can't make myself continue writing this story. I'm not giving up on writing – see the bolded paragraph near the top of the chapter – but I'm definitely done with this story. I had been writing and rewriting the next chapter for the last 6 months, and all I've been doing is sapping my creative energies and giving false hope to my readership.

PM me if you have any additional questions.


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